(10/5/16) A Nightmare on South Street (Night 1) Dec 17, 2020 1:07:47 GMT -5
Post by Action Reel on Dec 17, 2020 1:07:47 GMT -5
Winner Gets A Spot In The Killing Floor Match
Perzag vs Fang vs Ryan Jones vs Jericho Salazar vs Michael Whin
Perzag vs Fang vs Ryan Jones vs Jericho Salazar vs Michael Whin
Taylor Lorde: The following is scheduled for..
The ref steps towards, Taylor whispering something in her ear before stepping back towards a corner as Taylor adjusts her statement.
Taylor Lorde: Ladies and gentleman, as per the orders of our general manager, this match will now be held under battle royal rules!
The crowd gives a light pop cause “yay, surprise shenanigans!”
The lights in the arena dim. A red ribbon appears on the Titantron. A female voice sings "Do do doo do doo doo do do do do do do dooo do do do" and Centuries by Fallout boy starts. Red, Gold and Silver pyro curtains begin to shower down from the bottom of the Tron and the Cross of the Wolf appears as the words TRUE IMMORTAL come together under it. Scenes of the Man In Black fighting well known superstars he's faced over his career before The Wav3 begin to montage on the screen as the Spirit of the Wolf walks through the shower of fire. A sinister look is on his face, but then he looks to the fans and smirks his trademark smirk. He walks down to the ring, taking his leather jacket off as he gets there and hands it to a ring attendant. He then slides in the ring slowly. He stands up and looks around the arena taking in the reaction of the crowd.
Hentai Prince: This is no ordinary opener! This is for a guaranteed spot in the biggest match UCI’s ever had, the Killing Floor match!
Jack Schlongson: I bet the entrances are longer than the actual match.
The venue darkens and the lights flicker back and forth, then it goes completely dark. A loud explosion is heard as "Master Debater" by Twist shakes the entire room and the lights come back on and standing in the ring like he just appeared out of nowhere is "Random" Ryan Jones. The lights dim, then go out again while the cheering fans becomes silent, most fans not knowing how to feel. A skull shaped into a question mark dominates the big screen before it vanishes and the lights turn back on. Ryan is standing in the ring with his fists taped, wearing a blue t-shirt that says "In Random We Trust" on the back and the now famous skull shaped in a question mark insignia logo on the front. He is also sporting all black Nike shoes and a pair of long MMA style shorts with the words "Master" down one side and "Debater" on the other. He takes his shirt off and throws it into the crowd.
Hentai Prince: The TV champ is here!
Jack Schlongson: He’s an interesting one, isn’t he?
A loud booming voice is heard over the speakers
Make It A Win!
Live to Win blares as Michal Whin makes his way onto the stage. He holds up 3 fingers making a 'W', a huge grin plastered on his face.
He takes a run down the ramp and slides into the ring, leaping onto the turnbuckle, extending his arms out closing his eyes and taking it all in.
Hentai Prince: Time for that Whinning technique!
Jack Schlongson: Oh...the puns...they’re too much, Adam.
The start of 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor plays as the lights go off. After a brief moment, a spotlight shines next to the ring, where a man wearing a black hoodie stands, waiting. He grabs at the hood that is covering his head, and slowly drags it off, revealing his shoulder length blonde hair. He stretches his neck from side to side before unzipping the hoodie, and taking it off. He drops it on the ground behind him and stares into the ring. He walks slowly towards the ring apron where a microphone is placed, and he picks it up off of the apron. He climbs onto the apron, and turns around staring down the entrance ramp.
PerZag: My name is PerZag, and I am 'The Worthiest of All'.
He leans back against the ropes and puts both his arms out to the side, extended as the crowd gives him a mixed reaction. He turns around, and steps into the ring, through the ropes. He walks over to one of the corners of the ring, and leans against it waiting for the match to begin.
Hentai Prince: This man will be a champion one day, I’m sure of it!
Jack Schlongson: PerHaps.
The lights go out, its pitch black. Then the lights begin to strobe violently while Abnormity- Shattered to the bone plays, disorienting his opponent. While this is going on he sprints down the stage and into the ring and tries to get a cheap shot on his opponent.
DING DING DING!!
Hentai Prince: Here we go!
Jack Schlongson: As you’ve said, one of these men will advance to Killing Floor to fight for the top prize in the company.
As the match immediately turns into a Looney Tunes level ball of chaos and flying fists, Jericho Salazar steps back from the herd before leaping back in to catch one off guard.
Hentai Prince: Superman punch to Ryan Jones!
Jericho shouts at the downed champion, laughing to himself a bit in celebration.
Jack Schlongson: Michal Whin from behind though!
Hentai Prince: Whin has just thrown Jericho out of the match!
Taylor Lorde: Jericho Salazar has been eliminated!
Michal Whin jumps up and down in excitement due to his accomplishment.
Jack Schlongson: Fang with the big boot to PerZag!
Fang roars out, hyping himself up before turning to the still celebrating Michael Whin.
Hentai Prince: Fatal Shot to Whin!
Jack Schlongson: No! Inverted suplex attempt! Whin drops Fang onto the apron!
PerZag gets back to his feet as Whin and Fang gather themselves.
Hentai Prince: Discus forearm to Whin!
Jack Schlongson: Whin ducks it!
Hentai Prince: Right on the button! Fang is out!
Taylor Lorde: Jonathan Porter has been eliminated!
Jack Schlongson: Now it’s just three!
PerZag lifts Whin to his feet, Whin ducks a right, turning around into a setup from PerZag.
Hentai Prince: Worthiest Move of All!
PerZag tries to pull Whin up, but is caught from behind.
Jack Schlongson: Here comes Ryan Jones!
Hentai Prince: Axe handle to the back of PerZag’s head there!
As PerZag drops to a knee, Jones now attempts to pull Whin up, going for the elimination himself.
Jack Schlongson: PerZag back up with a chop block to the back of Ryan’s knee!
PerZag gets back to a vertical base as he tries once again to eliminate Whin.
Hentai Prince: Whin shifting momentum and whipping PerZag out onto the apron!
Jack Schlongson: Whin trying his best to push PerZag off now!
PerZag dodges a forearm from Whin, catching him and lifting him out and into the air as he rotates his opponent’s body mid-air.
Hentai Prince: PERZAG PERFECTION ON THE APRON!
Jack Schlongson: HOLY..
Whin hits the apron with a sickening thud before limply rolling off and to the ground below.
Taylor Lorde: Michal Whin has been eliminated!
Hentai Prince: Down to two now!
PerZag steps back through the ropes, going immediately for Jones, but is met with a couple of shoulder thrusts to the midsection before both men steady themselves and begins to trade punches.
Jack Schlongson: PerZag whipping Jones off the ropes now!
Jones bounces off the ropes, ducking under a clothesline attempt from PerZag before nearing the opposite side of them.
Hentai Prince: Jones up on the ropes now!
Jack Schlongson: SPRINGBOARD EOD! MY GOD!
