Post by Odin Balfore on Apr 27, 2024 15:26:36 GMT -5
BLAST!
World Championship Fatal Four Way
______________
Blast is a befitting albeit, poetic potential end. In 2011, I won the U.S. Championship; my first title in WCF against Shane Boarderland. He popped up for a cup of coffee here the other year and I Ragnarok’d him back into the history books. Now, as this fucking company falters like a paraplegic on Nancy Karagens ice skates, this fatal four-way offers the opportunity to bookend the potential shortcomings of Action Wrestling. What happened at Fools Gold was just that - a comedy of errors because Brady Bolt gets cold feet and cold sweats knowing that I would come for him.
Teo Blaze survives by sheer ineptitude and Angelo scoops up with a contract. Action Wrestling is healing but it is not yet fully healed; not until that World title is around my waist. The Last Avenger - that's not just a catchphrase because Teo Blaze is a Belt Mark with no redeeming commercial qualities to sell tickets to anyone outside the mentally incapable. Not one single company has squarely put a firm belief into that goon bag outside of cheap pops and babyface fire. However, Teo’s so dumb, he doesnt know the difference between any of it and actually being able to carry the company.
Truthfully, Teo is on a long and tired list of names that have properly failed to carry the company:
Roy Speede
D-Day
Spencer Adams
SJW
Lissie Hope
Walter
FPV
Alex Richards
Raging Dead - Honary
Carter Shaw
Kyle Kemp
Gerard Angelo
Tatiana Jolee
Jill Park
That is a long list of people that the company had high hopes for and only three of those people are actually around.
Of those three, only Odin Balfore aint too busy smoking crack to see the writing on the wall when it comes to how financially fucked the company is but since this is 2024, no one wants real money, they just want Instagram likes.
Heartfelt pageantry aint keeping the lights on but I’m sure Teo is glad he got his Terry Funk moment in the sun before the janitor had to padlock his condo for missed payments. We all know those months of CW Tag Team Champ royalty checks aint paying for the storage unit that he’s going to have to live in - let alone carry weight to sell out arenas and stadiums.
So yes, it’s a sign from God that the Last Avenger is here to save the entire company from ruin. Everything is down, ratings, attendance, merch - you name it, this is the worst span for Action Wrestling. This entire roster is fucking dogshit, crying to each other in the back with not enough Back-BONE to stand up and get shit done.
This old washed up, piece of shit ran rough-shod through the ‘best’ on this miserably failed roster so I’m not wanton to hear how it’s gonna be anyone bullshit time or their here to take me down.
You all fucking failed - that's why I’m here. This is that broken glass in case of emergency. Tort came back from vacation, looked around at his creation, and wept tears of fucking blood. The money fucking gone and trust me, my pockets are not feeling generous enough to bail this company out a second time. So, we’re going to do this at the cost of each and every one of you. I will build this company up from the ashes of your career and don’t worry, your compliance is not a factor in this.
Muru, you could consider yourself an innocent in this but my destructive path takes no prisoners and leaves no survivors. Do what's best and just don’t show up for work. I better hope that you run faster than my gun.
Gerard, you fucking cunt. You wasted that fucking briefcase but I know why you did it. That was the easier of your options. One hundred and ninety days as champion only to be a footnote at the end of it all.
My god, just blow your brains out now. Make Medulla Oblongata marinated pasta ala gray matter all over the walls.
Pasta La Vista, fuccboi.
The entire roster has waited with bated breath like a Chris Hansen Christmas Special because for a month now they’ve been anticipating
The truth.
All the failures, all the promo, all the answers to all the problems except the one that's been staring them in the face. Not one of you can save your ignorant and ugly selves from each other. When two bitches get online and tell the World that Gerard Angelo is gonna win-
Wait wait wait, hold up’ A-cups - homeboi is the reason your tricking slick willys in the loading dock right the fuck now. Takin on a pack ten deep, prayin that one of these crackheads is Odell Beckham in disguise. Karlie Nash, hoping that she still passes for a fourteen-year-old boy.
Vespertine, in it for life, in it for the passion because she certainly cannot fucking wrestle.
Doc Holiday in the back, just thanking god that for once it aint Johnny Cedrone. N aint that the greatest trick the Devil ever played right there.
Odin Balfore, at BLAST, poetic as it is prophetic - leavin those two fucking losers to battle it out in an endless death loop for the ‘ second most prestigious title’ in AW. You pieces of monkey shit, that US title was great because I made it great.
I elevated this entire roster from day one to day zero and The Last Avenger, the Karma God, the Prime Odin will stop all of you out again with ease.
