The Swallowing Presents: THE SWAPPENING | We Ain't Playin'
Oct 18, 2020 22:44:29 GMT -5
Psycho Vulcan Sentai (Kaz), Addy A, and 4 more like this
Post by The Swallowing on Oct 18, 2020 22:44:29 GMT -5
Narrator | This is the salacious story of three leading ladies -- aka The Swallowing, aka the Gropes of Wrath, aka the Ma’am Made Goddesses -- in Action Wrestling who have joined forces for the annual TRIOS tournament. Boarding a flight from Las Vegas, Nevada to Cabo San Lucas, Baja California, Mexico, watch them in their natural habitat as they prepare for the upcoming showdown with new United States Champion Howard Black, a former Tag Team Champion Crow McMorris, and the current Cruiserweight Champion Kaz Mazy.
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Adelaide | Ay, stewardess! Bring tha bottle this way.
Sara | I think the preferred nomenclature is ‘flight attendant’. And I don’t think they have actual bottles on these things, do they?
Lissie | Yeah… when she gets on one, I don’t think she cares.
Sara nods and observes, noticing a bit of tension from the former tag team champions as Lissie rests her head on the seat and pulls her sunglasses over her eyes. The flight attendant approaches with two miniature shot bottles of alcohol in her hand.
Adelaide | Wha' I wanna real bottle bitch. Don'cha ya know I gotta wash down me Percs.
Sara | Do you think that's, uhh, safe?
Adelaide | Ain't lookin' fa safe.
Sara | I'm just saying that---
Adelaide | Ya not me fuckin' mom!
She washes down her Percs and the flight attendant turns to another passenger, as Addy swipes a few more bottles from the cart.
Sara | Seriously?
Adelaide | Ay! What happened ta fuckin' like pornstars?!
Sara | That was for the camera. I'm not looking to… do… that…
Adelaide | We goin' ta Mexico, bitch! Spring brrrrrrrreak!!!!
Lissie | Would you two keep it down? I'm trying to not get noticed over here
Adelaide | Ooohhh! Sorrrrrry, Ms. Two-Time World Champ! Didn't know tha fuckin' paparazzi was on tha plane!
Lissie | Excuse me?!
She removes the sunglasses and sits up quickly. Addy just grins at her. Sara sits up and places a hand on each of their arms.
Sara | Ladies, ladies. Please. I know things are… weird… right now. A nice vacation before the tournament will help loosen us up and bring you two back to the same page.
Adelaide | Ay! We got a lady Dr. Phil on board! HAH!
Lissie | Aw relax. She's only trying to help.
Adelaide | She wouldn't even be here if we'd picked our first choice!
There is an awkward silence as Lissie shoots a death stare.
Sara | I wasn't… your… first choice?
Lissie | Well… actually…
Adelaide | Fuck nah. We was gonna ask Karlie to join us on this trip but then… eeehhh…
Sara | But then what…
Lissie | Addy… no…
Sara | What is it? I can take it. However big it is.
Adelaide | That's what she said! HAH!
Sara | Come on…
Adelaide | We jus' thought with ya old man croakin' that ya needed a little push in Action Wrestlin'.
Sara | Well, sure. I appreciate that but---
Adelaide | Plus ya been a fuckin' takin’ nut on tha chin since ya came here an’---
Lissie | Addy!
Sara | No. It's okay. It's been hard to focus on myself, both in and out of the ring. I haven't quite found my footing anywhere since… you know. It seems like I'm just treading water.
Lissie | We all have. It happens. That's the business, Sara.
Adelaide | Don't ya tell her 'bout the fuckin' business! She was a World Champ when you's in grade six!
Lissie | Wow! Seriously?!
Sara | Well… yeah… but…
Lissie | Christ!
Sara | I was eighteen when I broke into the business. It's not like I'm old or anything.
Adelaide | Ya don't look a day over perfection, babe. I'd do ya!
Lissie | That's not saying much...
Unknown | Ladies, ladies, please keep it down. Why is there so much hostility?
The piercing eyes of a man with sharp cheekbones and a glistening tan met theirs from across the aisle. He smiled when he saw Lissie bite the bottom of her lip, but she quickly shook the instant attraction and pulled her shades back over her eyes.
Adelaide | Who tha fuck is askin?
Unknown | May I?
The man points to the open aisle seat. Sara grins and nods her head approvingly, Addy rolls her eyes, and Lissie pretends like she isn’t listening.
Unknown | There can’t actually be a legitimate reason three beautiful women like yourselves should be fighting. Indulge me.
Adelaide | Easy ta explain really. We can’t decide which’a us gonna take ya inta tha toilet an’ break ya dick in tha fuck-sink.
Unknown | That’s an interesting pickup line… Addy.
Sara | Well, she’s got a boyfriend, and I’m the widow here. It should be me, obviously.
Unknown | You’re not the only one who’s suffered loss… Sara.
The girls don’t even notice the man’s strange knowledge. But Lissie’s ears perk up and she removes her glasses.
Lissie | Who are you?
Unknown | I’m Eduardo.
The man reaches into his back pocket...
Narrator | The girls have found themselves in a precarious circumstance. Who is Eduardo, and how does he know so much about the Swallowing? Choose your own adventure.
__________
Option 1 | Page 25/8
An undercover Mexican drug enforcement agent.
Option 2 | Page 69
A high-ranking member of the Sinaloa Cartel.
Option 3 | Page 1111
An independent worker on the Lucha circuit who wrestles under the name “El Cocoa Loco”.
__________
Narrator | The girls have found themselves in a precarious circumstance. Who is Eduardo, and how does he know so much about the Swallowing? Choose your own adventure.
__________
Option 1 | Page 25/8
An undercover Mexican drug enforcement agent.
Option 2 | Page 69
A high-ranking member of the Sinaloa Cartel.
Option 3 | Page 1111
An independent worker on the Lucha circuit who wrestles under the name “El Cocoa Loco”.