Hentai Prince: A FLYING SUPERKICK?!
Ryan’s knees buckle a bit when he comes back to Earth, but he wastes no time in picking up a now limp PerZag.
Jack Schlongson: PerZag is out cold!
Hentai Prince: Over the top he goes!
DING DING DING!!
Taylor Lorde: Your winner, Ryan Jones!
Jack Schlongson: Ryan Jones has done it! He’s heading to Killing Floor!
Hentai Prince: If that last move is any indicator, he’s going to be a threat in that structure!
Celeste Mallory vs Jay Omega
"15 Minutes" by Egypt Central hits the P.A. system and green lights strobe in random places throughout the crowd in time with the guitar. A thin layer of fog floats across the stage, and Jay Omega struts out to the top of the ramp.
Taylor Lorde: Making his way to the ring, from the Imperial Isle of Maritopia... JAY OMEGA!
Jack Schlongson: Oh here the match I've been waiting for. The return of hunky Jay Omega as he is pitted against my bestie for life, Celeste Mallory.
Adam Kurosawa: Being that Mallory has been on something of a roll, even beating yours truly, it'll be interesting to see how she pairs up against such a revered competitor as Jay Omega, a man who has had quite the win loss record in UCI.
Omega stands on the stage for a moment with his arms spread and a cocky smirk on his face, then casually makes his way down the ramp, crossing back and forth to slap hands with fans. At ringside Jay hops up onto the apron, then vaults over the ropes before crossing the ring and climbing up to the second turnbuckle. Omega poses for the crowd amidst a flickering strobe effect from thousands of cameraphone flashbulbs, then drops down and leans back into the corner to await the bell.
The arena goes dark. The pulsating sounds of the theme begin to play as the words begin to ring….
Jack Schlongson: Here she is!
Thou Shall Not Fall….
Thou Shall Not Die….
Thou Shall Not Feel….
Thou Shall Not Kill……
“Cry Little Sister” by I Will Never Be The Same plays throughout the arena as Celeste Mallory slowly walks out and looks around as she smirks to the crowd. Her long dark brown hair is in a high ponytail and she flings it over her right shoulder before heading to the ring.
Jack Schlongson: You go girl!
She stops to look around for a bit at the fans, Celeste even will approach some and rub her fingers across their faces before slowly sliding into the ring. She spreads her arms out in the middle of the ring and looks over at the referee, smiles and winks at him gesturing for him to help her take off the leather jacket which he does, she then turns, smiles and winks at him.
Afterwards, she lays across the bottom rope in the corner as she waits for the match to start patiently.
Jack Schlongson: Its important to note to all the dearies watching at home that there is nothing on the line here accept for pride.
Adam Kurosawa: Yes, but to two competitors, on such an important stage, that could be everything! Surely, even as they standing across from each other in that ring, they must be finalizing their plans on how to defeat the other.
The bell rings and the two opponents approach the center of the ring, locking up in a collar-elbow-tie-up. Jay Omega, using his strength advantage, pushes Celeste back into her own corner, the referee runs over to count for Omega to let go and back up, but Celeste is quick to push back and power her way out of the tough spot, moving the two back into the center of the ring.
Jack Schlongson: No doubt that masterly sculpted body of Omega's puts Mallory at a bit of a disadvantage, but my bestie is fierce and is going to put Omega's bulging muscles to the test.
Jay Omega wrenches out of Mallory's grasp and pulls her into a headlock. Mallory moves backwards into the ropes with her opponent and uses the leverage to bounce him back, whipping him into the opposite side. He rebounds and on his way back Mallory ducks under and Omega leap frogs over, sending him against the other ropes, but when coming back, he is met with a stiff drop kick from his opponent, sending him to the mat.
Adam Kurosawa: Strong start from Mallory in the opening of this match. The Hentai Prince noticed Omega was quick to assert his strength advantage, but Mallory, being no stranger to being in such a predicament, knew her way out and was quick to follow up with a drop kick.
Jack Schlongson: Thats my girl! She got the moves like Jagger!
Mallory capitalizes quickly on her downed opponent by getting him in a grounded headlock, wrenching back on the neck. Jay Omega works himself back up to a vertical base, his arm around Mallory's waist as he backs into the ropes and returns the favor by whipping her away, but before she hits the ropes, she slides under and out of the ring, taking a small breather on the outside.
Adam Kurosawa: Omega tried to turn it around on Mallory, no doubt looking to hit a rolling wheel kick or something of the sort on his opponent's way back, but Mallory was quick to see it coming and duck under the ropes.
Jack Schlongson: That is why she is the B-E-S-T, BEST!
Jay Omega walks over to the ropes, yelling at Mallory to get back in the ring, but the referee gets between him and the ropes, telling Omega to back off. With the momentary distraction, Mallory is quick to leap onto the apron and push the referee into Omega, sending them both stumbling. Mallory jumps up and spring boards off of the top rope. The referee turns in time and ducks as Mallory his Omega with a flying cross body. Hitting the mat, she goes for the pin.
Adam Kurosawa: Can't say The Hentai Prince approves of using the referee, but that doesn't mean one can't appreciate the quick thinking on Celeste's part.
Celeste is quick to capitalize by moving back to a grounded headlock, forcing Omega once again to struggle to a vertical base. Falling back into the ropes he goes and whips her away, but this time grabs the back of her attire and, while throwing her off her guards, pulls her immediately backwards as he goes for a high kick to the back of the head, sending her to the mat.
Adam Kurosawa: Nice solid kick from Omega, this time not even giving Celeste the opportunity to use it to her advantage.
Jack Schlongson: I think he pulled her hair, anyone else see that?! I think the referee missed it!
Omega grabs Mallory and pulls her back to her feet, setting her up as she stands a little groggy. He kicks her in the gut, sending her bending over in pain. He grabs her around the waist and hoists her up for a gut wrench power bomb, but as she comes up, she utilizes that momentum and pushes herself over Omega's head, landing on her feet behind him. As he turns around she reels back and hits him with a hard elbow to the temple. She quickly bounces off the ropes, but on the way back she is met with a quick superkick to the chin, sending her to the mat. He turns to face away and flips for a standing moonsault, connecting before going for the pin.
Mallory kicks out.
Jack Schlongson: Thats why she is a future World Champion! My girl is resilient.
Adam Kurosawa: Wasn't enough for a three count, but I think that Omega' tit-for-tat offence has left a mark. Celeste better readjust her plans if she wants to outsmart such a supremely talented athlete.
Omega is the first to his feet, pulling Mallory the rest of the way before pushing her back into the ropes and whipping her across, but Mallory reverses it, sending Omega instead. She quickly runs in behind him and as he turns to bounce off the ropes, she comes running it with a clothesline against the ropes. She grabs his arm and whips him across, following him again and landing another clothesline.
Adam Kurosawa: Celeste determined to win back dominance in this match-up, using her slightly unorthodox style to try and throw Omega off. These two seem to be doing incredibly well against each other, showing both skills, wit, and speed in this match up.
