Post by Logan Santa Clause Joker on Jan 19, 2020 13:27:36 GMT -5
"Does it matter? I'm going to lose anyway."
Darkness fell into the floor, and everything it touched turned into grey. The fog of shadow found themselves trapped inside the apartment of a young man. He was sitting on the floor where his appearance was obscure by blackness. But with the help of a light, as you get closer, you will see that his face was pale. His eyebags emerged, not from his injuries but from his sorrow. That melancholic person was Logan Demon Joker in his desolate state.
Can you blame him? Logan suffered a losing streak for three weeks. He remembered it very well when he failed to win a triple threat match against TFK and Shadowlove just like he won against Evander Cage and Dark Tiger. Logan lost to Alex Richards in a clean victory. The worst part was the rumor circulated about the young man with receiving a very bad reputation. Now his image became shattered to pieces. And to put the final nail in the coffin, Spencer Adams and Kyle Kemp left him during the six-man tag bout against Casey Holliday, Shadowlove and Jared Holmes. LDJ’s friends seemed to lost respect for him, so he retreated back to Japan and stayed in a cheap motel until he spotted a new home.
But here’s the sad reality for Chris. He lost everything. He viewed himself as a man getting beaten by a group of thugs then they stripped all his possession that he has. Somehow that analogy reminded him a vision that he had when he was on the coma.
Logan witnessed how a young teenage girl became a mess. As a schoolgirl, some guy introduced her the world of sex and drugs. Time passed by, her classmates and her parents ousted her leaning towards the same guy who gave her the experience. That was when the teen became a part-time prostitute. When that guy kicked her out, she became homeless. Short time afterwards, she was pregnant. She had a resolve to change her life around for the sake for the baby. However, it got worse. She continued to work as a prostitute despite being six months pregnant. She then kept taking drugs to relieve the pain she received.
The girl’s ending didn’t fare her well. She met with a group of her former schoolmates then after some commotion, they assault her physically first by kicking the big belly thus killing the unborn child. Later they kept kicking her until the point of unconsciousness. Then they stole all the money that she stole. As the wake up, she proceeded to the public comfort room only to see her disfigured with a dead baby inside her womb. With everything lost, she inclined to one thing she had on her hand, powdered drugs. She took it one last time then later died after fantasied her dream to become a mother and turned her life around.
That was the vision he dreamed when Demon Joker was confined in the hospital, the plot of an infamous manga known as Metamorphosis.
Logan knew it was a foreshadowing for the things to come, his demise. He realized that it was time. But he was not ready yet. He wished for someone he had left. Logan travelled back to his mind for some memory lane.
I remember…
It was on May 17, 2015. It was a night before LDJ’s match for the MWA World Championship. The young Dinosaur King defeated the likes of Rex Rapier in the first round, then Magnus in the semi-finals. He needed to prevail over the talented Angel Lina in order to get the prize. During those time, he had a rough day for he filled his mind with self-doubt and misery. His previous victory could’ve encourage him, but it didn’t. However, if there’s one thing that motivated him, it was Demon King’s late girlfriend Fione.
In Logan’s eyes, Fione was happy to see his impressive record of Madness Wrestling Alliance. She loved to be on his corner in every match. She was confident for LDJ to beat Angel Lina in the MWA World Title Tournament finals. Fione noticed that Logan lost his confidence. That was the time she uttered for very words, “You can do it, Logan. I believe you.”
The words “I believe you”, reminded the bond between Fione and Logan. In response, LDJ nodded as he was resolute to win the tournament and the title. Unfortunately, he failed to make it happen as Angel Lina executed with Angel Wing Diving Splash. That defeated gave The Demon King a hard blow establishing his self-doubt on his mind. After that match, Logan glanced at Fione which she felt disappointed. It spoke that LDJ let her down.
I let her down…
“Some joke I am”, LDJ declared while sitting on the wooden floor. But then again, he looked back at the mood that his late girlfriend made. She sounded like she was not impressed. Logan knew that he had nothing to blame but himself.
The road to memory lane was getting grim as he began to ponder another leading event.
It was raining on that day, and poured violently. The terrain became a muddy water filled with door, but it didn’t stop anyone. LDJ sprinted across the murky road like it didn’t matter to him. He didn’t have an umbrella to protect himself from the rain, but he didn’t care. The only thing that was on his mind was running. What could it be? Was he running for his life? No one knew and no one cared.