__________
| 25/8
Sara | "It's all a misunderstanding! I swear!"
Sara and Addy are sitting back-to-back in the dirt as fellow passengers stare out the windows of the plane. Their hands are zip tied behind their bags. The more Sara struggles, the more they tear at the skin on her wrists.
Agent | "Ustedes dos coinciden con la descripción de dos fugitivos buscados de América."
Addy | "I look like I'm a fuckin' American?!"
Sara | "You understand them? Oh! Thank God!"
Addy | "Nah. Not a word of it."
Sara | "Where's Lissie? She can clear this up."
Addy nods toward the plane. Sara looks up to see Lissie recording on her phone. She gives them a thumbs up.
Sara | "Come on! Really?!"
Addy | "This ya first time arrested, huh? Nice time to pop ya cherry!"
The lead officer circles them.
Agent | "¿Donde estan las drogas?"
Sara | "What?"
Agent | "¡¿Donde estan las drogas?!"
Addy | "Ay! Drogas! Mooey bean drogas!"
Sara | "You're not helping. Please, sir. We've done nothing wrong!"
Agent | "¿Dónde está Rachel?"
Addy | "Oh that bitch? We threw her from tha plane!"
Two lesser ranked officers drag Addy to her feet. They begin to rapidly shout at her in their native tongue.
Addy | "Okay. Please stop. I have somethin' ta say…"
She gives Sara a wink.
Sara | "Don't do it, Addy. Please!"
Addy | "FUCK TWELVE!"
The lead officer bitch slaps Addy across the face. She tastes a hint of blood on her lip.
Addy | "Tastes good."
Sara and Addy are sitting back-to-back in the dirt as fellow passengers stare out the windows of the plane. Their hands are zip tied behind their bags. The more Sara struggles, the more they tear at the skin on her wrists.
Agent | "Ustedes dos coinciden con la descripción de dos fugitivos buscados de América."
Addy | "I look like I'm a fuckin' American?!"
Sara | "You understand them? Oh! Thank God!"
Addy | "Nah. Not a word of it."
Sara | "Where's Lissie? She can clear this up."
Addy nods toward the plane. Sara looks up to see Lissie recording on her phone. She gives them a thumbs up.
Sara | "Come on! Really?!"
Addy | "This ya first time arrested, huh? Nice time to pop ya cherry!"
The lead officer circles them.
Agent | "¿Donde estan las drogas?"
Sara | "What?"
Agent | "¡¿Donde estan las drogas?!"
Addy | "Ay! Drogas! Mooey bean drogas!"
Sara | "You're not helping. Please, sir. We've done nothing wrong!"
Agent | "¿Dónde está Rachel?"
Addy | "Oh that bitch? We threw her from tha plane!"
Two lesser ranked officers drag Addy to her feet. They begin to rapidly shout at her in their native tongue.
Addy | "Okay. Please stop. I have somethin' ta say…"
She gives Sara a wink.
Sara | "Don't do it, Addy. Please!"
Addy | "FUCK TWELVE!"
The lead officer bitch slaps Addy across the face. She tastes a hint of blood on her lip.
Addy | "Tastes good."
| 69
Agent | “And you’re coming with me.”
Eduardo pulls a pistol from behind his back.
Agent | “You’re coming with us Addy!”
Addy | “I look like a fuckin’ pilot ta ya?”
Eduardo and two other unknown men grab Addy by the arms.
Sara | “Hey!”
Sara yells.
Eduardo pistol whips Sara back down into her seat. Lissie stands up and is met by the muzzle of the gun right between her eyes, she calmly sits back down, her hands in the air, in a position of submission. Addy struggles against her captors.
Addy | “C’arn boys. I like it rough. Let’s do it.”
Agent | “Shut it, Adelaide.”
Addy | “Yeh big boy talk dirty to me.”
Agent | “Always with the big mouth. Doesn’t surprise me you’re a big rat.”
Addy | “Fuck like a rat. Drop ya pants an’ find out.”
Eduardo finally has enough of Adelaide smart alec ranting and slaps her across the face. It doesn’t stop her.
Addy | “Kinky. Fuck yeh.”
Lissie | “Addy you need to stop.”
Addy | “S’all good Lissie babe. Look after Sare-bear. I got this limp dicked fuckers right where I want ‘em”
Eduardo snaps and shove the guns in Addy’s mouth.
Agent | “You need to shut up. You cost us business with your antics in Las Vegas and you are now going to pay.”
Eduardo removes the gun.
Agent | “Or go the way as Robbie.”
Lissie | “WHAT?!”
Addy | “What ya want?”
Agent | “Our product back into Las Vegas and you’ll take it.”
Addy | “Sounds good.”
| 1111
Eduardo | “I’ve been a big fan for a long time. Think there might be a spot open at the World Cup?”
Lissie and Eduardo seem to hit it off quite a bit. The two discuss the industry for almost the entirety of the flight, leaving Addy and Sara looking on with jealousy.
Sara | “I thought we were supposed to find me a cute Spanish boy!”
Addy | “Just Lissie for ya babe, always need ta be tha center of attention!”
Lissie has been ignoring their concern.
Sara | “How do you think Spencer would react if he saw this?”
Addy | “Way ahead of ya, sis.”
Addy has discreetly positioned her camera to record Lissie and Eduardo, who have retreated to the back of the plane. She has her hand in his lap.
Sara | “Is she…?”
Addy | “I think they just pitched a trousa tent.”
Sara | “Well I… think I need to excuse myself.”
Sara leaves to the bathroom. Addy sucks on a lollipop, loving the fact that she will have some blackmail material for Spencer, should the two continue to be at each other’s throats.
Addy | “Whacha doin’ back there, girl?”
Lissie | “We’re playin’ rock paper scissors!”
Addy | “Uh-huh.”
Sara arrives back a few minutes later.
Sara | “Well, I feel better. Lissie’s not the only one who can join the Mile High Club.”
Addy | “Wha? Who ya pulled in there?”
