(10/30/17) Killing Floor II Dec 17, 2020 2:11:30 GMT -5
Post by Action Reel on Dec 17, 2020 2:11:30 GMT -5
We see a drone shot of our venue for the evening, Camp Crystal Lake, as the night sky is darkening.
Ki ki ki..ma ma ma!
Stadium lights shine bright over a central clearing that’s packed with energetic fans joining for the camping event/wrestling PPV.
Ki ki ki..
We see the settings for other matches set to take place during the evening as well before shooting to the announcers near ringside of the main clearing.
Ma ma ma!
Sebastian Reid: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Killing Floor live from Camp Crystal Lake!
Jimmy Garcia: Tonight we’ve got plenty in store for y-
The announcer’s are cut off as static fills the screen, a masked individual barely visible through the black and white fuzz.
TV Title Contendership
Brass Knuckle Beatdown Match
Allen Walker vs. Good Ol’ Ramblin’ Jimmy
Sebastian Reid: This is definitely going to be one of the stranger...actually no, this is one of the more normal matches of the night. Even with its almost random appearance on the card, and its inclusion of Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy, somehow this match has set itself up as one of the more straight forward bouts, and I...I don't know what to say about that.
Gravedigger: Ha, Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy. Friend of yours, Garcia?
Jimmy Garcia: Yes, because as an adult I would totally establish my friendships based on my first name...
Gravedigger: ...Shut up.
"Lolil0_0pz" by goreshit hits the PA system and out comes Good Ol' Jimmy strutting his stuff. Fans go for a high-five but Jimmy threatens them with a fist, thinking they are secret government agents coming to take him away again! He hurries into the ring and raises his fist atop the turnbuckle.
Sebastian Reid: There is the poor bastard now...it looks like he is going to try to escape through the barricade and...nope...security has grabbed Jimmy and is now explaining that he has a match...he has punched one of them in the face and the rest are talking him to the ground. Christ, who hired this guy? Isn't he homeless? Okay, now security is pushing him back into the ring...seems he's calmed down now...this is going to be something, folks.
The lights bleed blood red as "Enchanted by the Moon" by Amorphis hits the PA system. Allen Walker burst to the stage as the lead riff pumps up the crowd. Piercing lights surround the campground whenever the riff restarts. Walker holds up his two belts while smirking. He grabs the two belts by the teeth as he marches down the ramp, sneering at the crowd, and scoffing off at anyone that wants a high five, sometimes flipping them off.
Once at ringside, he takes the belts out of his mouth, just to show them off to the crowd once again, just to piss them off, though they still cheer. He goes up to the top rope and holds his two belts up once more, for added emphasis. He goes to the middle of the ring and drops his titles. He yells at the crowd to "Kneel before Len!" before his music fades to quiet, and the lighting returns to normal.
Sebastian Reid: Now, for those who don't know this is a Brass Knuckles beat Down match, which basically means that both competitors wear a pair of brass knuckles and have to basically trade punches until someone drops.
Gravedigger: SOMEONE 'BOUT TO CATCH HANDS!
The two ring attendants enter the ring, each with a pair of brass knuckles. Jimmy bites down on one of the knuckles.
Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy: THIS AIN'T CHOCOLATE! JIMMY DUN BEEN LIED TO!
The attendant helps Jimmy get the brass knuckles on his hands. The other attendant approaches Allen Walker, but the brawler shoos the attendant away before pulling out his own personal brass knuckles and slipping them on, looking more than happy to start fighting.
Taylor Lorde: The following match-up is a BRASS KNUCKLES BEAT DOWN MATCH and a number one contendership bout for the UCI TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, hailing from...er...
Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy: READ IT! OR JIMMY GON' USE THESE ROBOT GLOVES TO FIGHT YER CHILDREN!
Taylor Lorde: From 'YaDunGoofd', USA. Weighing in at 179 lbs-
Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy: THATS A LIE! JIMMY ON A DIET! JIMMY EAT ONLY WHAT HE WINS IN BATTLE, AND THOSE PIZZA DELIVERY GUYS HAVE TASERS NOW TO SHOCK POOR OLE' JIMMY!
Taylor Lorde: GOOD OLE' RAMBLIN' JIMMY!
Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy: HEY! THAT'S ME! WHO TRYNA STEAL JIMMY'S INDENTITY?! HAVE FUN WITH THAT! JIMMY IN DEBT AND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE POWER POINT!
Taylor Lorde: Introducing next, hailing from Oxford, England. Weighing in at 205 lbs, "The Bitter Champion" ALLEN WALKER!
Allen steps forward and stares down Jimmy as the crowd cheers before moving back to his corner.
Sebastian Reid: It seem Allen has literally every advantage heading into this match as Jimmy, who I am not even sure is a UCI employee, might have no idea where he is right now.
Gravedigger: See, that's bias on your part, you only say that because he was screaming he didn't know where he was backstage earlier, but I'm sure he got that cleared up.
Sebastian Reid: He tried to escape earlier.
Gravedigger: ...mind games?
The bell rings and Allen approaches his confused opponent.
Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy: GET AWAY! JIMMY KNOW JIMMY-FU!
Allen takes a swing and knocks Jimmy hard back into his own corner.
Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy: HOLY SHIT, THAT HURT! THE FIX IS IN FOR POOR OLE' JIMMY!
Allen smiles and gives Jimmy a shot to the ribs, sending the delusional individual doubling over in pain. Allen looks around and motions at his opponent with a gesture of 'really? This is the best you could get?' Allen grab's Jimmy hair and pulls him back to his feet, keeping him up against the turnbuckle. Another shot send Jimmy backwards. Jimmy goes limp.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh, brutal display from Allen. Jimmy doesn't seem to be able to defend himself.
Sebastian Reid: He doesn't seem to know how! Jimmy does NOT belong in a damn ring! He is clearly deranged! He needs psychological help, not a pair of brass knuckles and a match against someone as sadistic as Allen Walker!
Allen keeps a hand against Jimmy to keep the possibly unconscious fighter from falling to the ground and ending the match.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh, come on, Allen! He's done! Let the match end!
Gravedigger: Oh, don't be a baby, its just been a few punches so far, Jimmy might make a comeback.
Sebastian Reid: Punches with Brass Knuckles.
Gravedigger: Brass knuckles can't be THAT much harder than bone.
Jimmy Garcia: ...
Out from no where, two masked individuals jump over the guardrails. One with a Jason mask and the other with a Michael Myers mask. One is carrying a steel pipe while the other wields a metal bat. The walk up to Allen cautious, Allen keeping an eye on both of them. The one with a Jason mask swings the pipe, but Allen ducks under and knocks the man hard in the ribs with the brass knuckles, sending him stumbling backwards as the man with the Myer's mask comes in with the bat. Allen rolls out of the way, and the bat accidentally collides with Jimmy, knocking him hard to the ground. The Myers mask wearing one turns around and it met with a stiff shot to the chin. The man is sent stumbling backwards, but not before Allen grabs his mask and pulls it off. The two masked men roll out of the ring and when they stand again on the outside one of them is revealed to be Bran Butts.
Jimmy Garcia: WAIT! Thats Bran! A member of Jack Schlongson's entourage.
The Jason mask slips off the face of the other assailant, revealing Richard.
Sebastian Reid: Richard?! Why would these two be out here?!
Jimmy Garcia: Possibly to stop Allen from getting a shot at the title. Jimmy would be an easy win for Jack, so send out the goons to take out Allen!
Bran curses out Allen, but as Allen approaches ringside, the two flee back into the audience.
Allen turns back around to find Jimmy rising to his feet.
Good Ole' Ramblin' Jimmy: JIMMY HEAR THE COME BACK MUSIC! THIS IS JIMMY'S TIME TO SHINE!
Jimmy comes running forward only to be clobbered by a blow to the jaw, sending him to the mat.
Good Ole Ramblin' Jimmy: THE MUSIC DUN LIED TO JIMMY! JIMMY'S FACE HURTS!
Jimmy passes out and the referee quickly checks him, signaling for the bell.
Taylor Lorde: YOUR WINNER, AND NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE UCI TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! ALLEN WALKER!
Fishing Hook Match
Harry Diderot vs. Shadowlove
Jimmy Garcia: UCI, business is about to pick up here. As we get ready for second annual Killing Floor matchup, we first take you to the lake itself. What horrors await from its depths, and more, as we prepare a clash of opposing styles. Two names, one new and the other established, in what may prove to be the most underrated matchup of the evening.
Taylor Lorde: Get ready campers… this match is a Fishing Hook Match! The only way to win is hook your opponent’s harness and hoist them into the lake…
Gravedigger: Can we just toss them back?
Reid: I think you’ll like this one.
Digger: Do I look a dumb redneck to you?
Jimmy: UCI spares no expense. We got it all… cranes, scaffolding and an outdoor arena. As announced, the only way to defeat your opponent is to hook four, yes four, hooks from that crane. Doing so will throw them into air before dropping them back in the crystal depths.
Digger: I take it back – I say we throw him back.
Jimmy: You wish, partner.
Fans seated in outdoor bleachers erupt as concert lighting flashes blue to playing of “Big Dawg” by Waka Flocka Flame. A trio emerges from a backstage area consisting of “Hippo” Harry Diderot dress in black tights, a militant beret and orange aviator glass, his large brother Richie wearing ripped jeans, an open bowling shirt and Pharrell hat – plus their best friend, Barney Strong, on his left dressed in a dashiki with dark sunglasses. Harry also carries a table over his shoulder airbrushed with a picture of Fabio, the model, and the name “Gator” in a graffiti font.
Lorde: Making his way to the ring… accompanied by “Richie Rich” and Barney Strong… weighing in at 341 pounds… yo new daddy… Harry “the Hippo” Diderot!
Harry slides his colorful table into ring while his friends take places outside. Richie stands by while a technician engages Harry in the ring with his harness. Barney Strong takes a seat beside Gravedigger to a small pop, where technicians get him set with a mic and headphones.
Jimmy: Welcome to the show.
Barney: Thank you, thank you.
Digger: Don’t touch my space.
Barney: Whoa! We got a badass over here.
Reid: So what do expect of your man, the Hippo, tonight.
Barney: Harry is new, sure, but he is determined. Look those moves – have you ever seen a big man as graceful as him. Let me help you. You haven’t.
Reid: There you go, Harry, shake it!
Digger: I don’t I’ve been this disgusted since I saw Alex Richards shirtless.
“PERSONAL JESUS” by Depeche Mode starts to play, when a mixture of multicolored laser lights and strobe lights illuminates through theatrical smoke. Fog sets the scene like a Four Season Fashion Show. The audience stands from their rickety bleachers in unison and waiting in anticipation for what is about to be the "New and Improved" fashion wrestling trend in the United Championship Infinite’s season.
Coming through the theatrical smoke and fog and appearing under the fashion show lighting is the one and only, First Couple of Professional Wrestling. Your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac and apex predator, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, along with his the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, and personal bodyguard/valet, "The Fashionista Sensei" Ms. Miyamoto.
Taylor Lord: And his opponent… on his way to ring… representing the epitome of style worldwide… and accompanied by Miss Miyamoto… the Handsome Half-breed… Shadowlove!
His classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair was perfect and showing off his chiseled fighter's face with an ice cold stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes. He was stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe along with his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned pants and custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots. Even through muddy ground, these two godly shapes vogue their way unblemished to the ring.
Jimmy: There you have it, our first couple of the company. You have to believe all this will get in the head of Harry Diderot.
Digger: Couldn’t agree more, Jimmy. No matter what this twat wants you to think. He has nothing on this founding father of our company. What is the Hippo but more flash in the pan.
Jimmy: Here we have it folks, two worlds are about to collide for the first time. The proven veteran versus a wiry newcomer. Unadulterated physicality meets the most irresistible form. Both men now have their harnesses strapped tight with Referee Ryan Jackson bringing them together to explain the rules for tonight’s competition. Once the bell rings, there may be little rules to bind these two fighters from all out destruction.
Barney: You have to like my boy’s looks. Can I get an “aaaa-oohhh!”
Digger: Don’t encourage them. That’s last thing we need. More stupid chants.
Reid: Too late, digs, the fans already beat you to it!
Jimmy: And there’s the bell… Jackson slides out of the ring leaving both to take control. It makes you wonder how there can be any order in a match like this. And Shadowlove begins the match with a drop toe hold, taking full advantage of Diderot’s over-pursuit.
Reid: You can always look to stretch the boundaries in a match like this. Weapons may be off the table, but what the hell is that thing in the ring?
Barney: Come on, guys, that’s “Gator”.
Digger: No one gives a shit. Besides, Shadow is going to break your, bro, tonight.
Reid: You’re right about that as he goes right for the Hippo’s legs. Stomps like that don’t look like much, but they wear you down. He’ll start feeling those sooner or later.
Jimmy: What’s on that table?
Barney: You mean “Gator”?
Jimmy: Fine, what’s on “Gator”?
Barney: Its Fabio, man. Beauty and the Beast on the wood. Nothing more to it.
Reid: Oh man! After missing a clumsy sweep kick from the floor, that 350 pound man just kipped up to his feet. What the hell is he?
Barney: Don’t you know, baby, that’s the Hippo.
Jimmy: Shadow looks surprised as well. They circle… now coming into a traditional grapple. Harry puts weight and strength behind those pounds, taking control of this strength test. Ooh… that sudden uppercut from Shadowlove has him seeing stars.
Digger: Your boy is getting lit up. I hope he’s got more than dance moves.
Reid: With all that power and athleticism, he’s going show us something big.
Barney: Yeah, give my dun a chance. Or are you always like this?
Jimmy: Brother, we’ve been saying the same thing for years. Diderot backing to the ropes from that strike. Shadow looking to capitalize here… he charges but the sheer weight of the Hippo sends him rolling backwards.
Reid: Unorthodox in every way, but I think that can be Harry’s upside tonight.
Digger: So being flabby and tall is a good thing now? Take that performance centers.
Jimmy: Harry runs after the former TV champ and misses wide with a lariat. Shadow comes fast then leapfrogs Diderot on the rebound… he’s picking up steam now… and the Hippo just leapfrogged the handsome half-breed from the opposite side!
Reid: Oh man, he just caught Harry with a quick neckbreaker. And the Hippo goes down hard.
Digger: Your boy is a big joke. Why’d you even bother coming here tonight?
Barney: He’s only getting started. That leapfrog is only the tip of his iceberg.
Reid: True, but he’s going to need more than athleticism to beat a former champion.
Jimmy: Diderot rolling around as Shadowlove applies a figure-four. Unorthodoxy meets an all-time classic. He disengages the lock – no –he’s inverting it now and calling for the crane! The first line lowering now. No matter how much the Hippo fights, a quick sling clips the first liner to Diderot’s harness. Remember folks: three more and the Hippo’s drinking pond scum.
Digger: Forget the wait, our Adonis is already lowering a second line. So much for proving his place in this company. He’s flopping around like a dead fish.
Barney: Come one everyone—give him a cheer!
Hip – Po! Hip – Po!
Jimmy: Fans now chanting “Hippo” but it might be too late. He’s crawling for the ropes… Shadowlove on a ride now as he makes it to the opposite apron. Ryan Jackson shouting from the outside – and it seems there’s no rope breaks tonight. Both sides erupting with the most animate being his younger brother, Richie, slapping the apron so hard his belly jiggled.
Digger: You’re watching him? Miss Miyamoto is right over there, Jimmy!
Reid: True that.
Barney: There you go Hippo!
Jimmy: With his hands on the apron, Harry Diderot just flung the Handsome Half-breed through the air. Wires holding him back some, but Diderot now on his feet. Shadowlove stands up into a flooring haymaker.
Reid: Did he just blow a kiss to Miss Miyamoto? That hound dog.
Jimmy: That he did, and now he goes to work with some sort of back clutch. Elbows rain from Shadow, breaking the hold. Harry shoves Shadowlove hard into ropes…
Barney: Main Street! Get them Poppa H!
Digger: Keep it to yourself. One move isn’t going to win this match.
Jimmy: After hitting a kitchen sink knee, the Hippo lifts and drops Shadowlove with a hard gourdbuster. Although he could look for his first “fish hook”, Diderot has some sort of powerbomb clutch. Wait a minute… the crane is lifting them both into the air.
