MΣGΛL♢VΛNIΛ
Sept 11, 2019 19:14:46 GMT -5
Spencer Adams, “The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley, and 5 more like this
Post by Joey Flash on Sept 11, 2019 19:14:46 GMT -5
ACTION WRESTLING: JOEY FLASH CRIB SHEET v2.3
58-5
3x World Champion
1x Television Champion
1x Tag Team Champion
1x Trios Champion
9x OTY Winner
2016 War, Hellimination Winner
Undefeated in 2016, 2017
Incumbent seasoned fan champion and reigning no sell champion emeritus
1x Children killed by cosmic entity possessing legendary wrestler
1x Times flashbang grenaded and then urinated on by deranged bald ex-soldier
1x Times Joey Flash put deli meat on his face in later segment against same soldier
1x Had wife raped in home invasion by masked mongoloid doing the Nae Nae
1x Raped by Lilith in backstage closet
1x Head of the New York branch of the Allegri family Cosa Nosta
1x Had dead father figure resurrected by suave, shades wearing voodoo man before having him sent back to the grave courtesy of voodoo man
1x Hilariously lost Television title to gurning shades wearing biker with multiple personality disorder
1x Cashed in on and defeated for World Title by known sexual offender
1x Obsessively stalked by sociopathic trust fund baby who dressed up in a shark mask on weekends
6x Beat the shit out Gemini Battle
6x Was sick to fucking death of facing Gemini Battle.
10x Abducted by aliens and experimented on for the Jalaxaritkatusian Salvation Project.
1x Fat shamed Wade Moor into bodybag loss
1x #BeachKrew genocidist
1x Jalaxaritkatusian xenocidist
1x Best wrestler in the fucking world.
1x Not even treating this as a list anymore.
1x How is everyone doing? I hope your day goes well.
1x #FeelTheBern
1x President of Yung Adam fanclub.
50x Masturbated over Jayson Price leaked penis picture.
1x Going to kick the ever loving mother of fuck out Ryan Lockhart.
58-5
3x World Champion
1x Television Champion
1x Tag Team Champion
1x Trios Champion
9x OTY Winner
2016 War, Hellimination Winner
Undefeated in 2016, 2017
Incumbent seasoned fan champion and reigning no sell champion emeritus
1x Children killed by cosmic entity possessing legendary wrestler
1x Times flashbang grenaded and then urinated on by deranged bald ex-soldier
1x Times Joey Flash put deli meat on his face in later segment against same soldier
1x Had wife raped in home invasion by masked mongoloid doing the Nae Nae
1x Raped by Lilith in backstage closet
1x Head of the New York branch of the Allegri family Cosa Nosta
1x Had dead father figure resurrected by suave, shades wearing voodoo man before having him sent back to the grave courtesy of voodoo man
1x Hilariously lost Television title to gurning shades wearing biker with multiple personality disorder
1x Cashed in on and defeated for World Title by known sexual offender
1x Obsessively stalked by sociopathic trust fund baby who dressed up in a shark mask on weekends
6x Beat the shit out Gemini Battle
6x Was sick to fucking death of facing Gemini Battle.
10x Abducted by aliens and experimented on for the Jalaxaritkatusian Salvation Project.
1x Fat shamed Wade Moor into bodybag loss
1x #BeachKrew genocidist
1x Jalaxaritkatusian xenocidist
1x Best wrestler in the fucking world.
1x Not even treating this as a list anymore.
1x How is everyone doing? I hope your day goes well.
1x #FeelTheBern
1x President of Yung Adam fanclub.
50x Masturbated over Jayson Price leaked penis picture.
1x Going to kick the ever loving mother of fuck out Ryan Lockhart.
You are the next Flash
That is how they all hype you
But you were lied to.
- a J. Malignaggi haiku (2019)
The Dark Room (Arcadia Bay Redux)
A dark room. A single spotlight illuminates a figure against a white background. The man’s raven coloured hair falls across the shoulders of his charcoal Brioni Vanquish suit jacket, his hands sat in the matching pants pockets with the look finished off with tan Santoni loafers. The man raises his hands and a pearlescent Cheshire Cat smile creeps to the corners of his Roman face. He begins to speak.
“Corey Black hit me up and asked me if I would be interested in finally making my return to the professional wrestling ring after such a long time. I straight up said to the man: I am retired. I was done with this sport, I’ve given my everything to it and it has taken everything from me. I’m finally in a good place physically, mentally and emotionally. I’ve won everything, I’ve beaten everyone. What’s left for me? There was only one thing I wanted, one thing I wanted Corey to give me."
