Cage Match
Roddy Zalez vs. Damian Kaine
CruiserClash fades into a wide shot of the steel cage being lowered into place. The camera cuts to the commentary booth in the meantime.
Jimmy Garcia: Welcome back to CruiserClash, live from the Mountain Dew Arena in Jennerstown, Pennsylvania!Katta Pult: This crowd has been on their feet all night! And I don’t see it stopping for this next match!Jimmy Garcia: No, I don’t think it will! Next up is the third in a series of matches between AW newcomer Roddy Zalez and veteran Damian Kaine, and this time, folks, outside interference will be extremely difficult, as new General Manager JJ Biggs has made this match a STEEL CAGE MATCH!As if on cue, the 20 feet tall structure locks into place.
Katta Pult: No disqualifications in this match, however. Theoretically, Doc Knockem could get involved yet again. He’d just have some obstacles…Ethan Miller stands from his chair at ringside.
Ethan Miller: The following contest is a steel cage match! The only ways to win are pinfall, submission, or by escaping the cage, with both feet touching the floor on the outside!
The crowd goes crazy in anticipation!
Ethan Miller: Introducing first, much to your
The lights in the arena go out, and “Happy Endings” by Mike Shinoda, Iann Dior, and UPSAHL blasts through the PA. A single spotlight hits the stage, showcasing Roddy Zalez with his arms spread, basking in the heavy boos of the fans with a smirk on his face. He makes his way down the ramp, nose upturned as he ignores the fans trying to touch him. Zalez climbs the steps and walks through the open cage door.
Ethan Miller: Hailing from the Palace of Paradise in St. Petersburg, Florida. Weighing in tonight at a STUNNING 197 pounds, he is THE Young Dynasty, Roddy… Zalez!
Roddy hops onto the nearest turnbuckle, extending his arms again. His chiseled physique peeks through his vest, but that doesn’t sway the crowd at all, as they almost completely drown out Shinoda in boos. Roddy just chuckles, hopping down and taking his vest off. He tosses the vest over the cage and settles in his corner as the music fades.
Almost instantly, Starset’s “Carnivore” fills the Mountain Dew Arena. Damian Kaine steps onto the stage, flanked by his mentor Sebastian Reid. He’s rocking his red and black tights and signature Guardians Tee, but he also has a bandage on his head. He looks around the arena, slightly smiling as the fans cheer, but he just walks down the ramp.
Jimmy Garcia: Kaine isn’t his usual, happy go lucky self tonight. He seems like a man on a mission.Ethan Miller: AND HIS OPPONENT! From Statesboro, Georgia. Weighing in at 196 pounds, he is DAMIAN KAINE!!!
Kaine stops at the bottom of the ramp and looks up at the cage. Without any more hesitation, he begins climbing up the cage. He stops at the top, looking out among the Jennerstown crowd, then begins to climb down.
As DK climbs, Sebastian goes over to the announce table.
Jimmy Garcia: Looks like we’re going to have company for this one!Sebastian pulls up a steel chair and sets it next to Jimmy, reaching for a third headset that was just never removed after Biggs got fired.
Sebastian Reid: Hope this isn’t an issue! Good to see ya again, Jimmy!Jimmy Garcia: Of course not, old friend! Welcome to the table!Sebastian Reid: Thank you! I figured I would come join an old friend, since Damian made me promise to stay out of the match without reason.Jimmy Garcia: Well, it’ll be nice to have a competent broadcast partner again.DING DING DING!
Katta Pult: I HATE TO INTERRUPT THIS BROMANTIC REUNION BUT ZALEZ JUST JUMPED DK! Before he could even get down from the cage!Kaine falls to the mat hard, and Zalez immediately lays a collection of stiff boots into his ribcage.
Satisfied with his work, Zalez takes a break from laying into his opponent. He looks out to the crowd, a smirk on his face.
Jimmy Garcia: Come on, this isn’t right. The match hadn’t even started yet!Katta Pult: It’s like I said before the match, Jimmy. This is no DQ. Anything goes. Zalez saw an opportunity and he took it. I’d do the same thing.Jimmy Garcia: Yeah, we know.Back in the ring, Roddy is pulling DK to his feet, and DK responds with two shots to the abdomen, before Zalez knees him in the stomach. He grabs Kaines arm.