Digger: Someone do something! His fat ass brother is in the crane!
Barney: Oh man! Say it with me now… Richie!
“Rich – ie!” “Rich – ie!” “Rich – ie!”
Jimmy: Shadowlove trying to punch his way out, as both fighter now balance precariously—what is that now, 15 – 20 feet?
Reid: Whatever he’s planning, it’s a bad idea. Look!
Jimmy: I don’t believe it! Using the crane, Harry Diderot just drove Shadowlove with a spin out powerbomb! He stands dizzier than a DUI but still calling for fishhooks.
“Holy Shit!” “Holy Shit!”
Reid: He comes the first one, and now he wants a second. You wonder how he learned to use that crane so fast.
Barney: Before he put on all that weight, our boy used to work in a railyard. He drove all kinds of stuff then. He works from now.
Digger: I don’t care if he knows how to use one. Someone needs to pull his ass out of there!
Barney: Calm down, dude. You’re going to have a stroke yelling like that.
Jimmy: Harry’s calling for the third, but nothing coming down.
Reid: There’s a battle going on over there! Miss Miyamoto having words with Gravy and Grits.
Jimmy: Richie Diderot is like three of her, but she isn’t backing down.
Digger: Ha ha! She just just floored him with a kick to the stomach. You had better get you boy out of there. She’s going to kill him.
“Harry! She gett’an Physical!”
Jimmy: I believe she’s now locked herself in the crane. Ryan Jackson seems dumbfound as what to do, as Miss Miyamoto has complete control of the machinery. Who knows where the original operator went.
Digger: Probably off his rocks. You know that crane rental had to have put us back a ton.
Reid: Psh… that’s SYFY money. Wait – can we even say that?
Jimmy: Either way, Harry Diderot is shouting over the ropes. His ace in the sleeve has gone across the table with both men connected by two cables. It only goes uphill from here. Miss Miyamoto, and his brother Richie to an extent, have the Hippo disoriented. He doesn’t even see Shadowlove stalking from behind.
Barney: Harry, look behind you!
Jimmy: And the Handsome Half-Breed clips Diderot from behind. He’s now using a cable thread to subdue his opponent. He might look pretty, but we know how ruthless Shadowlove can be.
Digger: Too late, buddy. Leave a veteran like that open and you’ll pay.
Barney: You doubted him before. He’s not done yet.
Digger: Save it for the green room, rookie. Oh come on! Let them go, Jackson.
Reid: I’m all for open rules, but Ryan Jackson can’t stand there and let Shadowlove strangle a guy out like that. It’s bad for business.
Jimmy: True, but it may be too late for the Hippo, as the crane lowers faster than before. Shadowlove kicks Harry onto his stomach, securing yet another line. One more and he’ll be cast back into the lake. Fans now booing even louder than before. I can barely hear myself.
Digger: Well that’s a good thing. So this joke gets to cheat. But when a proven champ takes the same advantage, people get bent out of shape. He clearly cheated!
Barney: Harry used an advantage of the match. And Richie brought them down slow – if not slower than the first ones. Miyamoto dropped that last one out of the damn sky!
Jimmy: Either way, Shadow is looking to finish this match without further damage. Wait… now he’s using the crane to lift Diderot above the ring. Folks, it’s beginning to look like Broadway as both competitors now levitate about 20 feet above the ring. I don’t know what insidious intent is on his mind, but it’s going to ends with the outright destruction of Harry Diderot.
Digger: Again, he did the same thing. Only now it’s evil. You guys need your mics checked.
Reid: I hope this one’s up to code. Because those two are dangling really loose.
Jimmy: Miss Miyamoto has the door locked tight while Brother Richie seems to have lost his cookies out there. Diderot swings back and forth, with Shadowlove conducting from a safe distance. He’s taken a handful of hair now – oh, we’ve seen this one before! He’s gearing up for what could be a another of those devastating head butts with a target dangling before him. Shadow rears back… here it comes!
Barney: There you go baby!
Jimmy: My goodness… at the last second, Diderot narrowly avoids the head butt and counters with open-handed slap.
Reid: Give him money, Bitch!
Barney: Hey man, not cool.
Jimmy: Call it what you want, but the Hippo just smacked the taste out of his mouth. Both men now moving around like puppets on Miyamoto’s strings. What in the world is going on here? They’re making passes with errant punches flying like a couple of superheroes duking it out for supremacy. Forget your comic books, kids, UCI is the real deal.
Reid: Da da daaaa! Another soaring haymaker from the Hippo. Ooh, but a painful knee from Shadowlove did its work. Both sides now going into what you might consider a muay thai clinch… maybe? It’s given both men a chance for hard strikes. Certainly looks safer than before.
Digger: I take back anything I ever said about Ryan Jackson. They’ve retaken the crane with a new operator. What – he can’t send Miss Miyamoto away.
Jimmy: Indeed they can, Digger. But worry because that includes that roll of biscuits, Richie Diderot. Both shouting at each other while manhandled by security. I think that’s got our Adonis all fired up because he’s throwing a lot open shots at the Hippo. Fans, of course, booing as the crane lowers them closer to safe ground. Spencer Adams has a lot invested in his talent. We can’t go letting them swing around like a bad anime.
Barney: They went Dragon Ball up there. But yeah, you have to admit it was pretty cool.
Reid: How about that! After a quick succession of knees to the gut, Shadowlove gave us the ole’ American Dream bionic elbow. Damn! That looked painful.
Jimmy: And down goes Diderot while both land safely onto the canvas floor. Harry stuck on his knees – I think he’s calling for last cable! Here is comes. That’s number four for the Hippo… No! a final surge is keeping the Handsome Half-breed from finishing this match.
Hip – Po! Hip – Po! Hip – Po! Hip – Po!
Digger: You can get the fans into it, but Diderot is finished. Accept it!
Barney: Come on, people! Get out of your seats!
Reid: It’s working! Diderot throws him off, but that elbow still has him seeing stars and stripes.
Jimmy: You’ve got that right. With no man in charge of the other, that crane returns its chain above the ring. Shadowlove probably wondering just what could put this big man down for good. He runs… Harry rolls under him… on the rebound… Holy mother! Harry Diderot just delivered a corkscrew body assault on Shadowlove!
Barney: I told you he wasn’t done!
Digger: Who cares?
Reid: Physics just got booted from this arena. Harry Diderot took off like a bumblebee!
Jimmy: And stung like one too… He’s working behind to some sort of clutch. Elbows stifle – but the Hippo will not be denied! A half-and-half suplex leveling his opponent!
Barney: He call “the Brother Richie”.
Reid: Okay, I’ve got to know why.
Barney: Because it’s part chicken wing suplex and part half nelson. But mainly because Richie loves chicken wings. That’s about it.
Reid: You guys are ridiculous… can I say that?
Jimmy: You can, bru-tha, as Diderot beckons for a third chain. It lowers and hooks to Shadowlove’s harness. And now we’re all tied 3 – 3 with either man looking to win. Harry is calling for the final one, but the crane refuses with that Herculean statue regaining to his feet.
Reid: And it’s degrading to an all-out fistfight. Both scoring huge punches, working closer to that gaudy table – what’d he call it again?
Barney: It’s Gator, man.
Reid: You wonder if either man has their eyes set on that thing...
Jimmy: I think you’re right partner. A huge punch from Shadowlove throws Diderot right into its edge. It shakes but doesn’t fall over, as the Hippo braces on its side. Fans, and indeed our special guest, standing on their feet. This place is going crazy for Hippo Diderot – also this insane match. Blows fly again… now back to that muay thai clinch.
One! Two! Three! Four! Five!
Reid: Harry has a side clutch. Taking Shadow up for a ride…
Jimmy: Sam! L! Jack-up! A jackhammer straight that uglier than all hell table. And this might finally do it folks as he calls for a final cord. Shadowlove fighting, but a heavy sole keeps him pinned in place for the last fish hook. And up he goes into the night!
Barney: Sayonara, Half-Breed!
Digger: This match is bullshit! You shouldn’t be applauding this.
Reid: And he’s about to hit the splash zone!
Taylor Lorde: And your winner… Hippo Harry Diderot!
Jimmy: Crews fish Shadowlove from the lake. You have to wonder if all that product is bad for the environment. Either way, a huge win for the Hippo. Fans are shaking… this whole campsite has no idea what just happened. I have no words, friends. There’s more to come after this.
Rising Stars Overboard Battle Royal
Winner faces M.A.X for Rising Stars Championship
Warbird vs. Mikey eXtreme vs. Karlie Nash vs. Ginger Red vs. Matt Angel
Guest Commentary: M.A.X
We cut to the lake itself, a ring is now floating in the middle of the inky blackness, bobbing up and down along with the small waves. The entire scene is illuminated by gigantic lights set up all around Crystal Lake.
The viewing audience is shown this through the lenses of drone-mounted cameras, all swirling around to show every angle possible. The stream cuts to the feed of one as it pulls up to the face of the android Rising Stars champion M.A.X; currently staying aloft above the ring in a way that surely would cause Marvel to sue for similarities to Iron Man.
M.A.X: Welcome to Crystal Lake, past site of gruesome murders and -if we’re very lucky tonight- future site for a few more. Because now you will have the distinct displeasure of seeing which one of four losers gets the honor of being the David to my Goliath.
He pauses for a moment, frowning.
M.A.X: I really should think through my analogies better…
Gravediggers voice cuts in, interrupting the champions self-deprecation.
‘Digger: We all know that story is a pile of bull, Champ, and in the UCI version of the bible; David gets stomped by the nuclear-powered Goliath!
M.A.X: Yes, thank you Gravedigger, you really understand how to talk to a champion.
‘Digger: Rightful, undisputed champion!
M.A.X simply smirks before turning to the shore as the drones camera does the same, revealing all 5 competitors, each standing next to a small rowboat with a UCI intern holding the oars, a large gong is standing on the shore, ready to be used in lieu of a bell.
All 5 step into their boats and glare at each other as they start to approach the softly bobbing ring, the sound of oars going in and out of the black void of the lake the only noise being transmitted.
That is until a scuffle breaks out on Mikey eXtremes boat as the others are reaching the ring, it is swiftly ended by the intern getting tossed into the water and sputtering swimming back to shore, the other competitors are swiftly ushered of their boats onto the ring by their interns, all very nervous that they will meet the same fate as their friend.
Garcia: What on earth is Mikey doing, he’s picking something up from the boat!
Reid: It’s a can of gasoline!!!
Mikey starts rowing around the ring all the while pouring gasoline out the side of his boat while the other competitors eye him and each other suspiciously.
Once he finishes his lap of the ring, he rows to the ring, stepping onto the apron and pouring the remaining liquid in the tank into his boat before kicking it away from the ring and tossing a match inside it, it quickly catches fire and slowly glides towards the ring of liquid in the water.
Garcia and Reid: Oh no…
‘Digger: OH YES!!!
The gasoline ignites, a ring of inferno now encircling the floating platform.
Garcia: Well… I suppose we’re lucky the drones can fly.
Reid: So, Champ; what are your thoughts on Mikey eXtremes strategy here?
M.A.X: Well, he’s certainly got the other potential victims shaken up, but if he ends up getting thrown “overboard” -as it were- he might regret his hubris.
GONG! GONG! GONG!!!
The water-soaked intern has managed to make it back to shore and finished throwing up the copious amounts of lake water he swallowed on the way, and smashed three times on the gong at shore, indicating that the match has started.
Mikey, Warbird and Nash immediately go at each other, the three trade chops, elbows and gut kicks as they vie for dominance. Matt and Ginger see the sudden brawl, look at each other, touch “gloves” before running the ropes.
M.A.X: Well, isn’t that just precious…
The two pass each other for the first time, Matt ducks a clothesline and they keep running, next pass he ducks another one before flipping backwards, aiming a pele kick that is caught by Red, he wraps his ankles around her neck and rolling forward, executing a perfect hurricanrana.
M.A.X: Okay… that was actually impressive.
Garcia: Rare, appreciative words from the champ there!
M.A.X: Don’t get used to them, white bread.
Angel stalks towards the corner where Red is starting to rise, but they are both felled by double axe handles from Warbird and Mikey, who in turn are both put on their backs by a double chop block from Karlie Nash.
She goes after the rising Angel, but is stopped short by a spinning heel kick.
Garcia: Angel going to the top rope!
Reid: He’s taking a big risk, the entire ring is leaning with the collective weight of all competitors gathered in one corner!
One drone flies down, showing Matt Angel perched on the top rope from the POV of the fighters on the mat, the fiery inferno raging behind him.
M.A.X: Icarus better be careful he doesn’t get burned.
‘Digger: Great insight, Champ!
Another drone flies up next to M.A.X, who shoots some cheeky finger guns aimed at Digger.
Angel gestures to M.A.X, mouthing “Watch this” before hitting a 450 Splash on all 4 of his opponents.
Garcia: Holy moly!!!
Angel is ecstatic over his perfectly executed, aerial assault. Remounting the turnbuckle and screaming at the flying android, yelling at him that he’s next.
Warbird quickly gets to his feet, running up behind Angel, hitting a low blow before dumping him into the flaming water.
GONG! GONG! GONG!!!
Garcia: A simple mistake from Angel, however he did very well this match, his day will come.
M.A.X: And Icarus looked very striking while flying through the sky…
Warbird turns around to find both Ginger Red and Karlie Nash stalking him.
Garcia: That’s a very dangerous alliance…
M.A.X: Although probably short-lived…
It lasts long enough to hurt Warbird though, as both women run at him.
Garcia: Bull’s horn from Ginger Red!
He staggers backwards, totally out on his feet.
Reid: Clothesline from Hell from Karlie Nash!!!
The man goes down, not an ounce of strength left in his body, both of them picking him up and moving towards the ropes.
As they are working on dropping the dead weight over the ropes, Karlie lets go and hits Red with an elbow to the back of the neck, the other woman turns around and a brawl quickly breaks out.
Garcia: WARBIRD FALLS OVER THE ROPES, BUT OH! HE LANDED ON THE APRON!!!
M.A.X: He still has enough sense in him to roll the right way though…
The two women brawl back and forth against the ropes, until they hear a whistle from the center of the ring.
Garcia: X marks the spot to Red!!!
‘Digger: The mad cunt grabs Nash on her way out, THEY’RE BOTH OUT!!!
GONG! GONG! GONG!!!
M.A.X: All mr. eXtreme needs to do is toss out the already downed Bird…
That is not what he does though, instead he goes to one side of the ring, reaching down below the apron into the murky waters.
‘Digger: What on earth is he doing?
The question is swiftly answered as Mikey pulls up a huge rock with a chain wrapped around it.
Reid: Holy hell, is he looking to kill Warbird!?
M.A.X: Hahaha, I love this guy!
He places it on the apron, hanging the chain on the rope so that he can swiftly wrap it around someone's neck.
When he turns around, Warbird has risen to his feet. Mikey walks up behind him lifting him up for an eXplosion!
‘Digger: A reversal in the form of a low blow!
M.A.X: Warbird really seems to like going for the cock…
‘Digger: A-are you calling him a… fgt?
M.A.X: Why, yes, gravedigger; yes I am.
‘Digger: ...may your reign last a thousand years.
The two men in the ring are both going after each other; Eye rakes, elbows, chops and punches flying back and forth, until…
Garcia: Heart Punch from Warbird!
Reid: Mikey staggering towards the ropes, Warbird flips him over!!!
Garcia: Mikey holds on! He’s standing on the apron!!!
Blows continue being traded until Mikey gets a hold of Warbird!
Garcia: Lifting him up for a suplex! But Warbird with a knee to the head, Mikey drops him!
‘Digger: Fgt and Mr. eXtreme both on the apron now.
Both men go for each other's eyes, fingers pushing into the soft, squishy organs as several drones get a close up view.
Reid: Mikey is being forced to his knees, He lets go of Warbirds eyes!!!
Garcia: But he reaches for the chain, wrapping it around Warbirds neck; HE PUSHES THE ROCK INTO THE WATER!
