Juggalo TV Episode Three {#003}
Jan 1, 2021 22:54:00 GMT -5
Jordan, CJ Phoenix, and 2 more like this
Post by Twiztid Insane on Jan 1, 2021 22:54:00 GMT -5
"GATHER ROUND JUGGALOS AND JUGGALETTES FOR THE GREATEST SHOW IN TOWN! This right here is the third episode, and also the return episode of Juggalo TV... prepare yourselves for one of, if not, the greatest internet talk shows that you will ever witness... and now... please allow me to introduce to you, your Ringmaster... TWIZTID... IN... SANEEEEEE!"
As the introduction finishes cameras fade in to a makeshift news room where we can see a man sat in an office chair, the man spins around to show us that it is indeed the Juggalo face painted, suit wearing, backyard legend himself, Twiztid Insane.
Twiztid Insane: Whoop Whoop Muthafuckos and Muthafuckettes, man it feels good to be back here doin' this show for all my homies out there! Now a couple things to get outta the way, we got ourselves our first sponsor for the show!
We can hear a definitely pre-recorded applause and cheer come from the "live studio audience".
Twiztid Insane: That's right! Now, our first sponsor is none other than... how the fuck am I supposed to say this?
The camera pan's to a producer, who just shrugs, before the camera pans back to Twiztid
Twiztid Insane: It's... it's literally a backwards D! What do I say here? Do I say it like eeD? Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's "El D's Mexican Wrestling Gear Emporium"!
The scene fades to D, wearing a fake moustache and speaking in a horrible mexican accent, standing in front of a poorly done greenscreen of a wearhouse.
"El D": ¡Hola Compadre! Mi nombre es El D, ¡y bienvenido a mi emporio de equipos de lucha libre! Now, my friends, I have a special offer for you tonight! Now, do you look like you belong in the backstreets, boy? Maybe you're getting booed out of arenas because you're not NSYNC with everything else going on? Well I got the best news for you! At "El D's Wrestling Gear Emporium" you can get you the gear to make all your haters go Bye, Bye, Bye! Now, back to you in the studio Charli- I mean, man I never met before this advert aired.
As the camera pans back to Twiztid, we can see he's just laughing his ass off, before calming himself down, wiping the tear out of his eye, and turning towards the camera.
Twiztid Insane: Jesus Christ... thank you for that D- I mean, El D. Now, it's time for a new segment here, I like to call it "Talk Shit, Get Hit". Now the subject for this episode is actually my opponent for the next Action Wrestling show, one "Steven Christopher". Is it a bad thing that I've never heard of this dude before I got booked against him? I mean, the dude is saying that...
Twiztid picks up a piece of paper from the news desk in front of him and puts on some fake glasses, reading it out loud.
Twiztid Insane: ...according to this information sheet here, it's saying he's from Amherst, so that'll probably be why I've never heard of... "Steven Christopher". What I DO know is that he's just some rich boy, had all the thing he could ever dream of in his life, handed to him by his Mommy and Daddy. Fuck me, talk about someone who can't do shit by themselves. So here's what I'm saying, Steven, go fuck yourself, you're about to get ya ass kicked by a thirty year old Juggalo, a fucking Juggalo, of all things. Damn son, this is a fate worse than death for you and your wrestling "career", and this fight will be one that ya Mommy and Daddy can't buy your way out of, cause imma go into this match and stomp ya face into the mat, ruin your "pretty boy" aesthetic, and get the W and keep my hype train going. I've had no losses yet in my career in Action Wrestling here so far, and I don't intend to start with a loss to you. So you can talk all the shit you want homie, but I am tellin' ya now... you're gonna get the fuckin' taste slapped out of ya mouth. Prepare for that.
Twiztid then changes from a super dead serious expression, to a smile, before continuing on with the show.
Twiztid Insane: Woo, anyway, moving on from that... damn man... that shit felt like a whole different person coming out of me there. Where was I.... oh! That's right! We here at Juggalo TV managed to score another interview with the man behind the facepaint... The REAL Ringleader of this Dark Carnival... CHARLIE... EVANS!
The "live studio audience" cheers loudly as the screen cuts into two, with Twiztid in the studio, and Charlie "live in his home in Detroit".
Twiztid Insane: Charlie, my brotha! How're you doing homie?
Charlie Evans: I'm doin' good homie, thanks for havin' me on the show again!
Twiztid Insane: Anytime homie, so, I got a question for you here. What are your thoughts going into this match with Steven Christopher, and do you think you'll be able to keep up with the younger talent in Action Wrestling?
Charlie Evans: That's a good question homie, and seeing as we're running out of time imma keep it short and sweet. My thoughts are this. Steven ain't prepared for this match. He just thinks this'll be an easy win for him, but it's going to be the exact opposite... and if I can't keep up with the younger talent, then what's the point of me even coming back to it?