"See, during my career I hunted down those that came before, people threw comparisons my way as I ascended the ladder yet one stuck more than any other. ‘The next Jonny Fly’; I was barely out of double digit wins and this was always my cross to bare. I knew then that this was a body I had to have on my resume; I watched film, I studied tape and I grew more and more angry. THIS was what they compare me to? This slow, slovenly, slouch of a fucking athlete? Make the match Seth you clown, give me the body I want and let me grind the legend into dust and finally eclipse that shadow with my own divine luminescence. That day never came, I harried, I begged and pleaded and you wanna know what happened the only time I shared a ring with Jonny Fly?"
We won the Tag Team Titles. Pathetic.
"I told myself ‘If I were Jonny Fly and someone is ever compared to me, goes on a long, legacy carving streak and constantly keeps telling people how badly they would beat me I would never, ever shirk that challenge.’ I didn’t think it would ever happen in truth and yet the whispers started, they became an insidious muttering in my mind and then a perpetual primal wail. There was just such a man, a godlike wrestling performer nigh on unbeatable who was breaking record after record all the while the name ‘Joey Flash’ left his lips every other week. Jonny Fly is gone. Now there is only one name left."
"When Corey Black whispered ‘Ryan Lockhart’ I could feel my heart begin to radiate excitement with every thrum, I felt my dick stiffen and my right hand become the Arthur meme."
"Thank you Corey. You have your main event, you have your five million pay per view buys. Torture and Gravedigger can sit ringside and politely clap with the rest of the audience as they watch the two best wrestlers of their respective generations step into the ring across from each other and await a predestined outcome. This is a scene that needs no words. The legendary wrestler from the dog days of Wrestling Championship Federation stepping back in the ring to take on the challenge of Mr Action Wrestling, we reach our hands out to begin the match and the headlines are starting to be written for this image already."
‘Passing of the torch, Lockhart defeats Flash in epic’
That’s the script for this match, that’s the way this match is supposed to go. It’s poetic really, you finally get the same shot I was clamouring for in the past; you finally hold the torch up and my shadow just dissipates into the ether as you step over my legacy to forge your own in the sport.”
The Cheshire Cat smile turns serpentine as the Italian’s steely eyes narrow.
“See that’s the thing about Joey Flash, Ryan. The script doesn’t mean a fuckin’ thing to me. I’m not here to pander to how you have been dreaming of this match, your Malignaggi kink is not going to get its happy ending. This is not the match where I pass you the torch, this is the match where I set your fucking face on fire with it.”
Watch the Skies
A storm was coming. The dark clouds swirled over the rooftop garden of La Societa as Joseph Malignaggi gazed across the cityscape below. In the garden around him, the last droplets of colour of the floral backdrop find themselves succumbing to the dark grasp of autumnal cyclical demise. It had been weeks, nay, months since he had even so much as stepped through the door of his now thriving club; La Societa was now a twentysomething influencer paradise, he could almost smell the pumpkin spice aroma as he walked through the doors. Glancing around his garden it made his chest tighten and stomach knot with a hollow sadness. It was as if the club itself had imbibed the mental state of its owner, the bloom and happiness had given way to the cold reality of death.
For all of the legends of the sport Joey Flash has had stepped into the ring with and defeated, all the accolades and all of the adulation - this was the first time in his career he was heading to a singles match as the betting underdog.
Ryan Lockhart 4/6
Joey Flash 5/4
Draw 20/1
Joey Flash 5/4
Draw 20/1
The current landscape of the wrestling world as it was, the domination of Lockhart and the modern wrestling fan’s obsession with the immediacy it was to be expected really. At twenty-seven years old Joey Flash was a washed up relic who had turned from irreverent to irrelevant. It was to be Joey’s first step through the ropes in Action Wrestling and the face of the franchise was to stand opposite him. This was the feeling, this - right here - was the feeling he had been waiting for. A challenge? No, this match was more than that. This wasn’t Joey’s ring. This wasn’t Joey’s company. This is Ryan Lockhart’s world and for the first time since facing off in Madison Square Garden with Dune - Joey Flash was the challenger.
Challenger.
Underdog.
He closed his eyes and felt a smile begin to cross his lips, then the heavens opened.
A crack of thunder so powerful it felt like the sky itself was ripping asunder bellowed across the sky, Joey opened his eyes at the exact moment a fork of lighting lit the sky up like a thousand ‘Happy New Year’ firework displays. The New York skyline was alight with electricity; Joey held his arms out and looked skyward as the droplets began to pound down upon him. Within a matter of seconds Joey was soaked through to the skin, but to him in this moment it didn’t matter at all. This was beautiful. The cool, hard droplets of rain were refreshing, revitalising. He held his arms out and embraced the storm as another thunderclap rang out; he stood like the statue of Christ above Rio de Janeiro looking down at his city.
A quiet, dulcet Sicicilian voice spoke from behind him as he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“You look cold”.
