Post by Dionysus on Dec 5, 2020 21:57:37 GMT -5
*NOTE: Any speaking lines with an asterisk at the beginning and end is supposed to be in Welsh.*
Lions…
Lions…
Tigers…
Bears…
Mighty creatures of the land…
But deep in the depths of the ocean…
Lies a terrifying and awe-inspiring creature…
This is the story of…
Whale Helmet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The winds swelled once more as the small fishing vessel Ocean Safari, struggles through a storm off the coast of Wales. The crew had obtained a bountiful haul, yet were too slow to avoid a serious storm approaching. While the crew was seasoned, even the high seas can pose a problem…and disaster is bound to strike.
Crewman: *WE NEED EVERYTHING STRAPPED DOWN NOW!*
Captain: *GET THE LINES IN! WE’RE GOING THROUGH THE STORM!*
A crack of lightning flashed across the sky, sending a web of bolts through the clouds, followed only by a low, ominous rumble of thunder. A large wave crashed against the side of the Ocean Safari, tilting the ship at a steep angle. Several crewmen were either tied down or holding onto cargo as anything loose slid or tumbled off the side of the ship.
AAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Crewman: *MAN OVERBOARD!*
Captain: *WE CAN'T RISK THE SHIP!*
Crewman: *WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM, SIR!*
Captain: *THAT IS AN ORDER! MAINTAIN YOUR POST!*
The captain turned back to the wheel, straining as hard as he could to level the ship out. The seven-foot crewman shoved the captain aside, taking the wheel and, after a minute of effort, was able to level out the ship. He turned to the captain, fury in his eyes.
Crewman: *I'M GOING AFTER HIM! DON'T FUCKING STOP ME!*
Captain: *NO, WAIT-*
He bolted out the door, grabbing a life jacket, some flares, and an inflatable raft. Another bolt of lightning flashed, showing the silhouette of the reckless crewman diving off the side of the Ocean Safari. It was a hard dive, with pain, followed by an instant chill, pulsing through his body. Tugging at the inflation tab, he quickly surfaced, climbing into the newly inflated raft. The crewman cracked as many flares as he could, tossing them into the ocean. I hope he finds them before these burn out, the crewman thought, as he kept the last flare for himself. In the distance, he could see the Ocean Safari begin to turn back around.
Crewman: *NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! GET OUT OF-*
He dropped the flare, mouth agape, as a massive wave formed in front of the Ocean Safari. All the crewman could do is watch as the ship was picked up by the wave...and quickly approached him too. He turned away from the wave, clutching at the raft and closing his eyes. Please God...let me live,
He felt the wave grab the raft.
The crewman fell into the ocean.
And this would prove to be the end of the good ship Ocean Safari.
...
...
The crewman refused to struggle, his body buffeted and battered beneath the waves.
...
His lungs were at the breaking point.
...
His vision began to fade...
...
...
...
And yet...fate had more in store for this crewman. The one that would eventually become...
Whale Helmet
Villains beware! A new hero has risen from the depths of the ocean! The Omega Orca, Whale Helmet!
No one knows who this mysterious man is nor where he comes from, but he has made a name for himself as a champion of truth, justice, and the Welsh way! From rescuing kittens from trees to stopping petty criminals, there is no job too small for the almighty Whale Helmet! Possessing the strength of an Orca and the speed of a Fin Whale, his greatest ability is using echolocation to find his prey and send them packing! And our hero's story continues here, at a branch of the Development Bank of Wales.
Episode 1: The World Cup
Masked Man 1: *EVERYONE KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN OR YOU WILL BE SHOT!*
Masked Man 2: *YOU HEARD HIM! ON THE FUCKING GROUND, NOW!*
Several armed men stormed into the bank, masks covering their faces. The armed men barked orders as many of the hostages cowered. The bank tellers were working diligently, albeit panicked, to stall while the police were coming.
Masked Man 1: *COME ON, WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG!*
Bank Manager: I-I-I-I'm sorry, sir, but-
Masked Man 1: *Fuck your apology! Just hurry the fuck up!*
Meanwhile, one of the other men was dealing with an older gentleman who refused to get to the ground. He was dressed in slacks, a sweater vest over a plain pink collared shirt, and his most distinguished feature was an eyepatch covering his right eye.