Jack Schlongson: See, you see it as an evenly divided match, but I just see my home-girl just bidding her time until she is ready to strike and end this match. As much as I like to watch Omega, I KNOW who this match is in favor of.
Mallory goes for the move a third time, but mid-ring, Omega plants his feet and strikes with a back elbow, colliding hard with his opponents face, sending her backwards. Omega turns and hits a stiff Shotei palm strike. Gaining the upper hand, he strikes with a few more in rapid succession, before pulling Mallory close and wrapping his arms around her before throwing her over his head.
Adam Kurosawa: Powerful belly to belly from Omega. Omega is great at being able to call him opponents if he feels he is getting a handle on some sort of pattern, as we just saw there. Celeste made one-too many attempts and paid for it.
Jack Schlongson: Maybe for now, but I think there is enough for Celeste to work with that my boo isn't gonna have to keep going back to the same well again and again.
Omega gets to his feet and, seeing Mallory in a perfect position, runs over to the turnbuckle, quickly climbing it. He leaps through the air, aiming to land a Frog Splash.
Adam Kurosawa: AND IT CONNECTS!
Jack Schlongson: BOO!
He goes for the cover.
Mallory manages to get an arm up and Omega rolls off, both competitors reeling from that big move.
Both rise to their feet and begin to trade blows. Closed fists from Mallory, shotei palm strikes from Omega. The referee tries to call for open palms from Mallory, but keeps getting interrupted by a strike from Omega landing on the jaw of Mallory.
Omega raises his leg and hits Mallory square in the side of the head with a kick, but Mallory is quick to return it with a kick to the ribs of Omega. Omega attempts to go for an Enziguiri, but Mallory ducks her head and grabs Omega's leg as he goes down, pulling him to one foot, holding onto the other. After a moment, Mallory pulls Omega in and his a Spinebuster.
Jack Schlongson: She scouted that kick and was quick to follow up. As much as they are trading blows, Mallory is finding ways around them. See, a lot of this match has been Mallory outsmarting Omega, because thats how my bestie do!
Mallory walks over and climbs the turnbuckle to the top. She leaps off the top for an elbow drop.
Jack Schlongson: The Devil Spike!
Omega gets his knees up, driving them deep into Mallory's ribs, sending her writhing in pain as she clutches at her chest.
Adam Kurosawa: Cringing Prince Technique! You could see those knees get literally DRIVEN into Celeste's ribs.
Omega is first to his feet, slowly pulling Mallory to her's. Mallory throws a punch out of desperation, knocking Omega back. She grabs the back of Omega's head and pulls him in for a knee to the gut. Mallory darts away from Omega and bounces off the rope as she comes running back she sees Omega charging at her, but she is quick, placing a hand upon his forehead and sweeping out his legs from under him. Sending him down hard to the mat.
Jack Schlongson: STIR OF ECHOES!
Mallory goes for the pin, bringing her legs onto the ropes of leverage.
Jack Schlongson: YES! YES! HAHA!
Taylor Lorde: Your winner...CELESTE MALLORY
Johnny Rabid vs Gemini Battle
Jack Schlongson: So far Jayson Price presents A Nightmare on South Street has been a great show. But it could be improved by Andre Holmes coming out here and sitting on my lap. You know for tag solidarity.
Jack Schlongson: What? Cat got your tongue? You can use it for things other then talking if you want... Do I make you nervous?
Hentai Prince: That's my new Prince technique for dealing with wildly inappropriate things you say. I ignore them and say nothing.
Jack Schlongson: Well that's no fun.
Hentai Prince: It is for me. Up next we have a match between Johnny Rabid and Gemini Battle, two wrestlers who may just be entering their prime as competitors.
Jack Schlongson: And more importantly they have nasty intentions toward each other. This should be interesting..
“Falling Higher” by Helloween plays throughout the arena as Gemini Battle makes his way through the entrance curtain. The crowd cheers as he accepts the praise of the fans by slapping their hands, but never smiles as he heads to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope and slithers like a snake into the corner where he sits in the corner and meditates until it’s time to get up and ready to fight.
Jack Schlongson: I am really a big fan of people showing off their snake...
Hentai Prince: I am a prince. Why couldn't I have at least got a court jester to announce with me?
“Death Breath - Toxic Avenger Remix” by Bring Me The Horizon hits as a huge pyrotechnic barrage explodes around the infinity-tron. As the smoke clears, we see Johnny Rabid standing tall; arms out stretched as he spins on the spot. Rabid struts down the ramp, snarling and gnashing his teeth at a stray cameraman as Johnny's name appears on a Slam Graphic. Meanwhile, Rabid's 'tron plays in the background; it's Johnny hitting the Kingdom Destroyer on a cavalcade of doomed jobbers, this scene is intercut with footage of Lon Chaney in Tod Browning's "London After Midnight" (1927). Rabid reaches the ramp and climbs the turnbuckle, “smelling” the boo's from the crowd before taking off his black trench-coat and shades and waving his hapless opponent on with a cocky smirk on his face.
Gemini Battle responses to the wave by connecting with a dropkick! Rabid meanwhile is tied up in his trench coat which he only managed to get halfway off. Gem mounts Rabid and unloads on the Ripper with a series of forearms. Johnny rolls from the ring trying to get himself situated. But Battle gives him no break launching himself over the top rope with a flying suicide dive to the floor!
Hentai Prince: SUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER GEMINI! THE NEW HERO OF THE UCI UNIVERSE FLIES!
Jack Schlongson: He's not the hero Johnny Rabid wants or needs. Goodnight! Gemini Battle just clotheslined Rabid over the guard rail and into this bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans! They might just kill him!
Johnny Rabid literally fights his way back over the railing and Gemini Battle missile dropkicks him from the ring apron sending him back into the crowd!
Hentai Prince: Gemini Battle seems to be really enjoying himself tonight! Johnny Rabid not so much.
And Rabid disappears into the front row of fans who seem to be really getting their money's worth for those expensive seats. Gemini goes over to the fans this time to pull Johnny out of the crowd himself. He reaches for Rabid and suddenly collapses. Johnny Rabid smiles broadly, proudly holding up the wrench he got from one of the fans.
Jack Schlongson: Johnny Rabid bringing the dirty tricks! I love it!
Johnny climbs over the railing and drags the limb form of Gemini Battle into the ring. He makes a cocky one foot cover.
Johnny Rabid parades around the ring basking in the boos again. Meanwhile referee Scotty Beamman is trying to tell Rabid Gem got the shoulder up at the last second. Johnny doesn't take the news well grabbing the official around the throat.
Hentai Prince: This may be the only night Johnny Rabid is in the UCI! He appears to just be trying to do as much damage to as many people as possible!
Jack Schlongson: A sound strategy.