The chain snaps tight, and Warbird is pulled underneath the surface, his fingernails tearing chunks of skin out from between Mikey’s mask and eyes as they go.
GONG! GONG! GONG!!!
M.A.X: Well then… i suppose i have my challenger…
Mikey eXtreme doesn’t stop staring at M.A.X’s flying form until one of the interns makes his way through the now fading fire to pick him up on the same boat that brought him to the ring.
Garcia: Ladies and Gentle, your new #1 contender for the Rising Stars Championship, Mikey eXtreme...
Once the boat is almost at shore; M.A.X lands in the ring, looking around at the blood shed in it, softly kissing the belt the fight was for and letting out a cold, metallic chuckle.
He is interrupted by a splash, and a groan of exertion, he turns around to find Warbird, giant rock in hand, having crawled up into the ring, slowly standing up.
M.A.X: What? You cheated death so now you want me to give you the real dea-
He is cut off by Warbird swinging the rock, connecting with his face as sparks and pieces of SynthFlesh fly.
Warbird gazes down at the now kneeling android.
Warbird: You better not let that cunt beat you, because once you’re done with him, i’m coming for ya’. I’ll show every last goddamn soul in the UCI Universe that I am the only Machine in the rising Stars division!!!
M.A.X’s thrusters sputter to life, and they lift him away from the mat before Warbird can land another blow, one drone flies up to his mangled face, now a mess of machinery and wires, letting the world hear the wholly inhuman sound of pure, unadulterated rage coming from the damaged voicebox before the screen fades to black.
Kem Bloodbath Match
Andre Jenson vs. Vincent Pryde
A video montage plays out across the campsite of the feud leading up to the match. Jenson fighting with his Army against Vincent Pryde’s NBW roster, Pryde beating Jenson down, the masked man taking out Jenson and the general highlights of the feud so far. The video package comes with the added bonus having “Over the Mountain” by Ozzy playing on it. Interspersed with the action from the feud, pictures of the Bloodbath Mountain show, highlighting the 40 foot structure made of tables, ladders and chairs, situated on a hill near the ring and surrounded by a moat of blood. It has one ramp leading up toward the summit that spirals around the structure, leading to a plateau at the top with room enough for a few people to fight on. The plateau is made of a metal grate that looks very punishing to land on and only has a single bell sitting on a table. The moat is inaccessible from the ground, covered by a steel grid.
The video ends with a speech by a familiar voice.
Voice: Everyone wants to be a king, the King of Kem, the King of NBW, the King of the Mountain. The crown weighs heavily on the head of those who take it and those who fight for it are forever changed. What becomes of the loser is never written in history, history is written by the victors. As the Victors always get the spoils of war, the victors always get the glory and the fame. The victors, well they get me.
Sam Kidsgrove now shows up on the video, standing on the mountain, looking down to the blood pit below. His Intercontinental title gleaming over his shoulder. He smiles and taps his belt. Throwing his arms out as the camera zooms out showing the full scale of the battlefield.
Sam Kidsgrove: Let the battle begin.
The camera now pans around the crowd who are all cheering madly about the match that is about to happen.
Jimmy Garcia: Here we go folks, it’s the time for the Mountain!
Gravedigger: The Bloodbath Mountain Garcia! It’s like Brokeback mountain, but with more blood and less anal sex.
Sebastian Reid: Well, that’s unless Jack Schlongson gets involved.
Gravedigger: True that, true that.
Taylor Lorde: Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s now time for the Bloodbath Mountain match! In this match, there are no falls, no count outs, no disqualifications, no referees. The only way to win the match is to climb the mountain, ring the bell and throw your opponent into the moat of blood below. The loser of this match has to withdraw from negotiations with Sam Kidsgrove.
The crowd cheer on the mention of the Man of Many faces.
Jimmy Garcia: We might be getting our Intercontinental champion back!
Gravedigger: Jenson has to win a match for that to happen. Andre Jenson. You know that dice rolling freak?
Sebastian Reid: I’ve never seen a guy with so much heart though.
Gravedigger: Heart? He’ll need two! Vincent Pryde eats them you know.
“Big Blue Dress” by Cranius hits and the crowd go wild. There is a moment of nothing happening before Andre Jenson bursts through the curtain, his raiding party in tow. He stands on the stage for a moment, raises his dice and rolls it on the stage. He is happy with the result so nods at the raiding party, who all bow to him and walk backstage. Jenson soaks in the crowd atmosphere and throws a huge grin to them. He adjusts his crown, then starts to march down the ramp. He ooks at the mountain as he makes his way to the ring, commenting to the camera about how big it is. He looks focussed and ready for a big time fight. He gets to the ring, rolls a dice, acknowledges the roll and then slides into the ring. No fanfare, nothing. Jenson is all business.
“Lights out” by Royal Blood starts to play across the camp and out walks the NBW roster all dressed for the Halloween festivities. From the curtain steps Vincent Pryde dressed in his wrestling attire with a bloodied white apron on and a white doctor’s mask that is covered in blood splatter. He pulls out a bloody machete and he slices the air on the way down the ramp. As he passes each member of his roster, they take a fall as if Pryde ‘kills' them. At the bottom of the ramp Pryde looks back to see his entire roster has fallen victim to him and then he looks to the top of the mountain that sits off to the side of the stage, in which he nods at. Pryde quickly scurries up the stair and he makes his way to the center of the ring. He rips his doctor's mask off and he roars at the crowd with blood dripping down from his mouth. He backs away to his corner and he watches Jenson back away to his corner.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first, he is the King of Kem, Lord of many suns, Bane of Undersund here is Andre Jenson!
Jenson stares at Pryde during his introduction, merely raising his arm in acknowledgement.
Taylor Lorde: And His opponent, he is the prince of Darkness. He owns New Blood Wrestling, here is Vincent Pryde!
The crowd boo as Pryde is introduced, not the usual sort of booing, but a vociferous hatred kinda booing. They are actually quite scary these guys. 2 guys dressed as zombie doctors try to jump the barrier and are swiftly removed by the security guard that looks like Lurch. (Not a costume btw, he just does.)
The camera pans out again showing the blood bath mountain graphic, the NBW roster are still “dead” at the ramp. The bell rings.
Jimmy Garcia: AND AWAY WE GO!
The start of the match can only be described as a cagey affair if you’re drunk and have no idea what the phrase means. Immediately Jenson rushes Pryde and tackles him, raining punches down furiously on his face. Pryde tries valiantly to defend himself but Jenson is too ferocious in his attack.
Sebastian Reid: Jenson is really up for this!
Gravedigger: Yeah, but Pryde is too smart to just stay there!
Sure enough, Pryde has managed to wriggle out of the punches. He turned Jenson over enough to roll them both out of the ring, and he lands on top of him. He hits him with an elbow, and a knee to the groin before rolling off. Jenson temporarily stunned. Pryde puts a little distance between the two of them. He reaches under the ring and finds a weapon. It’s a chair. He bashes it against the ring post. It’s solid. Good stuff. He takes a run up…
Jimmy Garcia: What a sickening hit! Right to Jenson’s face!
Gravedigger: AND AGAIN!
Sebastian Reid: OK I THINK HE GETS THE POINT
Gravedigger: That was glorious!
Jimmy Garcia: Jenson is out guys. He’s not moving.
Gravedigger: ALL HAIL THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS! HE’S BEATEN JENSON AT HIS OWN GAME!
Jimmy Garcia: Well not exactly, he’s gotta somehow get him up the 40ft mountain and throw him into the pool.
Gravedigger: Ah fuck! WAKE HIS ASS UP IF YOU DON’T WANNA CARRY HIM!
Sure enough, Pryde has the same idea, so he grabs a bottle from the UCI beer cooler at ring side and tips it over Jenson’s face.
Sebastian Reid: Erm, I don’t think he wants to do that.
Sebastian Reid: Cos that isn’t water.
Gravedigger: So it’s beer? Who cares as long as he wakes up.
Jimmy Garcia: I know what Reid is getting at digger. I ‘member.
Sebastian Reid: I ‘member.
Gravedigger: You guys remember what? WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON!?
Jenson is stirring at this point. More than he should with a concussion. Pryde is slapping him about a bit to try and quicken the waking. Jenson Roars a savage roar and promptly spears Pryde through the barricade.
Gravedigger: Ohhhhhhh - he keeps potions there doesn’t he? Ah fuck. I guess Pryde didn’t know that.
Sure enough, Jenson is now back to full strength. He picks up Pryde from the destroyed barrier and whips him into the stairs, causing an almighty smash and the stairs to go flying. Now it’s Jenson’s turn to go under the ring. He comes back with a hockey stick and a Jason mask. He puts the mask on and winds up for a slap shot. Right in the happy place. Every man in the world felt that.
Jimmy Garcia: ….
Sebastian Reid: I feel sick.
Jenson is now choking Pryde with the hockey stick as Pryde is struggling on the floor. He scrambles about and finally finds something.
Jimmy Garcia: HE JUST SMASHED THE BOTTLE OVER JENSON’S HEAD!
Jenson lets go and they both stagger to their feet. They stare at each other for a brief moment and immediately start throwing punches at each other. Eventually Pryde gets the upper hand and throws Jenson toward the ramp, via another set of steps. He gets Jenson on the ramp and starts bashing his head against it. Jenson fights back with a monkey flip onto the steel. Jenson starts to drag Pryde by the hair up the ramp, making a beeline for the mountain.
Sebastian Reid: OK, this is the first time we see anyone trying to get to the mountain!
They reach the top of the ramp and Jenson looks up at the mountain, towering nearby. He kicks Pryde in the head and points at the mountain. The crowd cheer like crazy.
During this cheering, Pryde can be seen gesturing to the “dead” NBW roster.
Pryde: RISE! DO YOUR MASTER’S BIDDING!
As one, the NBW roster slowly rise, and, as one they look at Jenson.
Jenson: Oh shit.
The NBW roster attack. a dozen guys in unison charge Jenson and overwhelm him, allowing Pryde to get up. Each one of them take turns in beating on Jenson, eventually lifting him over their heads and….
Sebastian Reid: IT’S THAT HORN AGAIN!
Sure enough the sound of the horn rattles around the camp as a horde of Elves and Dwarves come flying out of the crowd and side of the stage area. They immediately engage with the NBW roster, who at this point have dropped Jenson over the side of the stage.
Gravedigger: GODDAMN IT!
Meanwhile, Pryde has slipped off the stage and is attacking Jenson viciously with punches, kicks and gouges. He leaves the battle to the two armies as he and Jenson slowly make it towards the mountain.
Jimmy Garcia: Is he choking him with a chain? That can’t be legal!
Gravedigger: Everything is legal in this Jimmy, this is why we got a fucking Dwarf fighting with some luchador in front of our announce table!
Sebastian Reid: I think I know that elf! I think it’s Derek!
Gravedigger: Derek? Who the fuck is Derek?
Pryde at this point has the massive upper hand on Jenson, he is following Jenson who is crawling along, trying to get away from the beating he’s receiving at the hands of Pryde and his kendo stick.
Jimmy Garcia: They’re at the foot of the mountain now!
Jenson tries to rally, knowing where he was but Pryde seems to have a massive second wind is is too powerful. He is mocking Jenson as they start up the ramp to the summit of the mountain. Jenson trying to avoid a beating, Pryde just attacking him at every opportunity.
Pryde: What do you think of your army now eh Jenson? WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Jenson, confused, glances over the shoulder of Pryde. The NBW roster has had reinforcements, The Snake Pit and Bitter siblings are some of the members that have been waiting for the moment to be unleashed and they are now overwhelming Jenson’s army. Pryde grabs Jenson by the head and forces him to watch the army being decimated. Jenson sees Amy get thrown off the stage into some electrical equipment below by one of the bitter siblings and shouts out in anguish.
Pryde: Oh yes!
Jenson looks at Pryde in anger and reaches around, grabbing a rod of some description from the mountain.
The sound of the rod going over Pryde’s head could be heard in Alaska. Jenson follows up with a knee and the fight starts again! Jenson starts to lead Pryde up the ramp, they are almost at the summit now. An angry Jenson throws Pryde onto the steel girders at the summit and looks down angrily at him, then looks down at the pool below. He rings the bell and starts pummelling Pryde with fists while the referees down at the foot of the mountain crank open the moat.
Jimmy Garcia: It looks like some of Jenson’s army are rallying guys!
Sebastian Reid: Two of them have just broken through after a big push!
Gravedigger: STOP THEM! THEY ARE GOING UP THE MOUNTAIN!
Jimmy Garcia: I think they’re just standing at the top to guard against interference, Digger.
Jenson looks over to them as they stand at the entrance to the top. He notes the moat is now open and picks up Pryde.
Jimmy Garcia: OUCH!
Gravedigger: PRYDE WAS PLAYING POSSUM!
Sebastian Reid: RIGHT IN THE PLUMS!
Jimmy Garcia: He’s lifting him up! Is he trying to do the Bloody Coronation here?!
Gravedigger: HE IS!
Jimmy Garcia: He has him!
Sebastian Reid: WHAT THE HELL!
Jimmy Garcia: JENSON JUST REVERSED IT INTO A D20! ON THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN! HE’S TRYING TO PUSH PRYDE OFF THE SIDE!
Sebastian Reid: HE’S GONE OVER!
Gravedigger: Why hasn’t he fallen?!
Sebastian Reid: He’s grabbed the ledge! He’s holding on by one hand!
Gravedigger: WHAT THE HELL!
Jimmy Garcia: DID THAT GUARD DO WHAT I THOUGHT HE DID!?
Sebastian Reid: OH MY FUCKING GOD
Jimmy Garcia: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?
Gravedigger: I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING
Crowd: HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS!
Taylor Lorde: And the winner of this match, VINCENT PRYDE!
Jimmy Garcia: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ONE OF THE GUARDS JUST HIT THE OTHER WITH THE FINAL ENLIGHTENMENT AND THEN SPEARED ANDRE JENSON 40 FEET OFF THE MOUNTAIN INTO THE POOL OF BLOOD BELOW! VINCENT PRYDE HAS PULLED HIMSELF BACK ONTO THE LEDGE!
Vincent Pryde lies at the top of the mountain, completely spent. Andre Jenson, has been dragged out of the pool of blood along with his assailant. The man takes off his robe.
Jimmy Garcia: GODDAMN IT - IT’S THE GUY THAT CALLS HIMSELF DOCTOR STRANGE!
Gravedigger: That isn’t Doctor Strange!
Sebastian Reid: OH MY GOD!
Jimmy Garcia: IS THAT?
Gravedigger: IT IS!
Jimmy Garcia: DOCTOR STRANGE WAS ALEX RICHARDS THIS WHOLE TIME? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Gravedigger: AND SAM KIDSGROVE IS ON HIS WAY TO NBW!!!
UCI Television Championship
Jack Schlongson (c) vs. El Payaso Loco
Jimmy Garcia: Time for our first title match of the night, and quite an interesting one it will be, as UCI's first ever Manhunt match.
Sebastian Reid: For those who don't know, a Manhunt Match is essentially a falls-count anywhere match, but throughout Camp Crystal Lake, a number of traps of varying degrees of danger have been set up to ensnare and harm the competitors is they happen across them.
Jimmy Garcia: Though, what I think will really make this match interesting is that, earlier in the night, two of Jack Schlongson's former teammates and current entourage interfered in Allen Walker's contendership match, and while they weren't able to stop the brawler from being able to get the one, it really makes you wonder what Jack might have up his sleeve.
Gravedigger: Does it matter? Everything is legal in this match! barbed wire, bear traps, trip wire, you name it. If Jack does decide to UTILIZE THE RULES to be in his favor, it is up to El Payaso Loco in order to play that game!
Sebastian Reid: I'm going to have to go with Gravedigger on this. There aren't many rules to be broken in this match, so Jack's usual strategy of distraction and interference woud be totally legal here, but what Jack will have to keep in mind is that turnabout is fair play and Payaso can do whatever HE wants in order to win the match as well, but I'm more interested to see if Bran or Richards will be able to make it out here tonight, considering Allen knocked them both pretty hard with those Brass Knuckles.
