Post by Action Reel on Dec 17, 2020 1:10:15 GMT -5
Shadowlove vs Mandie Wheeler
Taylor Lorde: The following is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Mandieville, Mandie Wheeler!
Red and gold pyros go off as the houselights dim and Glamours by Fergie begins to play. The crowd erupts with cheers as the black satin curtain moves and out steps Mandie smiling at the fans.
She waves as she stands at the top of the steel ramp and starts walk down high-fiving the fans on her way down to the ring. Once she reaches the the ring apron she slides into the ring and stands in the middle of the ring as her music dies down and the houselights return.
Jack Schlongson: Such a sweetie, but I’m afraid Mandie has fallen quite far as of late.
Hentai Prince: Needs more technique!
Taylor Lorde: Her opponent, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Shadowlove!
"PERSONAL JESUS” by Depeche Mode begins to play throughout the darkened Arena. A mixture of multicolored laser lights and strobe lights illuminate the Arena along with theatrical smoke and fog sets the scene like a Four Season Fashion Show. The Audience throughout the Arena stand in anticipation for what is about to be the "New" wrestling trend in the UCI.
Coming through the theatrical smoke and fog and appearing under the fashion show lighting is the one and only, "The Dynamic Duo" in all of sports entertainment, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, along with his personal bodyguard/valet, "The Fashionista Sensei" Ms. Miyamoto, stopping for a second, taking in the aura of the Arena, pose like fashion models on a catwalk.
The Audience throughout the Arena begin clicking away with their cameras like the paparazzi during a "Hollywood" premiere. Ms. Miyamoto leads the way down the aisle with "flirty" confidence as Shadowlove, a few steps behind her, enjoying the view. "The Dynamic Duo" make their way to the squared circle. Shadowlove slides into the ring like a snake. Ms. Miyamoto, with catlike precision, walks up the ringside steps and seductively enters the ring through the second rope.
"HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band begins to play throughout the arena. Shadowlove stands in the middle of the ring, spreads his arms straight out and bows his head, as if, being crucified on a cross. Jesus Wept! Ms. Miyamoto, exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around "The Handsome Half-breed", to a rousing "Standing Ovation" from the crowd. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses, showing off her incandescent green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, Shadowlove, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her hand.
Ms. Miyamoto cradles up against Shadowlove's body, caressing his muscular chest with her fingers, raises up her RayBan sunglasses with her middle finger. Shadowlove raises his head, with his classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair. He shows off his fighters face, with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth with a shit-eating grin as he strips off the black leather trench-coat like a Chippendale's dancer.
Jack Schlongson: Such an intriguing specimen.
Hentai Prince: To me, Shadowlove has always been something of a dark horse contender in any situation or division!
DING DING DING!
As the match begins, Mandie charges forward, trying to get the immediate upper hand, but Shadow manages to duck the attempt, sending Mandie face first into the middle turnbuckle.
Jack Schlongson: Great ring awareness with the drop toe hold!
Hentai Prince: Mandie appears hurt, grabbing at her face in agony now!
Shadowlove dips under the bottom rope, shooting a devilish smirk towards Miyamoto as he grabs hold of Mandie’s arm, yanking her forward into the ring post.
Jack Schlongson: Shoulder first there, that one has to hurt!
Shadowlove slides back in, delivering a few softening stomps to the head and midsection before pulling her back to her feet.
Hentai Prince: I think we’re seeing a revitalized and even more dangerous Shadowlove here tonight!
Jack Schlongson: He has to be determined to inflict as much pain and punishment as he can and I feel the reasoning has to be his close contest against the world champion at Rite of Passage!
Hentai Prince: Mandie with some counter shots to the midsection now though!
Mandie is met with another quick counter by Shadowlove as she is sent off the ropes.
Jack Schlongson: Mandie with the running knee, just leveling Shadowlove as she goes for the pin attempt now!
1!
KICKOUT!
Hentai Prince: Great technique on the knee to the midsection!
Mandie furiously yanks Shadowlove back up, taunting the Handsome Half-Breed as she pulls him into position for a DDT, pointing at Miyamoto as she does so.
Jack Schlongson: The disrespect on Mandie’s part, going for The Dark Gift!
Hentai Prince: Shadowlove with the back body drop though! Mandie on her back now!
Shadowlove’s expression grows much more irritated as he drops down, locking his arm under the chin and delivering some stiff rights to the face.
Jack Schlongson: Shadowlove with the pin attempt.
1!
2!
Hentai Prince: Mandie reverses! Mandie Lock applied!
Shadowlove appears caught as he struggles to escape the hold, wiggling his way towards a nearby rope and thrashing about as he tries to shake Mandie loose.
Jack Schlongson: Not quite locked in entirely as Shadowlove hits some elbows to Mandie’s face now.
As Mandie lets up, Shadowlove spins around her, locking his arms around the midsection.
Hentai Prince: Mandie spinning behind Shadow now! Very impressive back and forth in this bout!
Jack Schlongson: German by Mandie.
Hentai Prince: Shadow lands on his feet!
Mandie is spun around by Shadowlove who pulls her in for the big DDT.
Jack Schlongson: Dark Gift!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!
Taylor Lorde: Here is your winner, Shadowlove!
Hentai Prince: Great win by Shadowlove tonight!
Jack Schlongson: With relative ease too, Shadowlove had Mandie’s number tonight!
Gravedigger vs Jared Holmes
"The Ballad of Maxwell Demon" by Shudder to Think hits the PA as the lights go dim in the arena. A golden Eye of Horus lights up the jumbotron as "#AllHail6ixGod" appears beneath in gold lettering. A single stage light hits the center of the ramp as the music swells and booing from the crowd reaches a fever pitch. From the curtain steps Jared Holmes dressed in a full-face mirror ball mask topped with a diamond encrusted crown of thorns and long navy wool coat with gold accents, Thursday by his side.