Masked Man 3: *GET ON THE GROUND NOW, YOU OLD FUCK!*
Old Man: Sorry? I don't speak Welsh.
Masked Man 3: Ooooh, funny guy, huh? GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND OR I'LL BL-
Old Man: Or you'll what? Shoot me? Do you think I really give a fuck? I drowned in more pussy last night than you ever will in your lifetime! Now back off, or-
In an instant, the commotion died as the front door chime went off. A tall man wearing a white suit, brown vest, and a whale mask entered into the bank. Our hero has finally arrived! He approaches the first teller, deposit slip and envelope in hand.
Whale Helmet: *Good afternoon, could you deposit this to my account, please?*
Teller: *...Are you serious right now?*
Whale Helmet: *Well yes. I'm not in any rush, so if there will be a delay, I can wait.*
Teller & Manager: ...
At their awkward silence, Whale Helmet looked around the bank, realizing it was in the process of being robbed. One of the masked men stepped up to him, a rifle pointed at his head. The one barking orders at the manager walked behind the counter, grabbing one of the large bags of pound notes. A third man seemed to be having trouble dealing with an older man near the entrance, as he stood there either as a man with nothing to lose, or a damn fool. Whale Helmet looked at the man pointing the gun at him.
Whale Helmet: *You don't want to do this. Put the gun down.*
Masked Man 2: *MAAAAN FUCK YOU! MAKE ME PUT IT DOWN!*
Whale Helmet: *Your words.*
After nodding to the bank workers and pointing at his ear, Whale Helmet began to take a deep breath, as the masked man took a step closer...
ATBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Whale Helmet bellowed at the top of his lungs, causing everyone to clutch at their ears. The rifles all clattered to the ground, the masked men visibly in pain. Quickly, Whale Helmet grabbed the shirt of the man in front of him, tossing him into the wall. The masked man slumped with his head in a plant and lay still, groaning in pain. The other masked man leapt over the counter, kicking Whale Helmet in the shoulder. Whale Helmet stumbled back, as the other masked man slid in front of him, arms raised to fight. The man tried kicking again, but Whale Helmet caught his leg. He pulled the masked man in and slammed him hard against the bank floor, knocking the wind out of the masked man. Whale Helmet slowly stood up, looking at the two men he knocked out, when he felt someone poke his back. Slowly turning to look, he saw the elderly man standing there, rubbing his right hand. Whale Helmet looked behind him, seeing the other assailant laid out in a chair. Nodding, he looked back to the old man.
Whale Helmet: *Not bad, old-timer.*
Old Man: Oh for fuck's sake, not you too. Do you know ANY lick of English?!
Whale Helmet stared, then slowly looked down. For as long as he could remember, Whale Helmet had a difficult time being able to speak English. While he could read and write just fine, his ability to speak the language was hindered, leaving his only fluent speaking language as Welsh.
Whale Helmet: ...Little. Speak...little.
Old Man: Well what you just did was damn impressive. What can I call you, lad?
Whale Helmet: Whale. Helmet.
Old Man: ...No shit, huh? Well, I've heard stranger. My name is Anton. I've been looking for you, actually; some friends of mine have told me about the things you have done for the city of Cardiff, after all. I wanted to give you an opportunity to take your message of truth and justice to a larger audience. There is a federation holding a contest for the World Cup, and I want to sponsor you as a competitor in it. What do you say, my boy?
Whale Helmet thought about the offer. He wanted to protect his home, but if he could also spread his message and inspire a new generation...
Whale Helmet: Atbay.
Anton: ...Is...that a yes? Or a no?
Whale Helmet: No. yes.
Anton: ...Close enough. Lets go; we have much to discuss...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenna Bauer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Action Wrestling World Cup is shaping up to be one of the premiere events to take place this December! Eight competitors from around the globe will compete to win the first ever Action Wrestling World Cup trophy! Tonight, live from the Action Wrestling Studio, we are sitting down with the largest, and maybe strangest, competitor to enter the contest: Whale Helmet! He is joined by his manager, Anton, and it is a pleasure to meet you both!
