Post by Alexander Pasternak on May 12, 2019 8:08:47 GMT -5
The house lights dim, cascading darkness over an audience that fidgets in their seats, eyes fixed upon the stage. Waiting on bated breath, the crowd gasps in unison as the curtains peel back to reveal an empty stage, a lone spotlight shining at the center. Footsteps echo through the theater, and a thin man in an ill-fitting tuxedo stumbles into the light, a large, garishly-decorate leather belt slung over his shoulder.
"Y'all're here to see some real magic, aren't ya?"
The audience erupts in cheers and applause. The man places his hand to his mouth to conceal a smile and bashfully looks down at the ground.
"You came to the right place, then. My name is Alexander Pasternak, and today I'm going to show you how to make a prestigious, downright dominant title reign disappear."
Alex shoots a passing glance over his shoulder, eyes on the belt.
"Well… shit. Looks like that part's already happened. You know how it is, can't really unring that bell now, can I? Oh, fuck it. Ta-da!"
Alex bows before the crowd, who glare at him — mostly confused — but applaud anyway out of kindness.
"Now, for my next trick, here's something I can actually do at the moment. With the snap of my fingers, I'll make Magic Maddox's dignity disappear."
Alex snaps his fingers. A beat passes and he squints at his hand, cocking his head. He snaps again. Snap. Snap. Snap.
"Oh fuck, right," Alex says, nodding his head. "I can't do that either because the guy doesn't have any.
"I mean let's be real, Maddox's window of contention for this title snapped shut the second I peeled it away from QD3.14's cum-crusted, elder-abusing hands. Maddox could not solve QDT, not all the magic in the world and yet I, along with my best friend William Moor, made him fall for the oldest trick in the book. Maddox can plow his way through the rest of the Cruiserweight division until the end of time but when it comes to facing someone like me, someone like QDT, someone who stands out amongst the cannon fodder that makes up the rank and file of this division, he will always come up short.
"But, he will always jump at the opportunity to get smacked back into place. Catching one L at the hands of the Guillotine wasn't enough. So he went and had himself a monstrous performance at Clash of Champions, dropping every (pre)/(con)tender for this lovely piece of apparel in my collection until he that wall again. Quixote Della Torre. The magic ran out once again and ol' Maddy revealed himself for what he is: a choke-artist. A supporting piece. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Take your pick of the cliches, the important part is that when the going gets tough, Maddox brings out the big guns and puts on his greatest performances: that of being a cuckold. Bleat all you fuckin' want Maddy, your dad's name is three letters long, but they're all consonants.
"And the funny thing is, I bet Maddy thinks he's gonna walk all over me. That's just how it be on this bitch of an earth I guess. I remove the thorn in his side from the equation whole-fucking-sale and he gets that shine in his eyes. He doesn't see the writing on the wall and he thinks this is his time to shine. He can snatch that belt without having to go through QDT because I did the heavy-lifting there and he doesn't have to look like a bitch in the process. Of course, he's wrong. He's wrong because he can't see what's right in front of him. And this is where I stake my claim: I am a better magician than Magic Maddox.
"I have been able to consistently make people forget who the fuck I am. Every time someone squares off with me they think they have me figured out. They aren't going to fall for my antics, my 'underachieving', my whatever else. They all walk in with heads high because they see right through me.
"And each and every time I expose just how little they know.
"That's real magic, Maddy. Watch and learn."
"Y'all're here to see some real magic, aren't ya?"
The audience erupts in cheers and applause. The man places his hand to his mouth to conceal a smile and bashfully looks down at the ground.
"You came to the right place, then. My name is Alexander Pasternak, and today I'm going to show you how to make a prestigious, downright dominant title reign disappear."
Alex shoots a passing glance over his shoulder, eyes on the belt.
"Well… shit. Looks like that part's already happened. You know how it is, can't really unring that bell now, can I? Oh, fuck it. Ta-da!"
Alex bows before the crowd, who glare at him — mostly confused — but applaud anyway out of kindness.
"Now, for my next trick, here's something I can actually do at the moment. With the snap of my fingers, I'll make Magic Maddox's dignity disappear."
Alex snaps his fingers. A beat passes and he squints at his hand, cocking his head. He snaps again. Snap. Snap. Snap.
"Oh fuck, right," Alex says, nodding his head. "I can't do that either because the guy doesn't have any.
"I mean let's be real, Maddox's window of contention for this title snapped shut the second I peeled it away from QD3.14's cum-crusted, elder-abusing hands. Maddox could not solve QDT, not all the magic in the world and yet I, along with my best friend William Moor, made him fall for the oldest trick in the book. Maddox can plow his way through the rest of the Cruiserweight division until the end of time but when it comes to facing someone like me, someone like QDT, someone who stands out amongst the cannon fodder that makes up the rank and file of this division, he will always come up short.
"But, he will always jump at the opportunity to get smacked back into place. Catching one L at the hands of the Guillotine wasn't enough. So he went and had himself a monstrous performance at Clash of Champions, dropping every (pre)/(con)tender for this lovely piece of apparel in my collection until he that wall again. Quixote Della Torre. The magic ran out once again and ol' Maddy revealed himself for what he is: a choke-artist. A supporting piece. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Take your pick of the cliches, the important part is that when the going gets tough, Maddox brings out the big guns and puts on his greatest performances: that of being a cuckold. Bleat all you fuckin' want Maddy, your dad's name is three letters long, but they're all consonants.
"And the funny thing is, I bet Maddy thinks he's gonna walk all over me. That's just how it be on this bitch of an earth I guess. I remove the thorn in his side from the equation whole-fucking-sale and he gets that shine in his eyes. He doesn't see the writing on the wall and he thinks this is his time to shine. He can snatch that belt without having to go through QDT because I did the heavy-lifting there and he doesn't have to look like a bitch in the process. Of course, he's wrong. He's wrong because he can't see what's right in front of him. And this is where I stake my claim: I am a better magician than Magic Maddox.
"I have been able to consistently make people forget who the fuck I am. Every time someone squares off with me they think they have me figured out. They aren't going to fall for my antics, my 'underachieving', my whatever else. They all walk in with heads high because they see right through me.
"And each and every time I expose just how little they know.
"That's real magic, Maddy. Watch and learn."