The Shareholders demand it.
The people demand it and I Will it fucking so.
And my Will is absolute.
This isnt pay purview.
This isnt even a premium live event.
It’s a fucking bloodbath with no survivors.
___________________
Ya boi haz seen the ineptitude of mismanagement time & time again. WCF, UCI, AW, Alpha-pro, Black-Pyramid. It comes from the allergic reaction of not wanting to make any gawd damned monyz. Like How if Gerard Angelo did anything Hollywood-related other than get roofed and butt fucked, he might self-immolate. N’ if’n you wanna just close the doors -> that's gucci but don’t be drawnin shit out. Yet here is ya boi, the coked up Madman with the weight of the world on his back N’ fah what?
Cuz the boys aint stars no mo’ N dey don’t wanna put the work in.
Instgram famous-> aint that why we here ->
Aint that why Tatianna is on Twitter and Vestpertine writes on the walls. That's why Karlie Nash exists, it’s always Olympic season with her, somehow.
The math aint mathin’ N the checks B bouncin little latina tittays next week. Don’t worry, The Livin’ Legend got quips.
“I will beat you with your own shoe.”
And the ever classic,
“Loser.”
If we’re goin there, than Ol’ Z don’t need to abide by the contract. I got Zodd’d for a chinese take out joke that Eddie Murphy made in 1987 but if’n the dust is dusted than Ol’ Z gone turn all ya’ll into Neo Nazi autistic train enthusiasts within the hour. I think Muru is already there.
Teo’s been there. Tryin to talk out both sides his ass -> that's why we are where we are.
This aint about character development. This aint about the here N now. This about what cums next -> if’n the Cialis kick in we be ridin hard all night long.
Ya’ll want Ol’ Dirtys development -> its Ya’ll know what lives, breathes and dies wid him but give the clown his clothes and the country goes to ruin.
That's first-hand experience from ya boy over here.
Gerard, take your three mediocre title reigns, pack that shit up in a box in the attic and call yourself a legend. Go win a Tony award or sumthin’ you scrub.
Wrestlin’ hurts. It botes, it sucks but it beats life, and trust ya boi, you aint got a breath of it left in you. Ol’ Dirty Balfore comin for you. He comin for Teo, he comin’ for Muru.
There is no Hollywood ending, no feel-good ending, just three dudes gettin protected because sum cunt with a communications degree saw the old school and got scared.
When all them chips are gone N you aint got nobody left by your side to pat you ass and tell you that you push the needle and you got to look me in my yellow eyes and Odin in his greys.
Beaten. Broken. Betrayed. Dismayed and disgruntled.
Off-script seems like a matter of time, rather than fortune.
Time to get cook’d boys.
The world title needs it.
____________________
The Coleman Colleseum.
Pre-Blast Press Conference
Odin and ZMAC are sitting at a conference table with the Blast promotional poster in the background; finishing up a round of media tours. Odin is wearing an all-black suit, while ZMAC is just doing Honey Badger things in his classic attire. The two of them stand against the press the press junket with Action Wrestling's sixth year on shaky ground.
Q: Odin, Blast is in just a few days; what pressure are you feeling to capture the AW title.
Odin doesn't respond. ZMAC interrupts on his behalf.
ZMAC: There are unproven money makers in this company who this very week will do everything in their powah tah kum up N take it. Aint no pressure when you are the pressure. Gerard haz the strap but he aint the champion. Teo might be the babyface but he aint the good guy. Muru is just lost in this entire fucking shit pile of a clusterfuck that Action Wrestling booked itsself into over the span of six damn years. Anythin dat any of them tell you this week is a fucking lie. Wheres the truth, wheres the cash -> where is anythin other than miserable failure. They all want tah politico tah get sumwhere but got no idea where they even goin.
So lets start right fuiggin’ there, right fuggin’ now. Aint none of them got direction. Aint none of them hard for it. Like Ol’ Z said, they aint the champs cuz they got the straps. The world champ is right here. Ol’ Dirty gonna murk them all like in Alabama like this was 1950. Burnin shit down. Nillas lookin at the roof of the church. Preach tellin you the truth N it hurts.
All these fools be lookin goofy at the man thinkin little barbs n jabs gone chink that armor. They been doin it fah years. Teo made that fallen Gawd joke like aint the world know heard it before. Heres the problem: Ol’ Dirty is right here. Where the world champs, not here. Out in a bar scene. Out bein a lame babyface with nothing to overcome because he is lazy and unmotivated.
Brilliant. Fuckin’ stunnin’.