Twiztid Insane: Thanks for that Charlie, sorry we didn't have more time to talk, because as you said we've run out of time here homies! Make sure you watch Monday Night Clash to watch me smack this bitch around. WHOOP WHOOP!
And with those words, the cameras in the studio fade to black, with the JTV logo being the last thing you see.
As the introduction finishes cameras fade in to a makeshift news room where we can see a man sat in an office chair, the man spins around to show us that it is indeed the Juggalo face painted, suit wearing, backyard legend himself, Twiztid Insane.
Twiztid Insane: Whoop Whoop Muthafuckos and Muthafuckettes, man it feels good to be back here doin' this show for all my homies out there! Now a couple things to get outta the way, we got ourselves our first sponsor for the show!
We can hear a definitely pre-recorded applause and cheer come from the "live studio audience".
Twiztid Insane: That's right! Now, our first sponsor is none other than... how the fuck am I supposed to say this?
The camera pan's to a producer, who just shrugs, before the camera pans back to Twiztid
Twiztid Insane: It's... it's literally a backwards D! What do I say here? Do I say it like eeD? Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's "El D's Mexican Wrestling Gear Emporium"!
The scene fades to D, wearing a fake moustache and speaking in a horrible mexican accent, standing in front of a poorly done greenscreen of a wearhouse.
"El D": ¡Hola Compadre! Mi nombre es El D, ¡y bienvenido a mi emporio de equipos de lucha libre! Now, my friends, I have a special offer for you tonight! Now, do you look like you belong in the backstreets, boy? Maybe you're getting booed out of arenas because you're not NSYNC with everything else going on? Well I got the best news for you! At "El D's Wrestling Gear Emporium" you can get you the gear to make all your haters go Bye, Bye, Bye! Now, back to you in the studio Charli- I mean, man I never met before this advert aired.
As the camera pans back to Twiztid, we can see he's just laughing his ass off, before calming himself down, wiping the tear out of his eye, and turning towards the camera.
Twiztid Insane: Jesus Christ... thank you for that D- I mean, El D. Now, it's time for a new segment here, I like to call it "Talk Shit, Get Hit". Now the subject for this episode is actually my opponent for the next Action Wrestling show, one "Steven Christopher". Is it a bad thing that I've never heard of this dude before I got booked against him? I mean, the dude is saying that...
Twiztid picks up a piece of paper from the news desk in front of him and puts on some fake glasses, reading it out loud.
Twiztid Insane: ...according to this information sheet here, it's saying he's from Amherst, so that'll probably be why I've never heard of... "Steven Christopher". What I DO know is that he's just some rich boy, had all the thing he could ever dream of in his life, handed to him by his Mommy and Daddy. Fuck me, talk about someone who can't do shit by themselves. So here's what I'm saying, Steven, go fuck yourself, you're about to get ya ass kicked by a thirty year old Juggalo, a fucking Juggalo, of all things. Damn son, this is a fate worse than death for you and your wrestling "career", and this fight will be one that ya Mommy and Daddy can't buy your way out of, cause imma go into this match and stomp ya face into the mat, ruin your "pretty boy" aesthetic, and get the W and keep my hype train going. I've had no losses yet in my career in Action Wrestling here so far, and I don't intend to start with a loss to you. So you can talk all the shit you want homie, but I am tellin' ya now... you're gonna get the fuckin' taste slapped out of ya mouth. Prepare for that.
Twiztid then changes from a super dead serious expression, to a smile, before continuing on with the show.
Twiztid Insane: Woo, anyway, moving on from that... damn man... that shit felt like a whole different person coming out of me there. Where was I.... oh! That's right! We here at Juggalo TV managed to score another interview with the man behind the facepaint... The REAL Ringleader of this Dark Carnival... CHARLIE... EVANS!
The "live studio audience" cheers loudly as the screen cuts into two, with Twiztid in the studio, and Charlie "live in his home in Detroit".
Twiztid Insane: Charlie, my brotha! How're you doing homie?
Charlie Evans: I'm doin' good homie, thanks for havin' me on the show again!
Twiztid Insane: Anytime homie, so, I got a question for you here. What are your thoughts going into this match with Steven Christopher, and do you think you'll be able to keep up with the younger talent in Action Wrestling?
Charlie Evans: That's a good question homie, and seeing as we're running out of time imma keep it short and sweet. My thoughts are this. Steven ain't prepared for this match. He just thinks this'll be an easy win for him, but it's going to be the exact opposite... and if I can't keep up with the younger talent, then what's the point of me even coming back to it?
Twiztid Insane: Thanks for that Charlie, sorry we didn't have more time to talk, because as you said we've run out of time here homies! Make sure you watch Monday Night Clash to watch me smack this bitch around. WHOOP WHOOP!
And with those words, the cameras in the studio fade to black, with the JTV logo being the last thing you see.