Taylor Lorde: Making his way to the ring, from Hollywood, California. Weighing in at two-hundred and fifteen pounds.... "THE SIX GOD" JARED HOLMES!
Jared steps into the spotlight, the mirror ball mask reflecting the light in a dazzling display of colors. His hands slowly raise from his sides into the air as sparks descend from the ceiling. Bringing his arms down swiftly, he continues down the ramp, his eyes concealed behind the mask but undoubtedly on the ring.
Jack Schlongson: Tasty, if I do say so myself.
The Hentai Prince: Yeah an – MRPH
The commentary goes silent. The sound of headphone rustling can be heard.
Michael Stelzner: They’ve really stepped down security in this place.
Chris Morrell: I can’t believe those fake moustaches worked as disguises.
The duo moves with purpose, and upon reaching the bottom of the ring, Jared ascends the stairs and steps between the ropes. His hand coming to the back of his head, he removes the mask and raises it in the air to a chorus of boos.
Chris Morrell: Well this should be fun to call again. Just like old times.
Michael Stelzner: You deserve this, Price.
The lights go out. They stay off for about 15 seconds or so before "Change" by Deftones starts playing throughout the arena. A spotlight hits the entranceway and out from the back walks Gravedigger, escorted by Adrian and JJ.
Taylor Lorde: And his opponent, from Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at two hundred and fifty-eight pounds… the “Epitome of Hardcore”, Grave DIGGER!
The crowd cheers heavily and the trio stops on top of the ramp as Gravedigger looks around smiling. They then walk down the ramp and over to the ring steps. Adrian walks over to the side of the ring, reaches up and pulls himself up onto the apron with one of the ropes and then climbs into the ring. Gravedigger climbs the steps first and turns to JJ, pulling up the middle rope and stepping down on the bottom one, as she steps through the gap into the ring.
Michael Stelzner: His first match in quite some time, and Gravedigger is getting a hero’s reception from the UCI fans tonight.
Gravedigger steps through the top and middle rope and walks over to one of the turnbuckles and stands on the middle pad and smirks out at the crowd as they scream in appreciation.
Crowd: LET’S GO DIGGER! *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP* LET’S GO DIGGER!
With the ring of the bell, the Six God and the Epitome of Commentary step towards one another. Their hands extend cautiously – a tie-up into a test of strength. The two lung forward, their fingers clasped as they strained against each other. Of course, it is Gravedigger who stands several inches taller with a bit of weight on Holmes; he overpowers the Six God with a bit of effort, twisting one of his arms behind his back. Jared flips forward into a roll, his free arm swiping for the knee of Digger; Digger jumps over the strike and launches a knee towards his opponent’s face. Jared bends back to the ground before kipping up, rolling Digger over with an arm drag. Digger rolls through to his feet, catching an advancing Holmes with a solid right to the jaw – Jared stumbles back and is clotheslined over the ropes for his troubles.
Michael Stelzner: Amazing display of athleticism from both these men to start!
Chris Morrell: That old bastard can move, can’t he?
On the outside, Jared slaps the matt in frustration as Gravedigger raises his arms to the triumphant roar of the crowd. Thursday quickly runs to Jared’s side, assisting him up before giving him a reassuring backrub and butt pat. Jared slides into the ring, immediately receiving a stomp to the back by Gravedigger. He rolls onto his back, taking another stomp for his troubles, before catching Digger’s boot on a third stomp and wrenching the Hall of Famer to the ground.
Michael Stelzner: Are the tides finally turning?
Chris Morrell: If that was a pun, I’ll smack you.
Once Digger hits the matt, Jared quickly leaps over to put him in a side headlock. He flips Digger over his hip, dropping the Epitome of Hardcore once again before wrenching on his neck.
Jared Holmes: LOOK, IF YOU TAP OUT NOW YOU CAN BE WAVEDIGGER AGAIN, OKAY? I’LL EVEN LET YOU SWIM IN MY WAKE AT PARTIES!
Digger, of course, is unpersuaded. Rather than attempt to wrestle his way out, he throws a shot straight to Jared’s face. The Six God’s head snaps back before a second punch causes the lock to loosen. Digger shoves him off, both men rolling to their bases. As Digger stands, Jared runs at him with a missile dropkick. Digger steps to the side, clutching Holmes around the waist and deadlifting the thrashing Six God. He falls back and drops Jared with a thunderous German Suplex before rolling over for the pin.
Referee: 1!
Jared kicks. Gravedigger grabs him by a handful of blonde hair as he pulls him up. A body shot doubles Holmes over – a throat shot sends him stumbling to the ropes. Digger runs for a clothesline, but Holmes ducks and pulls the rope down with him. Digger is able to stay balanced, falling over the rope but landing on the apron. Jared reaches up to wrap a hand around his neck and pull him down neck-first for a stunner against the ropes, shooting up to flip over Digger to the outside! His arms wrapped around the waist of the Epitome of Commentary, he uses his momentum to Sunset Flip Powerbomb Digger to the canvass!
Chris Morrell: Trump should hire this guy to police the borders. He’s a natural.
Holmes wrenches Digger up and rolls him into the ring. He slides in and immediately goes for the pin.
Referee: 1!..
Gravedigger kicks out! The crowd goes wild as Jared sits bolt upright and yells at the referee.
Jared Holmes: YOU CALL THAT A COUNT?! DO YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF TIME?!
Jared falls back on Digger for a second pin. The kick out is almost immediate, and Digger shoves Holmes off of him. He pushes himself to his feet as Holmes rushes his way, catching the Six God for the Respecto! Holmes lays limp on the canvass as Digger shoves himself to his feet and pops onto the apron. He pulls himself to the top rope, leaps off!
Michael Stelzner: Death from Above! Digger has this in the bag!
After M-13 member lands on him, Jared rolls over, holding his chest in pain. Digger goes for the cover.