Anton: Thank you for that lovely introduction. We are gracious for the opportunity to showcase what my protégé, Whale Helmet, can really do.
Jenna Bauer: Fantastic! First, lets get a few words from Whale Helmet. How are you feeling about-
Anton: Oh, I'm sorry, I should mention that Whale Helmet has a hard time speaking English.
Jenna Bauer: Oh no! Well...did you want to say anything to your home country anyway?
Whale Helmet: Yes. Thank. You.
Jenna Bauer: Not a problem! Go right ahead!
Whale Helmet: *People of Wales, hello! It is I, your champion, your prize fighter, Whale Helmet! Champion of justice, from the mean streets of Cardiff to the quiet countryside of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. I am honored to be here representing the fine country of Wales, and I hope to do you all proud!
Jenna Bauer: So are you originally from Llan...Llanfairpw...
Whale Helmet: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
Jenna Bauer: Yes, that one!
Whale Helmet: *No, I only live there, but it is still a hometown to me. Plus, it is fun to say.*
Anton: Don't worry, I will translate. While he considers Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to be his hometown, he isn't originally from there. To tell the truth, he hasn't mentioned where he's really from, but I do know he is Welsh by birth.
Jenna Bauer: I see...well, lets move on to the competition. As I said before, the World Cup has eight competitors, all competing for the trophy and bragging rights for the entire year! In the first round, you're matched up against Kenyan Isara, a brutal wrestler who leaves destruction and broken bodies in his wake. We had a taste of what he can do at Clash 100, but I want to know what you think. How to you plan to take on The Samoan Striker?
Whale Helmet: *He's a talented wrestler, I will give you that. And reputation proceeds him. But that is all. I am not overly concerned about a wild man like Kenyan; where he has strength and barbarism, I have strength and focus. I don't just strike hard; I know where to strike hard. I'm not just brutal for the sake of brutality, I know when to be brutal and to take advantage of that. He might break bones, but I break expectations. I mean, look at me; I'm dressed like a fucking whale. Would YOU take me seriously? Of course not; I look like an after-school superhero cartoon. And that's how I know I can beat him; he, and my other competitors, are so focused on my appearance that they don't consider what the man behind the mask can do.*
Anton: He says he isn't worried about his first round match. A punk kid like Kenyan is a dime a dozen in Cardiff. He's focused, determined, and a careful fighter, nothing like that coconut kid-
Jenna Bauer: Could we not use-
Anton: Hey, its his words, not mine. Anyway, I have witnessed him fight crime while visiting friends in Cardiff. He stopped a bank robbery on his own. And why? Because they thought he was an easy target. A guy dressed like a superhero in a suit? Come on; even I would try to stuff the weirdo in a fuckin' locker. He used that hesitation to his advantage. Underestimate my fighter at your own peril, Action Wrestling.
Jenna Bauer: I certainly wouldn't! So, should you advance through the tournament, who would you most like to compete with between Fortune and Nio?
Whale Helmet: *Fortune is a mystery, but I think Nio gives me the best chance at a great fight. Don't get me wrong; I want an actual fight, and while Fortune seems imposing, he seems like nothing more than a trickster. He's more sleight of hand than "get these hands!" Nio, on the other hand, is a fighter through and through, and definitely a worthy challenge for me. He seems technically gifted and understands what it will take to win. It would be great to squash.*
Anton: Look, I'm not going to completely discredit his two opponents, but they really aren't worth his time. I mean come on; a magician and some hoser? His sights are firmly on the cup.
Whale Helmet: ...
Jenna Bauer: O...kay...so Whale Helmet, who would you most like to meet in the finals, should you get there?