Sara | “What? No one, just me.”
She runs her fingers under her nose and gives it a good sniff.
Addy | “That ain’t how it works, babe.”
Sara is confused and Addy laughs, grabbing Sara’s hands and getting a sniff in herself.
Addy | “Smells good.”
Narrator | A crisis has been averted. The three ladies find themselves on a beach-front oasis, a vacation rental in Cabo San Lucas. They won’t be able to explore the paradise for long, as they are booked for a long bus ride routing the Mexican countryside before they arrive at the Mexico City arena for self-dubbed Menage-a-Trios. But the tension can be cut, like a cuchillo en la mantequilla.
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Lissie | Why are you on your phone so much? Can’t you just sit and enjoy life?
Sara raises her pina colada to clank with Lissie’s margarita. But Lissie’s eyes are completely drawn to Adelaide, who is typing away on her phone. She giggles as she side-eyes Lissie, who is very perceptive.
Adelaide | Tha girl who can’t go two fuckin’ minutes without complainin’ ‘bout somethin’ wants ta talk about enjoyin’ life?
Sara | Addy! That’s mean! What’s going on with you two, anyway? I thought this trip was supposed to be fun!
Adelaide | Oh it’s fun! It’s fun seein’ the world burn!
Lissie’s phone erupts with a flurry of notifications from Twitter. She’s been tagged in an image, and now the comments start rolling in, so she sees a marquee of “slut!” and “whore!” and “Poor Spencer!” messages, until she finally scrolls up to the tweet from Real John Thomas.
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Real John Thomas @action_Wrestel (orwhatthefuckever)
I just received this EXCLUSIVE! That doesn’t look like Spencer Adams! But it sure as hell looks like Lissie Hope!
_____________
Lissie | Addy! What the fuck!
Addy smirks and raises her cold Long Island to her lips.
Adelaide | I ain’t send that shit out, babe. There was a lot of people on tha plane.
Sara | I just wanted to have fun this week.
Lissie | I don’t get it, Addy. I know you’ve always wanted everything I’ve had, from my titles to my legacy to my fucking brother, but now you want to jump me and toss me from battle royals? Now you wanna fuck up my relationship with Spencer??
Adelaide | Correction… ya fucked up ya relationship with Spencer. Like ya fuck up everythin’ else. Wait… ya had ya brother? Guess all that shit I ‘eard ‘bout Texas is fuckin’ true. Wow. I’m fuckin’ shook.
Sara | This isn’t a very fun week at all.
Adelaide | Lesbereal. Ya done dug that knife in ma back long ago. I’m just returnin’ tha favor. Like a hot cuchilla en la mantequilla.
Sara | Your Spanish is getting better!
Lissie | What the fuck are you talking about?
Adelaide | Think about it. Think long an’ hard like Robbie’s dick.
Lissie is thinking about it. She goes back to the origins of their story and revisits all of their history. Adelaide watches the wheels turning in her head. Even Sara looks completely confused.
Lissie | Yeah… I got nothin’.
Adelaide | Ya, I jus’ don’t like ya, bitch.
Addy hurls her drink at Lissie but most of the contents splash on Sara, who’s sitting between them. Lissie kicks off her flip flops and ties her hair back, ready to throw down. A vacationer pulls out his phone and yells “WORLDSTAR”. Sara provides a literal barrier as Addy and Lissie are attempting to beat the shit out of each other.
Unknown | Ladies, ladies! Please, they don’t pay me enough for this shit.
The lifeguard comes running into the frame looking like a fucking Mexican David Hasselhoff. His toned body glistens with sweat.
Adelaide | Ya paid enough ta lick me clit?
Unknown | I’m not allowed to do that ma’am.
Adelaide | Oh. I’ll let ya do whatever tha fuck ya want to me. Ya fuck me in the arse? Ya want me ta swallow ya cum? Ya wanna piss on me tits? Ya can do whatever ya want baby. How big’s ya dick, honey?
Sara | Is she always like this?
Lissie | It’s the only way she gets dudes to talk to her.
Unknown | Well, that’s not nice, she’s a beautiful girl.
Addy playfully turns and shows off her thonged rear-end. She then pulls off her top and flashes the nearby watchers.
Unknown | Even if I prefer modesty.
Sara | You work on a beach in a private resort… in Mexico… and you expect me to believe you prefer modesty?
Sara looks down in embarrassment at her one-piece that hides all her assets.
Unknown | I work in many industries.
Lissie | I feel like I know you from somewhere.
Adelaide | What’s ya name? Summa Sausage?
Unknown | It’s Eduardo.
Narrator | Wait… what the fuck? I swear I could hear the record scratch in my head. Who is this fucking dude and why is he showing up everywhere? You decide.
___________
Option 1 | Page 25/8
The reincarnated spirit of Nathan Gust.
Option 2 | Page 1111
The reincarnated spirit of Robbie Hope.
Option 3 | Page 69
A fucking stalker who bones Addy Ainsworth.
__________
| 25/8
Sara | "Well, Eduardo, it's nice to meet you. I'm Sara---"
Eduardo | "Ms. Pettis, the pleasure is all mine."
He takes her hand and gentlemanly kisses it. Addy looks on in disgust while Lissie smirks.
Lissie | "Our dear friend Sara is in desperate need of relaxation, Eduardo. What amenities do you recommend at this resort?"
Eduardo | "If you talk to Rinaldo at the front desk, there's a top notch couples massage that---"
He awkwardly pauses.
Eduardo | "I apologize."
Sara | "What's the matter?"
Eduardo | "My condolences, Ms. Pettis. I was a fan of your late husband."
Addy hands Sara a refill of her drink. Before handing it over, it looks like she slipped something into it. Sara stirs it with the tiny umbrella, then takes a sip.
Sara | "Ooftah! That's strong! What's in it?"
Addy | "Oh ya know. Lil bitta this. Lil bitta that."
Lissie | "Addy… no…"
Sara looks back to Eduardo.
