Master My Piece Theater (688)
Dec 19, 2019 3:08:32 GMT -5
Derrick Vayden, Quixote Della Torre, and 3 more like this
Post by Bolas De Arana on Dec 19, 2019 3:08:32 GMT -5
{We open to a warm looking library and none other than Bolas de Arana sitting in his mask and the most horrendous ugly Christmas sweater you have ever seen. The words “Masterpiece Theater” appear and then disappear from the screen. Bolas raises a bibe to his mask, blows some bubbles and nods his head}
“Oh hello there. And welcome to Mastering-my-piece Theater. I am your gracious host, the man with the half assed plan, Bolas “Guess where I hang my Mistletoe” de Arana. Today we are reading a very special version of “The Twelve days of Cruiserweights”, patent pending.”
{Bolas grabs a comically large book from beside him and sets it in his lap and opens it up}
“On the first day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Kitty Petrova in a bikini.”
{Bolas looks at the camera}
“If this is a thing, I can stop right here. Imaging throwing her over the top, then her throwing her top. Its like a magical metaphor.”
{Bolas continues}
“And the second day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, A Raging Dead Defeat. Awe,how sweet of him. Because we can all feel good about that.”
“On the third day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Derrick Vayden getting a Floppy.”
{Bolas looks back to the camera}
“No. Just, no.”
{Back to the book}
“On the fourth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Q...D...T. Hashtag Mancrush.”
“On the fifth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, five eliminations! Seriously, that's my goal. Most of them at the end and none of them me. Because why would you want to eliminate your future Cruiserweight Champion! You wouldn’t, so there is that.”
“On the sixth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, a Hobo who is a laying….”
{Crickets are heard for a minute}
“I just don’t wanna know what he is laying. Nope nope nope.”
{Bolas returns to the book}
“On the seventh day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Geri Miller swimming in a bikini.”
{Bolas’s head snaps up}
“There is more bikinis! Thank you Papa Torture!”
{Back to the book, because what else is he going to do.}
“On the eighth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, The Cereal Man a milkin. What, like a cow? Why is he milking a cow? I mean, is he grabbing it straight from the tap or what?”
“On the ninth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Zombie drumming on Freddy. With a baseball bat. And a pipe. And something else for that fat bugger. Seriously, your not a cruiserweight. The only thing you cruise for is burgers. Funk is a correct term.”
“On the tenth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Nikki Vaughn dumping Karlie. Okay, we all know that will never happen, but thanks for looking out Papa.”
““On the eleventh day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Camilia Gonzalez pole dancing. I know she isn’t in this thing, but one can dream right?”
“On the twelfth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, a bunch of other cruiser I didn’t want to mention. Because frankly, they don’t matter to my story. And that is what this is. MY. STORY. Me. Action Wrestling's very own superhero. Or super jackass, your preference. The point of this is that I am walking into the rumble with my head held high, my suit on tight, and ready to kick, punch, flip, and do whatever else it takes to put people over the top rope. Because no one takes me seriously. No one expects anything from me. Ever.”
{Bolas closes the book and sets it down, then points Uncle Sam style at the camera}
“Well duck you. I’m winning this rumble. It is my victory to take. Until Sunday...toodles.”
{Bolas gives the two thumbs up as the camera fades to black}
“Oh hello there. And welcome to Mastering-my-piece Theater. I am your gracious host, the man with the half assed plan, Bolas “Guess where I hang my Mistletoe” de Arana. Today we are reading a very special version of “The Twelve days of Cruiserweights”, patent pending.”
{Bolas grabs a comically large book from beside him and sets it in his lap and opens it up}
“On the first day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Kitty Petrova in a bikini.”
{Bolas looks at the camera}
“If this is a thing, I can stop right here. Imaging throwing her over the top, then her throwing her top. Its like a magical metaphor.”
{Bolas continues}
“And the second day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, A Raging Dead Defeat. Awe,how sweet of him. Because we can all feel good about that.”
“On the third day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Derrick Vayden getting a Floppy.”
{Bolas looks back to the camera}
“No. Just, no.”
{Back to the book}
“On the fourth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Q...D...T. Hashtag Mancrush.”
“On the fifth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, five eliminations! Seriously, that's my goal. Most of them at the end and none of them me. Because why would you want to eliminate your future Cruiserweight Champion! You wouldn’t, so there is that.”
“On the sixth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, a Hobo who is a laying….”
{Crickets are heard for a minute}
“I just don’t wanna know what he is laying. Nope nope nope.”
{Bolas returns to the book}
“On the seventh day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Geri Miller swimming in a bikini.”
{Bolas’s head snaps up}
“There is more bikinis! Thank you Papa Torture!”
{Back to the book, because what else is he going to do.}
“On the eighth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, The Cereal Man a milkin. What, like a cow? Why is he milking a cow? I mean, is he grabbing it straight from the tap or what?”
“On the ninth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Zombie drumming on Freddy. With a baseball bat. And a pipe. And something else for that fat bugger. Seriously, your not a cruiserweight. The only thing you cruise for is burgers. Funk is a correct term.”
“On the tenth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Nikki Vaughn dumping Karlie. Okay, we all know that will never happen, but thanks for looking out Papa.”
““On the eleventh day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, Camilia Gonzalez pole dancing. I know she isn’t in this thing, but one can dream right?”
“On the twelfth day of Cruiserweights, Papa Torture gave to me, a bunch of other cruiser I didn’t want to mention. Because frankly, they don’t matter to my story. And that is what this is. MY. STORY. Me. Action Wrestling's very own superhero. Or super jackass, your preference. The point of this is that I am walking into the rumble with my head held high, my suit on tight, and ready to kick, punch, flip, and do whatever else it takes to put people over the top rope. Because no one takes me seriously. No one expects anything from me. Ever.”
{Bolas closes the book and sets it down, then points Uncle Sam style at the camera}
“Well duck you. I’m winning this rumble. It is my victory to take. Until Sunday...toodles.”
{Bolas gives the two thumbs up as the camera fades to black}
Will Bolas manage to win the Cruiserweight Rumble?
Or will he succumb to a case of dancing with himself?
And does he really think there will be bikinis?
All this and more when you stay tuned to Action Wrestling!
Or will he succumb to a case of dancing with himself?
And does he really think there will be bikinis?
All this and more when you stay tuned to Action Wrestling!