Whale Helmet: *Lets work from the bottom of the list and work up. Marcel Vogel? You mean Diet Tyson? No thanks; he's the skidmark on the underpants of this tournament. He'll blow up about as well as the one in Florence, Oregon: opened up wide and his insides all over the ring. Acar could be fun to fight; a love of pit fighting means his style would be the most varied. I only hope his age doesn't hinder his progress. Nostrazo is another mystery guy like Fortune that I really can't take seriously. I mean, "The Forgotten Beast?" That means people know you, you bum! Lets forget him and end with Miguel Guerrero. He seems competent, capable, cool and collected, but I want, no demand, to see more. So I suppose, out of these four, give me Acar in the finals. Lets see how the Turkish brawler holds up against the Terror of Wales.*
Anton: He's very much looking forward to competing with Marcel Vogel. Lord knows why; the guy looks like he can barely hold a job, let alone his hands up. Acar is an old fuck trying to grab onto the last strands of glory. Pretty unimpressive and will likely be eliminated in 2 minutes; bet on it now. Nostrazo is exactly like a pizza cutter: all edge but no point in this contest. And as for Miguel Guerrero...well, there's a reason you guys want to build a wall, right? Whale Helmet would probably have his easiest final against Acar if the Turk doesn't fuck this up for himself, but for a worthwhile challenge, probably Vogel.
Jenna Bauer: Those are...some words. Well, we should wrap this interview up; any final words from either of you?
Anton: Make no mistake; Whale Helmet is not taking any one competitor for granted. All we have thrown at this point is words; words mean nothing without the action behind them. I know what you're thinking, Jenna, and what YOU are thinking, Action Wrestling universe. "He's dressed like a whale! What a fucking clown!" Well let me ask you this: Who is your current Cruiserweight Champion? That discount Power Ranger Kaz, right? There have been many masked men that have graced the Action Wrestling ring: Cereal Man, Super Spicy Jr, Dark Specter, Kaz, as mentioned before. He may be masked, but he's not a comedy act. He may be large, but he is by no means a lumbering oaf. And at the end of the night, you'll see Whale Helmet holding the cup high. Count on it.
Jenna Bauer: Strong words from the manager! And you, Whale Helmet?
Whale Helmet: *Even if my words are harsh, I can tell that everyone is here for the same goal; to have a good showing and walk away with the prize. Even if only one of us can win, I sincerely hope that we can leave the ring as equals in each others eyes. That being said, I know what people might expect of someone like me. A seven-foot thirty-two stone guy dressed like a whale in a suit? Completely ridiculous; can't fight for shit. Make no mistake; despite my size, I am the underdog here. I have the most to lose in this fight. If I lose, I'm a joke. If I win, I prove everyone wrong. I will walk away from this with the cup in hand, and knowing that you all were proven wrong. And I will do you proud, Wales.*
Jenna Bauer: ...Well its a good thing we have a translator! Anything in English?
Whale Helmet: ...Uhh...Whale...Helmet...Number...One. ATBAAAY!!!
Jenna Bauer: Well there you have it, folks! Whale Helmet and his manager Anton are ready to take the World Cup by storm! Thank you for joining us, and from the Action Wrestling Studios, this is Jenna Bauer, signing off!
Captain: *WE CAN'T RISK THE SHIP!*
Crewman: *WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM, SIR!*
Captain: *THAT IS AN ORDER! MAINTAIN YOUR POST!*
The captain turned back to the wheel, straining as hard as he could to level the ship out. The seven-foot crewman shoved the captain aside, taking the wheel and, after a minute of effort, was able to level out the ship. He turned to the captain, fury in his eyes.
Crewman: *I'M GOING AFTER HIM! DON'T FUCKING STOP ME!*
Captain: *NO, WAIT-*
He bolted out the door, grabbing a life jacket, some flares, and an inflatable raft. Another bolt of lightning flashed, showing the silhouette of the reckless crewman diving off the side of the Ocean Safari. It was a hard dive, with pain, followed by an instant chill, pulsing through his body. Tugging at the inflation tab, he quickly surfaced, climbing into the newly inflated raft. The crewman cracked as many flares as he could, tossing them into the ocean. I hope he finds them before these burn out, the crewman thought, as he kept the last flare for himself. In the distance, he could see the Ocean Safari begin to turn back around.
Crewman: *NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! GET OUT OF-*
He dropped the flare, mouth agape, as a massive wave formed in front of the Ocean Safari. All the crewman could do is watch as the ship was picked up by the wave...and quickly approached him too. He turned away from the wave, clutching at the raft and closing his eyes. Please God...let me live,
He felt the wave grab the raft.
The crewman fell into the ocean.
And this would prove to be the end of the good ship Ocean Safari.