The opening riff of "Let's Go" hits the PA as the lights lower. Red, white and green spotlights flicker around the entrance ramp, falling onto one central space. At that point, they focus upwards as Payaso Loco descends from the standing metal light structure around the ring on a cord of some form, landing safely on the ground. He detaches himself from the cord, making a beeline for the ring and jumping from the floor, over the top rope and into the ring. He flies up to the nearest turnbuckle, his arms outstretched as he takes in the reaction from the fans.
Sebastian Reid: And there is El Payaso, after a long hiatus due to injury, the mysterious luchadore has returned to UCI and his very first bout is for none other than the Television championship, a title he has much history with.
Jimmy Garcia: That's right. In the past, El Payaso has fought the likes of Damien Kane and Zombie McMorris for this very title, but sadly came up short both times. It'll be interesting to see if he has comeback with a renewed vigor and will be able to get the job done this time around.
Gravedigger: Don't be ridiculous! Jack is one of the greatest TV champs this company has ever had! If he couldn't get it done against those other two chumps, then what chance does he have against the Rainbow King!
A large group of men in all black with lit Jack-O Lanterns walk down the entrance ramp as a slowed down 80's synth styled cover of "Technicolor Shades" by Yourenigma is played in minor key to give a menacing air as Orange lights wave over the audience.
Sebastian Reid: Speaking of which, here comes the champion now!
Jack Schlongson walks out into the open with a Sexy Little Red Riding hood costume on, and the title (now with flashing side plates) around his waist. He struts down to the ring with a wide smirk across his face.
Gravedigger: He has every reason to smirk. Today marks his thirty-fifth day as Television champion, succeeding eighteen out of twenty-two previous reigns in length. Also, since his return, he has gone sixty-three days undefeated. This man is building a legacy before our very eyes! Everyone is looking to see who has the World Title by the end of the night, but for my money's worth, Jack is showing the true importance of that Television Title.
Sebastian Reid: But El Payaso is no push over. Having gone toe-to-toe with Zombie McMorris twice, taking our current World Champion the distance during his TV title reign, there is no question that Loco might be the perfect match to take Jack down a notch.
Jack climbs the steps before giving a sensuous pose towards the audience, who boos in retort. Jack slips between the top and middle rope and raises his title high in the air, winking into the camera. He steps back into his respective corner and admires his customized Television Title.
Sebastian Reid: Seems interesting that Jack would come out here alone tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: Jack does seem a bit naked without his followers tonight.
Gravedigger: Nah, that's just the skirt.
Jimmy Garcia: ...
Taylor Lorde: This bout is a Manhunt Match for the UCI TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger: weighing in at One Hundred and Eighty Four pounds, hailing from The Rabbit Hole...EL PAYASO LOCO!
Payaso steps forward and raises his arm, greeted by the cheers of the crowd before stepping back.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing next, The Champion, weighing in at One Hundred and Eighty Five pounds, hailing from Your Wildest Dreams, California...JACK "THE CRACK" SCHLONGSON!
Jack steps forward and raises his title in the air, greeted by the jeers of the audience before sticking his tongue out at them and stepping back into his corner. He hands over his title to the referee who hands it to a ring attendant.
Sebastian Reid: Two evenly match competitors, these two high flyers will have to move outside of their wheelhouse in order to put the other away tonight. Jack, with his usually meticulous technical strategies might have to improvise and brawl his way out of losing his title, and Payaso, which his chaotic high flying style, will have to pick his spots more cautiously to not end up on the wrong side of one of the many traps placed out on the campgrounds.
Jack immediately rolls out of the ring and smiles at Payaso, who seems slightly annoyed that his opponent is already attempting to escape instead of facing him face to face, but Jack gestures for Payaso to follow him before he runs off, jumps the guardrail, moves through the audience, and out into the forested area. UCI's cameramen follow in pursuit as Payaso rolls out of the ring and goes after the running champion.
Jimmy Garcia: It seems Jack is not at all hesitant in heading straight towards the namesake of this match, which seems odd who tends to be rather adverse to risk.
Sebastian Reid: I'd say this is a worse more for Payaso, following the rather dishonest Jack into the proverbial, and possibly literal, minefield.
The cameraman following behind Payaso tries to keep up from behind as Payaso reaches the forest. Having lost sight of Jack, Payaso cautiously moves along, the anticipation, with the shaking of the camera, making the scene rather reminiscent to a found footage film. Payaso takes step and you hear a mechanical click. Looking down, Payaso has snagged a trip wire. Looking quickly to his left, he dives out of the way, barely missing a swinging sludgehammer coming down from on high, hanging from a rope attached to a sturdy tree branch. The hammer collides with the tree instead of Payaso and splinters of bark go everywhere.
Sebastian Reid: Oh damn! UCI wasn't messing around when putting up those traps. Thank goodness Payaso moved when he did or that might've taken his head clear off!
Jimmy Garcia: The surprise element is going to be a tough factor for both competitors unless somehow one of them manage to s...Jack scouted the area for traps earlier didn't he?
Sebastian Reid: That does sound like something he would do, yes.
Gravedigger: Much like farting on the president, that's not illegal!
Sebastian Reid: Jeesus...
Payaso continues to move forward, taking more care with his steps as to not set off another trap in his pursuit for Jack. The area is so quiet and tense that crickets can be heard chirping in the distance. After a few moments, a running can be heard approaching from off screen. Payaso looks around and is startled right before an individual in a Slenderman costume jumps into frame and begins attacking Payaso. Payaso defends himself with a series of punches of his own until he manages to fend of the individual. He reaches out and pulls off the mask to reveal Golden Johnson.
Sebastian Reid: That would explain why they didn't join him out to the ring. Jack had them planted throughout the forest. He wanted to lure Payaso out to not only the traps, but to obstacles of his own to give him a distinct advantage.
Payaso delivers a hard highkick to the side of Johnson's head, sending him stumbling backwards into a tree. Suddenly there is a quick thwip noise and Johnson is pulled off his feet by a rope tied to a tree branch that has wrapped around his ankles and forces him to hang upside down. Payaso, not spending any time to dwell on his assailants own bumbling stupidity, continues his hunt for Jack Schlongson.
Jimmy Garcia: Payaso has managed to successfully dodge oncoming attacks and several traps so far, but can his luck continue as he moves deeper into the forest?
Payaso is walking along when his foot gets stuck, looking down, a hand is holding onto his ankle. Soon a body begins to rise from under a board covered in grass and leaves hiding a hole with Bran Butts sitting inside. He tries to pull Payaso under, pulling Payaso off of his feet, but the luchador quickly begins to kick at Bran's hands, pulling himself loose. Bran tries to climb out of the hole to continue his attack, but Payaso rises to his feet, raises the wooden board Bran is under and slams it down on Bran's head.
Payaso turns, but is blindsided by Richard "Dick" in a Chucky mask. They begin to trade blows until Payaso manages to duck one of Richard's punches and hits him with a solid uppercut to the jaw. Richard stumbles backwards and manages to step in a bear trap. With a loud scream, Richard clutches his legs in pain. Payaso gets a running start and hits Richard with a dropkick. Richard falls backwards onto the board that Bran is under, keeping Bran from begin able to lift it. Richard tries to get up, but the immense pain shooting through his leg keeps him grounded.
Sebastian Reid: Jack's strategy seems to be falling apart as the mystery element of the traps which he might have missed in his scouting is paying a heavy toll.
Gravedigger: You say that, but remember Payaso hasn't found Jack yet, and if they can manage a comeback and wear Payaso down, Jack can come in and take the match.
Payaso looks down at Richard and then up at the tree above him.
Sebastian Reid: Oh, he couldn't be thinking of something high risk, could he?
Payaso approaches the tree and begins to climb it. Getting onto a branch about seven feet up, he looks down at Richard who is now pleading for mercy as Bran desperately tries to push the board and Richard off of him. Payaso leaps into the air, coming down with a double stomp onto Richard with breaks the wooden board, sending all that weight down upon Bran.
Jimmy Garcia: HOLY...! Acabado Caótico from Payaso! It seems to effective enough to take out those two distractions.
Sebastian Reid: Yeah, but at what cost? A high risk maneuver isn't going to help his chances against Jack if he isn't hitting him with them. Stuff like that only serves to do damage to him while Jack is still out of sight.
Payaso climbs out of the hole, using the bodies of his downed enemies, but as he does so, Jack runs up and pulls him the rest of the way out, grabbing his leg, putting him in the suplex position and hitting a twisting fisherman.
Gravedigger: SAME TEAM SWING FROM THE CHAMP!
Jack goes for the cover as referee runs into frame for the count.
Payaso manages to kick out! Jack is in disbelief as he argues with the referee.
Sebastian Reid: Apparently, Jack was really counting on his buddies to wear Payaso down for him.
While Jack is arguing with the referee, Payaso slowly makes it up to his feet. He grabs Jack's shoulder and forces him to turn around before landing a shot to the chin. He grabs Jack's arm and whips him away from the referee and into a tree. Jack collides hard, having to grab hold of the bark to keep from falling over. Jack regains his bearings and turns back at Payaso. They stare each other down before Jack comes charging. Payaso predicts his attack and manages to throw Jack with a back body drop. Flying through the air, Jack lands on a pile of leaves, but soon as he collides, the leaves disperse to reveal a mound of barbed wire underneath. Jack screams in pain as the camera zooms in on his bloody back while he pries himself off of the mound. Payaso is quick to follow up, grabbing Jack and pulling him to his feet.
Jimmy Garcia: Hidden barbed wire! This might be one of the more dangerous matches of Jack's career if he can't manage to gain control over his crumbling plan.
Payaso runs up and leaps off an adjacent tree and hits Jack with Golpe de la Mariposa. Quickly, Payaso goes for a pin.
JACK SCHLONGSON KICKS OUT!
Payaso, spending no time arguing with the referee, grabs Jack and pulls him back to his feet. He runs for another Golpe de la Mariposa, but before he can do so Jack grabs Payaso's mask in an attempt to pull it off. Payaso scrambles and pulls himself away, pulling his mask all the way back on, but in the distraction, Jack kicks him in the gut and hooks his leg for another STS.
Jimmy Garcia: This might be it!
Jack smiles, but looking in the distance, his smile disappears and he tosses Payaso to the side. Allen comes into frame, brass knuckles in hand. Jack lifts his arms to protect himself, but Allen hesitates and smiles, before turning to Payaso and slamming him hard with Brass Knuckles right in the jaw.
Jimmy Garcia: WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!
Jack lowers his arms and looks in confusion. He looks down at Payaso, and after a moment of hesitation, goes for the pin.
Taylor Lorde: Your winner and STILL UCI TELEVISION CHAMPION! JACK "THE CRACK" SCHLONGSON!
The title is handed over to Jack, who clutches it close, but as he does so, Allen Walker walks up and bumps chests with the champ.
Allen Walker: I only did this, because I want to kick YOUR ass for that title, got it?
Allen smiles as the bewildered Jack before walking off.
UCI Hypermedia Championship
Cabin in the Woods Deathmatch
Corey Black (c) vs. L Verez
Taylor Lorde: This next contest is a Cabin in the Woods Deathmatch, and is for the UCI Hypermedia Championship! There are no count outs, no disqualifications, no pinfalls, or submissions. The only way to win is to incapacitate your opponent to the point where the referee feels he must stop the match.
Gravedigger: Where the hell does Spencer come up with these stipulations?
Jimmy Garcia: Word is L Verez actually came up with this one.
Gravedigger: No wonder it sounds so ridiculous.
Taylor Lorde: Furthermore, the weapons within the Cabin have been suggested by the UCI Universe!
The crowd pops huge.
Gravedigger: Was that the thing's idea as well?
Sebastian Reid: No, I believe that one was actually Spencer's idea.
Gravedigger: Hell, they actually agreed on something? What in the world…?
Translucent purple rings flutter up and down until an image appears. That image is L Verez and her teleporter. L wearing a special black and orange attire for the occasion. L looks at her surroundings. She sees the cabin in front of her, as well as the lake to the left and the woods to the right. She notices the drone, but pays it no mind once she sees the crowd in the distance, cheering her on. They seem to all have 3-D glasses on...
Gravedigger: Tell me again how they were able to bring these bleachers, as well as this many people to the area?
Sebastian Reid: Very strategically.
Through the woods comes the UCI Hypermedia Champion, Corey Black, holding a machete, and wearing a hockey mask, as well as his title around his waist. L enters the cabin, testing to see if the Hypermedia Champion will follow.
Gravedigger: Guys… I have a confession to make.
Sebastian Reid: Enlighten us, Digger.
Gravedigger: I… I'm actually… rooting for the space tranny.
Jimmy Garcia: What!? Who are you, and what did you do with Gravedigger!?
Gravedigger: Oh, shut up, jabroney! I'm still upset about what Black did to me a few weeks ago, okay!?
Sebastian Reid: Corey Black is approaching the cabin now. Let's see what lies beneath this treacherous structure.
Corey Black walks in to see an awaiting L Verez, also accompanied by our astound RefBot, surrounded by all types of weapons. Some more conventional than others. L, however, isn't holding anything. Corey Black lets out a laugh.
Corey Black: Decided to make this easy for me, huh?
L stands, eyeing the champion. Corey swings his machete towards L.
Gravedigger: Dammit, no! Why did it have to go stupid as soon as I--- oh shit… I take that back.
Before the machete could touch the flesh of L Verez, it was blocked by laser claws that came out of L’s left glove. The confidence completely drained away from Corey Black's face.
L Verez: No way in hell are you getting out of this one unscathed, Black!
Sebastian Reid: Kick to the arm from L! Black is unarmed!
Gravedigger: Damn! She just slashed the mask!
Jimmy Garcia: I think she got a bit of the beard too!
Black boots L in the chest, pushing her to the wall. He then searches for one of the fans choice of weapons, and finds…
Gravedigger: Oh, what the fuck is this?
Jimmy Garcia: The madman is dropping Legos all over the floor!
Gravedigger: As silly as that sounds, I think I'd rather land on thumbtacks than Legos…
Corey grabs L, but is struck by a weapon that L seems to have found.
Gravedigger: I can't decide whether I hate the fans for this, or whether I love them… but Corey Black just got fucking mauled with a dildo bat. And not just ANY dildo bat, but a GODDAMN DRAGON DILDO BAT!
Gravedigger: Holy damn! Black just got whacked in the face with a dildo bat, and landed on his own mess of Legos!
The RefBot checks on Corey Black, who shoves it away. He angrily rolls over in pain, only to be met by a midsection soccer kick from L Verez.
Gravedigger: At least the thing I'm rooting for knows how to show some aggression. Space tranny ain't playing no games today.
Jimmy Garcia: That was a double negative…
Gravedigger: This is why no one likes you, Garcia.
Sebastian Reid: L looking to keep this match quick paced as she picks up the Hypermedia Champion.
L throws Corey back first to the wall. She searches for another weapon, but then notices that the Cabin is bigger than she imagined. She goes towards Corey, but he quickly knees L to the gut. Corey grabs her by the hair and takes her to another room in the cabin, picking up his machete on the way.
Gravedigger: I don't like his intentions…
Sebastian Reid: Agreed. Corey's out for blood.
Once they get to the room, which looks to be what used to be a dining room, L trips Corey Black, making him fall into a bear trap.
Sebastian Reid: A very strong start for L! Corey Black can't seem to keep any momentum going.
Gravedigger: That won't last… I know Black all too well…
Black tries to keep L away by swinging his machete. L begins to walk away, until Black throws the machete at her, but she quickly dodges it, and then…
Jimmy Garcia: Bicycle Superkick to the champ, and he's back on the ground!
Sebastian Reid: L looking for a new weapon, it seems. Let's see what else the fans have gifted these two.
Gravedigger: Ahh, gross. It found a bucket of candy corn. Worst candy ever… and it's eating some of it!? Damn it, why is this the thing I'm rooting for?
L brings the bucket over to a stirring Corey Black, and dumps it all over him. He pushes her off, obviously frustrated. When she begins to walk back over to him, he low blows her.
Sebastian Reid: No rules in this bout. What he did was completely legal.
Gravedigger: Yeah, but still a dick move… if you know what I mean.