Sara | "He was a good man, a good husband… and a great father."
Eduardo | "There's an old, local legend about a spot in the simpa dumpa lala goolah wippy naga shirpa tood---"
That's how Sara hears whatever he's trying to say. She looks down at her drink and then back to Eduardo, whose head is now that of cereal mascot Toucan Sam. She looks back at Addy.
Sara | "Whaaaaaat theeee fuuuuuccckk?!"
Addy | "Yyyaaaaasssssss!!!!!1"
Sara blinks and Addy is gone. Again and Lissie is gone. Again and Eduardo is gone. Sara is all alone on the beach, without a soul in sight. Off in the distance comes a white stallion carrying her late husband, AW Underworld Champion The Raging Dead. He dismounts the horse and approaches with a smile.
Sara | "Is this… real?"
Raging Dead? | "As real as it can be."
They embrace lovingly, then Sara holds his hands tightly.
Raging Dead? | "I don't have much time. I just want you to be careful with your new… friends…"
Sara | "Addy and Lissie? They're great! They're helping me come out of my shell."
Raging Dead? | "That's what worries me. You've seen me make plenty of mistakes. Just… be careful..."
Sara | "I love you."
Raging Dead? | "I know."
| 1111
Lissie | “How do you know all this about me?”
A sly smile is accentuated by the brown hue in his eyes turning red like lava.
Eduardo | “I know everything, Lissie. I know how much you feel like you don’t have anyone to turn to anymore. How you feel like you’re incapable of letting anyone in, or letting yourself feel it. I know how you blame yourself for what happened. If he hadn’t just went for eggs in the morning…”
Lissie’s walls are closing in around her. She feels her chest vibrating rapidly, and her vision blurs all around her. Addy and Sara are at the jukebox, oblivious to the conversation at hand.
Eduardo | “But you should let yourself off the hook. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault except for the people who did it, and the person who instigated it.”
Addy turns to look at the two deep in conversation at the bar. She can see Lissie’s eyes pouring, and notices Eduardo scratching at an itch on his shoulders.
Lissie | “But who?? I need to know!”
Eduardo | “I don’t think you want to know. The answers you’re looking for were buried deep in the soil. If you keep your ear close enough to the ground, maybe you’ll hear them.”
Eduardo scratches at his shoulder again and adjusts in his seat.
Eduardo | “You won’t find them from that dog. Whitefoot, is it?”
Lissie | “How do you know about Whitefoot??”
Eduardo | “I know everything, Lissie.”
Eduardo smirks and thumbs her cheek. In between two of his fingers, he holds one of her fallen eyelashes.
Eduardo | “You know what that means. Make a wish, Lissie. If you’ll excuse me…”
Eduardo exits the barstool and opens the door to the dimly lit dive bar. The sunlight pours in, surrounding him like a halo.
Lissie | “Wait!”
But through her blurry vision, she could have sworn that she saw white wings sprout from his shoulders and he took flight.
Lissie | “Please.”
Lissie buries her tearful eyes in her hands as Addy and Sara approach.
Sara | “That looked intense. Are you okay, Lissie?”
Addy cautiously places a tender hand on her shoulder.
Addy | “Ay, I prob’ly shoulda told ya this, but I slipped a Xanny in ya drink. Wanted ya to loosen up.”
Sara | “Addy… I don’t think that was Xanax.”
| 69
Eduardo | “Huh?”
Addy | “Yeh, I ain’t needed those drugs ya gave me. I was gonna fuck ya. But I took ‘em anyway.”
Eduardo | “I didn’t slop you drugs.”
Addy | “Don’t play cute, babe. I saw ya Roey’s ya dropped in me Vodka. S’all good.”
Eduardo | “So you really wanted to stick in your butthole?”
Addy | “Damn straight I did homeboy.”
Eduardo | “Really?”
Addy | “Ya think I didn’t see ya jerkin’ that dick’a ya’s behind tha cabanas? I saw it, it gave me wet ass pussy.”
Addy rolls over on top of the wet sheets, grabbing her cigarettes from the bedside table. She props herself up on her elbows, lighting one up she blows her first mouthful of smoke into Eduardo’s face.
Addy | “Boy, ya gotta realise I’m a woman with needs an’ when a boy like wanna jerk off in tha background. I’m gonna have it. Why ya think Lissie fuckin’ that boy, Spencer. She caught ‘im jerkin’ tha gherkin when she was showerin’. ‘Sides that ‘times I like someone makin’ me do somethin’ I obviously wouldn’t do.
Addy blows more smoke in the face of her lover when the post coital conversation is punctuated by the banging of fists on the hotel room door.
Eduardo | “Oh shit, the Federales.”
Addy | “Whatcha worried ‘bout?”
Eduardo | “I have a kilo of cocaine in the bathroom.”
Addy | “Boy ya been holdin’ out.”
Eduardo is panicking. Addy turns the bathroom shower on.
Addy | “Wait a minute would ya, I’m shavin’ me pubes.”
Addy tells Eduardo to be quiet and checks the cistern of the toilet and finds the rolled tube of cocaine.
Addy | “That ain’t a kilo, homeboy. But I got it sorted.”
The banging on the door continues, Eduardo jumps on the bed and pulls himself under covers while Addy inserts the cocaine deep inside of her.
Addy | “Hol’on. I cut me lip an’ it fuckin’ kills.”
Addy finishes the job and walks awkwardly to the hotel room door. She opens it - it’s not the federales. It’s Lissie Hope and Sara Pettis, the other two thirds of The Swallowing.
Sara | “What are you doing, Addy?”
Addy | “Fuckin’ an’ suckin’.”
Lissie | “Always thinking of herself.”
Addy | “Nah I’m always thinkin’a Swallowin’.”
Narrator | We fast-forward to the eve of Trios. After a long bus ride to Mexico City, the ladies are finally coming down off their bender. After Sara had been forced to be in the middle of a contentious trip between the former Tag Team Champions, she has enlisted the help of a relationship counselor endorsed by Action Wrestling.