His wife of three years and long time partner, Alessandra Malignaggi raised her umbrella above their heads as he felt her curves press against him. She was as pristine as he was uncouth, not a hair out of place on the dusky beauty. With her tan fur coat swirling around her figure and patent Blahniks and him in grey tracksuit they looked every bit like Belle stepping on the dancefloor with the Prince cum bestial recluse.
Joey: How did you know I was he-
Alessandra: You always do this, every single time you sign a contract for that hideous bearded man you retreat into yourself and I have to drag what you’re thinking out of you. It’s starting to annoy me.
Joey: Oh really? And what, you’re here to scald for me agreeing to compete again before empowering me to victory?
Alessandra: Look at the big brain on Joseph. Okay, since we are playing this game. Let me guess: you’re stood up here on the roof in that ridiculous hooded outfit playing up your fallen messiah complex - and don’t think I didn’t see you checking the weather forecast so you would be out here at the EXACT time it was due for a downpour to add to your little metaphorical musings.
Flash looks sheepishly away with a gulp.
Alessandra: You’re worried and struggling with the fact that you aren’t relevant anymore. You think that none of the new breed of fans know or care about seeing you compete anymore. You’re worried that your own hype machine preceding you is going to make people who’ve never seen you wrestle before have a great big ruined orgasm when they finally see ‘The Best Wrestler in History’. You’re worried that Ryan Lockhart might actually have the fire, skill and talent to do what you never could to Jonny Fly. Could it be, that the great Joey Flash is actually scared of losing?
Joseph ruminated for a moment as the metronomic beating of the rain hammered the umbrella.
Joey: No that’s not it. That’s not it at all. No one in years has turned my skin to gooseflesh just thinking about that opening bell, no one in years has had me training with the ferocity that has Enzo shoving his hands in an ice bucket after every single punch. No one in years has made me this angry simply by mentioning my fucking name.
Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mary.
Alessandra Malignaggi, girl.
He turned and grasped her by the shoulders, his fingers constricting - tighter and tighter with every syllable that passed his lips.
Joey: No one in years has made me want a body this...fucking...bad.
A look came over his face at that moment that she had seen only a handful of times in her life. It still made her womanhood tingle.
Joey: I am scared Al, I am worried Al.
Joey: I am terrified of how badly I am going to destroy this man.
A pause.
Joey: No, that was a lie.
A smile.
Joey: I’m going to enjoy every fucking second.
GOAT
The single spotlight, the white background, the man in the charcoal suit. Joey Flash begins to speak.
Joey: Hey there Action Wrestling, how we all doing today? We all good? We all ready for this Flash vs Lockhart joint? I’m pretty stoked for this if I’m honest. Ryan is a fantastic competitor and legitimately one of the best wrestlers I’ve even step between the ropes. Almost unparalleled, the man holds an imperious record and currently breathes rarified air only gulped by the true greats of this great sport. This is Magic and Bird. This is Ali and Frazier. This match is going to break every pay per view record in the history of professional wrestling. I can’t wait to…
Flash pauses for a moment and a smile crosses his face.
Joey: Did you really think I was going to come into this match with bullshit like this? Ain’t gonna be any more of that happy clapping, Rob Schneider ‘You can do it!’, mediocrity enabling Action Wrestling ‘build em up shit’. I am Joey fuckin’ Flash - and I’m on that whole other shit.
Ryan Lockhart, your whole fucking demeanour bothers me, a hopeless mediocrity with nigh on no redeeming qualities. First things first: suck my dick you fucking spasticated clone, you think I’m coming into this with any form of respect for you - you can dead that right now. I’ve been watching you for about a month now since I started to hear the clamouring for this match grow and grow and all I saw every single week was a paper champion with so many holes it would make Switzerland’s coagulated dairy industry jealous. I could barely believe my eyes when I saw this is the man who is being compared to me. 36-3? Fuck the thirty six idiots who are unable to even peel the first layer away from this already razor thin stale and rotting onion.
So bring everything you have, I’ll lay the gauntlet down for you here. Come at me. Even if you destroy me, violate me, straight up fucking trash me here - what exactly are you killing? What exactly you ending? My wrestling career that’s been over for the past two years?
Joey grins and shrugs his shoulders.
Joey: I pioneered a whole style of wrestling from promo work through to in ring qualities, I fathered a whole generation - this whole top tier style that still exists in Action Wrestling owes a debt of gratitude to me. How does it feel now that Daddy is finally spending some quality time with you Ryan? Jay-Z shit, I gave you The Blueprint for success and here we are and you’re dropping Blueprint 3 and ain’t shit different. You don’t innovate, you don’t progress, you don’t step outside of the box...funny - the first time in your fuckin’ career you tried stepping outside the box, Dandy put you in one.