Logan arrived at his destination point to which he made a ruckus by tripping over the garbage can. Instead of cleaning that up, he stood up and proceeded on his way. The neighbors were annoyed by it, so they chased after him. As one man grabbed his sweater, he tried to interrogate the young LDJ. But the boy tugged it off, and ran away. He rushed as fast as he can searching for that door. He spotted it and pounded the door with his fist. Logan huffed for breath as he shouted for his girlfriend, Fione.
It was no response, and the neighbors were getting closer. Logan left no other option. He tackled the door and hurt himself. It broke through as LDJ stumbled on the floor. Now the neighbors arrived only to meet the horror in front of their eyes.
“CALL 911!”
Logan looked up, and saw that the horror were finally coming true.
The room was messy, the furniture was misplaced and white powder scattered everywhere. And now the greatest nightmare of all, a girl hanging with the noose.
“FIONE!”
Logan broke into tears. His eyes shut while his tears rolling through his face. He cried and poured everything out from his head knowing how his failures affected everyone just like how it affected his late girlfriend, Fione. Logan’s mind was dark, and it motivated him to hate himself even more. The Dinosaur Prince started to pummel with his fist to himself, but it wasn’t enough. He started to find a hard object to whack on his head repeatedly, but his body controlled over his will to keep himself calm. Logan was restless and unease to make his thoughts go away. That was until he heard something.
“Shh… It’s okay.”
LDJ opened his eyes while his tear flowing.
“I’m the one you needed the most.”
“I can shut them up forever.”
“You don’t have to live in this shit.”
...
“Open the drawer.”
Logan then followed the command. As he opened it, he saw a revolver that someone gave to him as he requested.
“I’m here for you. Make it stop.”
LDJ picked the revolver then sat on his bed.
[Count to Six and Die]
A revolver took its spin producing some clicked sound. The barrel was shiny and the gear sounded rusty. It was ready to shoot.
1… 2… 3… The clock is ticking, and death was now into the doorsteps. The night is serene, and the place was quiet. No one suspected anything, setting up for a perfect scene.
Wetness was the primary sensation, and head got heavier and heavier when holding a piece of death contraption.
The promise was assuring. With only a bullet on the cylinder, every nightmare will go away. Every fear will disappear. Everything will be better.
The reward of one final bullet is a final exit to afterlife.
One bullet on the slot and it became settled. It was the time to test how easy it was to put an end of one’s misery. The gun positioned its barrel on the side of Logan’s head.
First chamber represented the time when his biological father passed away.
*click* *clang*
Second chamber represented the time when his girlfriend took her life away.
*click* *clang*
Third chamber represented the time when arrogance dominated him and caused a mess.
*click* *clang*
Fourth chamber represented the time when friends abandoned him including the one closest, Serena.
*click* *clang*
Fifth chamber represented the time when all of his pride stripped away.
*click* *clang*
It was the sixth and final chamber, and the gun moved its position from the side of his head to his mouth. A promising fighter for a promising exit.
Everything that I’ve done was full of shit. From my eyes, to my mouth, to my ears, to my hands, and to brain, everything was flawed. I’ve lost everything, my friends, my credibility, my motivation, and everyone I leaned on. Everyone turned against me. Now everyone wants my head on the silver plate. Guess I need to ponder my existence. I was a mistake after all.
All I see is blue, so much blue that turned into gray. Pins and needles are on my spine slowly weakens me. It made me want to lay on the floor and sleep forever. Why do I keep living? Come to think of it, why do I have to end like this?
The population of this earth is still exploding at this rate. As it increases, the earth has gone deteriorated. And yet, I haven’t done my part to save it. Maybe, just maybe. If should be here in this world anymore. If I die, maybe I’ve did a favor for the world. After all, I have no future. Maybe I spent my internet to search for anything. A refuge to feel myself comfortable.
But despite all that, from the memes I could laugh, from the naked women I watched, from the dirty mindset I’ve put on, and from the drugs I’ve take. All of these could help me distract from the reality I’ve been through. Seems the hatred of the people and the grim reality of it all seems to be unescapable. It would probably the best if I just kill myself.
If I kill myself, everyone will be happy. Maybe, my parents shouldn’t suffer like this anymore. My mom would be okay and live in a comfortable way. So is my dad, I wouldn’t see me my stupidity anymore. My brother, well. As he finish his study, he can help my mom and my dad for a better life. I guess, the world would be better without me. No one is getting hurt because of me. No one is getting annoyed because of me. Also, the world is getting better when I soon be dead. I’m just a fucking dead weight.
I guess this is it.
It’s my final note to all of you. Thank you for tolerating my annoying presence. I love all you even you all hate me. Throw my corpse into the sea for I don’t deserve to have a good burial.