Gemini Battle breaks up the fun however with a superman punch! The relieved official backs off as Rabid stumbles to a corner and eats a huge running splash from the battle tested veteran! Not content Gemini pumps up the crowd and goes to the top rope launching himself across the ring with a more high impact version of the corner splash this one sends Rabid over the top rope with the huge impact and snaps Gemini Battle back towards the middle of the ring!
Hentai Prince: What impact! Gemini Battle may have knocked Johnny Rabid out cold with that impressive move! Almost as impressive as a flawless Prince victory.. I said almost!
Johnny Rabid rises at the referee's count of six and gives a forget about it wave of his hand towards Gemini. He starts to slowly back away up the ramp. Gemini Battle not wanting the match to end like that, exits the ring and sprints up the ramp after Rabid. Gemini quickly catches up to Rabid and starts to trade punches with him. After the early onslaught Gemini appears to be gaining a serious advantage here until Johnny comes back with a low blow then drops Gemini with a spinebuster on the ring ramp. Johnny backs off, giving a sick smile and charges punting Gem in the head causing him to roll down the ramp towards the ring.
Jack Schlongson: What a brilliant move from Johnny Rabid!
Hentai Prince: Brilliant? He cheated!
Jack Schlongson: You just don't understand brilliance Prince.
Johnny Rabid slowly walks towards the ring, stepping on Gemini before walking up the steps and entering the ring at the count of 8. The referee showing he's surprisingly brave starts to berate Rabid for his actions. Johnny waves off the referee's arguments demeaningly demanding he count Battle out. Finally the referee begins to lay the count on Battle. But Gemini fights his way back up to the ring apron only to be knocked silly by a headbutt from Rabid.
Hentai Prince: Gemini Battle showing why he's a former world champion, current television champion, record holder in a certain battle royal match..
Jack Schlongson: You can't talk about that! You have to know Adam, some stuff crosses a line.
Rabid goes to suplex Battle back into the ring but Gemini turns it into a small package!
kick out then a vicious clothesline from Johnny! Rabid pulls Gemini up and boots him in the guts.. executing a powerbomb... then pulling him up and nailing a second powerbomb! He lifts him up again nailing a third powerbomb! Johnny acts like he's going to release the grip, teasing the crowd, then smashes Gem with a fourth powerbomb! Johnny grins, thinking Battle is out cold and makes the pin.
NOOO! Gemini kicked out just before the three count! Johnny Rabid doesn't seem concerned at all. He instead casually climbs to the top rope. Looking down at the almost motionless Gemini Battle and launching himself off the top rope with a picture perfect moonsault! The only thing that would have made it better was if Battle didn't roll out of the way!
Hentai Prince: Both men are down! What a match!
Jack Schlongson: Referee is laying the count on both of them. You know.. I think Gemini has a weapon stuffed down the front of his pants. I better go get that...
Hentai Prince: YOU STAY HERE!
Johnny gets up first and drops an elbow but Gemini rolls out of the way of that as well! A second elbow drop is also missed! Gemini nails a superkick! With Rabid down he shouts out he's gonna show him how it's done and goes to the top rope launching himself off with a moonsault of his own! This one connects!
foot on the ropes
Gemini celebrates briefly but quickly notices otherwise as Rabid rolls out of the ring.
Jack Schlongson: Rabid is trapping him here. Everytime they go to the floor he gets the advantage back.
Hentai Prince: Battle doesn't fall for it! He reaches over the ropes and grabs Rabid by the hair pulling him back onto the ring apron then snapping his neck down against the top rope!
Johnny rolls back into the ring and pulls himself to his feet looking dazed as Gemini roars just before impact dropping Rabid with a vicious spear! He makes the cover.
Gemini pulls Rabid up and unloads on him with a series of knife edge chops knocking him around the ring. Gemini seeing his opponent is in bad shape charges for another spear only to have Rabid catch him mid move with a vicious implant DDT! Johnny drapes an arm across Battle.
Rabid, not seemingly amused at all anymore, starts to stomp the life out of Battle. He roughly pulls him to his feet and nails a german suplex on Battle. Then rotates his hips to do it again. However Gemini reverses things and nails a german of his own instead!
Hentai Prince: What a war this match is! Neither of these guys are giving the other an inch!
Gemini charges with a running knee only to have Johnny Rabid chop block him on the way down leaving both men on the mat once again. Rabid rubbing his sore jaw executes a second chop block on Battle before deciding to go for.. and lock in... the boston crab!
Jack Schlongson: This is a smart move. He can either get a submission or neutralize a lot of Gemini's offense with this. I just wish this was an ultimate surrender match.
Hentai Prince: And I just wish I had anyone else announcing with me. Wait.. Gemini Battle is sitting up and he has reversed the boston crab! Now all the pressure is on Rabid!
Johnny manages to get to the ropes and both men slowly get back to their feet again only to have Gemini connect with a teardrop suplex. He covers.
Rabid manages to weakly kick out just enough. Gemini drags Rabid up only to be caught with a jawbreaker then a european uppercut sending Gemini flying into the corner. Johnny yells out that's it and runs the ropes launching himself for a flying crucifix...
Jack Schlongson: Kingdom Destroyer! This is over!
Hentai Prince: COUNTERED!
Gemini spins Rabid around and drives Johnny down hard with a micknoku driver into a cradle pin!
No, Gemini drops the cradle directly before the pin due to Rabid delivered an elbow directly into the groin region of Battle.
Hentai Prince: He did that on purpose!
Jack Schlongson: He did not.. and if he did no one can prove it!
The referee tries to get Johnny to admit he did it on purpose but the veteran is too smart for that and denies everything. The referee who doesn't really buy it but like Jack said he can't prove intent. Johnny watches as Gemini gets up doubled over then Rabid bounces off the ropes this time the Kingdom Destroyer is hit!
Taylor Lorde: Your winner of the match, Johnny Rabid!
Last Man Standing Match
Andre Holmes vs Dune
Live from the 2300 Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the amazing night one of Nightmare on South Street has really changed the game tonight. Every match on the card of night one has been completely amazing, and it’s all thanks to the general manager of UCI, Jayson Price. Now we cut to the commentary table that features Jack Schlongson, and The Hentai Prince.
Hentai Prince: Konichiwa! Welcome back to a Nightmare on South Street: Night One! I’m Adam Kurosawa better known as The Hentai Prince, and alongside me is my very own partner, Jack Schlongson!
Jack Schlongson: First of all, the only partner I have is Andre Holmes who is next up on taking that raggedy old man Dune in a Last Man Standing match in the co-main event. I am worried for my baby, this is a big opportunity but I’m concerned for his health.
Hentai Prince: But Andre demanded to face the amazing, and soon to be Hall of Famer Dune on this night because Dune is his dream opponent from the WCF days. Some people would call him stupid but I say he’s so KAWAII!
Jack Schlongson: He’s representing #TeamRekless, the new UCI Tag Team Champions. He’s going to win because I will be at the commentary table calling his match, and giving him the only inspiration. The inspiration of Jack Schlongson; his lover.
