FIVE REASONS SARA PETTIS WON’T BE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!
Feb 14, 2021 16:15:15 GMT -5
Lissie Hope, Flop, and 2 more like this
Post by Ned the Intern on Feb 14, 2021 16:15:15 GMT -5
Our adventure begins with Sara Pettis sitting in a waiting room. She is the only soul in the room, aside from the receptionist sitting behind his counter. Yeah, his. Men can be receptionists, too. Get woke, scrubs. She gets up and goes to the counter and sees that the name plaque says “Marty Johnston”. "Hello, Marty. Is there any update on when I’ll be seen?" Without making eye contact, he continues to type away on his computer. "Hey! This is kind of important. I checked in early, and I’ve been sitting… waiting… somewhat patiently… and---" "You’ll be seen… when you’re seen." Sara sighs and goes back to her seat, swiping open her phone to browse around. She opens up an article that immediately caught her attention. FIVE REASONS SARA PETTIS WON’T BE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION! 2. Void is the hottest rising star on CruiserClash and his opportunity was stolen by Sara Pettis. Cheaters never prosper in Action Wrestling! 3. Regan Voorhees should be in the position to challenge for the gold. Old, crusty, sad Sara Pettis is hogging a spot deserving of fresh, young talent. 4. Nobody in the world wants to see Sara Pettis as Cruiserweight Champion. 5. Spayde Martinez is Cruiserweight Champion, and she is basically unbeatable. She shakes her head at how fucking stupid wrestling journalists are these days. Instead of ignoring the troll, she clicks on the comment section and unloads her frustration on the basement dweller. That had to be the worst list EVER, and I once read 100 Reasons to Buy Two-Ply Toilet Paper. I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you… but you should realize that my rise to the top of CruiserClash is written in the stars. I have been as unbeatable as anyone, including Spayde. The difference is... I don't cheat to win. My heart is my secret weapon... and that bitch has no heart. While I have my weaknesses... remember that we ALL do. Bottom to top of this business. We all have our flaws… and nobody has studied them more than yours truly. Take for instance this upcoming episode of CruiserClash. The main event is a star-studded match seeing Spayde and Regan team up against Void and… yours truly. Both number one contenders are taking on the champion and arguably the next in line after us. Spayde has a target on her back and she is more paranoid than ever. She probably doesn't even trust Regan in this one. I believe deep-down that I can trust Void in this match. He has a reputation to protect, same as I do. We are fated to have a showdown. For now, we are partners and we will be a cohesive unit. If things go south, I'll fight alone... like always. I'm a one-woman-army. I have no problem taking Regan out… again. She's got a long way to go before she reaches the prestige of yours truly. I wonder how many times she has to lose to me or Void... before she learns her lesson. And Spayde… she needs to stop trying to be an alpha and go make a fuckin’ sandwich! Her meth-brain can’t handle the 4D chess I’m going to play with her over the next few weeks! I will be Cruiserweight Champion. Very soon. Get your pea-brain used to the idea. And maybe do a better list next time. In a few months... you'll be writing FIVE REASONS WHY VOID VS SARA PETTIS SHOULD MAIN EVENT EVOLUTION! That will be your big break, kid. You're welcome. I will be the incoming champion, and Void will be the challenger. Spayde will be long-forgotten by then... and Regan will still not have long enough arms to box with this goddess. The Road to Evolution starts next week. Void and yours truly are ready for our fate. Hopefully Regan and Spayde will be accept theirs. "Ms. Pettis…" Sara looks up from her phone. "Dr. Royce will see you now." Das ende. |