Jimmy Garcia: Wow! A fireman's carry from Black, making L land on the pile of candy corn! I didn't think we'd see any wrestling moves in this match!
Gravedigger: Black lives and breathes wrestling. It's in his instincts to use them when necessary, which is what he did here.
Jimmy Garcia: Black getting himself out of the bear trap now. Throwing the bucket onto L out of anger! Picking up L now.
Jimmy Garcia: And threw some dinner chairs, she goes!
Gravedigger: As I said, the momentum wasn't going to last for long.
Corey breaks the leg off one of the chairs, and repeatedly whacks L with it. Then he takes the rest of the chair and..
Jimmy Garcia: My God! Breaking the chair over L! She is not looking good here!
The RefBot checks on L, but Black pushes it out of the way. Corey stomps on L a couple times before going back for his machete. He grabs it and walks back over to L. She shoulder tackles him, but he quickly grabs her and tosses her.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh my god! L just got sent through a window! Black just ejected her from the cabin!
Gravedigger: There's that odd looking blue blood pouring out of some nasty cuts. Star Trek bitch is in trouble.
Black once again pushes the RefBot out of his way, and then uses his machete to break off the rest of the glass from the window before using it to exit the cabin. He goes over towards L, and raises his machete.
Gravedigger: This is it… she's dead.
Sebastian Reid: Did you just refer to her as a she!?
Gravedigger: What? No! You're hearing things!
Just before the machete can pierce L’s skin, she's just barely able to block it with her laser claws.
Sebastian Reid: Freddie vs Jason?
Gravedigger: Freddie vs Jason.
The tribute to the horror icons begins, as both L and Corey slash at each other, consistently deflecting each strike. The battle goes on, which each strike getting slower, but more fierce, until L’s feet are near the waters of the lake. She's just barely able to kick Corey back, however. He goes to strike, but hears grass shuffling.
Gravedigger: My god… I'm blind.
Sebastian Reid: What in the world?
Everyone is thrown off by the sight that they are seeing. Kevin Bishop has appeared, dancing in what looks to be a tutu. He dances towards Corey Black.
Kevin Bishop: I hate all of you for this.
Gravedigger: No matter how he's dressed, Bishop is still a badass. He can't hit a Black Death with the ropes from a ring, but he can sure as hell hit you with a spinning heel kick to the face!
Jimmy Garcia: Which is exactly what he did to Corey Black!
Gravedigger: Spear! L hit a damn spear to the gut of Corey Black! Right into the lake!
The fight goes underwater as Kevin Bishop gracefully dances away in his fabulous tutu. L made sure to recede her claws before spearing Black into the lake. Both of them elbow each other as they fight within Camp Crystal Lake. Corey ends up with the upper hand, and drags L out of the water. They end up back to the front of the cabin. You can hear the crowd cheering from a distance.
Jimmy Garcia: When will the elbows end? They're jaws are going purple!
Gravedigger: Until they lose their damn arms, it seems.
They go back through the front door. The fireplace is somehow lit up this time. Corey attempts to throw L into the fire, but she repeatedly elbows him in the gut, stopping his attempt.
Gravedigger: There's that massive discuss bicycle kick right to the jaw of Corey Black, landing once again onto the Lego ridden floor! It's shifted the momentum back it's way!
L looks for a weapon, but finds some sticks and marshmallows instead. She decides to toast the marshmallow, more like burn it into a crisp, and then walks over to the champ. She removes his hockey mask, and shoves the burning charcoal of a marshmallow into the face of Corey Black.
Gravedigger: Damn! I'd say that's cold, but it's actually smoking hot!
Sebastian Reid: L not giving Black any rest. Now throwing some of the Legos at the champion!
Gravedigger: Hey, look! It found a caramel apple!
Sebastian Reid: L takes a bite out of the apple, and then smashes it onto Corey's face!
Gravedigger: It must've been a bad apple.
Sebastian Reid: Headbutt from the champ! Damn, that made them both bleed! The red and blue blood mixed into purple!
Corey regains his posture, and throws L through the other side of the room, onto a door. He kicks her through the door, and she crashes down the stairs.
Jimmy Garcia: Bad landing for L. RefBot checking up on her. She might not be able to continue, guys!
Gravedigger: Black doesn't care. He's looking for more weapons!
Black checks out the room, which looks like some sort of dungeon, filled with more obscure weapons. He finds the one he wants, and walks toward L.
Gravedigger: Seriously? Another dildo?
Sebastian Reid: At least it's not a dragon dildo bat this time…
Gravedigger: Oh fuck! It's a goddamn shock dick! He's tasering Star Trek bitch with a fucking shock dick!
The RefBot pushes Corey, only to receive a big boot from the champ.
Gravedigger: Dammit, this isn't looking good for L at all…
Corey Black throws L into what looks to be some life sized wax statues.
Jimmy Garcia: Those look like wax replicas of Big Time Rush…
Gravedigger: I hate our fan base.
Sebastian Reid: Guys, there were bricks behind those replicas. L landed right on them!
Gravedigger: Fuckin’ A, this is bad…
The champ picks up L’s lifeless body by the throat and picks her up.
Corey Black: Should've gave up when you knew you couldn't beat me the first time, rook. Now you get to feel the wrath of the King of All Wres---FUCK!
Gravedigger: Brick to the dick! It got him with a brick to the dick!
L Verez: Doesn't feel good, huh?
L hits him with a headbutt of her own, recoiling her back onto the bricks, but knocks down the champ in the process.
Sebastian Reid: These two have taken some massive damage. Either way this goes, they're both going to be feeling this for a long time.
L finds a meat hook hanging from the ceiling. She takes the back of Black’s shirt, and hooks it on. She finds the lever that drags him up. L then looks for some other weapons to use, and finds some '80s hair band CDs. She throws them shuriken style to Black's face.
Jimmy Garcia: That's one way to do it…
Gravedigger: What does it think it is, a ninja?
The hook eventually rips the back of the shirt, letting Black free, but not without a rough fall to the floor. L begins to go towards Black, but is sidetracked by one of the weapons. Black finds one of his own. They both grab one at the same time.
Gravedigger: No fucking way.
Sebastian Reid: The fans thought of everything…
The familiar buzzing sound lets off a huge pop from the crowd, so loud that even L and Black can hear it. This means none other than a…
Gravedigger: LIGHTSABER BATTLE!!!
L with a blue saber, Black with a red saber, they swing at each other, deflecting each strike. This continues until they both run low on stamina. Black eventually kicks the saber out of L’s arm. He swings his saber at L, but she's able to kick his saber off as well.
Gravedigger: Even playing field now.
Sebastian Reid: What more can these two possibly do?
L and Corey seem to stutter towards one another, panting like dogs. Both showcasing a looking of intensity.
Jimmy Garcia: Corey laughing at the challenger! They’ve given it everything tonight! What else can either possible pull out?
The floor creaks as the two near each other, Corey continues snickering as L screams out in frustration before leaping forward with a crossbody block.
Gravedigger: WHAT THE HELL?!
Dust fills the inside of the cabin as the contents inside shake. The camera and refbot both move to the location of the two competitors, a large hole where the floor has given way to reveal a dingy old cellar.
Sebastian Reid: Both competitors crashing through the floorboards!
Jimmy Garcia: One figure to their feet! We’ve got a survivor!
DING DING DING!!
Refbot signals to the wobbled survivor who smiles up through the hole before collapsing from exhaustion.
Gravedigger: L Verez just won the Hypermedia Championsh-
Static fills the screen before the shot cuts to black. The only thing audible being a familiar “ki ki ki...ma ma ma!”
Killing Floor Match
UCI World Championship on the line
Zombie McMorris (c) vs. Kevin Bishop vs. Bonnie Blue vs. Andre Holmes vs. Alex Richards vs. Celeste Mallory vs. Corey Bull vs. Oblivion vs. Preecha Kamon
Sebastian Reid: It’s almost that time, boys. It’s been one of, if not the biggest show in UCI history and we’re about to finish things off with a bang!
Jimmy Garcia: You talk about the biggest show, this is about to be the biggest MATCH we’ve ever seen in UCI!
Gravedigger: Six people who have held the gold and three other competitors looking for their first. This is going to be insane.
Sebastian Reid: On paper, it looks like Zombie McMorris could be in for a bad night with this much firepower coming for his crown. Corey Bull, Oblivion, Preecha Kamon, Celeste Mallory, Alex Richards, Andre Holmes, Bonnie Blue, and Kevin Bishop! This is unprecedented!
Gravedigger: It’s ZMAC though. This guy thrives under these conditions. If anything, I see eight competitors who are in for a rude awakening.
Jimmy Garcia: You know, I didn’t think last year’s Killing Floor could be topped, but this field will definitely give that match a run for it’s money!
Sebastian Reid: Speaking of this match, what do you say we give those watching a rundown of the match?
Jimmy Garcia: With nine participants, it seems that we’ve decided to mix things up a bit! Tonight will see these men and women fight inside of both a six-sided ring AND Killing Floor structure! Three participants will begin the match while six others will be locked into pods, awaiting their chance to enter the battlefield! The last competitor standing will walk out the winner of Killing Floor 2017 and UCI World Champion!
Gravedigger: Don’t forget about the elements that make this match so special either. Barbed wire cell walls, a plethora of weaponry stashed under the ring, and the ability to access that ringside area can all prove to be major factors.
Sebastian Reid: Definitely. It’s also important to note that pinfalls and submissions can take place anywhere!
Jimmy Garcia: With the stadium lights shining bright over Camp Crystal Lake and the structure now being locked into place, let’s turn things over to Taylor Lorde!
DING DING DING!!
Taylor Lorde: The following is the Killing Floor match and is for the UCI World Championship!
Gravedigger: Big round of applause from those joining us tonight, very intimate crowd.
Sebastian Reid: Stage lights shining down on the entrance area, who will be the first to step into a pod tonight?
Jimmy Garcia: Here comes Preecha Kamon!
Sebastian Reid: Bit of a rocky start in UCI for Preecha, but a big win over Shadowlove and Corey Bull last week has put Preecha Kamon in tonight’s main event!
Gravedigger: Kamon by himself tonight, bit different than we’re used to seeing.
Jimmy Garcia: Well, Preecha still has two Guardians allies in there with him!
Sebastian Reid: Indeed, but he’s appeared to have formed a little bad blood with a certain someone else..
Gravedigger: Before you ask, yes, it will come into play and it will be a sight to see!
Jimmy Garcia: Let’s talk about what chance Preecha stands in this, highly skilled offensively and although he has definitely had that rocky start, this man has experience against talent of this caliber!
Sebastian Reid: He keeps elite company in The Guardians too and you know that’s a big factor.
Gravedigger: Not if you ask Preecha it’s not. Kamon is firmly behind the “every man for himself” approach going into this. This one is all about the love and respect of competition in it’s purest form.
Jimmy Garcia: Preecha close in now, looking to our next entrant!
Sebastian Reid: Here comes The Archduke!
Gravedigger: Alex Richards one of five former world champions looking to grab another tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: It’s important to note that not only has Alex Richards been here before, but he was also last year’s runner up, coming very close to winning it all and retaining the UCI World Championship!
Sebastian Reid: Well, Alex Richards has consistently been at this level for pretty much his whole UCI tenure. This is The Archduke’s wheelhouse!
Gravedigger: This is a lot tougher of a field to navigate than the inaugural Killing Floor though. More challenges, more opponents, this is only going to get harder from here.
Jimmy Garcia: Former world champ, two time and current tag team champion, and the first ever Watch the Throne winner! He’s part of the reason this match is considered as big of a challenge as it is!
Sebastian Reid: Last year, Richards also fighting most of that match with what was believed to be a serious concussion.
Gravedigger: I’d take a guess and say Richards has fought a lot of matches in a similar state.
Jimmy Garcia: He’s battle hardened, that’s for sure!
Sebastian Reid: It looks like Richards does indeed get a bit more of a rest this year, filling up a second pod now, but you know a guy like Alex Richards must be itching to enter this thing officially.
Jimmy Garcia: Huge return here, Celeste Mallory is here at Camp Crystal Lake!
Gravedigger: First we’ve seen of the returning Celeste in many months and the buzz has been unreal!
Sebastian Reid: Those that have been following UCI for awhile know that this woman is dangerous in the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: You’re not kidding! Winning a Rising Stars title in her debut and holding the world title last November as well!
Gravedigger: For those that don’t know how sadistic this woman can be, all you need to do is go back and see what she did in this match a year ago in Killing Floor.
Sebastian Reid: She wasn’t in that one too long, but her fellow competitors definitely felt the impact especially Alex Richards who had a fingernail plied off by Celeste early in that match!
Jimmy Garcia: Don’t forget, that very personal feud between Andre Holmes and Celeste Mallory is sure to be sparked once again when these two meet tonight!
Gravedigger: One hundred percent yes. Celeste has gotten into the mind of Andre Holmes before as has he to her. They are each other’s greatest threat in this match.
Sebastian Reid: Perhaps the time away will allow Celeste to refocus of her attention on that UCI title!
Jimmy Garcia: Celeste becoming the third to be locked away inside those pods, three still remain empty!
Gravedigger: Here comes the first ever two time world champ.
Sebastian Reid: Another very accomplished man, one of the biggest faces in both UCI and the sport as a whole today!
Jimmy Garcia: He got his start in UCI around this time last year and made a big time impression finishing third in Killing Floor!
Gravedigger: Kevin Bishop has dominated much of 2017, recording the longest UCI title reign to date.
Sebastian Reid: Bishop is a proud competitor and now, he comes into Killing Floor without any distractions and you gotta think, Kevin Bishop becoming a three time UCI World Champ in less than a year’s time is on not just Bishop’s mind, but the minds of eight other competitors as well.
Jimmy Garcia: Well, I’m sure it’s a thought in the minds of the entire UCI locker room tonight!
Gravedigger: Bishop now, quick coming down to the structure and quick to get locked away.
Sebastian Reid: The sooner he’s in there, the sooner we’ll be under way!
Jimmy Garcia: Still five more competitors to enter and here comes another!
Gravedigger: Ohhhhh boy…
Sebastian Reid: Corey. Bull. What can we say about this man?
Jimmy Garcia: You really just have to see for yourself!
Gravedigger: Corey Bull is a freak of a powerhouse who in just a very short time, has managed to make some major waves in UCI.
Sebastian Reid: While not undefeated, the opposition has yet to solve the puzzle that Corey Bull presents in the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: A bit of a devious, complex mind with a penchant for dishing out pain. Killing Floor might as well be Bull’s middle name!
Gravedigger: At the very least, Corey Bull is going to hurt a lot of people tonight.
Sebastian Reid: What if The Hatebringer walks out as UCI World Champion.
Jimmy Garcia: A very real possibility that everyone else with a contract better pray isn’t the outcome tonight!
Gravedigger: Luckily, it looks like Bull will be locked away as well to start this off.
Sebastian Reid: Of course, that leaves just one pod left. Who’s it gonna b-
Jimmy Garcia: Um...stadium lights cutting out here. Please hang with us for a moment, ladies and gentlemen, as we hopefully will have this figured out soon..
Gravedigger: Wait, lights back on!
Sebastian Reid: The sixth and final pod now occupied and it’s Andre Holmes!
Jimmy Garcia: The inaugural Killing Floor winner and first triple crown champion is here!
Gravedigger: Interesting way to make an entrance.
Sebastian Reid: It doesn’t look like Richards is having any of it either, pounding his fists against his own pod. He wants a piece of Andre Holmes NOW!
Jimmy Garcia: Holmes with the cold stare for his former Guardians teammate!
Gravedigger: Smart approach, keeping the emotions under wraps and letting Richards do the complete opposite.
Sebastian Reid: A repeat as Killing Floor winner has to be the primary focus for Andre Holmes right now.
Jimmy Garcia: New motivation and a dark side we’d only maybe gotten a glimpse of before a couple months ago!
Gravedigger: He’s got multiple enemies, yet, Andre Holmes is a favorite among many.
Sebastian Reid: Pods all locked in and we know the final three who will start out this year’s Killing Floor match inside the ring!
Jimmy Garcia: Here comes the first of those three!
Gravedigger: Bonnie Blue sprinting down to the Killing Floor structure, sights set on Andre Holmes as well.