Hentai Prince: ...Right. Time to get into this match with the totally Tsundere Taylor Lorde waiting to introduce the competitor, and also explain the rules of the match. Take it away Taylor!
Taylor Lorde is standing in the center of the ring; surrounded by the loyal fans to UCI, and also Jayson Price. Wearing her signature blue dress, and black high heels. She gets the cue from the production team to begin with the match introductions.
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Lorde: Ladies, and gentlemen! This is our co-main event of the evening, and it is a Last Man Standing match! In order to win this match, a competitor must ensure that he cannot respond to the ten-second count by the referee.
The arena’s lights slowly dims when the introductory guitar riff starts playing around the arena. “Relentless” by New Years Day is the first entrance music to begin playing insinuating a positive crowd reaction from the UCI fans in the building. Andre Holmes walks out from the crowd; standing at the top of aisle with his black, and red leather jacket with the hoodie covering his head but not his face.
He walks down the stairs wearing his signature black MMA gloves, elbow pads, and knee pads. His red, and black wrestling tights, wrestling shoes both having his last name printed in red graphic designing but never forget the signature forearm black, and red sleeve on his right arm. Andre kept marching down the stairs ready for action; storming around to the ring in his wake.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing first! Hailing from Houston, Texas! At five feet, nine inches tall, weighing in at 205 pounds. He is one half of the UCI Tag Team Champions, “Relentless” Andre Holmes!
Andre quickly hops onto the apron holding that UCI Tag Team Championship belt in his right hand. With the song lyrics, “Tear Me Down, It Won’t Build You Up…”, he quickly climbs onto the middle turnbuckle outside of the ropes to raise the belt up high with the entire arena falling into complete darkness. A spotlight emerges behind his figure to give off that silhouette visual effect to the crowd.
Jack Schlongson: God damn, my man is so sexy! My true partner is going to beat Dune in the effort of #TeamRekless, and show how much my inspiration is the key to him winning this match.
Hentai Prince: You don’t think he could win without you?
Andre quickly walks to the ropes once his music fades, and flips off Jack who waves his hand disregarding his impulsive disrespectful gestures. He is pacing back, and forth in the ring hyping himself up, and also demanding for Dune to show up in the match right now. You can really tell he wants Dune so badly.
Hentai Prince: He’s fired up. The Yandere Andre Holmes is demanding Dune to, and I quote, “Get his dumb ass out here now.” Talk about a fighting spirit, so YANDERE!
Jack Schlongson: Ew. I don’t appreciate his disrespectful attitude but I can understand that he is very angry at Dune not really treating him as an equal competitor. Dune will know that #TeamRekless is to be feared at all times!
Silence succumbs the arena the moment “The Pink Room” by David Lynch picks up around the arena, and everyone is looking around for him. It’s not long until the cameras point to a man walking out from the original entrance with a deep red light shining behind the monster Dune, and the silhouette of his monsterly figure is shown before all. Andre stands at his corner; balling his fists.
Crowd: DUNE! DUNE! DUNE! DUNE!
He walks among the fog covering the entrance path to the ring; deep scary eyes fixated on Andre Holmes who publicly challenged him to this match. Dressed with that charcoal half-mask around his face, black elbow pad on his left arm, white tape around his wrists, and fingers, black long tights, black, and gold knee pads, and his black & gold boots. Not to mention the hourglass viper seal on his pants.
Taylor Lorde: Introducing his opponent! Hailing from Mojave Desert, United States of America! At six feet, five inches tall, weighing in at 276 pounds. He is Dune!
Dune stands before the apron until leaping up right on it. He quickly swings through the ropes, and stays in his corner without even blinking an eye at Andre’s direction. Holmes on the other hand has handed his accessories, and UCI Tag Team Championship belt right to a ringside crew member.
Hentai Prince: He’s so big, and scary. Oh no. He look like The Tiger King from One Punch Man. Andre, I hope you know what you’re doing. Dune is so freakin’ scary!
Jack Schlongson: Of course he knows what he’s doing. He knew by tagging with me, we would become champions. He can defeat Dune all on his own but asked me to commentate so I could be his inspiration, and motivation to do so. What a nice fella.
Taylor Lorde is already outside of the ring, and the referee gets the cue from production to begin the match. Dune, and Andre both nod to the referee thus he claps his hands to start the Last Man Standing match officially.
Ding Ding Ding!
Andre charges across the ring, wasting no time, and ready to get the match in his favor. He quickly leaps in the air, and barely drives Dune back with an elbow into his mask. After that surprisingly worked, Holmes starts unleashing a fast flurry of elbow strikes into his cheek to try, and put him down as early as possible but Dune shoves him up sending him into a backwards roll across the ring.
Crowd: ANDRE HOLMES! LET'S GO DUNE! ANDRE HOLMES! LET’S GO DUNE!
Jack Schlongson: There goes my hubby taking it right to Dune! Go Andre Go!
He’s already back on his feet, and charges across the ring to repeat the same action. Shoving his opponent back into the turnbuckles of his corner with a leaping elbow, and following it up with more elbows into the mask. Dune shoves him off again allowing Andre to roll back across the center, and back onto his feet but third time's a charm doesn’t work. He charges into Dune to get a Uranage Slam.
Hentai Prince: Uranage Slam by Dune! Andre landed on his shoulders, and almost the back of his head. You saw how his spine contorted from the sheer impact of that? Oh my, I hope he’s okay, and can still fight!
Andre rolls along the canvas in sheer pain as Dune grapples his large hands around his head. He tosses his opponent up with his back pressed against turnbuckles like a heap of paper. Even worse for Andre’s ribs, and chest to be battered by the boxing combinations that is really imploding on his chest, and ribcage. Finally, Dune ends it with a Short Arm Clothesline lifting his feet off the mat, and dropping him.
Crowd: DUNE! DUNE! DUNE! DUNE! DUNE! DUNE!
Jack Schlongson: Fight Andre Fight! You’re better than that old fart! Get up!
He’s struggling to make a comeback. Remember that Dune has the size, height, and power advantage hence why it was foolish of Andre to just charge him. Dune keeps working on his body by constantly kicking him down on the canvas, not even allowing the referee to get in the first ten count of the match. He helps Andre up then ragdoll throws him across the ring to the other adjacent corner.
Crowd: LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO DUNE! LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO DUNE!
Holmes manages to stand on his feet in the opposing corner which allows Dune to charge across the ring into his own corner. Luckily, he sidesteps allowing the beast to crash chest first into the turnbuckles then kicking him in the back of his head with a Gamengiri. In that little moment of stunning Dune, he quickly works him in the center of the ring with back to back Roundhouse kicks in the thigh, and chest.
Hentai Prince: Andre Holmes managed to move out of the way, and nail Dune with a Gamengiri to the back of his head! Listen to all the Moe Stars here in Philadelphia really encouraging Andre to fight for his entire life!