Ref: 1!.. 2!
Jared lifts a shoulder, as though by instinct. Digger pushes himself to his base, his eyes switching between Jared and the referee.
Gravedigger: You call that a count?!
Michael Stelzner: Looks like both men have some problems with this officiating.
Chris Morrell: I don’t blame them. The man’s a fucking gimp.
Gravedigger pulls Holmes to his legs and whips him at the ropes. As Holmes runs back, Digger throws a massive clothesline! Holmes ducks, running to the opposite side and springboarding into a beautiful Moonsault! He catches Digger around the neck for a reverse DDT, but Digger holds fast, Jared bent half over his shoulder. He throws Jared down for the Toluca Slam! He goes for the cover!
Referee: 1!.. 2!
Thursday grabs Jared’s foot and pulls him out of the ring! The crowd boos as the ref walks towards the ropes, yelling and pointing at her.
Michael Stelzner: Looks like she’s not getting thrown out yet, but a warning is issued to Thursday Kerrigan for her interference.
As Thursday climbs onto the apron, Gravedigger stalks over to her. Grabbing the Six Goddess by her shirt, he pulls her over the ropes and onto his shoulders!
Chris Morrell: This is how you teach a bitch to shut up!
Before he can drop for the Death Driver, Jared snakes a leg between Digger’s legs! He rolls him up with a schoolboy, not seeming to care much that this causes his girlfriend to go crashing into the matt with Digger.
Referee: 1!... 2!
Digger kicks out as Holmes scrambles to his feet. As Digger sits up, Holmes rushes forward with a punt kick to the side of Digger’s head, sending him back to the ground. He covers again.
Referee: 1!
Digger kicks out. Jared sits up on his knees, his face filled with rage and desperation. He throws a fist down on Digger’s face, following it with a second. Adjusting his legs to straddle Digger’s waist, Holmes continues throwing blows down on his opponent, his face continuing to contort with rage. Digger puts his arms up, shielding the blows before throwing a fist of his own at Jared. It’s enough of an opening – he shoves Jared off and climbs to his feet. As Jared pushes up, Digger rushes at him!
Chris Morrell: Absolutely snapped him in half!
Michael Stelzner: That vicious lariat, the Grave Marker! This could be it!
Digger stands above Holmes, looking down at his opponent. He pulls him up, lifting him over his shoulders and into position. Thursday immediately jumps back onto the apron, yelling and pointing. Digger isn’t taking the bait – he drops down to nail the Death Driver! He rolls Holmes over for the pin.
Crowd: ONE! TWO! THR-
But no! Holmes places his foot on the rope in the last possible moment! The crowd erupts in boos as Thursday audibly squeals with excitement from the outside.
Chris Morrell: He’s an annoying cunt, isn’t he?
Michael Stelzner: You mean “she”?
Chris Morrell: No, I mean Jared. Won’t stay down.
Gravedigger pushes himself up, grabbing Holmes by a handful of hair. He lifts him up and over his shoulder again. Holmes reaches out and grips the top rope, using it to push himself up and out of position. Digger fights to pull him back, and when Holmes releases, the shift in momentum causes Digger to stumble. It’s enough – Holmes twists around to lock his legs around Digger’s neck and flip over him, driving him headfirst into the matt with the Dolphin Driver. Both men lay exhausted and beaten on the matt.
Michael Stelzner: Jesus Christ! Jared has him down; can he capitalize? Is he even able to?
After a moment, Jared rolls over and onto Gravedigger.
Referee: One!... Two!.. Thr-
No! Gravedigger lifts his shoulder! Jared rolls off of him, his eyes locked on the ceiling in shock. His hands come to his hair, pushing his bangs out of his eyes.
Michael Stelzner: The Six God can’t believe it! Nobody has ever kicked out of the Dolphin Driver!
Jared rolls back onto Gravedigger, hooking his leg this time.
Referee: One! Two!
Gravedigger kicks out on a solid two! Jared slaps the matt in fury, hooking the leg a third time, but Gravedigger rolls him up in a small package!
Referee: One! Two!
Jared kicks out. The two get to their feet, and Jared immediately blasts Digger with a Cliché Kick. Digger stumbles back into the corner, and Jared rushes at him for a Stinger Splash. Digger ducks, sending Jared into the turnbuckle, and Digger pulls the Six God onto his shoulders for the Gringo Stretcher! He wrenches hard on Jared’s back, the Six God screaming in pain! His hand shoots out – he’s got the top rope! The ref calls for the break, but Digger seems unwilling to release.
Referee: One! Two! Three! Four!
Digger shrugs – from the Gringo Stretcher, he pushes Holmes up and nails the Embalmer! The crowd goes wild as Gravedigger rolls Holmes over for the pin.
Referee: One! Two! Thr-
NO! Jared kicks out! Digger pulls Jared up and whips him at the ropes, but Jared comes back with a double forearm check! A second one!
Chris Morrell: Holmes with the Hammerhead Blitz, here. He stole this from John Cena’s shoulder blocks, you know.
As Jared rushes for the third check, Digger leaps up for South of the Border! Holmes shoves him off, landing Digger on his back. From his standing position, Jared takes a step forward and flips into a Standing Shooting Star Press! He covers!
Referee: One! Two!
Digger kicks out! Jared angrily mounts him again, beginning to throw more punches before Digger shoves him off once more – this time into the referee. The ref falls unconscious to the matt, leaving Digger standing over the Six God; a smile creeps over the Epitome of Hardcore’s Face.
Michael Stelzner: This doesn’t look good for the Celestial Shark.
Chris Morrell: Popcorn. I need it now.
Gravedigger rolls out of the ring, sauntering over to the announce table. He shoves Michael out of his chair, picking it up and folding it. Thursday runs up and begins throwing puppy punches at Digger, but he shoves her aside with ease as he makes his way back into the ring. Jared leans against the ropes, sweat pouring down his face as he eyes Digger with exhaustion and fear. The first chair strike blasts Jared across the head with little resistance.