__________
Sara | I tried to get to the bottom of their squabble but there’s just nothing I could do! I swear, it’s like getting two pissed off cats trying to stop clawing and biting each other!
Dr. Chavez | You aren’t trained for this, Sara. You tried your best, but I feel they need assistance from a professional. Please, invite them in.
Sara pokes her head out of the room and gets their attention.
Lissie | What are you doing, Sara?
Adelaide | We supposed ta be preppin’ fah a match an’ ya want us visitin’ a shrink?
Sara | He’s not a shrink, Addy! He just wants to help me find out what happened between you.
Lissie | I appreciate your concern, Sara, I really do. But I just think we are beyond salvation at this point.
Sara | Is this about the US title?
Adelaide | Already told tha bitch that I blacked out. She didn’t wanna hear it.
Lissie | Because it stretches further than that…
Adelaide | Ya sayin’ I’m loose?
Lissie | No, Addy. It goes back to Venable...
Adelaide | Tha Fuckin’ Pussy Vagina. Go on.
Lissie | ...and how her getting pinned cost me the World Championship. It goes back to the Tag Team titles, and how Addy was the one who got herself pinned at that one, too. And now the US title, where she couldn’t wait to throw my ass out after I…
Adelaide | ...threw me out, too.
Lissie | But most of all… Robbie…
Sara | I really think you should be discussing this in front of Dr. Chavez.
Adelaide | Bitch, I dunno know wha else I need ta do to prove I loved Robbie!
Lissie | No… it’s not that. I know you did. I guess I’m just… I’m just jealous that you got to say goodbye to him.
A pause.
Lissie | And I didn’t. And I fuckin’ hate you for it.
Sara | Dr. Chavez! Please, come out here, I think we’re getting somewhere!
Dr. Chavez | I’ve been listening in, and I think you’re right. There’s some deep seated resentment there that’s never been exposed. Addy, how do you feel about that?
Adelaide | I feel like I done know ya from somewhere, Chavo.
Dr. Chavez | I think you’re mistaken. But please… call me Eduardo.
Narrator | Some deep-seated skeletons are being exposed! We are finally getting a true glimpse into why Lissie and Adelaide, who had seemed so close for so long, have been a ticking time bomb! I cannot contain my excitement! How fuckin' hard are you right now?!
------------------------------
Option 1 | Page 1111
Lissie continues to spill the reasons for her resentment.
Option 2 | Page 69
After some soul-searching, Adelaide releases the guilt.
Option 3 | Page 25/8
Sara gets dicked down, which was the original goal for the Mexico Incident II.
______________
| 1111
Lissie | “Sometimes, I feel like she’s just taking advantage of me, y’know? Ridin’ on my coattails and shit.”
Eduardo | “She won the BBC in spite of you, though.”
Lissie | “Nah, you’re mistaken, Eddie. I nail that BBC.”
Eduardo | “I’m talking about the Baddest… excuse me… Bitch… Crown. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
Lissie | “Right, right… so yeah, she just been latched on to this dick, y’know? Kinda like how Crow rode Spency to the Tag Titties. And Victor rode Kazzy-San-Sentai to the fuckin’ grave. And Howie? Oh god, that dork.”
Eduardo | “I think you’re losing your train of thought. We were talking about those feelings you’re internalizing.”
Lissie | “Yeah.. I feel them feelings, just pushin’ in from the back. Feelin’ it in my guts like a big BBC.”
Eduardo | “Are you on drugs?”
Lissie | “Y’all got the best drugs here.”
Dr. Chavez nods his head, not really able to argue the point.
Eduardo | “You don’t sound like yourself right now, Lissie.”
Lissie | “Does anyone sound like themselves? Are we all living right now in the Twilight Zone? Beyond the glass, like Alice in Wonderland? In a deep far away fantasy?”
Eduardo | “...no, it just sounds like you’re on drugs.”
Lissie | “Correct, sir! You are absolutely correct.”
Eduardo | “What are you on right now?”
Lissie | “Do you care? Does anyone?”
Eduardo | “I thnk you’re gonna regret this later.”
Lissie | “I think you’re full of shit.”
Eduardo | “I might be, Lissie… but I’m worried about you.”
Lissie | “Bullshit, homie. Nobody cares about me anymore. Maybe before, maybe when I had something to offer, maybe back when someone had no other choice… but I’m damaged goods now. I’m a liability.”
Eduardo | “I think you’re wrong. You’re still Lissie ‘Fuckin Hope.”
Lissie | “No, doc.I’m not.”
| 69
Addy | “Look Doc Eddy, ya gotta realise, Robbie was gone be me Missus Howard Black.”
Eduardo | “I’m not sure what you mean, Adelaide?”
Addy | “He was gonna be tha one that I settle with. He was gonna be tha one I married.”
Adelaide pauses. She swallows her saliva, holding back her emotions she checks over her shoulder to make sure no one else is around.
Addy | “An’ I killed ‘im. Sure as shit, I killed’im”
Eduardo | “Wasn’t he attacked by random thugs in the street at the height of the George Floyd riots. I don’t think you laid the boots into him. It’s not your fault, you have no need to hold that guilt.”
Addy | “Nah, Doc. Ya don’t get it aye. I put ‘im that situation wit’ tha shit I laid down. It’s like how Kaz killed VHS just by existin’ in ‘is world.”
Eduardo | “You can’t blame yourself for how Robbie died, Adelaide. It’s survivor’s guilt that you’re suffering from.”
Addy | “Nah, Doc, it ain’t. I know why Robbie died. It’s cause I ratted out tha Bigliani Crime family. Probably pissed off tha Sinaloa Cartel cuttin’ off their fuckin’ distribution network.”
Eduardo | “So you’re saying that your actions are directly responsible for Robbie Hope’s death?”
