...When Your Whole World is Black
Nov 20, 2020 18:14:22 GMT -5
Addy A, Howard Black, and 1 more like this
Post by Stuart Slane on Nov 20, 2020 18:14:22 GMT -5
“.....When Your Whole World is Black”
Where: Nascar Arena, North Carolina
When: The November 16th Monday Night Clash
It took a while, but security was finally able to hustle all three participants in the Friends of Stuart Slane Committee sponsored debate out of the ring and up the ramp. Slane himself proved the most difficult to corral; no surprise given his recent agitated demeanor. He struggled in the grip of the scrum of men keeping him away from the two he would face for the US Title, shouting at both as they were ushered from Gorilla.
“Kidsgrove you bloviating bunko artist! I see through your act! You’re done at Turmoil! Done! You too, Howard! You dare get to the Finals and I’ll make you regret it! Do not look past me, runt!”
“Stuart! Stuart!” a breathless Circe Cicero hopped up and down behind the team holding her client in an attempt to get his attention, “Relax! It’s over!”
She addressed the security guards, “Release Mister Slane this instant you fascists! For merely exercising his right to free speech he has been given the bum’s rush and if your overreaction continues I will have no choice but to lodge a formal complaint!”
“Talk to him, lady!” one minion shot back as he tried to keep Stuart pinned to the wall, “He’s the one who won’t calm the fuck down!”
“Stuart,” she wriggled her way through the mass of humanity holding Stu to tug on his shirtsleeve, “Let’s go. We can watch Howard lose from the back.”
Slane’s attention finally focussed on Circe. He stopped fighting against those restraining him, “They can’t keep doing this to me,” he hissed.
“They won’t. Ten days, Stuart. That’s all they have left. Let them have their fun for now. We both know how this ends.”
She reached up to straighten his tie. Slane relaxed. The guards let go and stepped back, allowing the duo to depart, though a detachment of staff was sent to escort them to the locker room in case the big man’s ire flared up again.
*********
Stuart watched the remainder of Clash in growing agitation. He sneered as the man who dispatched him from the Turmoil Tournament in the first round, the “RevolutiDaddy”, took one more step towards becoming Wrestler of the Year by defeating WALTER. Some might have found solace in the fact that he was beaten by a foe capable of making it to the finals of the tournament, but he did not. There were no moral victories in wrestling; only failures, and once again he had failed.
As galling as the outcome was, the result of the main event was worse.
Howard Black did it. He toppled the King. He’d headline Turmoil against Wesley, where he’d likely win, become Wrestler of the Year, and Number One Contender for the World Title.
Two months ago Stuart would have sought Howard out and shaken his hand. One month ago he would have taken to social media to offer him congratulations.
Now, all Stuart wanted to do was snap his spine, because he knew what Howard’s triumph meant for him.
He was irrelevant.
A superfluous side story in Howard Black’s ascent. In May he had requested a match with ‘The Lost Boy’, and the one he finally was forced to accept did not carry the singles stipulation. Sam Kidsgrove was added despite Stuart’s protests that he did not deserve it, that he was irrelevant, that he was superfluous.
The irony was not lost on Stuart.
Because now, when he did win, and took the belt Howard thought he was too good for; who beside him and His People would care?
There would always be the talk that Howard only lost to Slane because his focus and energy was on beating a better wrestler for bigger stakes. It’s what they said about Corey Black’s loss of the Tag Titles after Clash 100, and they’d say it about Howard too.
“At Turmoil, Howard Black left the ‘Consolation Division’ to become a permanent fixture at the top of the card.”
That would be the narrative; and Stuart knew it would be the truth.
“Circe, please see if you can find a cameraman,” he asked the woman who watched him pensively from a sled backed chair in the corner of the room, “It’s time to speak with Howard..”
************
“You’re better at this than me, Howard Black.”
“That doesn’t mean I won’t beat you at Turmoil. I will, taking from you that title both of us hold in contempt. However, as Professional Wrestling’s Last Honest Man I must concede the point. Your technical skill, your ring awareness, your understanding of your opponents: by all these metrics you’re my superior. I’m willing to bet pound for pound you’re stronger than me too.”
“If only we could procure a stool sturdy enough for you to stand on for the classic Test of Strength spot; then we’d know for sure.”
“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. That will be my only attempt of finding humor at your height’s expense. It is quite literally beneath me to bring up your shortcomings.”
“Ok, that was the last time.”
“Tragic how we let those lit- er, inconsequential things about ourselves affect us. You’re a world class athlete with a brilliant mind, one of best ever to step between the ropes, but on some level you haven’t gotten over those pointed playground japes. Childhood trauma is pernicious in how it molds the men and women we become. I know that better than most; as I’m responsible for more than my fair share of it.”
