|
Post by VOSS HOLT on Nov 29, 2019 18:59:39 GMT -5
I wasn't going to touch this, no way. Shadowlove has a silver tongue dripping with venom.
Then I went and smoked a bowl.
Fuck my shit up, my guy.
|
|
|
Post by Shadowlove on Nov 29, 2019 19:08:58 GMT -5
Would be great if you could give me any feedback from my first 2 RPs. I’m like a sponge at the minute trying to soak up as much knowledge as possible to make myself better. I thought your role-plays were very good introductory role-plays introducing James Harrison to AW and how and why he’s taking on the Nightingale name for his wrestling persona. I have a bad feeling that goodness of Florence Nightingale is definitely going to be corrupted by James Harrison in a good way. I’m looking forward to seeing how James Nightingale unleashes his dark, sadistic corruption on the power and authority of AW.
Being away from the game of 18 years hasn’t hurt your writing style, it looks to me that you know your character and understand the motivations behind your character. Your character’s shoot will have to be stronger but that will come over time. The main thing with the lower word count is finding that right blend of character development and character shoot. With a lower word count, shoot is just a tad more important than character development.
Other than that, you’re doing a good job.
|
|
|
Post by James Nightingale on Nov 29, 2019 19:23:17 GMT -5
Would be great if you could give me any feedback from my first 2 RPs. I’m like a sponge at the minute trying to soak up as much knowledge as possible to make myself better. I thought your role-plays were very good introductory role-plays introducing James Harrison to AW and how and why he’s taking on the Nightingale name for his wrestling persona. I have a bad feeling that goodness of Florence Nightingale is definitely going to be corrupted by James Harrison in a good way. I’m looking forward to seeing how James Nightingale unleashes his dark, sadistic corruption on the power and authority of AW.
Being away from the game of 18 years hasn’t hurt your writing style, it looks to me that you know your character and understand the motivations behind your character. Your character’s shoot will have to be stronger but that will come over time. The main thing with the lower word count is finding that right blend of character development and character shoot. With a lower word count, shoot is just a tad more important than character development.
Other than that, you’re doing a good job. Thank you for reading my stuff and for the kind words. I definitely feel like I’ve adjusted back into the swing of things quicker than I expected I would. I think I struggled with structure a bit on these 2, going heavy on CD and the shoot was more of an afterthought as I wanted to tell his story but have taken on some advice from FPV in how to structure them better so will be allowing myself more word count to shoot. I have now got the bulk of the origins stuff out the way so now I will interweaving my CD more into my shoots which will hopefully improve them overall. I’m really excited for my next RP to see how well I use all the advice I’ve got :-)
|
|
|
Post by Shadowlove on Nov 29, 2019 19:25:25 GMT -5
I wasn't going to touch this, no way. Shadowlove has a silver tongue dripping with venom. Then I went and smoked a bowl. Fuck my shit up, my guy. You won me over with the Bruiser Brody pic-base. You’re 4-0 and the current TV Champion, that says it all about Voss Holt. I’m smart enough, not to fuck up a good thing. You could be the longest reigning TV Champion in AW if you want to be, you’re just that good in the TV Championship division. But like I said that the Hardcore Championship is holding back Corey Black, there will come a time when the TV Championship will start holding back Voss Holt. I’m look forward to seeing what Voss Holt will do with a bigger word count.
|
|
|
Post by Shadowlove on Nov 29, 2019 19:38:25 GMT -5
I thought your role-plays were very good introductory role-plays introducing James Harrison to AW and how and why he’s taking on the Nightingale name for his wrestling persona. I have a bad feeling that goodness of Florence Nightingale is definitely going to be corrupted by James Harrison in a good way. I’m looking forward to seeing how James Nightingale unleashes his dark, sadistic corruption on the power and authority of AW.
Being away from the game of 18 years hasn’t hurt your writing style, it looks to me that you know your character and understand the motivations behind your character. Your character’s shoot will have to be stronger but that will come over time. The main thing with the lower word count is finding that right blend of character development and character shoot. With a lower word count, shoot is just a tad more important than character development.
Other than that, you’re doing a good job. Thank you for reading my stuff and for the kind words. I definitely feel like I’ve adjusted back into the swing of things quicker than I expected I would. I think I struggled with structure a bit on these 2, going heavy on CD and the shoot was more of an afterthought as I wanted to tell his story but have taken on some advice from FPV in how to structure them better so will be allowing myself more word count to shoot. I have now got the bulk of the origins stuff out the way so now I will interweaving my CD more into my shoots which will hopefully improve them overall. I’m really excited for my next RP to see how well I use all the advice I’ve got :-) Just remember that you don’t have to reveal your James Nightingale origin story right away, that sort of happens when you’re a new character in a new organization. People want to get that out of the way quickly. The reader will learn Nightingale’s origins over time. We all struggle with structure but like everyone else, you’ll figure that out soon enough with the more you write. Keep being excited and keep having fun.
|
|