Sebastian Reid: Of course, another extremely decorated competitor and surefire first ballot hall of famer!
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie practically screaming at officials, The Guardians are not messing around with Holmes tonight!
Gravedigger: Well, it’s gotten extremely personal, but Bonnie and Alex are doomed if they don’t pull it back in before the start of this match.
Sebastian Reid: You’re right. They need to get their emotions under wraps and fast!
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie might want to pay attention, because one of her first challenges has just arrived and it’s a big one!
Gravedigger: The Monster….is here.
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion, former UCI TV champ and very accomplished hall of fame level competitor in promotions like WCF.
Jimmy Garcia: Similar style to another Killing Floor entrant, Corey Bull, who is still locked behind his pod!
Gravedigger: Imagine those two goliaths trading blows tonight!
Sebastian Reid: That’d be a sight to see, Preecha eyeing Oblivion at the moment though!
Jimmy Garcia: Well, Preecha hasn’t taken too kindly at all to IT’s recent actions and would love to teach him a lesson!
Gravedigger: I’m sure Oblivion feels like a kid on Christmas morning right now and Preecha is just another “meatsack” to The Monster tonight.
Sebastian Reid: I can’t really argue that one.
Jimmy Garcia: That leaves just one and the world champ has arrived on the scene!
Gravedigger: Zombie McMorris, arguably the biggest and most formidable force in UCI EVER and in record time!
Sebastian Reid: The odds have been stacked against ZMAC tonight, guys!
Jimmy Garcia: If anyone is going to succeed under this kind of pressure, defending the world title against eight very capable opponents, it’s UCI’s first grand slam champion!
Gravedigger: He’s a glutton for punishment and that’s perhaps the biggest advantage that anybody has in this one.
Sebastian Reid: Well, he can dish it out too.
Jimmy Garcia: There very well may not be a happy ending for any of the eight hopefuls. ZMAC is the type of boss battle that very rarely presents you with a window of true opportunity.
Gravedigger: Bowser has come to UCI, stolen it’s princess, and has been hitting it ever since.
Sebastian Reid: That’s… a bit disturbing.
Jimmy Garcia: Regardless, this is the moment that nine men and women have prepared!
Gravedigger: ZMAC handing the belt off to the official as the structure is now being locked up.
Sebastian Reid: No turning back now!
Jimmy Garcia: Gentlemen...it….is….time!
DING DING DING!!
Gravedigger: For those just now joining us, Oblivion, Zombie McMorris, and Bonnie Blue starting things off and you can feel the vibrations right now.
Sebastian Reid: Three big hitters, three hall of fame careers in this business!
Jimmy Garcia: Not wasting much time getting started, Bonnie Blue out of the gate with some alternating kicks on both Oblivion and ZMAC!
Gravedigger: Kick to Oblivion’s gut from Bonnie, bounding off the ropes at ZMAC.
Sebastian Reid: Boot from ZMAC!
Jimmy Garcia: He pulls Oblivion in! Could this be an elimination already?!
Gravedigger: AXE WOUND TO OBLIVION!
Sebastian Reid: No pinfall attempt from ZMAC.
Jimmy Garcia: He’s just soaking it in right now, making a statement early!
Gravedigger: Turning his attention to Bonnie it seems, lifting Blue up now.
Sebastian Reid: Elbows from Bonnie, trying her hardest to avoid a bad situation early on!
Jimmy Garcia: The champ stumbling towards the ropes here, Bonnie still atop his shoulders!
Gravedigger: Bonnie pulls down with the legs though, both competitors toppling over to the outside!
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie doing a decent job so far of avoiding ZMAC’s hard hitting offense.
Jimmy Garcia: She doesn’t really have another choice! ZMAC brings very simple, very effective attacks to the table that very few have shown to be able to match!
Gravedigger: Bonnie to her feet now, charging toward the champ.
Sebastian Reid: McMorris catching the arm.
Jimmy Garcia: He whips Bonnie Blue hard into that ring post!
Gravedigger: Yanking her right back up though, ZMAC has hold around the waist.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie sent shoulder first into the ring steps!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC standing tall, but it looks like he’s got company!
Gravedigger: What is he doing?!
Sebastian Reid: TOPE SUICIDA FROM OBLIVION AND ZMAC IS SENT HARD INTO THE BARBED CELL WALL!
Crowd: This is awesome! *clap clap clap clap clap*
Jimmy Garcia: This is awesome! Big action so far to start this one off!
Gravedigger: Oblivion favoring the neck a bit, still recovering from that Axe Wound it seems.
Sebastian Reid: Pulling up ZMAC now.
Jimmy Garcia: Oblivion with the military press on the champ!
Gravedigger: He drops him on the ring apron!
Sebastian Reid: Sickening sound echoing through the woods with that one!
Jimmy Garcia: Targeting Bonnie now, Oblivion looking strong after a bit of a rough start!
Gravedigger: Bonnie searching under the apron, looking for an equalizer.
Sebastian Reid: Well...that’s a first.
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie brandishing a tennis racket now!
Gravedigger: The Monster leaping through the air, gore from Oblivion!
Sebastian Reid: Blue sidesteps just in time!
Jimmy Garcia: Racket caught around Oblivion’s neck, the monster back up quickly though!
Gravedigger: Oblivion trying to free the racket.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie with a swinging kick to the back of the leg though.
Jimmy Garcia: She grabs hold of the back of his head!
Gravedigger: My god!
Sebastian Reid: She drives the end of that racket hard into Bishop’s pod!
Jimmy Garcia: I wouldn’t be surprised if The Monster is coughing up blood after that one!
Gravedigger: Excellent strategy there, really taking advantage of the environment.
Sebastian Reid: All three competitors are so far!
Jimmy Garcia: While fighting the long game is often advised in a match of this magnitude, big spots are definitely needed to get the upper hand and try to win this thing!
Gravedigger: Well, they don’t have terribly long until a fourth joins them.
Sebastian Reid: Nobody eliminated yet either, but that all can change in a match like this!
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie reaching under for a weapon once more!
Gravedigger: Steel chair in hand now, keeping it simple and effective.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie stepping to ZMAC, motioning for the champ to get up.
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC to his feet, Bonnie swings!
Gravedigger: FALCON PUNCH!
Sebastian Reid: Chair shot hard into Bonnie’s on face!
Jimmy Garcia: First blood has been drawn!
Gravedigger: Blood pouring from Bonnie’s face, the nose has to be broken!
Sebastian Reid: Broken nose? ZMAC just broke his freaking hand!
Jimmy Garcia: Wow..
Gravedigger: ZMAC’s fingers bent and contorted from that one!
Sebastian Reid: He knows it too, could be a major mistake on the champs part!
Jimmy Garcia: Determined though, ZMAC doing his best to snap those fingers back into place!
Gravedigger: Damn right he’s determined, there’s no bigger match than this and he knows it!
Sebastian Reid: Using the good hand, dragging Bonnie toward the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Managing to roll Blue in, he follows after.
Gravedigger: ZMAC pulling himself up with the ropes, grabbing a fist full of Bonnie’s hair.
Sebastian Reid: Elbow to the temple from Bonnie though, getting ZMAC into position!
Jimmy Garcia: She lifts him up!
Sebastian Reid: WEEPING ANGEL! IT CONNECTS!
Gravedigger: Pin from Bonnie!
Jimmy Garcia: Early kickout from the champ, not even a two count!
Sebastian Reid: There’s that endurance from ZMAC!
Gravedigger: Bonnie on top of things right now, getting back to her feet, but the blood continues to pour.
Sebastian Reid: That cut is getting bad, Digger.
Jimmy Garcia: The countdown clock is up, she knows she has no time to worry about anything else except that first pod!
Sebastian Reid: Andre Holmes is free!
Jimmy Garcia: Things are about to get interesting!
Gravedigger: Holmes is in the ring, him and Bonnie staring down.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie focused in, wiping the blood away once more.
Jimmy Garcia: They’re off! Here we go!
Gravedigger: Big moment that a lot of people have been waiting for, Andre Holmes and Bonnie Blue squaring off.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie going for a spinning kick to the gut, working thus far.
Jimmy Garcia: No! Big elbow shot from Andre Holmes!
Gravedigger: He throws her to the outside.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie flying out and she hits hard!
Jimmy Garcia: Andre dipping out of the ring now, joining Bonnie and Blue not looking in the best shape at the moment!
Gravedigger: Holmes stomping away, keeping her down.
Sebastian Reid: Mounting Bonnie now and Holmes getting creative as well in this one!
Jimmy Garcia: Andre Holmes with a cord in hand!
Gravedigger: That cord running under the structure, not sure if it’s for sound or what, but Holmes is getting some twisted ideas right now.
Sebastian Reid: Holmes wrapping the cord around Bonnie’s neck, trying to choke The Daughter of Time out!
Jimmy Garcia: Not an early elimination, not like this!
Gravedigger: Bonnie struggling and Holmes just pulling tighter on the cord.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie starting to turn blue!
Jimmy Garcia: Holmes releases it just in time!
Gravedigger: He leaves her gasping for air, but it looks like he’s got company!
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion behind him, Holmes back to his feet!
Jimmy Garcia: Hard shot under the jaw from Oblivion!
Gravedigger: There’s another from him.
Sebastian Reid: On the dot with that, Oblivion lifting Holmes up!
Jimmy Garcia: Just carrying him by the throat, insane strength by Oblivion!
Gravedigger: Looking for the chokeslam over the ring steps.
Sebastian Reid: Holmes striking with the free arm, looking to free himself!
Jimmy Garcia: DDT from Andre Holmes!
Gravedigger: Oblivion’s head and neck just crushed by that one!
Sebastian Reid: Holmes right back up, coughing a bit from The Monster’s grip!
Jimmy Garcia: Turning his sights back toward Bonnie!
Gravedigger: He’s acquired his target and he’s not letting up!
Sebastian Reid: Dragging Ms. Blue toward the ring post, not sure what he’s doing here.
Jimmy Garcia: Oh no..
Gravedigger: Andre positioning Bonnie’s face against the ring post.
Sebastian Reid: He can’t...this is murder!
Jimmy Garcia: Unfortunately for Bonnie and many others, there’s very little in the way of law in Killing Floor!
Gravedigger: He squares up.
Sebastian Reid: THRUST KICK!
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie rolls out just in time!
Gravedigger: Holmes getting all post on that one!
Sebastian Reid: You know that one had to hurt him!
Jimmy Garcia: Holmes favoring it a bit, but that doesn’t appear to stomp the assault on Bonnie Blue!
Gravedigger: Andre laying into her with some more stomps and kicks.
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC is up in the ring, Holmes doesn’t see him!
Jimmy Garcia: The champ out on the apron now, Andre is oblivious!
Gravedigger: ZMAC takes off.
Sebastian Reid: MY GOD!
Jimmy Garcia: Yakuza kick from ZMAC!
Gravedigger: Holmes sent flying through his own pod!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Sebastian Reid: Damn near broke Holmes in half!
Jimmy Garcia: If anyone is capable of taking down this new version of Andre Holmes we’re seeing, it’s the champion!
Gravedigger: Zombie collecting himself, trying to use whatever window presents itself for crucial recovery.
Sebastian Reid: He’s out here early. He’s back to his feet and looking better than the rest of the field at the moment, but that can all change at a moment’s notice!
Jimmy Garcia: Z wanting to stay on Andre it appears, mounting The Relentless One with some stiff shots raining down!
Gravedigger: Zombie seems more intent on beating the life out of his opponents’ than getting the quick eliminations tonight.
Sebastian Reid: Bringing Holmes out of the pod, trying to get Holmes back in the ring and he manages to do just that.
Jimmy Garcia: Andre in the ring, but here comes Bonnie on the outside!
Gravedigger: Kendo stick to the back of the leg!
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie keeping a low profile in that recovery and fishing once more under the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Strategy paying off as she smacks it against Z’s back!
Gravedigger: Zombie back down and she slides in after Andre.
Sebastian Reid: Holmes back up, Blue pulling him in.
Jimmy Garcia: She’s looking for the Weeping Angel!
Gravedigger: Andre fighting it, knee to the gut as he drops down.
Sebastian Reid: Rolling her over the shoulders.
Jimmy Garcia: Andre running!
Gravedigger: BAD LANDING!
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie sent down once more!
Jimmy Garcia: Alone in the ring and it looks like he’s about to be joined by one more, second pod about to open in this one!
Gravedigger: Andre doesn’t look happy about this one!
Sebastian Reid: A lot of people focusing still on Andre Holmes versus The Guardians, but once again, he’s faced with perhaps his greatest rival!
Jimmy Garcia: Celeste Mallory at ringside, eyeing down last year’s Killing Floor winner!
Crowd: YES! YES! YES! YES!
Gravedigger: Andre with fire in his eyes, very little else in the way of expression though.
Sebastian Reid: Celeste walking the steps, bit of a wave to her rival.
Jimmy Garcia: Andre charging forward!
Gravedigger: Celeste backing up just a bit, playing this one smart.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie back up again, the resiliency of Bonnie Blue!
Jimmy Garcia: Andre turns around!
Gravedigger: Enzuigiri from Bonnie.
Sebastian Reid: Andre dropped to his knees now, Bonnie has him right she wants him!
Jimmy Garcia: She pulls him in!
Gravedigger: Can she connect?
Sebastian Reid: WEEPING ANGEL TO ANDRE HOLMES!
Jimmy Garcia: Pin on Andre!
Gravedigger: NO WAY!
Sebastian Reid: Andre Holmes has just been eliminated from Killing Floor!
Jimmy Garcia: Last year’s winner taken out just like that!
Gravedigger: Bonnie sitting up now, I don’t think she can believe it either!
Sebastian Reid: From last man standing to first man out!
Jimmy Garcia: That one took most of the energy out of Bonnie and now Celeste is poised to make her entry in this match known!
Gravedigger: Dipping between the ropes now, The Pretty Little Devil with a finger under Bonnie’s chin.
Sebastian Reid: She’s looking at that infamous gloved right hand!
Jimmy Garcia: Stir of Echoes could be on the way!
Gravedigger: What the hell?
Sebastian Reid: Lights out once again!
Jimmy Garcia: This can’t be good!
Gravedigger: This is never a good sign.
Sebastian Reid: Lights back on!
Jimmy Garcia: What is this?! Who are these people?!
Gravedigger: They look like a damn cult!
Sebastian Reid: Hockey masked individuals, all circling Bonnie Blue!
Jimmy Garcia: This is criminal!
Gravedigger: Bonnie Blue being beaten down by the mob!
Sebastian Reid: Lights out back out now.
Gravedigger: The electrical problems are insane tonight.
Jimmy Garcia: Back to it quickly, the masked figures nowhere to be found!
Sebastian Reid: Neither is Andre Holmes!
Gravedigger: Celeste Mallory in ring though, a bit surprised as the ring now littered with weapons!
Jimmy Garcia: Strange stuff going on at Crystal Lake tonight!
Sebastian Reid: Isn’t that kinda what it’s known for though?
Gravedigger: Celeste taking her pick of the tools right now.
Jimmy Garcia: Barbed wire bat selected by Celeste!
Sebastian Reid: If I’m another competitor in this match, I don’t want to see this coming at me. Celeste looking to put Negan to shame!
Gravedigger: Bat raised looking to crash into Bonnie’s ribs!
Jimmy Garcia: Oblivion behind her on the apron, grabbing hold!
Sebastian Reid: Celeste swinging back with all the momentum she can muster!
Gravedigger: Interesting sort of reverse headbutt to The Monster.
Jimmy Garcia: She spins around!
Sebastian Reid: Celeste cracking Oblivion with the bat and The Monster drops!
Gravedigger: No rest for Celeste as ZMAC climbs onto the apron as well here.
Jimmy Garcia: Mallory driving the end of the bat right into the champ’s face!
Sebastian Reid: Solid shot from Celeste, but ZMAC still cling onto the ropes with the bad hand!
Gravedigger: Another shot, right to the broken fingers of ZMAC!
Jimmy Garcia: The champion forced to let go!
Sebastian Reid: Turning to Bonnie now.
