Post by The Papa John's Pizza Man on Feb 25, 2018 16:47:46 GMT -5
The Cereal Man is out in the woods. He is holding a camera he stole it from a salesman who didn't understand what chloroform looked like. The Cereal Man of course also didn't know what chloroform looked like so it was quite lucky that The Cereal Man managed to knock said salesman out. Luck was a prominent factor in The Cereal Man's existence. Yet The Cereal Man didn't believe in luck.
The Cereal Man didn't belive in a lot of things: Luck, Morals, Personal Space, Buddhism, The Dominican Republic, Nascar, those where all lies invented by non-Cereal believing 7 billion-tuplets talking insane rabble. What he did believe in, though was Giant Space Cereal Owls that evolve from Cereal.
He didn't understand why he was the only person who believed in this. Cereal Owl believing was new and edgy and stuck it to the government.
Yet The Cereal Man was alone. But that wasn't always a bad thing. The way of the Cereal is a tough and trecherous one. The Cereal Man order is not for the faint of heart. It is for those with a cereal shaped hole in their brain that can only be filled by the extra-terrestrial Cereal Deities and their gracious vegetables of justice. Vegetables made of Cereal. All other forms of filling the void, will inevitably fail.
As The Cereal Man walks out of the woods and gazes upon a large bricked house. A therapists house. The Cereal Man knows such unenlightened men cannot help him but after he tried to shove one of his co-workers into a truck filled with cereal and scorpions he was instructed by management to head to therapy. Not wanting to lose The Cereal Man's best advertisement of Fruity Pebbles he reluctantly drags his humanoidness to the therapy house.
After being welcomed into the office of theraputicness The Cereal Man lies down.
Dr Hob: Ahhh, so this is...The Cereal Man.
The Cereal Man nods his head. Already uncomfortable with the idea of sharing his deep dark Cerealecrets with this clear non-believer. Ok.
Dr Hob: So, you've been sent here because you tried to force feed your co-workers Cereal... err... may I ask where did your obsession with Cereal come from?
The Cereal Man: It is not an obsession. It is the normal reaction of any normal human, which I am, also.
Therapist: Ok.... so you belive everyone should love Cereal. Why is that?
The Cereal Man: Because Cereal has the secret Key to all greatness in all life. I grew up in a bowl of Cereal native to Antarctica, where I was born. Now Cereal has became all I am.
Dr Hob:.....Ooooook.
The Cereal Man: Would you like to know what Cereal I was born in?
Dr Hob: Sure!
The Cereal Man: Ice Kripsies.
The Cereal Man gives out a laugh. So pathetic and emotionless it's sounds more like he's choking than laughing.
The Cereal Man: That was a joke. I was born in Denmark.
Dr Hob: Hehehe.... Yeah, well, now lets see. At your next show you're against Psico and Frost. With Action Wesley as special guest referee. How does this make you feel? Does it make you want to force feed people Cereal?
The Cereal Man: I do not like Frost. I was born in South America where I lived in hot temperatures. When I feel hot I think about home and when I think about anything I think about Cereal. Frost will have to be defeated unfortunately. Just like the rest.
Action Wesley has gained the key to letting everyone know about Cereal. Yet he cannot wield it correctly. He is too last-name-less. I must dethrone him to spread Cereality to the multiverse.
Psico.... That's not how you spell Psycho! Like there's a Y and a H and-! That's- It's just DONT SPELL IT LIKE THAT!
G-GOD!
The Cereal Man turned to the Therapist. The Cereal Man realised he had forgotten to ask something important.
The Cereal Man: By the way do you like Cereal?
Dr Hob: Well I, Wait, what're you-? Where did you that Ce-? Did you get that out of your mouth?! OH GOD NOO-
The Cereal Man didn't belive in a lot of things: Luck, Morals, Personal Space, Buddhism, The Dominican Republic, Nascar, those where all lies invented by non-Cereal believing 7 billion-tuplets talking insane rabble. What he did believe in, though was Giant Space Cereal Owls that evolve from Cereal.
He didn't understand why he was the only person who believed in this. Cereal Owl believing was new and edgy and stuck it to the government.
Yet The Cereal Man was alone. But that wasn't always a bad thing. The way of the Cereal is a tough and trecherous one. The Cereal Man order is not for the faint of heart. It is for those with a cereal shaped hole in their brain that can only be filled by the extra-terrestrial Cereal Deities and their gracious vegetables of justice. Vegetables made of Cereal. All other forms of filling the void, will inevitably fail.
As The Cereal Man walks out of the woods and gazes upon a large bricked house. A therapists house. The Cereal Man knows such unenlightened men cannot help him but after he tried to shove one of his co-workers into a truck filled with cereal and scorpions he was instructed by management to head to therapy. Not wanting to lose The Cereal Man's best advertisement of Fruity Pebbles he reluctantly drags his humanoidness to the therapy house.
After being welcomed into the office of theraputicness The Cereal Man lies down.
Dr Hob: Ahhh, so this is...The Cereal Man.
The Cereal Man nods his head. Already uncomfortable with the idea of sharing his deep dark Cerealecrets with this clear non-believer. Ok.
Dr Hob: So, you've been sent here because you tried to force feed your co-workers Cereal... err... may I ask where did your obsession with Cereal come from?
The Cereal Man: It is not an obsession. It is the normal reaction of any normal human, which I am, also.
Therapist: Ok.... so you belive everyone should love Cereal. Why is that?
The Cereal Man: Because Cereal has the secret Key to all greatness in all life. I grew up in a bowl of Cereal native to Antarctica, where I was born. Now Cereal has became all I am.
Dr Hob:.....Ooooook.
The Cereal Man: Would you like to know what Cereal I was born in?
Dr Hob: Sure!
The Cereal Man: Ice Kripsies.
The Cereal Man gives out a laugh. So pathetic and emotionless it's sounds more like he's choking than laughing.
The Cereal Man: That was a joke. I was born in Denmark.
Dr Hob: Hehehe.... Yeah, well, now lets see. At your next show you're against Psico and Frost. With Action Wesley as special guest referee. How does this make you feel? Does it make you want to force feed people Cereal?
The Cereal Man: I do not like Frost. I was born in South America where I lived in hot temperatures. When I feel hot I think about home and when I think about anything I think about Cereal. Frost will have to be defeated unfortunately. Just like the rest.
Action Wesley has gained the key to letting everyone know about Cereal. Yet he cannot wield it correctly. He is too last-name-less. I must dethrone him to spread Cereality to the multiverse.
Psico.... That's not how you spell Psycho! Like there's a Y and a H and-! That's- It's just DONT SPELL IT LIKE THAT!
G-GOD!
The Cereal Man turned to the Therapist. The Cereal Man realised he had forgotten to ask something important.
The Cereal Man: By the way do you like Cereal?
Dr Hob: Well I, Wait, what're you-? Where did you that Ce-? Did you get that out of your mouth?! OH GOD NOO-