Meanwhile, in the Florida Swamps...(Part 2)
Nov 24, 2020 22:28:38 GMT -5
“The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley, Sierra Silver, and 3 more like this
Post by Teo Blaze on Nov 24, 2020 22:28:38 GMT -5
Meanwhile, in a nearby swamp, nothing particularly interesting is happening.
CRASH!!
“Bring it on you Suitcase in training! I’ll rip out those teeth and make a necklace!”
Whoops! My mistake. What I meant to say is that Teo Blaze is wrestling a goddamned alligator!
“Is that all you got? I thought your kind were supposed to be fierce!”
Teo currently finds himself amongst a throng of cheering Florida natives, all of whom are chanting his name as he holds the leathery beast in a side headlock!
Teo punctuates his exposition with a hard left to the jugular. The alligator is stunned as he climbs on its back, reaching into his pocket and removing a length of rope. With a deft motion, he wraps it around the alligator’s snout, and holds up his hands in victory as the crowd cheers.
Suddenly, and without warning, a black microphone Plummets from the sky into Teo’s open hand, thrown no doubt from the Universal Studio’s attraction.
With a flourish, Teo holds the microphone to his lips dramatically, as his voice shifts in tone.
But look at how easy that facade cracks once someone shuts its goddamned mouth.
I think that everyone knows that your mouths truly are the only thing that sets you apart in that locker room. Put a microphone in your hands and suddenly you’re the greatest thing walking! But like this poor little alligator here, once someone stops you from opening up those lipstick covered foghorns? You crack. You crumble. You break.
It’s shameless! But it’s all about that image, isn’t it? If people believe that Red, White, and Bruised are a pair of predators, crouched and ready to pounce on unsuspecting prey? Karlie, you were in All-Effing-In for chrissakes! What should have been a springboard into greater things was squandered on a bellyflop into the deep end! And now you are just like this reptile. Beating up on locals and praying that nobody comes along and exposes the act.”
Teo suddenly flinches, and slaps his free hand against his neck, wincing in surprise.
Think about it. Sierra Silver? A mosquito? It doesn’t think about how small it is. It doesn’t take into account its own fragility. It just buzzes about, irritating everyone who can hear it. And then, it goes one step too far. It sticks its nose where it shouldn’t, and… SMACK!
And that’s the end of our mosquito.
Sierra? McCoy? I can’t fault their enthusiasm. I daresay I’d enjoy their company under the right circumstances. But then, I don’t hate the mosquito either. It’s not a question of animosity, is it? It’s simply the way it goes when someone like you gets big ideas in their heads.
You want me to recognize you picking a fight with Walter? Sorry, I don’t give props for surviving the consequences of your own stupidity.
I’d say that you’re going to get a wake up call, but frankly if that didn’t do it? At this point I’m just swatting you and little dick because I’m tired of hearing the buzzing.
Don’t take it personally. It’s a gent thing.”
With that, Teo takes the microphone and tosses it over his shoulder, reaching into his pocket to dial his compatriot. Maybe Andre was having more luck with his tourist attraction...