If you read this, you will know that I already kill myself.
*click*
Darkness fell into the floor, and everything it touched turned into grey. The fog of shadow found themselves trapped inside the apartment of a young man. He was sitting on the floor where his appearance was obscure by blackness. But with the help of a light, as you get closer, you will see that his face was pale. His eyebags emerged, not from his injuries but from his sorrow. That melancholic person was Logan Demon Joker in his desolate state.
Can you blame him? Logan suffered a losing streak for three weeks. He remembered it very well when he failed to win a triple threat match against TFK and Shadowlove just like he won against Evander Cage and Dark Tiger. Logan lost to Alex Richards in a clean victory. The worst part was the rumor circulated about the young man with receiving a very bad reputation. Now his image became shattered to pieces. And to put the final nail in the coffin, Spencer Adams and Kyle Kemp left him during the six-man tag bout against Casey Holliday, Shadowlove and Jared Holmes. LDJ’s friends seemed to lost respect for him, so he retreated back to Japan and stayed in a cheap motel until he spotted a new home.
But here’s the sad reality for Chris. He lost everything. He viewed himself as a man getting beaten by a group of thugs then they stripped all his possession that he has. Somehow that analogy reminded him a vision that he had when he was on the coma.
Logan witnessed how a young teenage girl became a mess. As a schoolgirl, some guy introduced her the world of sex and drugs. Time passed by, her classmates and her parents ousted her leaning towards the same guy who gave her the experience. That was when the teen became a part-time prostitute. When that guy kicked her out, she became homeless. Short time afterwards, she was pregnant. She had a resolve to change her life around for the sake for the baby. However, it got worse. She continued to work as a prostitute despite being six months pregnant. She then kept taking drugs to relieve the pain she received.
The girl’s ending didn’t fare her well. She met with a group of her former schoolmates then after some commotion, they assault her physically first by kicking the big belly thus killing the unborn child. Later they kept kicking her until the point of unconsciousness. Then they stole all the money that she stole. As the wake up, she proceeded to the public comfort room only to see her disfigured with a dead baby inside her womb. With everything lost, she inclined to one thing she had on her hand, powdered drugs. She took it one last time then later died after fantasied her dream to become a mother and turned her life around.
That was the vision he dreamed when Demon Joker was confined in the hospital, the plot of an infamous manga known as Metamorphosis.
Logan knew it was a foreshadowing for the things to come, his demise. He realized that it was time. But he was not ready yet. He wished for someone he had left. Logan travelled back to his mind for some memory lane.
I remember…
It was on May 17, 2015. It was a night before LDJ’s match for the MWA World Championship. The young Dinosaur King defeated the likes of Rex Rapier in the first round, then Magnus in the semi-finals. He needed to prevail over the talented Angel Lina in order to get the prize. During those time, he had a rough day for he filled his mind with self-doubt and misery. His previous victory could’ve encourage him, but it didn’t. However, if there’s one thing that motivated him, it was Demon King’s late girlfriend Fione.
In Logan’s eyes, Fione was happy to see his impressive record of Madness Wrestling Alliance. She loved to be on his corner in every match. She was confident for LDJ to beat Angel Lina in the MWA World Title Tournament finals. Fione noticed that Logan lost his confidence. That was the time she uttered for very words, “You can do it, Logan. I believe you.”
The words “I believe you”, reminded the bond between Fione and Logan. In response, LDJ nodded as he was resolute to win the tournament and the title. Unfortunately, he failed to make it happen as Angel Lina executed with Angel Wing Diving Splash. That defeated gave The Demon King a hard blow establishing his self-doubt on his mind. After that match, Logan glanced at Fione which she felt disappointed. It spoke that LDJ let her down.
I let her down…
“Some joke I am”, LDJ declared while sitting on the wooden floor. But then again, he looked back at the mood that his late girlfriend made. She sounded like she was not impressed. Logan knew that he had nothing to blame but himself.
The road to memory lane was getting grim as he began to ponder another leading event.
It was raining on that day, and poured violently. The terrain became a muddy water filled with door, but it didn’t stop anyone. LDJ sprinted across the murky road like it didn’t matter to him. He didn’t have an umbrella to protect himself from the rain, but he didn’t care. The only thing that was on his mind was running. What could it be? Was he running for his life? No one knew and no one cared.
Logan arrived at his destination point to which he made a ruckus by tripping over the garbage can. Instead of cleaning that up, he stood up and proceeded on his way. The neighbors were annoyed by it, so they chased after him. As one man grabbed his sweater, he tried to interrogate the young LDJ. But the boy tugged it off, and ran away. He rushed as fast as he can searching for that door. He spotted it and pounded the door with his fist. Logan huffed for breath as he shouted for his girlfriend, Fione.