Chris Morrell: Yeah! Take that, Rat Boy!
After Jared crumples to the matt, a second chair strikes blasts him across the small of the back. With a third chairshot, Jared goes limp.
Michael Stelzner: The Six God is completely beaten. He didn’t even have the stamina to offer a defense against that flurry. This has to be the end.
Digger turns around to look at the ref – still out. He tosses the chair out of the ring, the blood of the Six God now beginning to stain the canvass, as he walks over to the ref. Crouching down, he hardly notices Thursday sliding into the ring behind him.
Michael Stelzner: What’s that in her hand?!
Thursday lunges, swinging a bottle of champagne down and over the head of Gravedigger. The bottle bursts as Digger crumples to the matt, the back of his head pouring blood from the wound.
Chris Morrell: HA! That was like a yacht christening! Amazing!
Despite the attack, Digger doesn’t fall limp. Instead, he slowly pushes himself to his feet as Thursday clubs at his back. He turns and lifts her over his shoulder.
Chris Morrell: Here we go again!
The Death Driver! Thursday hits the matt unconscious. Digger pushes the unconscious Thursday off his shoulder as he stares at Jared Holmes, who has begun to stir. Exhaustion has taken his toll on Digger – he’s slow to begin pushing himself to his feet. Even in his fatigue, he lumbers over to Holmes and lifts him up as the ref begins to stir.
Michael Stelzner: And the ref is coming to! This could be the end!
In position, Digger sits out for the Death Driver, but Holmes slides back over his shoulder to his feet. He blasts Digger in the head with the Cliché Kick! Digger slumps over, his eyes glazed with the blow. Jared grips him under the armpits, straining to pull Digger to a sitting position on the middle rope. He pants heavily as he leans against the corner, Digger still slumped against the rope, before pulling himself to springboard off the bottom rope and flip over Gravedigger, locking his head between his legs.
Michael Stelzner: DOLPHIN DRIVER! IS IT ENOUGH?!
Jared slumps over Digger, a single arm across his opponent as the ref falls for the count.
Referee: ONE! TWO! THREE!
The bell rings as “The Ballad of Maxwell Demon” hits the P.A. The boos of the audience rain down as Jared rolls over onto his back, his arms raised in the air.
Taylor Lorde: Here is your winner! The Six God, Jared Holmes!
Michael Stelzner: And there he did it. Jared Holmes, with an assist by Thursday, has beaten the Epitome of Hardcore.
Chris Morrell: And god help those who have to clean the ring. It’s a fucking disas – oh shit.
Hentai Prince: YOU THINK YOU CAN CHLOROFORM US AND TAKE OUR JOBS!?
Jack Schlongson: GUESS WHERE MY FINGERS ARE GOING, PRETTY BOYS!
Chris and Michael duck back into the crowd as Schlongson and the Hentai Prince give pursuit. In the ring, Jared crawls over to Thursday before helping her up, the two rolling out of the ring with arms raised as the crowd boos.
Jared Holmes: PANTHEON, BITCHES!
In the ring, Gravedigger sits up. He’s slow to get to his base, the ref coming to his aid before Digger shoves him away. The crowd roars in appreciation as Digger gets to his feet and looks around. “Change” by the Deftones hits as Digger rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the back, the building going crazy.
Crowd: THANK YOU DIGGER! THANK YOU DIGGER!
The show cuts to a commercial.
Bobby Cairo & Wade Moor vs Polar Phantasm & Bonnie Blue
The 2300 Arena is still loving the action here in Philly. Now we move onto another quick match that also features the former UCI Tag Team Champions, The Guardians, against the returning Wade Moor, and Bobby Cairo. We now cut to Taylor Lorde in the ring who is prepared to start with the introductions of the match.
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Lorde: Ladies, and gentlemen! The following is a Tag Team match scheduled for one fall!
“Cellphone’s Dead” by Beck is the first entrance music to play for the collective team of The Guardians where two spotlights emerges on each side of the entrance to reveal The Polar Phantasm, and Bonnie Blue prepared to lay a whoop ass on their opponents. They both walk down to the ring, throwing high fives to the fans, and also ensuring they have each others backs for tonight.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first! The team of The Polar Phantasm, and Bonnie Blue, The Guardians!
Bonnie Blue hops up onto the apron then moves through the ropes while Polar secures their designated corner. Both members of the biggest stable in UCI history immediately stand on the middle turnbuckles to raise their arms high, and then drop down to the canvas once their music fades.
Jack Schlongson: Oh look, it’s the idiots #TeamRekless beat last week at Rite of Passage.
Hentai Prince: Wow, so Tsundere.
“Killing in the Name” by Rage Against The Machine surprises everyone in Philadelphia, and the crowd is off their feet to see Wade Moor, and Bobby Cairo both return to UCI for this single night. Both men may not see eye to eye but can at least have the decency to walk down to the ring together. They ignore the fans trying to touch them; just focused on defeating the Guardians.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing their opponents! Making their returns to the UCI, Wade Moor, and Bobby Cairo!
Bobby Cairo climbs up the steel steps while Wade Moor hops onto the apron. Either competitor just moves into the ring to assume their corner position but starting out for each team will be Wade Moor, and Bonnie Blue collectively.
Hentai Prince: Bobby Cairo, and Wade Moor are back! This is an amazing night! What do you think Jack?
Jack Schlongson: I beat Wade. Guardians. I will also beat Cairo. They are nothing special.
Ding Ding Ding!
Bonnie, and Wade begin circling the ring immediately. Both competitors keeping a distance from one another until Wade closes the distance to get an immediate grappling match in. Bonnie can’t really get out due to his size, and is thus planted on the canvas with a quick impromptu Side Headlock; that arm latched around her large head.
