Thesis #7: on the Purveyance of Failure
Mar 7, 2021 12:13:19 GMT -5
Downfall, The Golden Idolo, and 1 more like this
Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2021 12:13:19 GMT -5
We cut to the Great American Revival tour bus as it roars through a rural town of Muscle Shoals, Alabama. Marv is tapping at his driver’s wheel to “Jungleland” while Agatha hovers around their employer. A stern brow keeps Mr. Abraham glued to the blue light of his laptop.
“Agatha,” he says too plainly, “there’s a point where the podiums stop and the proper daises turn you into a figure… no, a pariah.”
“Piranhas?”
He laughs. “Well, I suppose there are piranha fish across the world. That gold ole vox populi at your complete disservice. Although we dig our own canals in life—so don’t blame it on the steamboat.”
He chuckles a bit while the apocryphal goes over her head.
“I never intend to be the better creature in Action Wrestling. No, I’m more like the explorers of old aboard a vessel not unlike The Beagle. You see… if my message is to impact the faithful audience that comes day in and out of Action Wrestling, Agatha, I’ll need to put some food on the table.
When they proposed this week’s match it gave me the sense of my own Glengary Glen Ross moment. I’m not sure whom to cast—in terms of career, at least—as Alec Baldwin. I do, however, know that no one in this match is receiving a 2nd place set of steak knives.
What I mean is that if our message is to survive, Agatha, we must win in Action Wrestling. What better place than atop two bodies already set for deletion. Oh yes, we had a chance to face Jeffery Cuddle Trousers week-one.”
”Oh yes, I remember him. The funny fella with the golden mask.”
Mr. Abraham shakes his head.
”Agatha… let’s be bigger than that. We aren’t about to sacrifice our principles just to win a match. No sir! We are setting the table for the Great American Revival this week. And I will continue to leave a chair open until Bathory understands that he cannot survive as an orator without help—specifically, mine. That’s besides the case.
Jeffery Cuddletrousers had the initial pop of champaign, only for this fan base to realize he’s no more excitement nor advancement of wrestling than flash paper. You see… people like us try to motivate fans to better themselves through experience or osmosis via omnipresence.”
She blinks a few times.
”Right… what I intend to show this crowd is that neither Jeffery nor this other lack of highlight, pomp or circumstance, Christos, can change the course of history. AW needs my vision whether they want to take the pill or not. Although it also means that like any medicine, I must vaccinate them from what ails us while eliminating—well I illuminate something better for Action Wrestling. Then, and only then, can I hope to bring Mr. Bathory back to our table.
Now please, give me some space. I have to do so more thinking, dearest.”
Agatha smiles as she goes up front to join Marv’s ‘70s jamboree. Mr. Abraham slides through the match footage of his opponents before landing on his only Spotify playlist: “Chopin Hits”.
”Oh Byron… I will bring you to the light. There’s more sins to be devoured yet, my young friend. My tutelage knows no boundaries. No moment of grace unspoken nor unobserved. I want to help you. Now if you will only let me… then the true work of fellowship can begin.”
“Agatha,” he says too plainly, “there’s a point where the podiums stop and the proper daises turn you into a figure… no, a pariah.”
“Piranhas?”
He laughs. “Well, I suppose there are piranha fish across the world. That gold ole vox populi at your complete disservice. Although we dig our own canals in life—so don’t blame it on the steamboat.”
He chuckles a bit while the apocryphal goes over her head.
“I never intend to be the better creature in Action Wrestling. No, I’m more like the explorers of old aboard a vessel not unlike The Beagle. You see… if my message is to impact the faithful audience that comes day in and out of Action Wrestling, Agatha, I’ll need to put some food on the table.
When they proposed this week’s match it gave me the sense of my own Glengary Glen Ross moment. I’m not sure whom to cast—in terms of career, at least—as Alec Baldwin. I do, however, know that no one in this match is receiving a 2nd place set of steak knives.
What I mean is that if our message is to survive, Agatha, we must win in Action Wrestling. What better place than atop two bodies already set for deletion. Oh yes, we had a chance to face Jeffery Cuddle Trousers week-one.”
”Oh yes, I remember him. The funny fella with the golden mask.”
Mr. Abraham shakes his head.
”Agatha… let’s be bigger than that. We aren’t about to sacrifice our principles just to win a match. No sir! We are setting the table for the Great American Revival this week. And I will continue to leave a chair open until Bathory understands that he cannot survive as an orator without help—specifically, mine. That’s besides the case.
Jeffery Cuddletrousers had the initial pop of champaign, only for this fan base to realize he’s no more excitement nor advancement of wrestling than flash paper. You see… people like us try to motivate fans to better themselves through experience or osmosis via omnipresence.”
She blinks a few times.
”Right… what I intend to show this crowd is that neither Jeffery nor this other lack of highlight, pomp or circumstance, Christos, can change the course of history. AW needs my vision whether they want to take the pill or not. Although it also means that like any medicine, I must vaccinate them from what ails us while eliminating—well I illuminate something better for Action Wrestling. Then, and only then, can I hope to bring Mr. Bathory back to our table.
Now please, give me some space. I have to do so more thinking, dearest.”
Agatha smiles as she goes up front to join Marv’s ‘70s jamboree. Mr. Abraham slides through the match footage of his opponents before landing on his only Spotify playlist: “Chopin Hits”.
”Oh Byron… I will bring you to the light. There’s more sins to be devoured yet, my young friend. My tutelage knows no boundaries. No moment of grace unspoken nor unobserved. I want to help you. Now if you will only let me… then the true work of fellowship can begin.”