Dune goes for a quick Short Arm Clothesline but Andre ducks under his right arm, and uses that opportunity to strike his mask again with an Enguiziri Kick. With his opponent leaned back against the ropes, Holmes charges forward only to be lifted over the top rope but his ring awareness kicks in for him to land on the apron. Unfortunately, Dune recognized him, and knocked him off with a Back Spinning Fist.
Andre’s body quickly collapses to the ringside mat, and Dune follows after him. Landing on his ground, he drags his opponent by the head to the nearest barricade, and hooks his ankles under each pit. Back, and forth he swings his body into the barricade with each impact getting louder, and heavier. Having enough, Dune walks forward, and seals the deal with another throw into the steel steps allowing Andre to be down for the count.
Jack Schlongson: Get up Andre! Get up now! Come on babe, you can do it!
Hands grappled around the edge of the apron thus he manages to get up just before the five count. Dune intercepts him with a knee uppercutting his ribs, and almost makes him jump higher in the air than he already can. Pissing the monster off is never a good idea but it’s coming from the die hard attitude of Andre Holmes. He grappled his large hands around his opponent’s head, and runs him back first into the barricade. Andre collapses to the floor; yelling in pain, back cringing, and body almost shaking.
Hentai Prince: Steel steps, barricades. Dune is really using everything around him as a weapon. Andre’s body right now is nothing more than battering ram. Human flesh does not work that way Dune! Not unless you’re Choji from Naruto! Not KAWAII!
Andre is still trying to fight back with multiple elbows into the ribs. Unfortunately, it’s going to take a lore more than that. So once again, he’s ragdolled near the commentary table where Dune takes a moment to walk around, and escort him out of that area again. A wicked chair shot is smacked across the back of Dune followed by another on the arm, another on the back, and one over the head to drop him against the apron.
Crowd: OH! OH! OH! OOOOOOOOH!
Jack Schlongson: YES BABE! FIGHT BACK! #TEAMREKLESS ALL THE WAY!
He keeps continuing the punishment. Blatantly disrespecting Dune by throwing the chair right into his head, and the impact knocks him down even more. Still on his knees, Andre stands off at his side to fire a continuous stream of Roundhouse kicks into his chest. The last time kick however is caught under Dune’s armpit but leaves him open to get clocked in the head with another Enguiziri Kick.
Crowd: ANDRE! ANDRE! ANDRE! ANDRE! ANDRE! ANDRE!
Dune is still on his feet but his legs are weakening from the constant head shots. Andre backs up a little bit to run forward ducking under his right arm again, and hopping onto the apron. He shoots off the apron to try, and Tornado DDT him onto the ringside mat but the strength of his opponent is unbearable. Dune shifts his body around to his right shoulder to charge forward, and drive his back into the ring post then Shoulder Powerslam him onto the ringside mat.
Jack Schlongson: BABE!
Hentai Prince: What will it take to put this monster down? Chair shots was used, Roundhouse kicks, Enguiziri Kicks and still Andre is being put down on the mat by just a Shoulder Powerslam into the ring post, and on the ringside mat. Did Andre bit off more than he could chew? Here’s the count!
Crowd: GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!
Jack Schlongson: Get up babe!
Andre manages to fight against the pain, and just pull himself up at the count of bridging six. The welts on his back are getting worse; red, and can’t suffer any more shots. Dune is really starting to get annoyed so he comes behind his opponent, and drives a vicious forearm deep into his spine. A few more forearms makes Andre fall to knees with his arms against the apron.
Crowd: LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO DUNE! LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO DUNE!
Picked up again, he is whipped spine first into the barricade again. Dune charges at him but Andre swerves out of the way allowing Dune to clash into the barricade ribs first. When he turns around, he sees his opponent already in the ring bouncing off the opposing ropes to come back, and Suicide Dive through the middle, and bottom rope to Spear Dune in the chest. However, he’s still not down.
Hentai Prince: Heat Seeking Missile! Heat Seeking Missile! Dune is still standing on his feet but very groggy against the barricade.
Andre reenters the ring again, and springs back to his feet. He charges into the opposing ropes to achieve maximum velocity on repeating the same Suicide Dive driving Dune harder against the barricade. His back nearly pushes it out of line, and Dune falls to his right knee unable to get up in the meantime for now.
Jack Schlongson: One more babe, one more, and he’s down!
Back in the ring, he stomps his foot on the mat. Running to the ropes, that added spring pushes him to run at full velocity thus Andre leaps over the top rope, and flips over to drive the momentum of his weight down on a crashing Dune thus finally putting the monster down to rest. Both men are down on the ringside mat, and the 2300 arena crowd are going wild.
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!
Although Andre was the reason for the crash, Dune is still the first to get up. He is trying to recover but Andre follows after him with elbows digging into into the back of his head. If the ring can’t handle it, maybe the crowd can. Both competitors of the match are pushing through the crowd section; Andre climbing up the stairs behind Dune along with the referee behind them.
Hentai Prince: Look out Moe Stars! We have a reckless Dune, and Andre Holmes fighting in the crowd. Don’t get hurt anyone.
Jack Schlongson: None of you touch my Andre Holmes, none of you!
Holmes is really trying to put pressure on his opponent. Constant elbow, and kick combinations into the midsection, chest or skull of Dune to keep pushing him back. On the crowd entrance, Andre pushed Dune back a bit to run into him but gets side swiped to crash through the heavy entrance/exit doors to the backstage area and concession stands of the 2100 Arena.
Jack Schlongson: Hey you old fart! Bring my babe back into the arena! He’s already gotten enough food of today. Why does everyone want what I have?!
The referee has to keep up on the action at all times; following the competitors no matter where they go. Dune helps Andre back up to his feet, and drags him around in the backstage area of the crowd section long enough to find a table. He throws all the stuff off, and sets Andre’s head in between his thighs for that temporary Powerbomb setup. This time, both his arms are Double Underhooked.
Hentai Prince: Oh no! Dune is getting ready for the Sandstorm! He’s going to Double Underhook Crucifix Powerbomb Andre Holmes through that table! If he lands this, it’s going to be over!
Andre’s back is lifted over Dune’s right shoulder but breaks off the hold to land behind him. One quick leap into the air backwards, and he manages to strike the top of his opponent’s head with a swift Pele Kick into the cerebral. Dune stumbles forward to bend over onto the table, and Andre gets up to hop onto a nearby table as well. He runs across that table to leap over, and Ghetto Stomp both his feet on the back of Dune’s head thus shoving him face first through the table.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Jack Schlongson: Ghetto Stomp through the table! Ghetto Stomp through the table! That’s my boy Andre! You see how #TeamRekless can beat anyone?! This is absolutely amazing. My babe is everything I wanted him to be!
He rolls forward from the landing, and stands on his right knee. Taking the moment to recover, and demanding the referee to start counting. Dune’s body is lying down on the broken table pieces; unresponsive to any movement that cues the official to start giving the count.
Dune just gets up. It takes a few moments to know where he’s at but he manages to get up in just a few seconds. However, Andre is nowhere to be found. Dune starts walking around to wonder where the hell his opponent went. Even the crowd doesn’t even know where Andre has gone so he starts walking around; dragging the referee with him by the collar to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere too.