Crowd: GUARDIANS! GUARDIANS! GUARDIANS! GUARDIANS!
Polar on the outside is begging for the referee to get him off but she does it herself. Removing herself from the submission, she quickly gets up along with him. Wade is Dropkicked in the chest by the daughter of time, and when she gets up, she Dropkicks him again. Pushed back into the ropes, Bonnie tries to whip him but Wade spins around to send her into the ropes.
Jack Schlongson: See, she’s not even that good. No wonder we beat her.
Hentai Prince: Bonnie Blue nailed Wade with a couple of Dropkicks but now is coming back on the rebound. No, she’s leaping onto the middle rope for a Springboard!
Bonne leaps onto the middle rope, and then leaps backwards in the air. Twisting her body sideways into Wade Moor who catches her into his arms. He lifts her onto her shoulders, and Samoan Drops her onto the canvas. It doesn’t stop there when he gets back up, and leaps over her body to snap his back into her ribs with a brutal Senton.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Hentai Prince: Samoan Drop followed by a Senton. Bonnie Blue almost got crushed into nothing by the sheer gravity weight of Wade Moor. Here is the pin attempt!
One!
Two!
Bonnie kicks out, and Wade is really getting annoyed. He picks her up again, and then uproots his knee into her ribs. With her in that groggy position, she’s corner whipped right into the turnbuckles. Thus, she’s trapped but luckily in her favor, Bonnie manages to move out of the way from the Avalanche performed by Wade, and jump to the help of her savior Polar. A tag is made.
Jack Shlongson: Wow. Bonnie can’t do things on her that she has to rely on a man. My bestie Celeste can do things easily.
Polar gets into the ring, and starts dropping Wade with back to back clotheslines. Back, and forth the two are going at it until Wade is flipped onto his back with an Exploder Suplex. Unfortunately for Polar, he rolled into the corner of his team-mate, and Cairo tags himself in with a slap on the shoulder.
Hentai Prince: Oh my...This will be interesting.
Crowd: BOBBY! BOBBY! BOBBY1
Bobby comes into the ring, and just slugs Polar’s arm behind him to lift him right off the mat, and nail him with a kick to the gut and then a DDT. Wade rolls out of the ring to charge around the ring thus grabbing Bonnie’s right leg and tripping her off the apron to drop her face into the edge of the apron while Bobby climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Hentai Prince: What is Bobby going for here?
Bobby stands up high onto the top rope then leaps forward in the air before driving an elbow into the chest of Polar. Bobby with the hook of the leg.
Hentai Prince: What a big time elbow drop!
One!
Two!
Three!
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Lorde: Here are your winners, Bobby Cairo and Wade Moor!
Hentai Prince: The Guardians tried but came up a little bit short. The returning Wade Moor and Bobby Cairo have come out on top, and what a way they did it. We’ll be back shortly.
Teddy Sol vs Spencer Adams
The 2300 arena is fully repaired miraculously from last night’s shenanigans to prepare for the second night of amazing action in this warehouse. 1,200 fans are hereby back to put down their loyalty to Jayson Price, and the infamous Nightmare on South Street. We cut back to Jack Schlongson, and The Hentai Prince at commentary for the co-main event of the evening.
Hentai Prince: Ladies, and gentlemen! I am back with my current commentary partner, Jack Schlongson! We are live in the 2300 arena of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!
Jack Schlongson: For the last time, the only partner I have is Andre Holmes, and I am one half of the UCI Tag Team Champions!
Hentai Prince: Right now, we are in our co-main event stage that features a very special person. One fourth of the co-owners of UCI, Spencer Adams, will be facing the famous luchadore, Teddy Sol! Oh hoo hoo hoo! iI can’t wait anymore!
Jack Schlongson: ...Uhh. So boring. Let’s just get on with the match.
Taylor Lorde is standing in the center of the ring again with her signature blue dress on, and also her black high heels. She receives the cue from production to officially begin with introductions on the match, and also the competitors.
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Lorde: Ladies, and gentlemen! This match is scheduled for one fall, and it is our co-main event of the evening!
“Shining Star” by Earth Winds and Fire starts playing in the 2300 Arena, and who can deny everyone’s favourite babyface in UCI. Teddy Sol comes out through the back wearing his red shades, in his gold, and white in-ring attire. He is on the stage dancing, and waving to the fans until marching down to the ring down the entrance path to also interact with a few of his fans.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOO! TEDDY! TEDDY! TEDDY! TEDDY!
Teddy Sol hops onto the apron, and then back up to middle turnbuckle outside of the ropes. Raising his arms out high with the fans at ringside chanting his name. Hopping over the top rope, he lands inside the ring, and sidesteps around to get that quick warm up.
Jack Schlongson: Here we go with this so called “luchadore” pandering to all these ignorants. Just another monkey begging for attention from a spot he can never have.
Hentai Prince: Just like you, and-
Jack Schlongson: Who? Thought so. Let’s get back to the show.
“Supremacy” by Muse begins playing the moment Teddy Sol is leaning back in the corner of the ring. Spencer Adams walks out from the entrance of the 2300 arena, and starts marching down to the ring without even blinking his eyes in the direction of Teddy. The atmosphere was very heavy, tension filling this large warehouse as something was off between these two.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Spencer stops off before the apron, and watches Teddy step up in the center of the ring. Taylor Lorde backs off but still does her job of announcing his opponent; even with the two cannot be able to almost give each some space between them.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing his opponent! Hailing from Chicago, Illinois! At five feet, eleven inches tall, weighing in at 190 pou-
Teddy Sol abandons the ring, and quickly scurries into Spencer Adams who also approaches him in the same manner. Bullet speed blows are fired into each other rallying up the Philadelphia crowd to go fuckin’ apeshift in their cheering. Back, and forth fists are being launched into each others heads, and neither are deciding to let down.