It was no response, and the neighbors were getting closer. Logan left no other option. He tackled the door and hurt himself. It broke through as LDJ stumbled on the floor. Now the neighbors arrived only to meet the horror in front of their eyes.
“CALL 911!”
Logan looked up, and saw that the horror were finally coming true.
The room was messy, the furniture was misplaced and white powder scattered everywhere. And now the greatest nightmare of all, a girl hanging with the noose.
“FIONE!”
Logan broke into tears. His eyes shut while his tears rolling through his face. He cried and poured everything out from his head knowing how his failures affected everyone just like how it affected his late girlfriend, Fione. Logan’s mind was dark, and it motivated him to hate himself even more. The Dinosaur Prince started to pummel with his fist to himself, but it wasn’t enough. He started to find a hard object to whack on his head repeatedly, but his body controlled over his will to keep himself calm. Logan was restless and unease to make his thoughts go away. That was until he heard something.
“Shh… It’s okay.”
LDJ opened his eyes while his tear flowing.
“I’m the one you needed the most.”
“I can shut them up forever.”
“You don’t have to live in this shit.”
...
“Open the drawer.”
Logan then followed the command. As he opened it, he saw a revolver that someone gave to him as he requested.
“I’m here for you. Make it stop.”
LDJ picked the revolver then sat on his bed.
[Count to Six and Die]
A revolver took its spin producing some clicked sound. The barrel was shiny and the gear sounded rusty. It was ready to shoot.
1… 2… 3… The clock is ticking, and death was now into the doorsteps. The night is serene, and the place was quiet. No one suspected anything, setting up for a perfect scene.
Wetness was the primary sensation, and head got heavier and heavier when holding a piece of death contraption.
The promise was assuring. With only a bullet on the cylinder, every nightmare will go away. Every fear will disappear. Everything will be better.
The reward of one final bullet is a final exit to afterlife.
One bullet on the slot and it became settled. It was the time to test how easy it was to put an end of one’s misery. The gun positioned its barrel on the side of Logan’s head.
First chamber represented the time when his biological father passed away.
*click* *clang*
Second chamber represented the time when his girlfriend took her life away.
*click* *clang*
Third chamber represented the time when arrogance dominated him and caused a mess.
*click* *clang*
Fourth chamber represented the time when friends abandoned him including the one closest, Serena.
*click* *clang*
Fifth chamber represented the time when all of his pride stripped away.
*click* *clang*
It was the sixth and final chamber, and the gun moved its position from the side of his head to his mouth. A promising fighter for a promising exit.
Everything that I’ve done was full of shit. From my eyes, to my mouth, to my ears, to my hands, and to brain, everything was flawed. I’ve lost everything, my friends, my credibility, my motivation, and everyone I leaned on. Everyone turned against me. Now everyone wants my head on the silver plate. Guess I need to ponder my existence. I was a mistake after all.
All I see is blue, so much blue that turned into gray. Pins and needles are on my spine slowly weakens me. It made me want to lay on the floor and sleep forever. Why do I keep living? Come to think of it, why do I have to end like this?
The population of this earth is still exploding at this rate. As it increases, the earth has gone deteriorated. And yet, I haven’t done my part to save it. Maybe, just maybe. If should be here in this world anymore. If I die, maybe I’ve did a favor for the world. After all, I have no future. Maybe I spent my internet to search for anything. A refuge to feel myself comfortable.
But despite all that, from the memes I could laugh, from the naked women I watched, from the dirty mindset I’ve put on, and from the drugs I’ve take. All of these could help me distract from the reality I’ve been through. Seems the hatred of the people and the grim reality of it all seems to be unescapable. It would probably the best if I just kill myself.
If I kill myself, everyone will be happy. Maybe, my parents shouldn’t suffer like this anymore. My mom would be okay and live in a comfortable way. So is my dad, I wouldn’t see me my stupidity anymore. My brother, well. As he finish his study, he can help my mom and my dad for a better life. I guess, the world would be better without me. No one is getting hurt because of me. No one is getting annoyed because of me. Also, the world is getting better when I soon be dead. I’m just a fucking dead weight.
I guess this is it.
It’s my final note to all of you. Thank you for tolerating my annoying presence. I love all you even you all hate me. Throw my corpse into the sea for I don’t deserve to have a good burial.
If you read this, you will know that I already kill myself.
*click*