“Again, apologies for the self-deprecation. It’s pointless navel-gazing, and you’re far too dangerous for that, Howard. I need to keep my focus squarely on you if I’m to win at Turmoil. You’re the one I need to Knot Up for any of this to mean anything. Kidsgrove is a talent, and a threat, and I will not overlook him, but it’s you I must humble, and not just because you are the current champion.”
“I need for you to regret trying to inspire me.”
“That’s what this was about, correct? Those kind words in your Manifesto, which, no lie, made me feel as proud as any accomplishment I’ve had here in Action, were punctuated by an observation meant to strike at my sense of self-respect. One that must be broken down and analyzed in detail so I can make clear how much you misunderstand me:”
After Havoc it was to be seen what Jay Omega, Jason O’Neal, Stuart Slane, and Howard Black would do.
“A minor digression, but I find it bittersweet that of all the WCF alumni who debuted at Havoc this year, including Cormack whom you left off your list, we are the two that remain as active competitors. I realize it is not in line with the prevalent thinking, but I have nothing but fond memories of my time there; and it appealed to my sentimentality to see others in Action representing the lime green and black.”
You can learn a lot about who someone is and is going to be by their first move….. I announced my retirement-
“This was the right thing to do, Howard. Forthright and honest. Even as I seethe over having to wait so long to finally face you, and as the weeks turned to months and your inevitable departure loomed and my anxiety grew, I could never fault you for the reason behind my urgency. I know it was used against you by your opponents. They would chide you for a perceived lack of commitment, for being a transitory figure among a roster of hungry men and women eager to earn and hold a spot at the top of the card, and it likely did cost you some opportunities- it’s not such a long way down when you handicap yourself a few furlongs- but it showed real strength to let everyone know that your time among us had a set expiration date.”
- you sought to find a tag partner. There, Slane, was your tell. I’d like you to think to yourself whether or not Jonny Fly would’ve signed up for the Tag Division upon a grand return.
“Technically true, though I am disappointed you won’t acknowledge what my second move was, since it plays such an important role in where we are now, and, to me, refutes the point you are trying to make.”
“My second move was to state my willingness to fight you, Howard: a man whose abilities I respect as much as anyone’s.”
“Of course, I should have been savvy enough to realize who that open challenge was meant for: your own New York based Mobbed Up bete noire- your Jonny F-Fl-Fly. And, full credit to you, you beat him, Howard. You beat the best wrestler I have ever seen in Joseph Malignaggi.”
“And still I want to fight you, and still you doubt my resolve to prove myself.”
“To answer your question: no Jonny would not have not attempted to sign up for the Tag Division. He’d feel it was beneath him. But I never will be Jonny, and not just for the reasons you think.”
We both know the answer, and we both know the why.
“And here is where you are wrong.”
“Your implication is that I went to the tag division because I thought it would be easier for me. I thought you were calling me a coward, but by your own words you claim I made the move out of laziness. Either way, you were attacking my motivation and my lack of faith in myself. It’s a judgment you have made against others: Elizabeth, that tempestuous hoyden Adelaide, even your friend Spencer Adams. Your bias against tag team wrestling is very clear, and I reject your prejudices against it.”
“Howard, you have no idea how hard it was for me to try and find a partner. Not only the search itself, though that was obviously a fruitless effort; but making the initial commitment.”
“Look at my time in WCF. I was never in an official tag team; never a member of a stable. Now some of that is because of my nature; I am a bit of a pedant, and perhaps not the ideal candidate with whom to share a corner; but the main reason was always my fear I would let others down. It’s hard enough on the psyche to not be good enough on your own; but to fail in another’s name that just adds to the hurt.”
“So, for the longest time, I avoided it. And when I could not avoid it, I ran from it.”
“Until Action.”
“You should know all this, Howard; you’re too smart, too thorough, not too. And yet you still find fault with me. This sport is about challenging oneself, and for me there was no bigger risk than seeking success in a division that I in the past dishonored. The fact you can’t see that does not make me question your intelligence, but your values. It makes me question whether or not you wrestle for the right reasons, and I never thought I’d say that.”
“It makes me wonder if your losses to the Adlers and to the Following really bothered you, or if you just shrugged them off as a consequence of taking the risk of relying on someone else to fight in your name. Do you blame Torture or Kaz or, God forbid, Crow McMorris for those Ls on your record? I hope not, because that is not the nature of the business, and if you do feel that way I would lose even more respect for you.”
“I did not want to be a part of the Tag Division to have a built in excuse for my failures, Howard. I would have welcomed the challenge to face the likes of the Swallowing, of Kill or Cure, of Kemp and whichever talent he managed to hoodwink into following him, because that’s what I needed to do to remove the main mark on my legacy. You can look down on me all you like for this, Howard, but the truth is I’d still be much happier ‘slumming’ it as part of AberSlane than fighting for the US Title.”