Hentai Prince: Woah, where the hell is this coming from?! We’ve never seen Spencer Adams or Teddy Sol like this at all!
Jack Schlongson: I read somewhere that heterosexual men are very obsessive in violence.
They keep backing up with each other down the entrance path. Shoving each other into barricades, multiple fists, and knees thrown at each other. Teddy Sol shoves Spencer back enough space to run forward, and clock him even harder with a running forearm straight into his temple. The impact shoves him back so hard, he almost falls onto the concrete flooring of the stage.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jack Schlongson: Are they done yet?
Hentai Prince: Oh no! I think they’re just getting started!
The referees, and others officials come out to try, and stop the brawl but are too late. Teddy, and Spencer charge into each other, and therefore breakthrough off the stage to drop through two tables lined up together. Their bodies breaking through the wood after falling off the edge, and also
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Hentai Prince: Oh my god! So KAWAII! Teddy Sol, and Spencer Adams have put each other through the tables after falling off the stage. Tell me that wasn’t cool Jack? Even you have to believe that was great!
Jack Schlongson: I’ve seen better.
Multiple medical personnel, and security come to cut off the area of chaos. Spencer, and Teo lying down together in nothing but broken pieces of wood, maybe even covered in splinters. The cameras focus on their bodies while Philadelphia pay cheers in their tribute to the old extreme ways.
Hentai Prince: Okay, let’s call it for now. We’ll take a small break while we get this mess cleaned up.
Taipei Cage Of Death Match
For The UCI World Title
Alex Richards vs Jayson Price
A Nightmare On South Street comes back from a promo for UCI 2K17 with a shot of officials setting up the cage walls around the ring. Another official is dragging out a pedestal while carrying a bucket in his free hand.
The Hentai Prince: Well we can see the cage being set up and that means we all know what's inside of that bucket. Things are about to go extreme here in Philadelphia.
Jack Schlongson: Extreme wrestling in Philadelphia? It'll never last.
The Hentai Prince: Well while we can debate that, what we can't debate is the danger of this match. If you've never seen a Taipei Cage Of Death Match, well you're in for a treat. Alex Richards and Jayson Price are going to do battle inside of that cage, but before they get in they're going to coat their fists in shards of broken glass.
Jack Schlongson: Why the hell is this even allowed in the US? In Japan I can understand, they simply don't care. But here in America?
The Hentai Prince: U S A! U S A!
The cage is set up and the official sets the bucket full of glass on the pedestal as Taylor Lorde takes her place inside the ring beside the referee. The fans start up a "U C I" chant as the house lights dim and spotlights illuminate the ring.
Taylor Lorde: The following is your main event...
The crowd pops.
Taylor Lorde:...and it is a Taipei Cage Of Death Match for the UCI World Title!
The crowd goes nuts. They fucking love ultraviolence in the city of brotherly love.
All of the lights in the arena drop as the crowd silences with anticipation. Moments pass before "Explosia" by Gojira hits the arena speakers at a near deafening volume. The crowd lets loose with boos as a lone spotlight comes on and shines on the stage. Jayson Price walks out from the back to near nuclear heat from from the crowd, a grin on his face. He waves the crowd on from the top of the ramp, trying to get them to be louder.
The Hentai Prince: And there is our General Manager. Sigh.
Jack Schlongson: You don't seem very happy to admit that, Prince.
The Hentai Prince: After last night's debacle and how he's acted the last few weeks, one has to wonder just what exactly Price has in mind when he says he wants to "make UCI great".
Jack Schlongson: Well just think, it could always be worse. We could have Trump running UCI!
He then starts down the ramp, avoiding the grubby and dirty hands of the few fans that try to show him love, before stopping to knock the phone out of the hands of a fan trying to take a selfie. After laughing at the fan, he'll steal a beer, enjoy it in front of the unlucky fan and then throw the empty cup in their face before he stops by the official waiting with the bucket of glass. Price holds his already tapes fists up and the referee coats them with glue before pointing to the bucket. Price dips his hands into the glass and rolls them around before pulling them out, letting the camera get a good shot of the shards of glass. With a laugh Price walks up the steps to the cage door and steps into the ring where he walks to his corner to wait for the match to start. The Philly crowd is pro-Price tonight as they let out a "JAYSON FUCKING PRICE" chant with gusto.
Jack Schlongson: And this might be the only city in America where we hear that chant these days. As Prince said, Price's popularity amongst fans has plummeted following his power move to get this match with many calling for him to be replaced.
The Hentai Prince: Well here's to that happening!
The opening guitar solo to I'm Not Like Everybody Else by the Kinks plays then Alex Richards steps through the curtain, his doctor's bag in one hand, a boot filled to the brim with Zim-Quila in the other, the World Heavyweight title around his waist. He chugs his drink then tosses the boot into the crowd before raising the title in the air to massive cheers. He then starts walking towards the ring a serious look on his face with a hint of a smile making it seem like he's probably putting it on, which he is.
The Hentai Prince: And here comes the UCI World Champion!
Jack Schlongson: And to a rather loud reaction as well. It seems as though this crowd loves them some of The Archduke Of Mass Confusion.
The Hentai Prince: Aww, I was hoping you'd say the crowd loves them some strange. I had a great sex joke lined up and everything. Boo.
On the way to the ring he delivers his trademark hard high fives to the fans. At least those brave enough to want them. He then steps up to the official at ringside and is forced to hand over his World Title and set down his bag as the referee gestures to the bucket. Richards dips his tape covered hands into the bucket and seems to relish the feeling of the glass on his skin as he smiles. When he's thoroughly covered Richards starts for the ring steps, only to quickly grab the bucket and throw it into the ring. Shards of glass spill out over the center of the mat as Richards charges into the cage, hell bent on getting to Price. Taylor Lorde scrambles out of the ring, not wanting any of what's happening, as the referee has to throw himself in front of Richards.