Jimmy Garcia: Swinging neckbreaker from Zalez! Roddy Zalez now going for the early win!Zalez has begun to climb the cage!
He’s made it above the top rope, his hands almost to the support beams up top, when Kaine finally gets to his feet behind him. He approaches his opponent from behind and grabs his leg!
Roddy tries his best to kick DK off, but he stays on, and with a swift yank, Roddy loses his grip on the cage and falls, his legs straddling the top rope!
Katta Pult: Oooh! I’m not even a guy and I know that’s gotta hurt!Sebastian Reid: Well, I AM a guy, and I’ve been in that same predicament, so I can tell you: that DOES hurt.DK wastes no time: he darts to the ropes, and shoots back with a dropkick to Zalez, sending him hard into the cage. He awkwardly falls between the cage and the ropes, before rolling back in.
Damian takes a second to catch his breath, then walks towards Roddy and drags him to the center of the ring, before laying a flurry of fists into Zalez.
DK then stands back up, delivers a stomp to Zalez’s stomach, then he turns to the door. He pauses for a moment, looking between the door and Roddy.
DK makes up his mind and goes to lift Roddy…
Katta Pult: RODDY ZALEZ WITH THE ROLL UP! HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM THE WHOLE TIME!One!
Quick kick out by DK, and both men are back to their feet in no time! Roddy dashes at Kaine, but Kaine with an arm drag sends Roddy halfway across the ring.
Roddy is quick to his feet again as Damian rushes towards him, and he returns the arm drag, sending DK flying.
Kaine back to his feet, and both men stare each other down.
Jimmy Garcia: Both of these men are so fast in the ring, this one is going to be a close call, folks.Sebastian Reid: Two outstanding athletes right there, Jimmy. My vote to win is obvious but even I have to say that we can’t count out Zalez!The two men lock up in the center of the ring, with Roddy getting the upoerhand. He sends Damian to the mat with a textbook headlock takeover, and just wrenches the hold. The inside referee goes to check on Damian.
Damian pushes Zalez off, but Zalez rakes Damian’s eyes and gets to his feet. He showboats for a moment before picking Damian up and sending him face first into the cage wall!
Then the next wall!
Then the next!
Katta Pult: Zalez planning on permanently disfiguring Kaine’s face here tonight! He’s now sent him head first into all four cage walls!After the last wall, Zalez lets Kaine go, and Kaine falls to the mat. Roddy eyeballs his fallen opposition, and an idea comes to his head.
He kneels down beside Kaine’s head and rips off the bandage. He fumbles for a moment to get it off his fingers, but eventually manages to get it out of the ring, a look of disgust on his face. He begins delivering several closed fist punches to Damian until the wound is reopened and a trickle of blood leaks from DK’s head.
Roddy gets to his feet, leaving Damian flat on the mat. He walks to the ropes and begins climbing the cage.
Jimmy Garcia: It looks like Zalez is about to win this!Zalez is halfway up the cage!
Katta Pult: Roddy Zalez is about to prove once and for all that Damian Kaine’s Evolution win was nothing but a fluke!Roddy finally reaches the top! He puts one leg over!
Sebastian Reid: WAIT!Just as Zalez goes to pull the second leg over, Damian Kaine has hold of his ankle!
Jimmy Garcia: Yes! DK is up!!Katta Pult: Way to be impartial, Jimmy!Zalez tries to kick Kaine down, but Kaine climbs up, keeping his hold on the ankle.
Katta Pult: Both men at the top now! Only one of them can be victorious tonight!Roddy and Damian trade heavy blows atop the cage.
Right,
Left,
Jab,
Jab!
Just when it looks like Kaine is going to get the upper hand, Roddy rakes his eyes yet again!
He grabs Kaine’s hair, and with one swift motion, he throws Kaine twenty feet down to the mat.
Jimmy Garcia: OH MY GOD!Kaine hits the ground hard, and begins to writhe in pain.
Roddy looks down at Kaine, then out the crowd.
Sebastian Reid: This son of a bitch, he did it!Katta Pult: There is no way Kaine can stop Roddy this time! It’s over!Roddy looks down at Kaine again and smiles.
He pulls his left leg up…
Jimmy Garcia: Wait, what is he doing?Instead of trying to win, Roddy is balancing on the support beams, rising to his feet!
