Post by lazerjohnson on Dec 28, 2020 19:27:31 GMT -5
Lazer Johnson vs. Downfall
Old Town, Maine. 9am
In the back woods near old town was a rusted through RV. Flat tires, chipped paint. Nearly swallowed by the earth. Inside the stiff cracking of bone can be heard. We see what our heros sees. Hoarded stacks of news papers, trade magazines and pamphlets. The floor is weak. Take out plates and dirty crockery everywhere. A vanity off to the right, out of place and too big for its home. Spotless. Clippings and pictures stuck in the frame. A Nokia 3310 chirps with fading life.
You have 35 new messages
Message 1. "lazer, this is keith. you owe us 10 grand"
Message marked for deletion
Message 2. "lazer, this is keith. you owe us 25 grand"
Message marked for deletion
Message 3. "lazer, this is keith. you owe us 40 grand"
Click
Our hero gets out of bed, hobbling to the small fridge packed behind trash. Peeling the door away pur hero squeezes out a quart of expire milk and drinks down the chunks.
Pants.
Hoodie
Slides
Car keys
A 94 jeep wrangler awaits although its condition is no better off.
A broken man. A broken life.
POV, a PO box. The hand of our hero reaches in before shutting it.
Flash forward to our hero arriving home. Huddled over the vanity, ripping at mail. Eyes scanning the paper. Eyes wide.
The grinding of tire on dirt and gravel can be heard.
Two men burst in. They scuffle with our hero who struggles and falls to the ground. Our hero is being choked as his head slams holes into the floor. His searches around. It find a fork.
The fork finds a forehead.
Gouging and ripping the attack recoils. Banging into the other.
Our hero picks up a make shift Persian club buried behind trash. The men stumble out of the RV.
Wild screams. A hero undone. He doesnt stop. Not until hes safe. Our hero throws the bat down, panting and wrenching with emotion.
"Nice job" slithers a voice from behind as the bat echoes through the trees one last time.
It's the extreme aerialist Jaice Wilds. In the dirt. Big egg on his face. The pain is visible as he cradles his jaw.
"We're from action wrestling. We came to offer you a tv title shot."
Our hero drops the bat.
"TV title shot?" He asks, out of breath. " I dont even own a tv. I got plenty of tv guide though. You wanna read the synopsis of Climb an Angry Mountain; comes on at eight."
"Wrestling. Wres-a-ling. Do you want to wrestle?"
"Me? Wrestle?"
"Adam Dante said you're a good hand."
Our hero looks up with disbelief.
"He said that?"
"I'm sure he did. Or something to that affect."
"Wow. A good hand." Lazer marvels.
Our hero's mood changes to that of a child at Christmas.
"You'll just be jobbing to downfall but it pays well. Sorta."
“Wow, ol’ Blazer back on TV. All the little Lazer Blazers in the crowd cheering and laughin. Eyes all lit up. Cheeks red from smiling.” Our hero squats down and starts pumping his arms, moving in rhythmic fashion. “Lay-zer,Lay-zer,Lay-zer” Our hero gets lost in this moment before popping out of it. “Say,” He says with a twist. “Who was my opponent again?”
“Downfall. Truthfully we just need a job guy for TV.”
Our Heros eyes glaze over again as he wipes at the air in front of him. “Lazer Blazer, job guy for TV.” Lazer snaps out of it again and starts pacing himself in circles. “ And downfall, he’s like my hero. My idol. I read about that thing with the heart and the key. But oh-ohh-ohho-ho-ho ho. Some hearts arnt meant to open but that's OK. Aye-OK because Lazer Blazers coming in hot like the Challenger and we are going to Double Barrel.”
“I think I’m having a stroke.” pleads Jaice, writhing in pain.
“Because when Lazer Blazer, job guy on TV locks horns with the best TV Champion in this business, today - its gonna be electric, man. Boogie-ooggie-woogie.”
“Yep. There it is.” Jaices left side just melts into his chin.
“I know in my heart, thanks to Jaice Wilds, all the little Lazer Blazers out there will have a new hero as the Lazer makes his triumphant return to Action Wrestling."
Lazer stops for a moment, thinks and then pats himself down. “Oh man, I don’t have any money for a flight.”
“Wheel phy ouuww aut.” Says Jaice slowly dying for a stroke but our hero is too oblivious to notice.
“Hey man, can I borrow your car. Mine is on fumes.” Lazer pats down Jaice and finds the keys.
“Kal ahn ahmbulllance.” slurs Jaice like a dental patient but is drowned out by the starting of the car. “Kal ahn ahmbulllance.”
The car drives out of sight with jaice wilds dying in the rear view mirror.
“Time to go lightspeed bay-bay”
* epic babyface pose *