Post by J.C. Keeton on Nov 15, 2020 22:31:59 GMT -5
The scene opens to the smiling face of this guy.
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My name is Doctor Victor Vonblöd, I am one of the leading Speech Language Pathologists in the world. I have been hired by Jonathan Keeton to provide my expert analysis of the speech patterns of a young lady named Azurine Vebbins.”
Vonblöd glances down at the computer on the desk in front of him and clicks the mouse button, He begins to nod his head and has a very odd look on his face as he watches the video on the screen of an Azurine promo.
“It would appear there are no signs of dysarthria, the muscles used to form the words seem strong and intact. This would also indicate that apraxia is not the issue we’re dealing with. There may be some mild aphasia due to her line of work but I see no evidence that traumatic brain injury is the cause of Ms. Vebbins bizarre speech.”
He continues listening until he looks like he’s discovered something.
“I believe that our subject may have a tongue thrust problem. This occurs when the tongue protrudes between the upper and lower teeth when forming certain letter. With 8 weekly therapy sessions while doing oral physiotherapy for 60 days as well as specially designated speech drills to correct each sound I may be able to help this young lady. The good news is that by successful correction of one sound we may correct another.”
Suddenly the voice of JC Keeton rings out from off camera.
“What are you doing Doc?”
The doctor looks puzzled. The camera pans back and the whole office is now revealed with JC sitting across from the doctor.
“What do you mean Jonathan?”
“I ain’t trying to help this chick, I’m trying to embarrass her, I mean she does a pretty damn good job of that every time she opens her mouth or steps in a wrestling ring. It seems like no matter how much she’s made fun of or loses she’s always fucking perky and upbeat and it’s annoying as shit.”
“I thought you said you were a friend who was trying to help this poor girl?”
JC chuckles.
“Nah bro, I’m gonna kick her ass just like most everyone else she faces does.”
“You just wanted me to help you make fun of this woman for having a speech disorder as some sort of mind game to get in her head before you face her in a wrestling match?”
“Pretty much.”
“You’re a horrible person.”
“Yeah well good luck cashing that check you fucking quack and if you think that's horrible you must not have seen me throw a dude off a bridge on Friday.”
The doctor stands up shouting.
“Get out of my office you...you…”
“At a loss for words Doc? I thought that was your specialty. I’m leaving, you ain’t gotta get all tongue tied and start talking like Azzy yourself.”
JC stands up and leaves the office as the doctor stands there fuming mad. As JC steps out the door of the office he looks around but doesn’t see what he’s looking for.
“My ride ain’t here so I’ll address ol marble mouth directly real quick. Azurine you may not remember it but our paths first crossed back in 2018, we had a lil twitter beef while we were both signed to the short lived Union Reborn. I’ll be honest back then I thought for sure you’d have been laughed out of the business by now but here you are still stuttering and stammering your way through promos and matches all over the world every week. Good for you. There’s always a spot for the people like you who’s sole purpose it is to lose to the real stars. That star you’re facing this week is me and ain’t nobody shining this bright right now. You’re the appetizer before the main course that is Kaz Mazy and that Cruiserweight strap and on Thanksgiving I’m feasting.”
A rumbling sound is heard in the distance.
“Ride’s here.”
Just then a white van pulls up and JC hops in as the scene fades.
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My name is Doctor Victor Vonblöd, I am one of the leading Speech Language Pathologists in the world. I have been hired by Jonathan Keeton to provide my expert analysis of the speech patterns of a young lady named Azurine Vebbins.”
Vonblöd glances down at the computer on the desk in front of him and clicks the mouse button, He begins to nod his head and has a very odd look on his face as he watches the video on the screen of an Azurine promo.
“It would appear there are no signs of dysarthria, the muscles used to form the words seem strong and intact. This would also indicate that apraxia is not the issue we’re dealing with. There may be some mild aphasia due to her line of work but I see no evidence that traumatic brain injury is the cause of Ms. Vebbins bizarre speech.”
He continues listening until he looks like he’s discovered something.
“I believe that our subject may have a tongue thrust problem. This occurs when the tongue protrudes between the upper and lower teeth when forming certain letter. With 8 weekly therapy sessions while doing oral physiotherapy for 60 days as well as specially designated speech drills to correct each sound I may be able to help this young lady. The good news is that by successful correction of one sound we may correct another.”
Suddenly the voice of JC Keeton rings out from off camera.
“What are you doing Doc?”
The doctor looks puzzled. The camera pans back and the whole office is now revealed with JC sitting across from the doctor.
“What do you mean Jonathan?”
“I ain’t trying to help this chick, I’m trying to embarrass her, I mean she does a pretty damn good job of that every time she opens her mouth or steps in a wrestling ring. It seems like no matter how much she’s made fun of or loses she’s always fucking perky and upbeat and it’s annoying as shit.”
“I thought you said you were a friend who was trying to help this poor girl?”
JC chuckles.
“Nah bro, I’m gonna kick her ass just like most everyone else she faces does.”
“You just wanted me to help you make fun of this woman for having a speech disorder as some sort of mind game to get in her head before you face her in a wrestling match?”
“Pretty much.”
“You’re a horrible person.”
“Yeah well good luck cashing that check you fucking quack and if you think that's horrible you must not have seen me throw a dude off a bridge on Friday.”
The doctor stands up shouting.
“Get out of my office you...you…”
“At a loss for words Doc? I thought that was your specialty. I’m leaving, you ain’t gotta get all tongue tied and start talking like Azzy yourself.”
JC stands up and leaves the office as the doctor stands there fuming mad. As JC steps out the door of the office he looks around but doesn’t see what he’s looking for.
“My ride ain’t here so I’ll address ol marble mouth directly real quick. Azurine you may not remember it but our paths first crossed back in 2018, we had a lil twitter beef while we were both signed to the short lived Union Reborn. I’ll be honest back then I thought for sure you’d have been laughed out of the business by now but here you are still stuttering and stammering your way through promos and matches all over the world every week. Good for you. There’s always a spot for the people like you who’s sole purpose it is to lose to the real stars. That star you’re facing this week is me and ain’t nobody shining this bright right now. You’re the appetizer before the main course that is Kaz Mazy and that Cruiserweight strap and on Thanksgiving I’m feasting.”
A rumbling sound is heard in the distance.
“Ride’s here.”
Just then a white van pulls up and JC hops in as the scene fades.