Addy | “Damn straight, homie. I’m fuckin’ sayin’ that. Just like I’m sayin’ that people ain’t shit like their family. An’ I fucked it up, bit like Crow did aye. Just gotta pray Lissie forgives me.”
Adelaide puts her head in her hands and starts crying. Doctor Eduardo Chavez places his hand on her shoulder to gently comfort her.
Eduardo | “Adelaide, you’re not responsible for Robbie’s death.”
Addy | “Yeh. Yeh, I fuckin’ am. If I just let shit be none’a this woulda fuckin’ happened.”
Eduardo | “It’s possible. But it’s also possible that they would’ve killed Robbie Hope anyway.”
Adelaide lifts her head from her hands and looks at Dr. Chavez right in the eyes.
Addy | “Yeh. But then it ain’t be my fault.”
| 25/8
Sara | "I didn't even end up with my auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
Eduardo | "I'm not following."
Sara | "It's from a… TV show… with Will Smith."
Eduardo | "The rapper?"
Sara | "The… uhh… yes. Yeah, this year has been rough. Started to have ups but it's been constant downs. I'm just so… tense… all the time. The girls planned this whole trip to loosen me up and get me to relax… and I just… can't. I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop."
Eduardo | "Is any of the stress work-related?"
Sara | "Of course. Action Wrestling was a big part of Nathan's life for eight months. Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of him. His name is still on their lips. Some of them… even call him a… uhh…"
Eduardo | "A what, Sara?"
Sara | "Because of our age gap, they call him a… pedophile. It's heartbreaking to hear."
She lowers her head and holds her neck.
Eduardo | "Do you carry a lot of stress in your neck? Shoulders?"
He moves closer and sits next to her.
Eduardo | "May I?"
Sara | "Mmhm."
He starts rubbing her neck and shoulders as she moans.
Eduardo | "This would be easier from the table. I'm also a licensed masseuse."
Sara | "Of course you are."
He points to the other side of the room, at the massage table.
Narrator | I’m just… I’m just lost at this point.
_______________
The scene opens up back in the jumbo airliner. A flight attendant passes the aisle and checks in on the slumbering bodies of Addy Ainsworth, Lissie Hope, and Sara Pettis. She notices that the three are deep in sleep and decides not to wake them. A sudden jolt of turbulence knocks the flight attendant off her feet and she lands right in Addy’s lap.
Adelaide | Ay, if ya wanna cop a feel ya gonna have to pay for it!
Adelaide says this instinctively, still half-asleep. It takes a second for her to come to her senses. She notices Sara’s eyes slowly open.
Sara | Oh god, where are we? Addy, what was in those drinks?
Adelaide | I met some bloke in the bathroom at the airport, told me it was tha good shit.
Sara | Well, it was something.
Slowly, Lissie starts to wake up.
Lissie | Have we landed?
The flight attendant fixes her skirt and adjusts her nametag. It reads Edwina.
Edwina | We are about to descend. We’ll be arriving in twenty minutes.
She’s obviously annoyed and just walks off. No fake customer service here.
Lissie | I had the weirdest fucking dream.
Adelaide | Yah… me too.
Sara | Thirded.
Adelaide | Lis… I’m sorry about the battle royal.
Lissie | I know babe, me too. Don’t sweat it. They will try to make it a thing… but we’re unbreakable.
Sara | So what bar we hitting first?
Now that I'm half in the bag… it's time for some straight shootin'! Fun lovin', mild mannered, goodie two shoes Sara Pettis is ready to cut loose and tear some new assholes in this tumultuous Trios Tournament. Who'd we get in the first round anyway? The AW2K20 randomly generated team of Kaz Mazy, Howard Black and Crow McMorris. Anyone else'd be shakin' in their cowgirl boots over havin' to face those three… but not this broken down, washed up, never was.
There. I got the talking points against me out of the way right off the bat. Oh, also my husband is dead. DEAD! Everyone has reminded me for months about it. Gee fuckin' thanks, guys. So what do Kaz and Howie and Crow have in common? They spent this last week taking swimming lessons from the ocean they're gonna be tossed into! When the Swallowing slip-n-slides into the ring with all this WAP energy… there ain't no chance those boys won't drown!
Who is first on the feast? Alphabetically it's Crow McMorris. Oooookay. Who the fuck is Crow McMorris?! I've been showing up here for almost a year and never heard of it. Is it a man? A woman? A potato shaped like Abraham Lincoln? Who knows?! I need to know what I'm going to be working with but I can't seem to find any info on it. My sistas have done lots of tag stuff, so hopefully they can help me out.
Howie Black is definitely a man. I know because I saw a leaked photo of his tiny weiner. How come nobody body shamed him for it? Huh?! If he were a she, she would've been roasted by the internet nerds. So now Howie… or Howard… I wanna call him Howie. How is the new U.S. Champion thanks to a… uhh… miscommunication between Addy and Lissie. Now he represents these fine United States. Well, the country is a shitshow and it won't get any better with him representing our country. Fuck Howie 2020. I'm all about WAP 2020.
That leaves the current Cruiserweight Champion Teo Blaze. Wait. No. Bolas. Shit. No. QDT? Uhhhhh. Damnit. Kaz Mazy! Sorry about that. Since my late husband decided to abandon that belt, it's been tossed around more than Addy at a Duke lacrosse party. Was that too far? Or not far enough? Kaz has what I so desire from the depth of my loins. That belt is beautiful and should be carried by a real champion. Not a fucking cosplay nerd. After he gets washed out of the Trios Tournament on Monday… I'ma tie an anchor to his title reign and CruiserClash will have a new captain.
I've spent the last few months wallowing on my sorrows. The Swallowing has lifted me up and brought me to a top tier in Action Wrestling. Thanks to them… and entirely too much alcohol… I'm a brand… new… Sara Pettis. Now… if you'll excuse me… I'm going to puke my fucking brains out.
Sara proceeds to throw the ENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE contents of her stomach into Addy’s handbag.
WHAT THA FUCK, SARA!