Jack Schlongson: And Richards wants to go now! Glass all over the center of the ring, Richards trying to get at Price as the referee is trying to avoid getting slashed open.
The Hentai Prince: All hail our lord and savior, the all mighty chaos.
Richards finally backed into his corner as Price is demanding that the bell be rung. The referee tries to kick the glass out of the ring but only succeeds in spreading it out more. With Price and Richards both demanding the match to be started the referee gives in and signals for the bell.
Jack Schlongson: Well apparently we're throwing introductions out the window along with the rule book tonight. There's the bell, this World Title Match is underway!
As ready as they were to go, neither seems eager to test the sharpness of the glass as both men circle each other a few times, taking glances at the glass on each other's fists and all over the mat. The referee outside the ring gets the cage door shut and steps away as the cameras zoom in.
The Hentai Prince: We should stress that this match cannot end by escaping the cage. It must end in pinfall or submission. Hence the Cage Of Death tagline.
Richards and Price finally choosing to move in, although they look a bit weary. Price wants to go for a test of strength but when Richards puts his hands up, Price kicks him in the shin. Price with a right hand to the top of the forehead and the first blood is officially drawn as Richards gets 4 lines drawn across the hairline from Price's knuckles. But Alex isn't having any of it as he hits Price with a quick jab to the stomach. Now Price is bleeding near the belly button as both men are realizing that the glass is going to make this match hell.
Jack Schlongson: Now this is actually the second time Price has been in this kind of match. A few years back he had a brutal Cruiserweight bout inside of this very structure and walked out victorious. But he didn't face a competitor quite like Richards in that match.
The Hentai Prince: Yeah this may be Alex's first time in this kind of match but it's still right up his alley.
Alex from his knees with a headbutt to the gut, trying to open up the cut a little more, and Price backs off. Richards up to his feet as Price is looking to the cage door, contemplating his options. Richards gives him little time to think as he moves in, looking to tie-up. Price obliges and they lock up, both wincing as their fingers dig into each other's arms. Richards with a kick to the gut and tries for a rake of the eyes but Price manages to get his hands up, barely avoiding being blinded. Richards follows up with a chop across the chest that draws a line of blood from nipple to nipple.
Jack Schlongson: Oh no! Not those beautiful pink little nubs! You monster!
The Hentai Prince: ...
Richards with more chops to the chest, each drawing a line of blood as Price tries to back off, but that only leads to Richards hitting chops to his arms and back. Price backed up into the corner and he's forced to try and keep Richards at bay by kicking at him. Richards able to catch one of Price's legs and he slams a fist into the thigh. Price able to get his leg free and charge at Richards, hitting him with a shoulder tackle that makes him stumble back. Price hits the ropes and tries for a boot to the face but Richards sidesteps it. Richards with Price from behind and he hits a back body drop onto the glass. Price writhing in pain on the mat as the crowd lets out a pop.
Jack Schlongson: That has to feel like...well like landing on broken glass. I'm sorry, I can't think of something more unpleasant than that!
Richards now stomping on the chest of Price, trying to drive the glass in his back deeper into his body. Each stomp brings out a scream of pain from Price, much to the delight of Alex who appears to be laughing with glee.
The Hentai Prince: Well that's only slightly unsettling.
Richards backs off only momentarily as he waits for Price to try and get his bearing and sit up. The cameras zoom in on Price's back and we see dozens upon dozens of shards of glass plus tinier pieces piercing the skin with drops of blood dripping to the mat. Richards runs at Price and hits a diving forearm to the back of head. Richards on his knees and he's trying to put Price in a headlock as Price tries to protect his neck. Richards clawing at the forearm of Price, tearing up the skin, as Price tries to scramble away.
Jack Schlongson: Price at the cage door but that's not going to do anything. You've got to get the pin or submission in the ring!
Price trying to get the door open as Richards approaches him from behind. Richards gets him by the arm and tries to spin him around, but Price catches him with a right hand to the ear. Richards grabs for the side of his head and Price hits him with a kick to the gut. Richards doubled over and Price again goes at the ear with a right hand as blood is now dripping from it. Price with a third shot and then a fourth and Richards is in some serious pain as blood is running down the side of his head.
The Hentai Prince: And after taking some serious punishment it seems as if Price is finally turning the tables on the champ. Richards trying to check and see if his ear is still attatched as Price hits the ropes. Price comes back and takes out Richards' leg from behind with a sweeping leg kick. Richards falls to a knee before Price grabs him by the head. Price looks down at a small pile of shards and grins before planting Alex headfirst into it with a DDT.
Jack Schlongson: Oh god! OH GOD!
The crowd lets out a gasp and then a pop as Richards rolls away from Price, shards of glass sticking out of the top of his head, and he begins trying to yank them out. Price laughing as he gets to his feet, mocking Alex's screams of pain as he walks up behind him. Price with a grip on Richards' head and he slams him backward onto the glass, adding to the collection already on his head.
The Hentai Prince: I'm starting to feel a bit ill.
Richards rolling in pain, which only makes it worse from him as the glass is ground into his flesh. Price back up to his feet and he's headed for the cage door again.
Jack Schlongson: Where is he headed? We've already said that you can't win the match by leaving.
Price demanding that the door be opened and then he leaves the cage. Price down the steps and out onto the floor as the officials are telling him he needs to go back in. Price ignores them and goes to the apron as the crowd is booing the lack of action. Price with a middle finger before he goes under the apron and comes out with another bucket.
The Hentai Prince: OH COME ON! MORE GLASS?!
The camera zooms in and we find out that apparently Price decided to bring tacks to a glass fight.
Jack Schlongson: That's it, we've officially entered Japan territory.
Price now climbing up the steps and into the ring as Richards is sitting up, trying to pull glass from his skull as blood runs down his face. Price sets down the bucket and hits Richards with a right hand. Price with another and then pulls Richards up. Price pulls him in and he's pointing at the bucket.