...
...
The crewman refused to struggle, his body buffeted and battered beneath the waves.
...
His lungs were at the breaking point.
...
His vision began to fade...
...
...
...
And yet...fate had more in store for this crewman. The one that would eventually become...
Whale Helmet
Villains beware! A new hero has risen from the depths of the ocean! The Omega Orca, Whale Helmet!
No one knows who this mysterious man is nor where he comes from, but he has made a name for himself as a champion of truth, justice, and the Welsh way! From rescuing kittens from trees to stopping petty criminals, there is no job too small for the almighty Whale Helmet! Possessing the strength of an Orca and the speed of a Fin Whale, his greatest ability is using echolocation to find his prey and send them packing! And our hero's story continues here, at a branch of the Development Bank of Wales.
Episode 1: The World Cup
Masked Man 1: *EVERYONE KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN OR YOU WILL BE SHOT!*
Masked Man 2: *YOU HEARD HIM! ON THE FUCKING GROUND, NOW!*
Several armed men stormed into the bank, masks covering their faces. The armed men barked orders as many of the hostages cowered. The bank tellers were working diligently, albeit panicked, to stall while the police were coming.
Masked Man 1: *COME ON, WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG!*
Bank Manager: I-I-I-I'm sorry, sir, but-
Masked Man 1: *Fuck your apology! Just hurry the fuck up!*
Meanwhile, one of the other men was dealing with an older gentleman who refused to get to the ground. He was dressed in slacks, a sweater vest over a plain pink collared shirt, and his most distinguished feature was an eyepatch covering his right eye.
Masked Man 3: *GET ON THE GROUND NOW, YOU OLD FUCK!*
Old Man: Sorry? I don't speak Welsh.
Masked Man 3: Ooooh, funny guy, huh? GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND OR I'LL BL-
Old Man: Or you'll what? Shoot me? Do you think I really give a fuck? I drowned in more pussy last night than you ever will in your lifetime! Now back off, or-
In an instant, the commotion died as the front door chime went off. A tall man wearing a white suit, brown vest, and a whale mask entered into the bank. Our hero has finally arrived! He approaches the first teller, deposit slip and envelope in hand.
Whale Helmet: *Good afternoon, could you deposit this to my account, please?*
Teller: *...Are you serious right now?*
Whale Helmet: *Well yes. I'm not in any rush, so if there will be a delay, I can wait.*
Teller & Manager: ...
At their awkward silence, Whale Helmet looked around the bank, realizing it was in the process of being robbed. One of the masked men stepped up to him, a rifle pointed at his head. The one barking orders at the manager walked behind the counter, grabbing one of the large bags of pound notes. A third man seemed to be having trouble dealing with an older man near the entrance, as he stood there either as a man with nothing to lose, or a damn fool. Whale Helmet looked at the man pointing the gun at him.
Whale Helmet: *You don't want to do this. Put the gun down.*
Masked Man 2: *MAAAAN FUCK YOU! MAKE ME PUT IT DOWN!*
Whale Helmet: *Your words.*
After nodding to the bank workers and pointing at his ear, Whale Helmet began to take a deep breath, as the masked man took a step closer...
ATBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Whale Helmet bellowed at the top of his lungs, causing everyone to clutch at their ears. The rifles all clattered to the ground, the masked men visibly in pain. Quickly, Whale Helmet grabbed the shirt of the man in front of him, tossing him into the wall. The masked man slumped with his head in a plant and lay still, groaning in pain. The other masked man leapt over the counter, kicking Whale Helmet in the shoulder. Whale Helmet stumbled back, as the other masked man slid in front of him, arms raised to fight. The man tried kicking again, but Whale Helmet caught his leg. He pulled the masked man in and slammed him hard against the bank floor, knocking the wind out of the masked man. Whale Helmet slowly stood up, looking at the two men he knocked out, when he felt someone poke his back. Slowly turning to look, he saw the elderly man standing there, rubbing his right hand. Whale Helmet looked behind him, seeing the other assailant laid out in a chair. Nodding, he looked back to the old man.
Whale Helmet: *Not bad, old-timer.*
Old Man: Oh for fuck's sake, not you too. Do you know ANY lick of English?!