Gravedigger: Couple counter jabs to the gut from Bonnie Blue, trying to avoid Lucille.
Jimmy Garcia: Some quick strikes to Celeste and the bat falls!
Sebastian Reid: Celeste firing right back though, killing the momentum for Bonnie!
Gravedigger: She has her now.
Jimmy Garcia: BROKEN PROMISES!
Sebastian Reid: BONNIE IS OUT! THIS HAS TO BE IT!
Jimmy Garcia: BONNIE KICKS OUT! BONNIE KICKS OUT!
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie Blue is alive! I can’t believe what I’m seeing!
Gravedigger: Celeste unloading on Bonnie’s face, trying to open that cut further.
Jimmy Garcia: Vicious striking from Mallory, laying waste to The Daughter of Time!
Sebastian Reid: Another pin attempt from Celeste!
Gravedigger: Refusing to give up, Bonnie Blue wants this badly.
Sebastian Reid: Celeste turning up, shoving Bonnie toward the corner with her boot.
Gravedigger: Oblivion on the outside with ZMAC now.
Jimmy Garcia: Z charging at The Monster!
Sebastian Reid: Chokeslam from Oblivion!
Gravedigger: Oblivion up now, Celeste running toward the ropes.
Jimmy Garcia: Stiff uppercut from The Monster to Celeste!
Sebastian Reid: Celeste steps back in.
Gravedigger: The Monster with a second chokeslam, dropping Celeste in the ring!
Jimmy Garcia: Oblivion stepping into the ring now and we’re about to release another!
Sebastian Reid: Here comes UCI’s first two time world champion!
Gravedigger: Bishop dashing into the ring, head full of steam.
Jimmy Garcia: Laying into The Monster with some beautiful chops and kicks of his own!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop off the ropes!
Gravedigger: Tornado kick from Kevin Bishop!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop looking to the outside, ZMAC getting back up!
Sebastian Reid: No friends in the Killing Floor!
Gravedigger: Heat seeking missile!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC dodges!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop sent face first into the barbed cell!
Gravedigger: First Bonnie, now Bishop!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop came in looking great and ready to take this thing over, but just like that, the champion is able to change the entire mood with a little bit of perfect timing!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC looking over that broken hand once more as he goes under the ring.
Gravedigger: Weapons scattered about, but ZMAC looking for something different it appears.
Jimmy Garcia: Oblivion up in the ring, taunting ZMAC who rolls in with….a pumpkin?!
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion coming at Z with a big boot!
Gravedigger: ZMAC hits him with a pumpkin to the face!
Jimmy Garcia: Pulp and orange chunks everywhere as ZMAC shatters it across The Monster’s face!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC knocking himself off balance a bit as he launches that one.
Gravedigger: Celeste back up, brass knuckles slid over her own hand!
Jimmy Garcia: Thesz press from Mallory!
Sebastian Reid: Taking a page out of ZMAC’s own book as she lands some vicious rights with the brass knuckles!
Gravedigger: ZMAC opened up now just above the eyebrow.
Jimmy Garcia: Blood being drawn left and right tonight!
Sebastian Reid: Celeste to her feet, smirking down at the wounded champion.
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie from behind, roll up from Bonnie Blue!
Gravedigger: Mallory kicks up!
Sebastian Reid: Both rolling through to their feet!
Jimmy Garcia: Celeste steps off the corner!
Gravedigger: SUPERMAN PUNCH WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES FROM MALLORY!
Sebastian Reid: MY GOD!
Jimmy Garcia: Celeste throwing the hair out of her eyes after dropping Bonnie again with a wicked right hand!
Gravedigger: Bishop to his feet! Bishop scaling the top rope!
Sebastian Reid: Taking flight towards Celeste!
Jimmy Garcia: DARK AGE DESTROYER!
Gravedigger: Bishop hooks the leg!
Sebastian Reid: Celeste gets the shoulder up at two and a half!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop almost had her there, but we’ve still got five competitors active in this match!
Gravedigger: Bishop up, he spins around right into the waiting arms of The Monster!
Sebastian Reid: 5150!
Jimmy Garcia: Pin on Kevin Bishop!
Gravedigger: Not quite, Kevin Bishop busted open and taking a couple big moves, but still relatively fresh compared to the others currently set loose inside the Killing Floor structure.
Sebastian Reid: Bishop has two UCI world titles to his name already, he’s ready to take a third and it’s gonna take a lot more to keep down the leader of The Brotherhood!
Jimmy Garcia: Oblivion going to the outside, searching for a weapon under the ring now!
Gravedigger: Oblivion has been on the receiving end of some major damage tonight and now may be his best chance to turn things around.
Sebastian Reid: The starting three are really starting to show the fatigue and wear that comes with the territory!
Jimmy Garcia: A teddy bear?!
Gravedigger: Not something Oblivion cares to see I’m sure..
Sebastian Reid: The Monster chuckling to himself, appears to be shaking the stuffed bear a bit.
Jimmy Garcia: I think he knows something we don’t!
Gravedigger: Oblivion ripping the bear’s head off, laughing like a madman.
Sebastian Reid: He tips the bear upside down.
Jimmy Garcia: Looks like it was full of thumbtacks!
Gravedigger: A first for everything in this sport.
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC rolling out to join The Monster next to the cell wall.
Jimmy Garcia: Clubbing forearm from behind by McMorris!
Gravedigger: Oblivion turning around, he smashes Zombie over the head with a big forearm of his own.
Sebastian Reid: Uppercut by Oblivion!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC with one of his own!
Gravedigger: He goes for the boot.
Sebastian Reid: The Monster stepping out of the way just in time, some nice counter jabs from Oblivion as he fires back at the champ.
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC grabbing hold of Oblivion, Oblivion doing the same!
Gravedigger: Both men in a stalemate for control.
Sebastian Reid: They take a step back.
Jimmy Garcia: DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
Gravedigger: Both men landing on the tacks!
Sebastian Reid: LOOK OUT!
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie up, grabbing that top rope!
Gravedigger: JEE-ZUS CHRIST!
Sebastian Reid: SONIC SCREWDRIVER FROM BONNIE!
Jimmy Garcia: Picture perfect landing to both men on the outside!
Crowd: UCI! UCI! UCI! UCI!
Gravedigger: Bonnie feeling the hit as well on the outside and it’s time for another pod to open.
Sebastian Reid: We talked about this moment!
Jimmy Garcia: Corey Bull has just hit the Killing Floor and the hurt is on it’s way!
Gravedigger: Bull on the outside, he picks up Bonnie.
Sebastian Reid: Running powerslam to Bonnie Blue!
Jimmy Garcia: Taking some of the tacks as well in that landing!
Gravedigger: The Hatebringer looking to turn his attention to the weapons early as he goes under the apron now.
Sebastian Reid: I expected this to happen!
Jimmy Garcia: Corey Bull retrieving the signature logger chain!
Gravedigger: We’ve heard stories about Bull’s history with this in matchups and we’re about to see that approach put to the test!
Sebastian Reid: Bull swinging that chain!
Jimmy Garcia: He brings it down with authority across the guts of both Zombie and Oblivion!
Gravedigger: Little bit of punishment for everybody seems to be what’s on the menu tonight as Corey enters the ring finally.
Sebastian Reid: Bishop to his feet against The Hatebringer!
Jimmy Garcia: Codebreaker by Bishop!
Gravedigger: No! Bull with the flapjack counter!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop taken down quick by The Hatebringer, sights set on Celeste!
Jimmy Garcia: Bull prompting her to her feet!
Gravedigger: Celeste with the brass knuckles! Big right to Corey Bull!
Sebastian Reid: That one not quite enough to bring Bull down!
Jimmy Garcia: Another big right from Celeste!
Gravedigger: A bit more rocky after that, but he’s still standing.
Sebastian Reid: Celeste moving to the corner, looking for a running start.
Jimmy Garcia: It worked against Bonnie before pretty effectively!
Gravedigger: Celeste stepping off.
Sebastian Reid: Superman punch!
Jimmy Garcia: No! Bull catches her in the air!
Gravedigger: DOWNWARD SPIRAL!
Sebastian Reid: He makes the cover!
Jimmy Garcia: Celeste is eliminated! Corey Bull destroying everyone here and topping it off with the second elimination of the night!
Gravedigger: First Andre Holmes, now Celeste Mallory. That’s two former world champ gone already!
Sebastian Reid: The Killing Floor can do exactly that!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop back in this!
Gravedigger: Black Death from Kevin Bishop!
Sebastian Reid: No! Bull with the counter on Bishop!
Jimmy Garcia: A second downward spiral!
Gravedigger: Unbelievable! Corey Bull about to make it two!
Sebastian Reid: Corey Bull with the pin on Kevin Bishop! Can he get it?!
Jimmy Garcia: He finds a way out of it!
Crowd: BI-SHOP! BI-SHOP! BI-SHOP! BI-SHOP!
Gravedigger: Corey joined in the ring by ZMAC, the champ bringing another tool into the mix.
Sebastian Reid: A frying pan this time around!
Jimmy Garcia: Corey Bull is on a tear, but the champ isn’t having any of it!
Gravedigger: The Hatebringer swings at Zombie.
Sebastian Reid: Clocked upside the head with the frying pan, but Corey Bull still stands!
Jimmy Garcia: It may have realigned his jaw a little bit, but Corey Bull eats that one!
Gravedigger: Maybe a KO wasn’t what that was meant for..
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC hooks the arms!
Jimmy Garcia: He’s got Corey Bull right where he wants him!
Gravedigger: WORLD TOUR ‘69!
Sebastian Reid: Corey Bull comes into this matchup looking like a one man wrecking crew, but Zombie McMorris finally manages to take him down a peg, at least temporarily!
Jimmy Garcia: Getting someone down is the first step to making the playing field even again and World Tour ‘69 is a good way to do it!
Gravedigger: ZMAC up, backing toward the ropes now for a quick breather.
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie Blue catches him though, boat paddle in her hands now!
Jimmy Garcia: She cracks it hard across the tack covered back of the champion!
Gravedigger: Another hard smack across the back and the paddle has broken in half!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC spinning around, Bonnie gripping the top rope once more!
Jimmy Garcia: This is where she thrives, this is where Bonnie Blue is most comfortable!
Gravedigger: Bonnie jumping off the rope now.
Sebastian Reid: Hurricanrana by Bonnie Blue and ZMAC is sent flying across the ring!
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie making use of an extra life right now, running at ZMAC again!
Gravedigger: Arm around the head, swinging with the momentum.
Sebastian Reid: Tornado DDT from Blue!
Jimmy Garcia: Bonnie feeling it right now, going up the top turnbuckle now!
Gravedigger: Looking to take out the champ, but Oblivion leaps for her from the outside.
Sebastian Reid: The Monster yanks down hard on that left leg of Bonnie Blue and she’s sent hard onto the top of the post!
Jimmy Garcia: He shoves her off the top now and Bonnie crumples to the mat!
Gravedigger: Just as soon as you think you’re going to put something together, there always seems to be someone there to make it all come crashing down.
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion back down on the outside, lifting up the ring apron as the clock goes back up!
Jimmy Garcia: Preecha Kamon!
Gravedigger: That certainly grabbed Oblivion’s attention!
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion closing in on Preecha and Kamon looks ready to tear his head off!
Jimmy Garcia: Preecha feels Oblivion has made things between them personal and that’s not something you want against Preecha Kamon!
Gravedigger: A very prideful man is Preecha Kamon and he’ll be looking to settle the score in one of the biggest stages in UCI!
Sebastian Reid: Oblivion running in on Preecha now!
Jimmy Garcia: KAMON KANNON!
Gravedigger: Preecha catches Oblivion out of nowhere! Quick pin on the outside by Preecha Kamon!
Sebastian Reid: Just like that, Oblivion is taken out of the equation!
Jimmy Garcia: He’s been in this one since the beginning and just kicked his damn head off with all the heart and soul in his being!
Gravedigger: Andre Holmes, Celeste Mallory, and Oblivion all eliminated. This leaves only Bonnie Blue, Kevin Bishop, Corey Bull, Zombie McMorris, and Preecha Kamon active in the cell.
Sebastian Reid: Don’t forget, we’ve still got one more pod left to open and you know that Alex Richards must be growing restless as he watches all of this go down!
Jimmy Garcia: Corey Bull up in the ring, looking out at Preecha Kamon!
Gravedigger: Corey Bull looking to fly?!
Sebastian Reid: Hatebringer grabbing hold of the ropes himself now!
Jimmy Garcia: Crossbody over the top onto Preecha Kamon from The Hatebringer!
Gravedigger: Very unorthodox attack from Corey Bull.
Sebastian Reid: Yeah, you definitely won’t see that sort of thing from him very often if ever!
Jimmy Garcia: Bull rummaging under the ring again!
Gravedigger: You have to wonder if there’s any limit to what this man can come up with when it comes to hurting other people.
Sebastian Reid: He must see something he likes under there, looks like a bit of a smile forming through the mask.
Jimmy Garcia: Corey Bull pulling out a fishing spear!
Gravedigger: Does anybody know who decides what the hell they put under there? Because there are some crazy things coming into play tonight.
Sebastian Reid: Bull sizing up Kamon with the spear. I don’t like the look of this one bit.
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC to the outside, coming after Corey Bull with some big haymakers!
Gravedigger: I think the champ may have unintentionally saved Preecha from potentially career or life threatening injury.
Sebastian Reid: Bull shoving his boot into the midsection, knocking Zombie into the barbed cell!
Jimmy Garcia: The barbed wire appears to be stuck to the flesh on McMorris’ back!
Gravedigger: Corey Bull charging in with the spear!
Sebastian Reid: NO!
Jimmy Garcia: Spear sent through Zombie’s left shoulder!
Gravedigger: Things not looking good for the coked up madman after that, but Corey Bull managing to keep him restrained at the moment.
Sebastian Reid: Tangled in jagged metal and now impaled, The Hatebringer has ZMAC trapped!
Jimmy Garcia: Another boot from Corey Bull!
Gravedigger: He’s taking it all out on the champion right now!
Sebastian Reid: Bull under the ring again.
Jimmy Garcia: Looks like we’ve got tables entering the Killing Floor!
Gravedigger: Don’t think that one’s for ZMAC, but Bull still setting the table up just in front of Zombie.
Sebastian Reid: Making sure it’s set properly, Corey Bull now turning back to the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop back up in the ring and out he goes!
Gravedigger: Tope somersault from Bishop!
Sebastian Reid: Bull avoids it!
Jimmy Garcia: Kevin Bishop just took all of that table!
Gravedigger: This could be last year all over again!
Sebastian Reid: Bull dropping down for the pin on Kevin Bishop!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop gets the shoulder up before the count of three!
Gravedigger: Bull still in control after scouting that one just in time.
Sebastian Reid: Think again!
Jimmy Garcia: Bon-nie Bluuee!!!
Gravedigger: Tope somersault from Blue.
Sebastian Reid: BULL CATCHES HER!
Jimmy Garcia: POWERBOMB ON THE EDGE OF THE RING FROM COREY BULL!
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*
Gravedigger: Who can stop this man?
Sebastian Reid: Everyone in this match trying their best, but it’s only proven effective at the time.
Jimmy Garcia: I don’t think we’ve seen anything like Corey Bull before in UCI!
Gravedigger: Getting hold of Preecha now.
Sebastian Reid: Preecha Kamon tossed across ringside by The Hatebringer!
Jimmy Garcia: I’m not sure what UCI will have left for a roster after this! Corey Bull might wipe a third of it out in one night!
Gravedigger: He’s still got four opponents active and one about to be released, but Corey Bull stands tall over all of them.
Sebastian Reid: It looks like it’s time for our ninth and final participant! This is what Alex Richards has been waiting for!
Jimmy Garcia: The Archduke has entered the fray! Alex Richards pod slides open and he’s locked in on Corey Bull!
Gravedigger: Both men quickly looking under the ring for weaponry.
Sebastian Reid: Crowbar for Corey Bull!
Jimmy Garcia: Smart choice there, Richards pulling out his own equalizer!
Sebastian Reid: Definitely curious to see how this plays out!