Sara pulls out three Dildos: One MASSIVE BLACK DILDO, a tiny little buzzer vibrator barely bigger than a pinky finger and a floppy rubber dildo that just folds over.
WHAT THE FUCK, ADDY!
A gurl can’t have her toys?
Haven’t seen someone carry three in a handbag before.
Gotta have one fah every fuckin’ occasion, Sarebear. See that fourteen-inch one that ya can barely fit in ya hands. I like ta call that tha Neglected Wife. That’s fah those moments when I should should bein’ pampered by me man at ‘ome. But, tha cunts on tha road or out wit’ tha boys playin’ roll ‘round wit’ sweaty men rather than gettin’ ‘is dig all up in me. That’s what that big black Anaconda is fah. Ya know, come ta think’a it. I really should send that ta Howie Black’s wife, ya know. Since that fucker, sees fit ta keep havin’ “one more match”. Homeboy, should be buryin’ ‘is face between her thighs, ‘stead he gonna get buried by tha Swallowin’. Amirite?
Sara looks unsteady on her chair, holding the floppy dildo.
On that one, Sarebear. Tha’s fah those times when ya just wanna slap an’ tickle when ya not lookin’ ta achieve much on ya own. Gives ya’self tha illusion of importance, but ya not really gonna do anything. It’s me Crowdo. Ya know tha type’a thing that gets ya all hyped up like ya gonna have a really good time but when ya really get down ta bizness, it leaves ya wantin’ a whole lot fuckin’ more so ya gotta bring in someone else ta join tha fuckin’ party, right. Bit like ‘ow Crow couldn’t do much’a anythin’ substantial ‘til he hooked up wit’ Spency. Wonder ‘ow that fucker feels that he only got Lissie’s panties an’ Spency got ‘er pussy.
Miss Pettis pokes the little buzzing vibrator before falling off her chair to the floor.
That one, babe? That’s me little buzzer. Tha’ one ya carry ‘round wit’ ta give ya a little bit’a excitement but ya when ya not lookin’ fah a real meal. Perfect fah those li’l cruiserweights. Ya should keep it when ya wake up Sare. Help take on that little buzzbox, Kaz. It’s not like he got much’a anythin’ in his pocket, Sare. Look at ‘is skintight suit he ain’t packin’ nothin’ under that girl. Tha boy ain’t gonna throw me ‘round like any’a those Duke boys, gurl. He’s just a little buzzer that thinks he gonna give a good time but like all’a em he’s just gonna get a good Swallowin’.
Addy looks down on the passed out Sara as she sleeps on the floor.
Ya need ta learn how ta handle ya piss, girl.
What in the actual fuck?
Lissie Hope walks into the frame, observing the shenanigans of her tag team partners.
I thought we said three-o-clock?
Well, we did. But Sara takes care of tha kids fah twenty hours a day so she hit tha bottle pretty early, and ya wake up at 3 every day and don’t get goin’ till sundown, and I’m in a different fuckin’ time zone so it’s pretty damn hard to get all ah us on tha same page.
Did you already hit 6k?
Pro’ly. We done bought a shit ton a blow to last a bit.
You never leave me any room!
What tha fuck ya talkin’ about?
Nevermind. So it’s my turn? You left me eight words?
Fuck a word-count, I go acapella!
A burst of energy wakes Sara Pettis from her drunk slumber.
Fuck a doc, fuck a pop, fuck a Kaz, fuck a Crow, fuck everybody!
And then she passes out again.
Right… so I guess this is where I’m supposed to deliver some pretentious wisdom that inspired me from the grave. Where I’m supposed to think of some abstract idea or theme that connects all of our opponents into our livelihood, into our story, into our dynamic, and weave shit in and out so it leaves you all thinking one thing --
‘What the fuck is Lissie talking about?’
Well, two things.
‘And where the fuck is she going with this?’
A pause. She pulls out a package of breath mints and pops one in her mouth. She looks over in the corner and Addy has Sara hovering over her lap, holding her hair up as she dry-heaves. She offers one up and Addy says no and Lissie shakes her head, smirking.
I already forgot where I was going with this.
But to be honest, wasn’t that the point? We know we’re walking to Trios against a group formed out of thin air… or the faint remnants of UCI memory that no one gives a shit about, anyway. Crow and Kaz have some history? Who gives a fuck? And Howie Black… fuckin’ Howie… somehow managing to pull off a win at hashtag-one-hundred and coming away with the United States Championship even if that was my opportunity to be a Triple Crown until---
She looks over at Addy.
We talked ‘bout that.
Right, right. I said I wouldn’t mention it. Goddamn my mind’s all over the place.
Fuckin’ Mexico.
Fuckin’ Mexico, indeed. That shit is ancient history. What ain’t history though? Somethin’ we still gotta listen to for God knows how long is how Howie got involved in this Philidor shit. The biggest swerve in AW history~~ where now he gotta just forget how Olive Adler cucked the fuck out of Derrick Vayden for a few months and now they’re just all besties and shit. Goddamn, and we’re the ones who can’t trust each other? That’s what people are gonna harp on?
Don’t make any sense.
I’m glad you’re alive, Sara, but yes. That’s an astute observation. People gonna talk about how Addy has just been biding her time, waiting for the right moment to double-cross me, but what they don’t understand is what we’ve always been about is winning. At any cost. By any means necessary. That’s what some people don’t understand - we been put through the ringer, but we ain’t ironing shit out with the press!
Are ya still quotin’ Eminem?
Yes… yes I am. You know, people like to talk about my short World Championship reigns. I’m sure Howie and Crow did but I stopped watching that Howie promo a few minutes in and who the fuck knows what Crow even talks about, but I’m sure it’s in there. I’m sure it’s come out of their fat fucking lips before. But here’s the thing, you know you set a mark too high when platinum sales are looked as a failure!
Ya still doin’ it.
Get it, platinum sales equal World titles?
Yeh we got it.
I got it, Lissie!
