Post by Guillotine (QDT) on May 3, 2019 15:34:57 GMT -5
Babe, we're growing closer. Ready to take the next step. Had our share of highs and lows. Many guys chase you, you flirted with a few... but I still burn for you. I love the feeling of your legs wrapped around my waist. That dirty rotten honey badger Zombie might've loosened you up but I'm the one who makes you come each week and I will be the LONGEST you'll ever have. We rode high together and I'm going to take you to places you've never been before. Let's make a longer commitment; I just need this week out the way and then I'mma put a ring on it.
Hi Quixote!
It's Jenna Bauer, my nemesis. Beautiful, twisted Jenna Bauer; only woman in the world to turn QDT down. She walks into catering with an annoying grin on her absurdly pretty face.
"Hi Quixote!" Oh, you're all "hi" and shit now that I'm the biggest fuckin' player on the AW roster. You didn't give me all that pussy tingled talk when I was "just" 201 & Fun Champion but since I eliminated 11 wrestlers in the Havoc Rumble, including four World Champions, you're all gooey in your cooey.
Just being friendly. Who were you talking to before?
I hold up my beloved 201 title. It looks far sexier than her right now, dat fo sho. The stench of Wasabi, Ms. Monster and Jaice Wilds just about faded.
Oh... I thought you had your ring rope hiding somewhere.
Shh Jenna, that shit ain't canon. So what brings you here?
Err, food. This is catering, no? I'm happy to interview you while I'm here, if you'd like?
I nod.
You're on the verge of a record. Monday's Clash will be your 50th day as 201 & Fun Champion. All that stands in the way of you and ZMAC's 56 day record is Eli Lobo who's hardly set AW ablaze as of yet. You must feel confident?
Confident? I'm going to LOBOtomise him. My reign will be a long ass reign but this match will be as quick as I'd make you squirt, three seconds... if you'd only drop the faux professional and socially conditioned misogyny outrage bullshit. Lobo can barely string two words together in English, never mind two wrestling moves. I'm on fire right now and when the Wolf comes to my door, I'm gonna turn him into a freakin' hot dog! That loco Lobo is howling up the wrong tree if he thinks he has a chance at blowing my house down. I 100% GUARENTEE YOU - Eli Lobo will NOT be the 201 & Fun Champ next week. If he wins, I'll quit AW and you'd all better batten down the hatches because it'd mean Apocalypse Now. NOT HAPPENING. I'll spank him so hard his bumchum Power Perez will feel sympathy pains.
On another note, which of your Havoc Rumble eliminations was most satisfying?
Well duh, Wade Moor of course. Or William as he calls himself now. He was on a lofty smug perch since last year's win and the previous elimination record... AND I CLOTHESLINED HIM THE FUCK OFF. But look, everyone's talking about me and Moor, mono e mono at Evolution 2; my "star making match"? Newsflash, I'm already a superstar! I'm also 201 Champ and I'll be defending it at Evolution... and last time I checked, Wade has to shed Yokozuna off his fat ass to come into the frame of the hottest division in AW. So nope, I won't be killing him again at Evolution. I got bigger fish to fry... well, lighter... you get my drift.
You became the latest fan favourite sensation; literally in minutes!
As I said on Twitter, behold the decay of Western civilisation. I BEAT FOOK OUT OF MY PARENTS AND DRY HUMPED THEIR BLOODIED BODIES. Super babyface 2019 style oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah.
The heart wants what it wants...
I raise an eyebrow as she blushes in realisation at the subtext of her beating vag. She stammers and makes her way to the food counter.
I'm getting lunch to go. Bye.
<3 Jenna. My bed has enough room for you, the ring rope and my 201 beauty.
Hi Quixote!
It's Jenna Bauer, my nemesis. Beautiful, twisted Jenna Bauer; only woman in the world to turn QDT down. She walks into catering with an annoying grin on her absurdly pretty face.
"Hi Quixote!" Oh, you're all "hi" and shit now that I'm the biggest fuckin' player on the AW roster. You didn't give me all that pussy tingled talk when I was "just" 201 & Fun Champion but since I eliminated 11 wrestlers in the Havoc Rumble, including four World Champions, you're all gooey in your cooey.
Just being friendly. Who were you talking to before?
I hold up my beloved 201 title. It looks far sexier than her right now, dat fo sho. The stench of Wasabi, Ms. Monster and Jaice Wilds just about faded.
Oh... I thought you had your ring rope hiding somewhere.
Shh Jenna, that shit ain't canon. So what brings you here?
Err, food. This is catering, no? I'm happy to interview you while I'm here, if you'd like?
I nod.
You're on the verge of a record. Monday's Clash will be your 50th day as 201 & Fun Champion. All that stands in the way of you and ZMAC's 56 day record is Eli Lobo who's hardly set AW ablaze as of yet. You must feel confident?
Confident? I'm going to LOBOtomise him. My reign will be a long ass reign but this match will be as quick as I'd make you squirt, three seconds... if you'd only drop the faux professional and socially conditioned misogyny outrage bullshit. Lobo can barely string two words together in English, never mind two wrestling moves. I'm on fire right now and when the Wolf comes to my door, I'm gonna turn him into a freakin' hot dog! That loco Lobo is howling up the wrong tree if he thinks he has a chance at blowing my house down. I 100% GUARENTEE YOU - Eli Lobo will NOT be the 201 & Fun Champ next week. If he wins, I'll quit AW and you'd all better batten down the hatches because it'd mean Apocalypse Now. NOT HAPPENING. I'll spank him so hard his bumchum Power Perez will feel sympathy pains.
On another note, which of your Havoc Rumble eliminations was most satisfying?
Well duh, Wade Moor of course. Or William as he calls himself now. He was on a lofty smug perch since last year's win and the previous elimination record... AND I CLOTHESLINED HIM THE FUCK OFF. But look, everyone's talking about me and Moor, mono e mono at Evolution 2; my "star making match"? Newsflash, I'm already a superstar! I'm also 201 Champ and I'll be defending it at Evolution... and last time I checked, Wade has to shed Yokozuna off his fat ass to come into the frame of the hottest division in AW. So nope, I won't be killing him again at Evolution. I got bigger fish to fry... well, lighter... you get my drift.
You became the latest fan favourite sensation; literally in minutes!
As I said on Twitter, behold the decay of Western civilisation. I BEAT FOOK OUT OF MY PARENTS AND DRY HUMPED THEIR BLOODIED BODIES. Super babyface 2019 style oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah.
The heart wants what it wants...
I raise an eyebrow as she blushes in realisation at the subtext of her beating vag. She stammers and makes her way to the food counter.
I'm getting lunch to go. Bye.
<3 Jenna. My bed has enough room for you, the ring rope and my 201 beauty.