The Hentai Prince: What in the-
Price now calling for the Pricebuster and the crowd pops to their feet.
Jack Schlongson: Are you shitting me? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!
Price goes to lift Richards up but Richards blocks it. Richard with a shot to the gut and wiggles free before hitting Price with a kick to the balls. Richards sees the bucket full of tacks and smiles as he grabs hold of Price. Richards with Price up on his shoulders and he hits him with a Death Valley Driver headfirst into the bucket.
The Hentai Prince: HOLY SHIT!
Price now rolling on the mat, head jammed into the bucket full of tacks and glass piercing his skin. The crowd is losing their collective shit as they let loose with a "HOLY SHIT!" chant.
Jack Schlongson: Mother of God, what did we just see?
Price trying to rip the bucket off his head but it's on tight. Tacks are falling out from the little bit of space in the bucket as Richards is now heading for the door. Richards shoves it open and steps out of the cage before heading for the announce table.
The Hentai Prince: Should we run?
Jack Schlongson: No it would appear as though he's calling for a chair, we may be good. For now. Be ready to run though just in case we have another riot on our hands.
Price now on his feet, trying desperately to rip the bucket off his head, as Richards takes his time going back into the ring, chair in hand. Richards finally back inside the cage and he slams the chair on the mat, drawing Price's attention. Price puts up his fists, ready to fight as Alex raises the chair in the air. But then he seems to have a moment of weakness for the blinded Price as he throws the chair to the mat.
The Hentai Prince: What's this? Is Alex having a change in heart after all that's happened?
Richards goes over to Price and grabs hold of the bucket, looking like he's going to rip it off, when Price slaps him across the face. Richards with a kick to the gut before he grabs hold of Price.
Jack Schlongson: FINAL ENLIGHTENMENT ONTO THE CHAIR!
The bucket explodes off of Price's head as the camera zooms in on his blood soaked, tack covered face.
The Hentai Prince: And back comes the nausea!
Price sitting up on the mat, possibly out of adrenaline, but he's looking woozy from the blood loss. He's got a tack lodged completely into his head, just barely above his eyeball. Richards flashes him a thumbs up and then pulls him up to his feet. Price with a middle finger and Richards pulls him in for the Zim-Quila Hangover. Alex gets him up but Price from out of nowhere counters the chokeslam with a cutter.
Jack Schlongson: THE DOWNFALL!
Price with the Downfall onto tacks but he can't muster up the energy to go for the pin. The referee looking at both men and he's helpless because a 10 count does nothing.
The Hentai Prince: Somebody needs to take advantage here!
Price trying to roll over and crawl for the ropes as Richards is on his hands and knees near the chair. Price at the bottom rope, desperately trying to pull himself up. Richards has the chair in hand and using it like a crutch to push himself upright. Both men up and Price tries to fire off a Superkick but Richards connects with the chair. Price down and holding his leg and Richards smashes it into his knee. A second time. A third time. A fourth and final shot and Richards throws it to the side as Price is clutching his leg.
Jack Schlongson: Jesus. Those chair shots were absolutely brutal.
The Hentai Prince: All that aggression that's been building up the past few weeks finally came out.
Richards now pulling Price up to his feet and he hits him with a Zim-Quila Hangover. Richards with the pin attempt.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Jack Schlongson: AND THAT'S IT! RICHARDS RETAINS THE UCI WORLD TITLE!
The Hentai Prince: I have no words. We saw Andre Holmes drive a truck into this building with Dune on the hood, I thought that we could never see anything worse. But my god look at the blood in that cage. The mat is soaked. Jayson Price has tacks embedded into his skull and an eye that if it's not pierced I'll eat my had.
Jack Schlongson: I just caught a glimpse of Richards head and I think I see skin hanging loose. Yep, definitely hanging loose.
Richards is at the ropes trying to stay upright as the referee brings him the World Title. Richards raises it to the delight of the crowd as the referee tries to help Price up. Alex looks to be concerned now and steps forward, trying to help. Price with a finger and he spits a wad of blood into his face.
Jack Schlongson: Ah hell. That's no good.
Richards tosses the belt to the side and shoves the referee to the side. Richards with a right hand to Price, who's staggering on one leg and trying to stay up. Richards now lifting Price up as the crowd is going nuts.
The Hentai Prince: What the- OH SHIT! LOOK OUT!
Richards now running full speed at the cage wall and he jumps toward it with Price in his arms. The wall gives and falls over onto the announce table as the announcers dive out of the way.
Crowd: HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!
Jack Schlongson: Prince are you okay? PRINCE?!
The Hentai Prince seems to be out cold under the desk as Jack tries to shake him awake. Richards now on top of Price choking him, digging his glass covered fingers into his throat. Both referees trying to pull Richards off of Price but he's not giving. Price still defiantly choking out curse words at Richards as he's being choked. Finally Richards lets up, only to drag Price up as the cage wall is bending under them. Richards now leading Price across the wall to the announce table.
Jack Schlongson: Oh shit. Prince!
We can see Schlongson dragging an unconscious Prince out from under the table and toward the ramp as Richards positions himself and Price. Richards with the throat and he hits a massive Zim-Quila Hangover through the table. The raucous crowd goes hush as the table explodes. Richards rolls out of the wreckage and stumbles past the announce team as the cameras zoom in for a shot of Price, laying amongst the twisted metal of the cage and pieces of table, unconscious and covered in tacks, glass and blood. His right eye is open but it appears to be because of tacks piercing the eyelid. The referees rush to check on him and immediately call for the medics. Richards scoops up his World Title and walks up the ramp as the arena is silent except for medics trying to treat Price. With one announcer out and the other's headset somewhere under the wreckage, Night 2 of A Nightmare On South Street cuts to black with a final shot of Richards and his World Title.