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Post by Claire Hawkins on Jun 2, 2019 22:45:56 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2019 1:26:08 GMT -5
Your attack was on point. I think your biggest strength was not how you sidestep an obstacle before dealing with Daddy Wesley, but that dealt with our match like a ladder you had to climb - and not by your choice. It worked quite well for the brevity of the medium too.
Points to consider: Work towards more of her voice in how you pump up Claire's side of the fight. Some bits of dialogue could have had more agency on her part. Particularly, there was a line about "...you're running away, Hippo (not sic)" that could have been more about the fact you have the pedigree to keep UCI going, while he's a specter of its dying past. Be more in the moment too, but those are super nick picks. Anything to help maximize content w/o wasting that precious word cap.
All in all, you did a great job with the constraints and fielded a vicious counter punch. Well done.
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Post by Claire Hawkins on Jun 9, 2019 16:06:29 GMT -5
Even Dreams End.Word COunt: 1,000Though I managed to reach cap, it was incredibly difficult for me to do so. Maybe I'm just being hard on myself, but I feel like this wasn't comparible to the ones that came before. IDK. I'm too tired and it's been a good run. lol
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 9, 2019 16:29:07 GMT -5
You’ve done great. I’ll get into more depth a little later on when I’ve got time.
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 9, 2019 17:47:25 GMT -5
I think you’re one of the few that knows your character, when I see a Claire Hawkins RP, I know it’s Claire Hawkins.
Your only Achilles' heel is the 1000 word cap and finding that right mix for Scene Description, Character Development, Shoot, & Flow. The 1000 word cap doesn’t necessarily mean that you always have to reach the 1000 words all the time. Consider the word count a luxury as you would writing a 4K RP.
That’s why I envy people in the Television & Cruiserweights division, you people kick ass. I’ve tried lower word counts and it kicks my ass every time. A standard Shadow RP is close to 500-750-1000 Scene Description Character Development sometimes before I even say one word. lol
I try to stay even 50/50 between Scene Description, Character Development, Shoot. All 3 are key to flow. But with a low word count sacrifices have to be made somewhere within your role-play.
If you’re sacrificing Scene Description and Character Development then it should go more into your shoot. I’ve seen your shoot have a vicious edge and I’ve seen your shoot come off as somewhat docile at times. You’re close to finding that good place of consistency right in the middle.
Somewhere between:
60% Shoot to 40% Scene Description and Character Development 70% Shoot to 30% Scene Description and Character Development
or you might lose too much of your overall character with the lower word count.
Overall, from how you see your character, you seem to know what you want to work on character wise. Stay Confident. Don’t Be Too Overly Critical Of Your Work. Tinker With What You Feel Needs Tinkering.
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Post by Claire Hawkins on Jun 9, 2019 23:28:29 GMT -5
I really can't imagine a shadowlove RP in either of these caps. It just wouldn't be the same.
However, it is definitely a challenge trying to get things to work. Ever since Havoc I have been trying to weave the Scene Development, Character Development, and Shoot together. For instance, the entire thing with the table and pseudo trophies was my attempt at weaving the CD and SD together. While on the other hand, I tried weaving the CD and shoot together through subtle gestures and by putting emphasis on certain words that I felt were important.
Has it worked?
Maybe, but it has only been really tested against two others before now. So we'll see what happens lol
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 9, 2019 23:50:53 GMT -5
I really can't imagine a shadowlove RP in either of these caps. It just wouldn't be the same. However, it is definitely a challenge trying to get things to work. Ever since Havoc I have been trying to weave the Scene Development, Character Development, and Shoot together. For instance, the entire thing with the table and pseudo trophies was my attempt at weaving the CD and SD together. While on the other hand, I tried weaving the CD and shoot together through subtle gestures and by putting emphasis on certain words that I felt were important. Has it worked? Maybe, but it has only been really tested against two others before now. So we'll see what happens lol The more repetition that you have, the easier it will become. Just don’t be afraid to try something that you haven’t tried before. I know I’ve tried a lot of stuff with Shadow & Miyamoto, sometimes it works and sometimes it don’t. You won’t know until you try. That’s part of the learning process.
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