Thank you, Sara! But for real, last week, I said I was never going to win the World Championship again. And part of me thinks that’s true, y’know? Some of the old faves are stopping by and skipping the line and it seems I’ll never get a chance to reclaim the two Championships that were robbed of me but that’s neither here nor there. Maybe, this is what I should do. Maybe… just maybe… I should inject some life into CruiserClash one of these days.
Record scratch.
Hear me out. It’s a division I bypassed altogether, though it’s one where I fit all the size requirements. It’s a division I could obviously take by storm, as Teo Blaze and Karlie Nash - two wins I’ve got on my resume - have proven. And what better introduction would I have than to kick Kaz Mazy’s fucking ass this week and send him back into orbit with the spaceman he murdered?
I wonder if Nathan and Victor are up there putting on a show? And what if Robbie is the announcer?
Sara starts bawling inconsolably. Addy looks at Lissie with a “what the fuck do I do?” face.
Babe, I’m sorry, I’ll change the subject!
So, uh… Crow. You fucking creep. You know, the thing about Crow is that he’s obviously so ass-hurt that now his old partner is spending so much time with me--
An’ Lockhart--
Addy, please.
Sorry babe, it’s tha percs.
Lissie pulls out her tin of breathmints and swallows another one down.
Anyways, yeah. So he was runnin’ ‘round the locker room looking for someone to remember that he was worth a damn. He was all ‘hey guys, look at me! I’m still around! Let’s do some UCI revival or some shit!’ and of course Howie was all ‘yeah dude, come onboard! I’m gettin’ a little lonely on the road now that my wife won’t let me in the bed since I forgot I told her I would be back more often!’ and Kaz is all ‘was I in UCI? I don’t fuckin’ remember.’
Well, Kaz… neither do I. Neither does anyone else. Because we don’t care. We don’t care about you, or that stupid fucking costume you stole out of Howie’s kid’s closet. We don’t care that you, or anyone else in Action Wrestling, think you can find even the smallest bit of tension between Addy and I that you’re seeking to exploit. We are competitive by nature. We always try to out-do one another. We want to shine, we want to show who’s the best in this fuckin’ partnership. And if that ain’t the sign of team chemistry, then I don’t know what the fuck is.
And then you look at who we enlisted. Sara, who ain’t got shit to prove to no one, who’s gonna keep the two of us focused on what’s fuckin’ important--
Makin’ sure she ain’t got alcohol poisonin’?
That, too. But this menage-a-Trios… we got everythin’ no one else has. We got that balance. We got that fearlessness. We got that attitude that it don’t matter what the fuck happens in that ring, we still gonna come out just as strong as before.
Sara wakes from her slumber.
Howie said I was just in this match.
Well, Howie’s fuckin’ wrong. Because we needed you, after that bullshit from last week. After the US title nearly tore me and Addy apart from one another. We got that shit squared away, and believe us, boys… that makes us the most fucking dangerous. Because without a title in the picture to drive a wedge between us, when we can just go to the ring and fuckin’ show out, we got this shit in the bag.
Hol’ on. Back up. I got two questions. One, did ya just respond to a Howie Black line, and two, how tha fuck did Sara hear it?
The camera pans to Sara Pettis and she literally looks dead. Her hair is discheveled. She’s covered in puke. She’s holding one of Addy’s giant dildos like it’s the last thing she’ll ever touch.
Somebody tell Howie before I snap / he better fasten it / or have his body bag get zipped / the closest thing he’s had to hits is smackin’ bitches!
Ya think he beats his wife?
I dunno… probably? I’m sure Frank Lowe will be the next reject to join Philidor.
Frank Lowe???
Sara squeals in agony at the mere mention of his name.
Look what ya did!
Goddamnit, I’m sorry Sara! Here… since we’re way over our allotted time, let’s just end this shit on our catchphrase. I would say let’s do a toast but I don’t think any of us need anythin’ else to drink. So come on, babe… clean yourself up. Wipe that… vomit from your hair…
Sara sits up, her eyes rolled back in her head. Addy caresses her gently.
TA PARTYIN’ LIKE ROCKSTARS!
AND WINNIN’ LIKE ALL-STARS!
Somehow, Sara gets a giant fucking bolt of energy because nothing makes sense.
AND FUCKIN’ LIKE PORNSTARS!
We are the fuckin’ Swallowing, we’re the rightful tag team champions, and we’ll be holdin’ that Trios trophy up!
An’ I hope that shit is sculped with three fuckin’ fingers high up in the fuckin’ sky! Cause these fuckin’ things…
One by one, she tosses each of the dildos that represented their opponents in the trash can.
They ain’t doin’ us no good. This the WAP party!
WE!
AIN’T!
PLAYIN’!
Around!
Goddammit, Sara. We practiced th--
Camera cut. End scene.
A few hours later, we open up to an alleyway behind a Mexican dive bar. The three ladies are adorned in sombreros and ponchos. Sara has a fake mustache drawn on her face. Addy’s skirt is half-way hiked up. Lissie is holding a half empty bottle of Corona in her hand. The three slowly open their eyes and come to.
Lissie | Where the hell are we? What did we do?
Sara | We had a good fuckin’ time.
Adelaide | Mah bitches.
They slowly rise to their feet and embrace in a huge hug.
Lissie | We needed this.
Sara scurries away to puke, and Addy follows and holds her hair from her eyes. Lissie watches and smiles, knowing that no matter what happens in that ring, she’s got her girls. And there would be nothing that could get in their way.
Her phone rings.
Lissie | Hello?
She shakes the cobwebs from her head.
Agent Stone | Hello, Lissie. I’m sorry to call so late. Is this a bad time?
Lissie | No, it’s fine. What’s going on?
Agent Stone | We have something very important to discuss. Please sit down.
Lissie looks around at her surroundings and realizes that she can’t.
Lissie | I am. Spit it out.
Agent Stone | We’ve learned of some very important information regarding your brother’s attack. You’re not going to want to hear it.