“How The iGnarly Stole Black XIIIAS II: Lost In The Midcard”
Dec 12, 2019 9:01:48 GMT -5
“The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley, Alex Richards, and 1 more like this
Post by "Dreamcatcher" Ariel Shadows on Dec 12, 2019 9:01:48 GMT -5
"Do we wanna watch Die Hard, Gremlins or Home Alone?" Ariel asked Wesley through her Android's speakerphone.
"How about Bad Santa?" he replied back, sounding like he was stoned. "It's a Christmas movie too, you know."
"We got all day, we can watch all four! Just hang on a few minutes, I'll be back from the store."
"Okay, Ariel, please be safe, and don't be late. I would really hate it if you decided to procrastinate."
Ariel hung up the phone, with a kiss and a "love you, cocksucker." He responded back with another pucker; only instead of cocksucker, he said "love you too, you crazy motherfucker."
She smiled and thanked her lucky stars, then remembered why she was there! She came for some candy bars!
"Okay, I need two 3 Musketeers, two Reese's cups....ooh, I haven't had one of these in years! Definitely gonna grab some of these up!"
Ms. Shadows felt brighter, even if she was one strap lighter. But that only made her cling to her AW Tag Team Championship tighter.
She paid for her things, said "Merry Christmas!" to the cashier. He responded with "Happy Holidays!" in politically correct corporate policy induced cheer.
Ariel thought nothing of it, didn't even think to make a scene. All she wanted to do was smoke some of this Blue Dream.
On the short drive back, her thoughts began to fade...into what lie ahead for her, and the choices she would have to make.
For some decisions are easy, and others are hard; some make everyone happy and others break their heart.
For Ariel had recently been contacted, but this was not the first...or the second, or even the third...but this may have been the worst.
This wasn't about Geri Miller, or Trapson doing another Thriller. And trust me, this part is anything but filler.
You see, it's no secret that Ariel's getting older. And while she's found herself at piece, her peers are getting bolder.
The business is not what it used to be, oh no...it's grown a lot since she debuted 13 years ago.
But even if the business hadn't changed a bit, Ariel was eventually gonna get tired of this shit.
She was trained to kill a man, with only her bare hands; growing up in a monastery in faraway lands.
Professional wrestling was nothing but politics! Talent meant nothing to these selfish pricks!
"IT'S ALL JUST A BUNCH OF DUDES SHAKING THEIR DICKS!" Ariel screamed out from behind the wheel. "FUCK THIS!"
Ariel knew she was angry, but also knew the price of releasing that anger in the form of snatching out someone's eyes.
She refused to do it for sport. She only wanted to use her skills for protection and support.
The Dreamcatcher was finally living her dream, it seems. But she's beginning to wonder just what that means.
That's why the message she received three days ago will still burn in her mind everywhere she will go. u
Tomorrow is XIII! It's Bloodsport, the home game! You can rip a man's nuts off and not even have to know his name!
'Who the fuck is Power Word: Kill? Why the fuck should I care?' Ariel thought to herself, her face as red as her hair.
'On second thought, maybe this is exactly what I need! This is what I was trained for, to break bones and make opponents bleed.
If there ever was a night that was tailor-made for me, and best suited to my ability...it would have to be XIII!'
Ariel had a change of heart! Ariel had new power in her soul! She had Wesley! The titles! Geri! S L I M B O I! ARIEL WAS WHOLE!
XIII was her Christmas gift from the booking fleet! She didn't need chairs, tables, ladders...nothing but her hands and feet!
Now she could truly do everything she was taught! She could yank out someone's windpipe, or tie their arms and legs into a knot.
No rules! No mercy! No fucks given, just win! Ariel smiled once more, pulling up to the Red Roof Inn.
Jumping out the Jeep with glee, Ariel grabbed the bags of candy so careless and free!
She reached the door and opened it with her room key...
"HEY BABY!"
"HEY BABE!"
"CLICKCHIRPCLICK!"
Ariel threw the bags onto the bed.
"Hey loves....hey Geri, where's Derrick?"