Muru’s got nothin going on cuz homeboy is in over his head and this is what you get. Now it’s on us? Now it’s on Balfore to prove that he’s champ material when he’s been the ONLY champ ever in this company who knows how to rock the shit and not get butt hurt and fuck off when one bounce don’t go they way - yah ight. Go ask Teo sum enlightening questions like what he meant about Gold Changin dudes.
Homeboy cant change his gimmick, let alone carry a company or have any meaningful development. Heres the thing, this shit right there, six years of bankrolls and belts and pushin dudes up the card. Makin everybody on the roster. That's the fuckin rub. That's the development. Shit aint sittin in back, makin a podcast cuz you got the belt that time forgot. A legacy unmatched. No matter who says differently. No master how many paper champions you get - if’n you even get anymore. Five weeks Odin been tellin you he’s the fuckin man and then they got cold feet n fucked it up.
You don’t need cold feet, you need calloused hands. You need the bruising on the knucks. You need the only guy that's got the dirty within him. That Prime Odin. Karma is a Gawd and right now you see’in what Action Wrestlin been selling.
Six gawd damn years of wolf tickets. Ya’ll sit there and you don’t even see what a real-world champion is anymore. What that shit meant anymore. Ya’ll just want fuckin sponsors and rev, until that shit pulls out. Until Teo cant sell condoms to P-Diddy and you see that all that smile and charm is a fucking mask cuz homeboy aint ver sold shit. Aint nobody every paid tah see him.
Everything that man has in his career is cuz of Ol’ Z N The Green Ranger aint about to stand here and let that shit happen like Teo’s is self-made in righteousness. He was the foil to the best shit talker in this industry cuz he can’t talk. All he can do is smile N smirk and say ‘thank you’ out his asshole. Ya’ll act like you owe him the world for existing in the fuckin void but when dudes put the fuckin work in - they got to wait in line.
Let Ol’ Z tell you that was a long line of mistake after mistake. NOw you get to correct it the right way with a legend in this industry. Been everywhere - been all over the world - N not just in some shit hole in Reading, PA. When the big man rolled in he had to prove his worth cuz that's how shits done.
Now, you spend three K, get halfway trained, call yourself the legend or the princess of hardcore or whatever-the-fuck and suddenly you want to main event EVO-six or Havok? Ol’ Z smokes crack for a livin N even he aint smokin that much shit to believe any of that.
Aint no handouts. Aint no freebies. It's smash N grab. Take that shit N you run with that shit.
When you build a product, make sure you got stars that know the fucking product.
Torture fuckin’ forgot that shit cuz I gave him the Antonio Brown Special.
Then Pasta gave AW the Tony Khan Special.
Now here’s Odin bein the Last Avenger, that Final fucking boss cuz that's what Action Wrestling needs and you got the leakin’ cunt of a question to ask him if he’s ready. He’s the only one ready.
Odin speaks up, putting his hand on ZMACs shoulder.
Odin: This will be the most important few hundred words in the entire history of AW. Ya’ll don’t need me to tell you about Ragnarok, or beatin somebody's ass. All of that is a given. There are inferior men in this match masquerading as champions, wanna-be champions and sloppy-second saviors. Everything that I need to say, I have already said, now it’s about getting the work done and moving this company forward. Teo doesn't inspire bravery. Gerard only inspires Hollywood rapists. All three in this match are low-hanging fruit who are too far beyond both their station and power to bring this company into 2025. I do not need to convince anybody that the direction the company went has been awful. Doc Holiday broke my arm and the rest you’re experiencing right now.
I don’t need any impactful words. I don’t need any hard punches. Just the truth. Just the facts. It went from Downfall to Angelo and back and forth. You don’t hot potato the world title and yet it seems like everyone is on a keto diet. Blast is where i came into all this collective madness and Blast will be where I rescue the company from it.
If Teo, Gerard and Muru are too ignorant or foolish to realize that them holding the belt is death - then they shouldn't be in this business, period. Muru couldn't even show for a tag match and probably won’t show for the event. Good. One less headache I gotta deal with. Neither Gerard or Teo have learned marketable shoot skills. I’m glad that they’re gonna sing songs together and find the Heart of The Cards or whatever Teo’s on about and Gerard - if he didn't want to be in this mess then he didn't have to cash in but yet again - more proof that he’s a paper champion. Transitional at best and ineffectual at worst.
When they have to run on their merit, they have nothing of substance to show for that. I’ve been saying it for years; now you all see that. Things will be made right at Blast
OR
None of us will have a job much longer.
Karma is a Gawd like that.
And so am I.