“That said, I am looking forward to this, Howard. I need to give you a bit of a reality check; you and Kidsgrove both. You wanted me motivated? Well, you got it. This is one of those ‘monkey’s paw’ scenarios, though Howard, because now I want more than that title and the chance to knock the stuffing out of that interloping, glad-handing, false-dealing glitteratus. I want to rain on Action Wrestling’s collective cake by making it’s next Wrestler of the Year tap out.”
“And I will do it, Howard.”
“How? You have the skill Howard, and Sam has the pedigree, but I know I can take you both. I have the one thing you wish for and Kidsgrove provokes whenever he opens his smug, smarmy piehole: my righteous rage.”
“For six months, I’ve endured embarrassment. For six months, I’ve endured disappointment. For six months, I’ve endured failure. My anger is real and earned. Howard you claim you’ve been disrespected. By who? Who here in Action Wrestling hasn’t thought since you made your surprise reveal at Havoc that you would not grab this place by the throat and throttle it? I understand the need to motivate oneself by creating perceived slights, but Howard, when you call yourself disrespected you’re as delusional as I was when I invented the Gang of Fourteen and claimed they were conspiring against me when I was US Champion in WCF. You have never been slighted, Howard. Never. You got to pick your opponent at Evolution. When you needed a tag partner to fight Olive and Cassidy Adler, the owner of the company got his working boots out of storage. You were placed in a match for the World Heavyweight Title after losing a match. Ash Blake called Divito a poverty tourist before Clash 100; and the same term applies to you. You can’t be the underdog when you’re Best in Show, Howard. You know it, I know it, everyone in Action knows it. So cut the s-shit and own your reputation.”
“You whined about not being given more respect for choking out WALTER at Uprising. You wanted credit for almost beating him. Almost. Beating, Him. By God, Howard, what did Flash say when he heard that line leave your mouth? I’ll tell you what I said: ‘When did Howard become Graham Baker? When did he start looking for credit for coming close?’ And what made you crack, Howard? What made you start to feel sorry for yourself and start demanding credit where it was not deserved? A three match losing streak where you ate the pin once.”
“Try living in my size fifteens, Howard, and no, that is not another short joke. It’s reality. You couldn’t cut it. You’d be back in Nebraska brining the turkey for Thanksgiving. I’m bitter, but it is at the company’s indifference. I never once attempted to acknowledge my losses as anything but what they were. Not once. There are no moral victories in wrestling. You know this, too, but in your desperation, you chose to ignore this basic truth. I shudder to think how you’d have reacted if I was able to get past you in that Battle Royal, Howard. What step would have taken next to right your listing career? Signed on with Philidor? Joined Kyle Kemp’s cult? Maybe even given Vincent Buddy Roman a call? Why not? Kaz and Crow are already your ‘brothers’, it would only make sense for you to call the same man ‘Daddy’.”
“It enrages me to hear you lament how you’ve been treated. Not by Kidsgrove, though: f-fuck that muckraker. We’re on the same wavelength with him. At Turmoil, I’ll gladly set aside my differences long enough to make him what he should be in this match; a non-factor. Any other time, I’d welcome the chance to cripple him. So obvious in his machinations. He knew he had gotten under your skin before Clash 100. That’s why he came out to interrupt your celebration. He knew poking the bear like that would earn him a rematch. And you gave it to him, though I highly doubt you fell for his line. You’re not like the fans who support his career as an actor, or the voters who put him into Parliament. They’re either stupid or happy to be deceived.”
“We see through his act, us and the rest of the locker room. Forget his trolling at the debate: watch the outtakes of him and his teammates Corey Bull and Downfall prior to Trios. Arrogant little pisher: ordering them about, giving direction to men who know the game as well as he does. No wonder Fiehl turned on him. Sam Kidsgrove’s sense of noblesse oblige offends me. He uses his munificence as a bludgeon against those among us who do not have his charmed life. He’s a first class phoney and a spewer of balloon juice, and everyone knows it with the possible exception of his mirrored-self Teo Blaze, and I think it’s safe to say he’s not the best judge at recognizing his fellow wrestlers for who they really are.”
“So at the very least we still have that in common, Howard. We both want to hurt Sam Kidsgrove. Keeping that self-righteous snake from becoming a four-time United States Champion will be the one triumph we can share at Turmoil.”
“That will be the extent of our comity that night, though. It has to be. Six months since you’d said we’d fight. Seven weeks since you called me out in the kindest way possible. Ten days until I prove myself worth all this trouble, and rip that title from your grasp.”
“I will not disappoint.”
“Scout’s Honor.”