Jacqui M
Professional Wrestler
Posts: 40
|
Post by Jacqui M on Nov 23, 2019 20:46:09 GMT -5
Let's see if i can beat the previous highest number of replies - the record currently stands at 0 every time I tried...
|
|
|
Post by Shadowlove on Nov 25, 2019 17:35:59 GMT -5
I wanted to wait until after the Turmoil results to give you an opinion. I thought it was a nice mix of origin story with match relevance. You might be more comfortable with a lower word count but you did good overall in this U.S. title match my opinion. I’m looking forward to seeing more of Jacqui’s story going forward.
|
|
|
Post by “The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley on Nov 25, 2019 17:48:28 GMT -5
I’m a sucker for a time skip.
That being said, you didn’t really tear into your opponents as much as you could have. For a championship level promo it just wasn’t up to par with what everyone else brought to the table.
To be fair, you had a very unique challenge of introducing a character that isn’t necessarily new but is very new to a lot of us. In that vain, the promo killed. I feel like I’ve known TAB for years now but this was your first promo in Action Wrestling.
Character work? Fantastic!
Shoot? Needed more meat.
This is something that will come with time in AW once you get to know everyone in the playing field and develop history with them!
Welcome to the fed!
|
|
Jacqui M
Professional Wrestler
Posts: 40
|
Post by Jacqui M on Nov 25, 2019 18:43:59 GMT -5
That being said, you didn’t really tear into your opponents as much as you could have. For a championship level promo it just wasn’t up to par with what everyone else brought to the table. Yes, of course this was the issue I am literally incapable of shooting. To me, what I wrote was fire. Usually my shoots are WORSE than that. Any success I've had was off CD. I literally can't do the 12-year-old playground fight insult-slinging stuff Nine years later, and I'm still losing big matches for the same reason I've always lost big matches - because I can't do the only thing that matters in this game.
|
|
|
Post by “The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley on Nov 25, 2019 19:09:41 GMT -5
That being said, you didn’t really tear into your opponents as much as you could have. For a championship level promo it just wasn’t up to par with what everyone else brought to the table. Yes, of course this was the issue I am literally incapable of shooting. To me, what I wrote was fire. Usually my shoots are WORSE than that. Any success I've had was off CD. I literally can't do the 12-year-old playground fight insult-slinging stuff Nine years later, and I'm still losing big matches for the same reason I've always lost big matches - because I can't do the only thing that matters in this game. The trick isn’t to necessarily hurl any insult at your opponent. You can have zingers or whatever but just every other part of the game, you want what you say in the shoot to come directly from your character. I think with yours, the theme started off extremely strong. “The unknown person, the X factor in the match”. If it were me, something I would have thought about doing is introducing each opponent to a facet of yourself and then let them know you’re going to introduce them to your fuckin’ fists and DDTs, or whatever. Just think about the theme you’re going in with and then tell your opponents exactly what they can expect at the PPV. The main thing you want is confidence, that what your character is saying they believe absolutely 100% without a doubt that that’s what’s going to happen. I know I got to your feedback thread a little late, but if you ever need help expanding on your shoot or anything, my PMs are always open to help! I wish I could but I probably won’t catch every feedback thread that gets posted.
|
|
|
Post by “The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley on Nov 25, 2019 19:11:56 GMT -5
Another thing I would suggest is read the top guys stuff in AW. See what they’re doing, how they might be thinking. You never know what can inspire you and show you what you might be missing.
Devastating shooters list:
- Walter - Odin Balfore - Alex Pasternak - Ryan Lockhart
|
|
|
Post by Shadowlove on Nov 25, 2019 19:22:02 GMT -5
Another thing I would suggest is read the top guys stuff in AW. See what they’re doing, how they might be thinking. You never know what can inspire you and show you what you might be missing. Devastating shooters list: - Walter - Odin Balfore - Alex Pasternak - Ryan Lockhart And that Shadowlove guy isn’t half bad when it comes to shoot too lol
|
|