Whale Helmet stared, then slowly looked down. For as long as he could remember, Whale Helmet had a difficult time being able to speak English. While he could read and write just fine, his ability to speak the language was hindered, leaving his only fluent speaking language as Welsh.
Whale Helmet: ...Little. Speak...little.
Old Man: Well what you just did was damn impressive. What can I call you, lad?
Whale Helmet: Whale. Helmet.
Old Man: ...No shit, huh? Well, I've heard stranger. My name is Anton. I've been looking for you, actually; some friends of mine have told me about the things you have done for the city of Cardiff, after all. I wanted to give you an opportunity to take your message of truth and justice to a larger audience. There is a federation holding a contest for the World Cup, and I want to sponsor you as a competitor in it. What do you say, my boy?
Whale Helmet thought about the offer. He wanted to protect his home, but if he could also spread his message and inspire a new generation...
Whale Helmet: Atbay.
Anton: ...Is...that a yes? Or a no?
Whale Helmet: No. yes.
Anton: ...Close enough. Lets go; we have much to discuss...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenna Bauer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Action Wrestling World Cup is shaping up to be one of the premiere events to take place this December! Eight competitors from around the globe will compete to win the first ever Action Wrestling World Cup trophy! Tonight, live from the Action Wrestling Studio, we are sitting down with the largest, and maybe strangest, competitor to enter the contest: Whale Helmet! He is joined by his manager, Anton, and it is a pleasure to meet you both!
Anton: Thank you for that lovely introduction. We are gracious for the opportunity to showcase what my protégé, Whale Helmet, can really do.
Jenna Bauer: Fantastic! First, lets get a few words from Whale Helmet. How are you feeling about-
Anton: Oh, I'm sorry, I should mention that Whale Helmet has a hard time speaking English.
Jenna Bauer: Oh no! Well...did you want to say anything to your home country anyway?
Whale Helmet: Yes. Thank. You.
Jenna Bauer: Not a problem! Go right ahead!
Whale Helmet: *People of Wales, hello! It is I, your champion, your prize fighter, Whale Helmet! Champion of justice, from the mean streets of Cardiff to the quiet countryside of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. I am honored to be here representing the fine country of Wales, and I hope to do you all proud!
Jenna Bauer: So are you originally from Llan...Llanfairpw...
Whale Helmet: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
Jenna Bauer: Yes, that one!
Whale Helmet: *No, I only live there, but it is still a hometown to me. Plus, it is fun to say.*
Anton: Don't worry, I will translate. While he considers Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to be his hometown, he isn't originally from there. To tell the truth, he hasn't mentioned where he's really from, but I do know he is Welsh by birth.
Jenna Bauer: I see...well, lets move on to the competition. As I said before, the World Cup has eight competitors, all competing for the trophy and bragging rights for the entire year! In the first round, you're matched up against Kenyan Isara, a brutal wrestler who leaves destruction and broken bodies in his wake. We had a taste of what he can do at Clash 100, but I want to know what you think. How to you plan to take on The Samoan Striker?
Whale Helmet: *He's a talented wrestler, I will give you that. And reputation proceeds him. But that is all. I am not overly concerned about a wild man like Kenyan; where he has strength and barbarism, I have strength and focus. I don't just strike hard; I know where to strike hard. I'm not just brutal for the sake of brutality, I know when to be brutal and to take advantage of that. He might break bones, but I break expectations. I mean, look at me; I'm dressed like a fucking whale. Would YOU take me seriously? Of course not; I look like an after-school superhero cartoon. And that's how I know I can beat him; he, and my other competitors, are so focused on my appearance that they don't consider what the man behind the mask can do.*
Anton: He says he isn't worried about his first round match. A punk kid like Kenyan is a dime a dozen in Cardiff. He's focused, determined, and a careful fighter, nothing like that coconut kid-
Jenna Bauer: Could we not use-
Anton: Hey, its his words, not mine. Anyway, I have witnessed him fight crime while visiting friends in Cardiff. He stopped a bank robbery on his own. And why? Because they thought he was an easy target. A guy dressed like a superhero in a suit? Come on; even I would try to stuff the weirdo in a fuckin' locker. He used that hesitation to his advantage. Underestimate my fighter at your own peril, Action Wrestling.