Hentai Prince: Where did he go? He was just there. Any word from the cameras? Should we check the CCTV?
Dune is nearly at the exit of the arena, and just from behind, we spot Andre Holmes up on the ceiling of a concession standing carefully stalking Dune. He screams for him to turn around giving him the opportunity to leap down from the ceiling, and attempt a Diving Crossbody. He lands across the chest of his opponent but Dune stumbles back a few steps just to keep him held sideways across his entire body.
Jack Schlongson: Oh no, oh no, oh no! Please Dune, please!
He drops Andre across his knee in one backbreaker then across the other knee in another Backbreaker. Dune nods his head, and runs into the glass entrance doors to bash his body through the metal, and shatter the glass using his body as a battering ram. Ending this horrific sequence, he swings his body around off his shoulders, and Uranage Slam’s his back onto the glass, and concrete.
Hentai Prince: DUNE JUST TOOK OUT ANDRE’S BODY BY SMASHING HIM THROUGH THE GLASS DOORS OF THE ENTRANCE! OH MY GOD! WE NEED AN AMBULANCE NOW! PLEASE REF, COUNT HIM OUT, AND GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL!
The referee has no choice but to begin the count while Dune is still on his feet. He believes that Andre is out for the count, and just starts walking away with every step in perfect sync with the count.
Jack Schlongson: Not like this, not like this!
Hentai Prince: It’s over, Dune’s gonna’ win!
Dune stops in his tracks. He noticed that the referee stopped the count at nine, and he slowly turns around to see Andre still on his feet. Wobbly knees, shaking legs, blood dripping down his right hand. Holmes’ back is really messed up with some cuts due to being exposed to glass but he signals Dune to get over here, and fight him until he dies. Dune shakes his head, and marches back over to him again.
Hentai Prince: Andre stay down! You don’t need to prove anything! You’ve done enough! Just stay down, please Andre!
Jack Schlongson: Shut up Adam! Never deny the motivation, and power of #TeamRekless! He can do it, the fighting warrior inspired by Jack Schlongson himself!
Andre attempts another Roundhouse Kick but Dune blocks it easily. Instead, he deliver another powerful knee that tosses Andre onto the ground. Having enough, he dragged his bleeding back across the hot concrete to end it all now. Picking him up in his grasp near a 2016 Dodge Ram Truck, Dune quickly climbs up onto the back with his opponent still in his arms.
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!
Dune is done toying with his prey so he tries to reposition him but Andre is fighting back with more elbows into the flesh of his opponent. Therefore, there’s some resistance when he uproots a Rolling Elbow into the chin of Dune who almost falls off the edge of the truck but follows with a Snap DDT. Spiking him on the top of his head of the back of the 2017 Dodge Ram Truck.
Jack Schlongson: Baby no! No babe! Not like this!
Hentai Prince: Dune just nearly killed Andre Holmes with a Snap DDT onto the back of the RAM Dodge Truck, and he’s barely even moving. Dune is getting up but Andre isn’t. Here’s the count!
Dune manages to sit up on the edge of the truck, and look down at Andre. Something clicks in him that makes him tick. Desperately pulling his hands around his opponent’s head, and dragging him to the top of the truck. There, Dune can shove Andre’s head in between his thighs, and perform the Sandstorm to finish off the co-main event.
Hentai Prince: Oh no, oh no! He’s going to kill Andre Holmes! No! Not Kawaii! Help me Kyuubi! Help me!
Jack Schlongson: I gotta save my- WHAT?!
The impossible happens. Andre is fighting against the Double Underhooks; resisting every attempt to have Dune lock it in. Dune clubs his back a few times to get him stable, and he almost locks it in until Andre just breaks the hold, and manages to lift him up, and over. Thus, Back Body Dropping Dune’s entire body onto the windshield causing it to shatter.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!
Andre falls to his knees, and looks at Dune’s body positioned on the hood, in the windshield, and also halfway inside the interior of the car. While Andre slides off from the roof to the concrete, the referee is beginning his ten count.
Jack Schlongson: I never knew he was THAT strong especially with an almost destroyed spine!
Hentai Prince: Through all the pain, and torture. Andre is still finding a way to get back in this match, and survive- no. Win! Here is the official count from the referee. Is Dune going to get up?!
Crowd: LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO DUNE! LET’S GO ANDRE! LET’S GO DUNE!
Dune is showing signs of life, and he’s beginning to push his upper body outside of the car. Shifting his wieght around, he leaves his head hanging over the hood which leaves Andre the chance to sidestep, and Thrust Kick his temple. The impact rolls him over onto his chest positioning him sideways across the hood of the truck.
Jack Schlongson: THRUST KICK! IT’S OVER! #TEAMREKLESS WINS!
Hentai Prince: WOW, THIS COULD BE IT! THE REFEREE IS STARTING OVER!
Andre shoves the referee aside, and quickly punches the driver’s window allowing him to unlock the car from inside. He gets inside, and straps the seatbelt over his body then goes under the driver’s wheel to start playing with the wires.
Hentai Prince: What are you doing?! Andre had him right there!
Jack Schlongson: My baby must be hurt mentally. I think-
Suddenly, the engine of the RAM truck is roaring like a mothafucka. Andre shifts the gear into reverse with now multiple security personnel, and officials coming outside to prevent this. When he reverses the gear, he points the hood of it straight in the direction of the destroyed entrance. A few revs is heard with Andre having his hands tightly graspd around the steering wheel.
Hentai Prince: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! No, ANDRE, NO!
Jack Schlongson: INCOMING!!!
Andre slams his right foot on the gas pedal allowing the truck to have a short burn-out then puts the transmission into drive. The 2017 Dodge Ram Truck instantly shoots with Dune on it’s hood to plow through the entrance, and total the car into past multiple furniture than into a wall allowing Dune’s body to take the full blow of the hit. When the smoke clear, Andre is seen face first into an airbag, and Dune on the smashed up front end of the truck with furniture debris coveirng him.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Hentai Prince: HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK?! OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT WAS SO KAWAII! LISTEN TO ALL THE MOE STARS, I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE!
Jack Schlongson: Is my baby okay?! Andre?! ANDRE?!?!?!!!
Multiple officials such as security personnel, medical, and the referee of the match rush to the crash. The match is still going on so the count must be made to officially end it. Since both competitors are unable to respond, it’s time.
Crowd: ANDRE HOLMES! LET’S GO DUNE! ANDRE HOLMES! LET’S GO DUNE! ANDRE HOLMES!
Hentai Prince: We’re watching this live on the old ECW titantron as much as everyone else is in the arena. This match may be a draw but what’s important is the health of both Andre, and Dune!
Jack Schlongson: My baby is gone...no.
Andre slowly lifts his head up, and looks around to find where he’s at. He unhooks the seat belt, and opens the busted driver’s doort that eventually falls off from the hinges. Barely even standing, he leans against the side of the car waving smoke from his face while Dune is still unresponsive.
