Post by Psychopomp on Dec 6, 2019 23:33:19 GMT -5
(Back at the old Brotherhood camp Pomp just finished cleaning his old yoga studio. Lots of memories in this place, a simpler time.
After throwing the last of compost in the bins he walks back into the main house. Waiting for him was a crisp and warm fax copy of next week's show. Pomp rapidly skips over to see if he's on the card.
After throwing the last of compost in the bins he walks back into the main house. Waiting for him was a crisp and warm fax copy of next week's show. Pomp rapidly skips over to see if he's on the card.
He quickly runs back to his room, put some clothes on and starts his video recorder)
YES! MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY! Finally Pomp is back in action for another edition of the Monday Night Clash! My time here as been short but I can already tell that I’m going to like it. It seems like everyday there’s new people that shows up at the gym and look at me funny for doing my snatch exercises naked. And this week I’m getting two of them! Now I don’t know much about them but i know how to read a scale!
Did the pilot eat too many Graham crackers before his weight in? Does he not know how the flourishing Cruiserweight division works?! 2-0-1 pounds, you stupid Baker. Were you stupid enough to go in the wrong door when you went in Headquarters in Vegas? Did you stop at the all you can eat buffet at the Flamingo before walking in on what I can only imagined was a dare after spending all your money at the slots and kept drinking Mojitos until they cut you off because you were already so trashed at 10am, even by Vegas’s standards? Even you’re overweight carcass won’t get you a victory here.
Did the pilot eat too many Graham crackers before his weight in? Does he not know how the flourishing Cruiserweight division works?! 2-0-1 pounds, you stupid Baker. Were you stupid enough to go in the wrong door when you went in Headquarters in Vegas? Did you stop at the all you can eat buffet at the Flamingo before walking in on what I can only imagined was a dare after spending all your money at the slots and kept drinking Mojitos until they cut you off because you were already so trashed at 10am, even by Vegas’s standards? Even you’re overweight carcass won’t get you a victory here.
The officials probably took pity on you when you vomited on that poor nurse during your check-up, I know I asked her. Don’t deny it. She’d never seen so many whole shrimps in her life. It was like you just chugged them down like a big, fat, drunk bird. You better not spew all over me or my partner Kitty on Monday! See I might forgive you but she’s a real mean bitch and I can’t even describe what she would do to you if you ever get even some of that stuff in her hair.
I’d wish you good luck in your future endeavors but I doubt you’ll have any success here unless The Boss decided to make an exception for you in the division. Like an asterix at the end of the guidelines, written for those who can read, unlike you, ‘Just let Graham Baker run around in the ring a bit, he’s special.’ Since you can’t read maybe your partner Dylan can explain it to you with sock puppets.
I’d wish you good luck in your future endeavors but I doubt you’ll have any success here unless The Boss decided to make an exception for you in the division. Like an asterix at the end of the guidelines, written for those who can read, unlike you, ‘Just let Graham Baker run around in the ring a bit, he’s special.’ Since you can’t read maybe your partner Dylan can explain it to you with sock puppets.
At least you have a fictional Doctor helping you this week. It takes a real unoriginal Brit to give himself the family name of one of the most famous villain mastermind in the history of literature! He, in comparison to his partner, even with a fake PhD was able to read the weight limit of the division. Both of them wants the same things! Fame, fortune, for Flop to film their porn tape with each other. And I think that it's quite elementary on which one you will succeed at. I don't require the detective skills of the brilliant words of Sir. Arthur Conan Doyle or the help of my amazing ass kicking MS. Watson in Kitty Petrova!
No, it's easy to see, Monday one of you will be on your back for the one, two, three.
Now if you excuse me, there's still a lot of work to be done around here. Carl's room is still filled with unwrapped candy wrappers and I have to fight off rats that would give a decent fight to the Mandolorian!... I wish Kidd was still around, I miss him…
(Pomp slowly gets up and turns off the camera)