Jenna Bauer: I certainly wouldn't! So, should you advance through the tournament, who would you most like to compete with between Fortune and Nio?
Whale Helmet: *Fortune is a mystery, but I think Nio gives me the best chance at a great fight. Don't get me wrong; I want an actual fight, and while Fortune seems imposing, he seems like nothing more than a trickster. He's more sleight of hand than "get these hands!" Nio, on the other hand, is a fighter through and through, and definitely a worthy challenge for me. He seems technically gifted and understands what it will take to win. It would be great to squash.*
Anton: Look, I'm not going to completely discredit his two opponents, but they really aren't worth his time. I mean come on; a magician and some hoser? His sights are firmly on the cup.
Whale Helmet: ...
Jenna Bauer: O...kay...so Whale Helmet, who would you most like to meet in the finals, should you get there?
Whale Helmet: *Lets work from the bottom of the list and work up. Marcel Vogel? You mean Diet Tyson? No thanks; he's the skidmark on the underpants of this tournament. He'll blow up about as well as the one in Florence, Oregon: opened up wide and his insides all over the ring. Acar could be fun to fight; a love of pit fighting means his style would be the most varied. I only hope his age doesn't hinder his progress. Nostrazo is another mystery guy like Fortune that I really can't take seriously. I mean, "The Forgotten Beast?" That means people know you, you bum! Lets forget him and end with Miguel Guerrero. He seems competent, capable, cool and collected, but I want, no demand, to see more. So I suppose, out of these four, give me Acar in the finals. Lets see how the Turkish brawler holds up against the Terror of Wales.*
Anton: He's very much looking forward to competing with Marcel Vogel. Lord knows why; the guy looks like he can barely hold a job, let alone his hands up. Acar is an old fuck trying to grab onto the last strands of glory. Pretty unimpressive and will likely be eliminated in 2 minutes; bet on it now. Nostrazo is exactly like a pizza cutter: all edge but no point in this contest. And as for Miguel Guerrero...well, there's a reason you guys want to build a wall, right? Whale Helmet would probably have his easiest final against Acar if the Turk doesn't fuck this up for himself, but for a worthwhile challenge, probably Vogel.
Jenna Bauer: Those are...some words. Well, we should wrap this interview up; any final words from either of you?
Anton: Make no mistake; Whale Helmet is not taking any one competitor for granted. All we have thrown at this point is words; words mean nothing without the action behind them. I know what you're thinking, Jenna, and what YOU are thinking, Action Wrestling universe. "He's dressed like a whale! What a fucking clown!" Well let me ask you this: Who is your current Cruiserweight Champion? That discount Power Ranger Kaz, right? There have been many masked men that have graced the Action Wrestling ring: Cereal Man, Super Spicy Jr, Dark Specter, Kaz, as mentioned before. He may be masked, but he's not a comedy act. He may be large, but he is by no means a lumbering oaf. And at the end of the night, you'll see Whale Helmet holding the cup high. Count on it.
Jenna Bauer: Strong words from the manager! And you, Whale Helmet?
Whale Helmet: *Even if my words are harsh, I can tell that everyone is here for the same goal; to have a good showing and walk away with the prize. Even if only one of us can win, I sincerely hope that we can leave the ring as equals in each others eyes. That being said, I know what people might expect of someone like me. A seven-foot thirty-two stone guy dressed like a whale in a suit? Completely ridiculous; can't fight for shit. Make no mistake; despite my size, I am the underdog here. I have the most to lose in this fight. If I lose, I'm a joke. If I win, I prove everyone wrong. I will walk away from this with the cup in hand, and knowing that you all were proven wrong. And I will do you proud, Wales.*
Jenna Bauer: ...Well its a good thing we have a translator! Anything in English?
Whale Helmet: ...Uhh...Whale...Helmet...Number...One. ATBAAAY!!!
Jenna Bauer: Well there you have it, folks! Whale Helmet and his manager Anton are ready to take the World Cup by storm! Thank you for joining us, and from the Action Wrestling Studios, this is Jenna Bauer, signing off!