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Lorde: Here is your winner, Andre Holmes!
Andre collapses onto the floor with medical, and security now finally getting into the post-match to clear all the debris, and help each competitor to the nearest medical facilities. So much employees are doing their best to clean up what happened, and ensure nobody else gets hurt. However, the only person who got something out of this match was Andre Holmes.
Hentai Prince: I cannot believe this! I absolutely cannot believe what happened. Andre Holmes beat Dune, and is the last man standing! What a show, what a match! I hope the main event can top this!
Jack Schlongson: Nothing can be on top of Andre Holmes except me. Nothing. We’ll be right back.
Extreme Rules Match
Creeping Death/Steve Orbit/Jeff Purse vs Torture/Odin Balfore/Joey Flash
Jack Schlongson: We've had ourselves one hell of a show so far tonight. We've seen Andre Holmes defeat Dune in a Last Man Standing Match that far exceeded any expectations that we may have had.
The Hentai Prince: Johnny Rabid defeated Gemini Battle in an instant classic.
Jack Schlongson: Celeste Mallory overcame the odds and defeated Jay Omega, which should do a lot to push her to the top of UCI.
The Hentai Prince: And in our opening match we saw Ryan Jones win a Battle Royal to earn a place in the Killing Floor Match. What a huge win for him.
Jack Schlongson: But now it's time for our main event. A 6 man tag team Extreme Rules match that feature six of the biggest names in all of wrestling.
The Hentai Prince: Our General Manager went into his contacts list and called upon some old friends...and some not so friends...to come in and close out Night One. Creeping Death. Jeff Purse. Steve Orbit. Torture. Odin Balfore. Joey Flash.
Jack Schlongson: It's a literal who's who of World Champions and living legends from across the world, all in this match. I'm beyond excited.
The Hentai Prince: As am I. Well then le-
Hentai Prince is cut off as there's a loud ruckus from the crowd. The camera pans over as we fans scrambling from their seats as security begins backing through from the concession's area.
Jack Schlongson: What on Earth?!
The fans pop as from out of nowhere Jeff Purse is sent diving into a row of folding chairs. Odin Balfore steps over a pile of fallen chairs and raises a mighty fist into the air.
The Hentai Prince: Well here's 2 of the men we just named, but what the hell is going on. We're scheduled for an Extreme Rules Match, sure, but it hasn't even started!
Security trying to get in front of Balfore as another camera picks up on a crowd of fans gathering near the entrance area. Joey Flash has Steve Orbit backed against the barricade, laying into him with chops. The crowd lets out a "WOO" with each one.
Jack Schlongson: Can we get a little order here?
A loud crashing sound is heard elsewhere in the arena and a camera picks up on Creeping Death and Torture trading punches on top of a knocked over barricade as fans form a circle around them. Security is stretched thin as we've got three different brawls happening in the crowd and fans are trying to get a glimpse at the action.
The Hentai Prince: Oh god, we should have known something like this would happen. This is Philadelphia. The parents of these fans are probably the same people that once threw snowballs at Santa Claus during an Eagles game.
Orbit knocked over the barricade and into the fans and Flash climbs over after him. Purse trying to get to his feet and Odin grabs hold of him, but Purse counters with a chair shot to the gut. Purse with another shot to the ribs before dropping him with a shot across the back. The fans cheering as security tries to hold them back.
Jack Schlongson: Referees, crew members, whoever we have left back there, this is going to get out of hand!
Death and Torture still trading shots like a pair of prize fighters as the circle of fans around them draws tighter. Both feeling the crampedness and neither look happy as the raucous fans are posing for selfies and asking for autographs just feet from where they're brawling. Orbit and Flash trying to navigate through fans as they fight when Orbit goes for a Pimp Slap. Flash ducks it and goes for a Sudden Flash but misses and nails a fan in the face.
The Hentai Prince: ...uh oh.
The cheers turn to boos as Flash looks shocked that he missed, not so much about the fan. Nearby fans now advancing on Flash and he looks nervous. Orbit to his feet and he's trying to keep them back until a fan takes a swing at him. It's pandemonium now as fans are going at Orbit and Flash both. Security moving in but they can do little as Orbit and Flash are back to back, temporary allies as they're throwing punches at anything that moves at them.
Jack Schlongson: Oh we're going to end up with so many lawsuits after tonight.
A drunk fan in the circle around Torture and Death finally gets too chummy and slaps Torture on the back to thank him for coming to the show and Torture responds with an elbow to the nose. The fan is busted open and Creeping Death looks annoyed because he knows what's about to go down. Death now throwing his legendary elbows at the advancing fans as Torture is resorting to tackling the first fan that comes at him.
The Hentai Prince: Jack I'd think it was about time we take refuge under our desk.
Jack Schlongson: Oh Prince, I thought you'd never ask!
The Hentai Prince: It's not like that! The fans are-
Prince cut off as fans march past their table, trying to get at Odin and Purse, both of whom have chairs and are trying to keep fans at bay. There's some rustling as Hentai Prince and Jack Schlongson dive under the announce table.
Jack Schlongson: I can't tell if we're in a damn war zone or at a wrestling show. This is utter chaos.
Fans are all over the place, in the ring running around like idiots, trying to get through the curtain backstage but it seems as though the other wrestlers here tonight are trying to keep them back. We've got 6 wrestlers in this sea of at least 1300 fans fighting to stay alive. Odin Balfore and Jeff Purse have chairs raised but I doubt it'll keep the fans back. Creeping Death and Torture are trying to fight their way to the curtain but my god the number of fans suddenly seems to be in the tens of thousands the way they're screaming for their heads.
The Hentai Prince: I just saw Joey Flash hit another Sudden Flash on a fan. And now the fan's obese child is crying, popcorn shaking from his $17.00 jumbo bucket. Flash taking the time to comfort- wait. No he just punched the fat kid in the face. This is chaos.
Jack Schlongson: If I asked you to hold me, would you?
The Hentai Prince: I will not, but if we survive this I will take you up on that lunch invite.
Jack Schlongson: Thank you, Prince. Wait. WAIT! Yes, I hear sirens. The Philadelphia Police are finally on the scene, officers in full riot gear are charging into the arena. Thank god, it's finally over.
The Hentai Prince: Fans are scrambling to run, some are getting past but officers are snagging more than a few. Steve Orbit is slumped over a pile of folding chairs, looking exhausted.
Jack Schlongson: Careful Steve, I wouldn't move if I were you.
The Hentai Prince: I've lost track of Jeff Purse. Odin is still trying to hold fans at bay with a chair as police move in to help him. Torture still mounting a fan and punching him as Death is trying to pull him off.
Jack Schlongson: I'm being told that our feed is being cut. I guess the FCC finally found out that this show has gone to hell. God, what's tomorrow night going to be like?
The Hentai Prince: Will there even be a Night Two after this? I ca-
The feed to the show cuts to black.