Jimmy Garcia: NO!Katta Pult: JUST CLIMB DOWN, DAMMIT!Roddy looks down at DK once again, and spreads his arms out wide.
Then? He leaps, executing a picture perfect mid-air backflip…
Only to crash hard into the mat.
Jimmy Garcia: JesusSebastian Reid: FuckingKatta Pult: Christ!Both men are on their backs in the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Roddy Zalez went for a Shooting Star Press off the top of the cage, and somehow, someway Damian Kaine managed to move out of the way at the very last second.Katta Pult: Roddy had this match won! All he had to do was climb down to the outside!Sebastian Reid: That’s Roddy’s problem! He has to be the star! He has to make an impact, and this time, it may have cost him both this match and his career.Damian starts to lightly stir, as does Roddy. The referee is checking on both men.
Damian uses the ropes to get to his feet. He looks back at Roddy, who is nowhere near to his feet. Then, he starts slowly making his way up the chainlink wall!
Katta Pult: Damian could actually pull this match! I don’t believe it!Jimmy Garcia: He’s obviously in a lot of pain, but if he can muscle through this, he- Wait, what’s going on??All of a sudden, the crowd erupts in a sea of boos. Dashing through the crowd is Doc Knockem, yet again carrying a six pack! He jumps the barricade and darts for the door. He knocks out the official holding it, and opens it wide, setting the six pack under the turnbuckle and reaching in for his client.
Damian notices Doc and hops down from the cage. He trudges over and grabs Roddy’s ankle again, pulling him further in.
Doc gets up on the apron, taunting DK, but DK runs and delivers a high drop kick ti Doc, sending him straight from the apron to the barricade.
Sebastian Reid: Well, I guess that’s my cue.Sebastian takes off his headset and gets to his feet, going after Doc, and sending him back first into the baricade. Sebastian shuts the door and wakes the official.
Inside the ring, Roddy is pulling himself to his feet. He holds on to the top rope to keep himself stable, then looks at the doorway.
He walks to the door, but rather than opening it, he reaches down and picks up a beer bottle from Knockem’s case!
Jimmy Garcia: Oh no… We’re looking at a repeat of last week! Zalez stalking Kaine!Kaine slowly gets to his feet and turns around!
ZALEZ SMASHES THE BEER BOTTLE INTO THE FACE OF KAINE!!
KAINE DROPS!!
ZALEZ DROPS DOWN AND COVERS HIM!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
DING DING DING
Jimmy Garcia: RODDY WINS THE CAGE MATCH!!Katta Pult: Thanks to Doc!Sebastian turns around and notices Kaine has lost but Doc throws Sebastian into the cage smashing his head into it!!
Katta Pult: OH COME ON THE MATCH IS OVER!!That's when Zalez is at the cage door motioning for Doc to bring Sebastian to the cage door.
Katta Pult: Whats happening here!
Jimmy Garcia: I don't like this at all!Zalez brings Sebastian into the ring and Doc and Zalez whip Sebastian into the cage bouncing him off and causing him to stumble forward where Doc smashes a beer bottle into the face of Sebastian!!
Jimmy Garcia: OH MY GOD!!Katta Pult: WOW!!Sebastian drops down as more officials are trying to rush down and pull the cage up. Finally the cage begins to raise into the air as Zalez and Doc grab the remaining beers.
Sebastian and Kaine are together in the middle of the ring trying to pull each other up and Zalez smashes a beer bottle into the face of Kaine for good measure just as Doc smashes a beer bottle into the face of Sebastian!!
Both men drop down like a sad sack of 'tatters in the middle of the ring. The two remaining beers are popped up by Zalez and Doc and they cheers and then begin to just pour out the beer over the near-lifeless bodies of Sebastian and Damian!
Jimmy Garcia: I can't believe this!! Come on!Katta Pult: This is a strong image, Jimmy. When this cage locked, it was Kaine and Roddy standing tall but now look.. Look at it, Jimmy. Roddy and Doc are standing over Sebastian and Kaine, and they're bloody and covered in beer!Jimmy Garcia: I hope we get help out here for Kaine and Sebastian!Officials are in the ring trying to clean up the mess and tend to Kaine and Sebastian as Roddy and Doc are embracing up the ramp drinking in the boos from the crowd.
We take a commercial break.