Gravedigger: Bull with the crowbar raised, looking to take Richards’ head off.
Jimmy Garcia: Richards with other plans, throwing those fidget spinners like throwing stars!
Sebastian Reid: Not doing too much in the way of damage, but is enough of a distraction to where Bull has dropped his own weapon of choice!
Gravedigger: Bull to Richards now, swinging with a big right jab.
Jimmy Garcia: Richards firing back with one of his own!
Sebastian Reid: Hatebringer versus Archduke, heating up right from the get go!
Gravedigger: Bull trying to throw Richards into the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Alex flipping momentum on him, he’s got hold of the waist!
Sebastian Reid: Corey Bull driven back first into the ring’s edge!
Gravedigger: Dropped him with that one.
Jimmy Garcia: What Richards brings to this situation is the size that only Oblivion does against Corey Bull!
Sebastian Reid: He’s the freshest competitor in this matchup and looking to bring down the mountain of a man that is The Hatebringer!
Gravedigger: Richards under the ring skirt again.
Jimmy Garcia: Something heavy it looks like!
Sebastian Reid: Is that….what it looks like?
Gravedigger: It’s a god damn flamethrower!
Jimmy Garcia: Alex Richards with a flamethrower! Corey Bull is down and The Archduke might be looking to set him ablaze!
Sebastian Reid: Richards letting loose, spraying the flames across the cell wall!
Gravedigger: The wall is on fire, guys! This is insanity!
Jimmy Garcia: Killing Floor heating up here, Corey Bull up after Richards!
Sebastian Reid: Stiff kick to the gut from Corey Bull, he throws Richards into the wall!
Gravedigger: Richards shifts on him.
Jimmy Garcia: OHMYGOD!
Sebastian Reid: Corey Bull thrown hard into the flaming barbed wall!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Gravedigger: The Hatebringer shouting out in pain, Richards quick to roll him into the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Archduke joins him, both men to their feet!
Sebastian Reid: Big knee to the gut from Corey Bull!
Gravedigger: Insane to see someone recovering this quickly from an attack like the one Corey Bull just took, but he’s beating Richards down now.
Jimmy Garcia: Bull pulling Richards in here, Alex trying to fight free!
Sebastian Reid: Corey Bull perhaps looking to take his biggest physical threat out early!
Gravedigger: Bonnie Blue leaning against the ring on the outside, she’s got another weapon out as well.
Jimmy Garcia: IT’S BLANKY!
Sebastian Reid: NO WAY! NO FREAKIN’ WAY!
Gravedigger: You can’t be serious right now?
Jimmy Garcia: Blanky thrown over the ropes into the ring, Corey Bull charging at Blue!
Sebastian Reid: Low boot to Bonnie Blue!
Gravedigger: Bull taking out Blue there, but Richards back to his feet.
Jimmy Garcia: He’s got Blanky in hand! Blanky to the rescue!
Sebastian Reid: Bull turns around!
Jimmy Garcia: Blanky to the rescue!
Gravedigger: UCI has hit a new low..
Sebastian Reid: Richards has Bull tangled up in the blanket!
Jimmy Garcia: He pulls him toward the corner, Alex Richards getting Corey Bull in position!
Gravedigger: The blanket...is still...on Bull’s head. Can we do something about this one?
Sebastian Reid: I don’t think that’s gonna happen..
Jimmy Garcia: Richards pulling Bull in for a Sanity Slip!
Sebastian Reid: HE HITS IT! COULD THIS BE IT?!
Gravedigger: Well..pin on Corey Bull..
Jimmy Garcia: HE GETS IT! ALEX RICHARDS HAS ELIMINATED COREY BULL!
Sebastian Reid: Huge elimination for Alex Richards!
Gravedigger: That makes for just five competitors left. Alex Richards, Bonnie Blue, Preecha Kamon, Kevin Bishop, and Zombie McMorris!
Jimmy Garcia: Definitely makes this a more even playing field with Corey Bull now gone!
Sebastian Reid: Bonnie rolling herself back in and it’s Bonnie and Richards staring down now!
Jimmy Garcia: Could be an alliance or a Guardians showdown here!
Gravedigger: Both nodding their heads, may be thinking the same thing.
Sebastian Reid: Here we go!
Jimmy Garcia: Alex Richards and Bonnie Blue trading jabs, kicks, and elbows!
Gravedigger: It’s not the first time these two have faced off against one another.
Sebastian Reid: Yeah, but it’s definitely the biggest to date!
Jimmy Garcia: Guardians going at it, Preecha and Bishop up on the outside!
Gravedigger: Bonnie and Alex spot them, another nod of agreeance.
Sebastian Reid: Guardians taking off!
Jimmy Garcia: Suicida from Bonnie onto Preecha, she takes him out!
Gravedigger: Suicida from Richards.
Sebastian Reid: Bishop counters!
Jimmy Garcia: BLACK DEATH COUNTER!
Gravedigger: Bishop drops Richards with that one!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop crawling to the downed Archduke, trying for a pin attempt!
Jimmy Garcia: He hooks the leg!
Sebastian Reid: How in the world did Alex Richards kick out?!
Jimmy Garcia: With what felt like less than a tenth of a second as well!
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*
Gravedigger: Still five left on the Killing Floor.
Sebastian Reid: Bishop trying to sit Richards up enough to get him in the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: That’s a big man he dropped with that Black Death, lot of dead weight to try to move and Bishop has felt the toll of Killing Floor already!
Gravedigger: Well, he manages to do just that. Bishop barely able to get Alex Richards up and roll him inside.
Sebastian Reid: Both men inside, Bishop going up top as he waits for Richards.
Jimmy Garcia: Richards up, not looking so good on his feet here!
Gravedigger: DARK AGE DESTROYER!
Sebastian Reid: RICHARDS CATCHES HIM BY THE THROAT!
Jimmy Garcia: ZIM-QUILA HANGOVER!
Gravedigger: Richards scrambling, still some weapons scattered about from that hockey masked invasion earlier.
Sebastian Reid: Richards grabbing hold of one of them.
Jimmy Garcia: Cheese grater in hand, Richards on top of Kevin Bishop!
Gravedigger: Trying to apply the crossface and take Bishop out.
Sebastian Reid: Richards trying to shred his face to bits!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop with the hands up, fighting it off the best he can!
Gravedigger: Bishop pushing off, both men to their feet now.
Sebastian Reid: Headbutt from Richards!
Gravedigger: Bishop stumbling back.
Jimmy Garcia: Another big headbutt from Richards, this time using it like a battering ram right to the gut of Bishop!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop sent back into the ropes.
Gravedigger: Bishop gains footing, leaping up here.
Jimmy Garcia: BLACK DEATH FROM KEVIN BISHOP!
Sebastian Reid: IS IT ENOUGH?!
Gravedigger: Richards is out!
Jimmy Garcia: Impressive showing from Alex Richards tonight!
Sebastian Reid: We’re down to the final four! Just Bonnie Blue, Preecha Kamon, Kevin Bishop, and Zombie McMorris remain!
Gravedigger: Preecha slides in.
Jimmy Garcia: Preecha locking up with Kevin Bishop, he gets him in the clinch!
Sebastian Reid: Preecha throwing some hard clinch elbows!
Gravedigger: Here comes a combo from Kamon!
Jimmy Garcia: PREECHA PRAYER!
Sebastian Reid: Pin from Kamon!
Gravedigger: Not quite and here comes Bonnie Blue!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop rolling out of the ring to recharge and Bonnie and Bishop trading blows now!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop crawling a bit, looking under the apron!
Gravedigger: Looks like a pair of gloves?
Sebastian Reid: Two competitors in the ring, ZMAC trying to free himself from that cage trap set by Bull earlier in the match. Bishop pulling himself up now with the ring post as he slips the gloves on.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop dragging himself to the cage wall!
Gravedigger: I think he’s looking to climb it!
Sebastian Reid: Shades of Killing Floor 2016 right now when Bishop leapt from the top of a pod!
Jimmy Garcia: It looks like he’s going up higher this time!
Gravedigger: Apparently he’s Spider-Man.
Sebastian Reid: The champ yanking at the spear and it looks like he’s gotten free!
Jimmy Garcia: That went clean through Zombie’s shoulder!
Gravedigger: They’re all much more minor injuries when you’re Zombie freaking McMorris!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC looking up at Bishop now who is nearing the top of the damn Killing Floor cell!
Jimmy Garcia: No use going after him at this point as ZMAC slides in to join Preecha and Bonnie!
Gravedigger: Bishop upside down on the top of the cage. I think this may be a suicide attempt.
Sebastian Reid: Throwing caution to the wind, I suppose.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop right over the middle of the brawl, all three looking up at Kevin Bishop in unison!
Gravedigger: Don’t do it, Kevin!
Sebastian Reid: There’s only one way down and Bishop is saying his prayers right now!
Jimmy Garcia: BISHOP DROPS!
Gravedigger: BIG SPLASH!
Sebastian Reid: EVERYONE DOWN AFTER THAT ONE!
Crowd: YES! YES! YES! YES!
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop on top of Bonnie!
Gravedigger: Ref counting the pin!
Sebastian Reid: UNBELIEVABLE!
Jimmy Garcia: She’s been in this one from the opening bell! Kevin Bishop has eliminated both Alex Richards AND Bonnie Blue from this match!
Gravedigger: Just Kamon, Bishop, and Zombie left.
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC and Preecha near the ropes, both men doing all they can to will themselves to stay in it!
Jimmy Garcia: Spear knee to the gut from Preecha Kamon!
Gravedigger: Everything starting to feel like the last bit of effort these guys have in them as ZMAC is sent to the ground.
Sebastian Reid: Bishop just barely to his feet, Kamon pumping the crowd up!
Jimmy Garcia: KAMON KANNON ON THE WAY!
Gravedigger: Spinning backfist from Bishop!
Sebastian Reid: Belly to belly from Bishop!
Jimmy Garcia: Preecha Kamon down and rolling out!
Gravedigger: Just ZMAC and Bishop in the ring now and-
Sebastian Reid: Lights out again..
Jimmy Garcia: We should’ve known this would happen again, one of the most unusual nights we’ve had in UCI!
Gravedigger: Pitch black here at Crystal Lake.
Sebastian Reid: Well, you can hear something right now.
Jimmy Garcia: Sounds like metal on metal, not sure what’s going on but that screech is deafening!
Gravedigger: Sounds like a chainsaw..
Sebastian Reid: Little light rumbling now.
Jimmy Garcia: Lights are on!
Gravedigger: IS THAT?...
Sebastian Reid: It’s Leatherface!
Jimmy Garcia: Leatherface standing across from Bishop!
Gravedigger: Leatherface raising his trusty chainsaw up high!
Sebastian Reid: He closes in on Bishop!
Jimmy Garcia: Lights flickering now!
Gravedigger: What the hell?
Sebastian Reid: Leatherface is gone!
Jimmy Garcia: Chainsaw placed at Bishop’s feet as well!
Gravedigger: Well, ZMAC is crawling toward Bishop now and I think he’s just been givin’ a blessing from an unexpected guest here at Crystal Lake!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop picking it up and ZMAC is barely able to stand.
Jimmy Garcia: Zombie begging Bishop for it!
Gravedigger: Bishop with a quick slash across that injured shoulder!
Sebastian Reid: Sickening sound as ZMAC’s flesh is torn and ripped even further!
Gravedigger: He’s laughing at Kevin Bishop, ZMAC is enjoying this!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC still standing though! The Coked Up Madman is a damn god!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop raising the chainsaw high now!
Gravedigger: They might be boys, but everyone is an enemy in this one.
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC spitting in the face of Kevin Bishop!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop striking once again!
Gravedigger: He’s opened up the midsection!
Jimmy Garcia: Deep cut from the chainsaw and Zombie’s intestines are falling out of his stomach!
Sebastian Reid: Headbutt counter from ZMAC!
Gravedigger: Bishop on the mat and the chainsaw goes flying across the ring!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC is pulling out his intestines further!
Sebastian Reid: The champ dropping down on top of Bishop!
Gravedigger: INTESTINAL CROSSFACE!
Jimmy Garcia: I think I’m gonna be sick!
Sebastian Reid: Bishop was able to avoid a cheese grater variation from Richards earlier in the match, but ZMAC now using his insides to try to choke out Bishop!
Gravedigger: Bishop gagging, nowhere to go as these two struggle in the center of the ring.
Jimmy Garcia: Bishop shaking his head, muffled screaming coming from him!
Sebastian Reid: He doesn’t have a choice right now!
Gravedigger: There it is!
Jimmy Garcia: BISHOP IS FORCED TO TAP!
Sebastian Reid: We’ve seen disturbing moments in this sport, but NEVER anything quite like that!
Gravedigger: I feel like we need a moment to process what just happened..
Jimmy Garcia: That one’s going in the vault!
Sebastian Reid: I doubt we’ll see it on the DVD release though.
Gravedigger: ZMAC doing what he has to in order to survive. We’re down to just Zombie McMorris and Preecha Kamon!
Jimmy Garcia: Preecha and ZMAC both getting up, Preecha begging for it on the outside!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC leaning against the ropes now, shouting something at Preecha as he pushes his insides back into place.
Gravedigger: Preecha on the apron.
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC swings for him, but Preecha ducks!
Sebastian Reid: Couple solid elbows aimed at ZMAC’s temple there!
Gravedigger: ZMAC knocked back, but the champ charging out as he slides under the bottom rope.
Jimmy Garcia: Spinning backfist from Preecha Kamon!
Sebastian Reid: Preecha grabs hold of ZMAC’s arm, Irish whip from Kamon!
Gravedigger: ZMAC SENT THROUGH THE POD!
Jimmy Garcia: Second pod broken tonight!
Sebastian Reid: Preecha dragging ZMAC out for the pin!
Gravedigger: KICKOUT FROM ZMAC!
Jimmy Garcia: No time to overthink, Preecha pulling ZMAC back to his feet!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC not in good shape, some quick strikes from Kamon!
Gravedigger: Preecha with a hard uppercut, ZMAC leaned against the ring post.
Jimmy Garcia: Quick chops from Preecha, smacking hard against Zombie’s chest!
Sebastian Reid: Zombie leaping for the Thesz Press!
Gravedigger: Preecha with the flapjack counter on the outside!
Jimmy Garcia: Preecha is in the driver’s seat!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC refusing to give up, pushing back to his feet quickly!
Gravedigger: Spear knee to the wounded midsection!
Jimmy Garcia: Z’s gotta be feeling that, smart move from Kamon!
Sebastian Reid: Kamon stepping back, going for the kill!
Gravedigger: ZMAC pounces!
Jimmy Garcia: DOVE KILLAH!
Sebastian Reid: Knee connects, but Preecha with a nice backfist to avoid the headscissors!
Gravedigger: Preecha a bit dazed from the knee though, both men looking exhausted right now!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC grabbing the smaller foe by the waist, Axe Wound could be on the way!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC gets him on his shoulders!
Gravedigger: Kamon slips out!
Jimmy Garcia: Chop to the neck from Kamon!
Sebastian Reid: ZMAC is wavering, Kamon onto the apron!
Gravedigger: ZMAC taunting him, Kamon showing his battle cry.
Jimmy Garcia: Kamon leaps from the apron!
Sebastian Reid: KAMON KANNON!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC AND KAMON CRASHING THROUGH THE KILLING FLOOR WALL!
Sebastian Reid: THEY’RE DEAD! THAT’S IT!
Gravedigger: Both men in a heap on the fallen cell wall!
Jimmy Garcia: Neither man is responding right now!
Sebastian Reid: Preecha’s arm fallen over ZMAC! Preecha’s arm is on top of ZMAC!
Gravedigger: Preecha out cold, laying face first on the barbed wall!
Jimmy Garcia: COUNT BY THE REF!
DING DING DING!!
Sebastian Reid: IT’S ALL OVER! WE’VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!
Gravedigger: Preecha Kamon is UCI World Champion!
Jimmy Garcia: Officials outside to tend to the fallen bodies, what a display from the men and women tonight!
Sebastian Reid: That’s all she wrote for Camp Crystal Lake! Congrats to our new world champion! We’ll see you all next week!