You’re a quadruple A pitcher masquerading as an ace. 100mph heater, 100mph heater...oh what’s this: OH 100mph heater on the outside corner! Ain't nothing else coming from the vapid void of a vat this is Ryan Lockhart's creativity. You amaze as these people watch you wrestle and seal clap because they don’t know any different. You’re the best in Action Wrestling, that’s what the fans are told, so that’s all they know. I know different Ryan. Never once have I ever watched you and thought ‘boy that was something special’ or ‘I’ve never seen anything like this before’. Nah not from you champ. Mr Action Wrestling, Mr Rudimentary Copypasta Style. What are we going to get from you this, the biggest match of your life? Melancholic whining about how you got your ass beat, comparables to Joey - you never had a Grime moment did you eh champ?! You original little tyke you, some supbar indecisive uninsightful attempt at character assassination while trying to meekly posit yourself as superior. It’s fucking pathetic. Ryan, YOU are fucking pathetic.
I should be feeling sorry for you, maybe you were put in this position because you’re an inoffensive pretty boy Bostonian who hits the teenage girl and soundcloud rap fan demographics and is just good enough to scrape by the subpar competition in the ring. But boy has this given you a fuckin’ ego. To think that this is a match you could even so much as compete alone let alone win? It’s borderline embarrassing. What did you think was going to happen here? Hey everybody watching, this is what happens when the inferior copy goes against the original. Now bend the fucking knee.
POP QUIZ:
Do you suffer from depression?
Do you suffer from anxiety?
Do you suffer from intense self doubt?
Do you have struggles with addiction?
Do you have narcissistic personality disorder?
Do these come from traumatic experiences in childhood?
Are you regarded as a ‘prodigy’ and an elite professional wrestling savant?
Do you have unparalleled success in your company?
Do you have a hidden ‘power’ within that you use out of desperation or to assert dominance?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to all of the above congratulations: You are Joey Flash! Or you are a complete rip off reskin of the most successful wrestler ever trying to pull the wool by twatting around in your Groucho glasses and trying to sell wolf tickets.
Well, you silly little bitch - I want ALL of them.
Do you suffer from depression?
Do you suffer from anxiety?
Do you suffer from intense self doubt?
Do you have struggles with addiction?
Do you have narcissistic personality disorder?
Do these come from traumatic experiences in childhood?
Are you regarded as a ‘prodigy’ and an elite professional wrestling savant?
Do you have unparalleled success in your company?
Do you have a hidden ‘power’ within that you use out of desperation or to assert dominance?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to all of the above congratulations: You are Joey Flash! Or you are a complete rip off reskin of the most successful wrestler ever trying to pull the wool by twatting around in your Groucho glasses and trying to sell wolf tickets.
Well, you silly little bitch - I want ALL of them.
Joey: I swear, for the past year I’ve been checking my balls because they’ve been feeling a little heavier lately. Never once did I find a lump but damn now I can tell it’s because I’ve had you swinging on them to try to get a leg up in your career. You fuckin’ geek. Every time I watch you talk, it’s ‘Joey’ this and ‘Joey’ that. I’m so happy I’ve never been to a social event with you. Everytime I would go to the refrigerator, you’d suddenly be in the kitchen; when I'd be at the sink you’d be there doing dishes, I'd go to the bathroom and suddenly you’re next to me pissing.
I ain’t embarrassed about this shit, this is completely on you. You should feel ridiculous at this point. I mean, I watch your shit and I don’t know whether to keep watching like I’m roadside at a car wreck or just turn the cringe straight the fuck off. Am I being too harsh? At the end of the day Ryan, I don’t think you’re a bad guy. You try to sell the audience a persona but that’s not you. You don’t do anything out of malice or hate, you do it out of necessity to win. That is a trait you can’t steal, borrow or mimic - that’s all you. You fight to give your family the best in the world and drag them out of the shadow your family name carries. It’s admirable, really. I fight for the same reason, I fight for my family - I wrestled to give them a new life. If anyone got in the way of that, I was willing to do life.
You watching this Torture? I can be nice, I can do the build up shit after all. It’s cathartic...SIKE - fuck that shit. Now it’s about time for you to watch over your cash cow and cry over the corpse, give Gravedigger a hug and scream ‘LOOK HOW HE MASSACRED MY BOY’ as he reminds you of the PPV revenue and whispers back ‘...but that was a pretty damn prestigious beatdown’.
I’m having a little a conundrum Ryan, maybe you can help me here: How do I break down a personality that doesn’t come from you?
A sprinkle of Flash, a dash of Sanchez, a pinch of Singh and a dollop of Zione Redington sized shit - stick that in a blender and we have this amalgamated golem of a wrestler. That’s not even the worst of it though. The fact that you thought #BeachKrew was a good idea to bring back with you, fatty, a polak and two non-competitors made me want to facepalm my brain outta my fuckin’ head. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, dominant all conquering Ryan Lockhart - intelligent, well spoken and debonair was suddenly screaming VOLKSWAGGIN and BEACHBODIED. You constantly take on the traits of whoever the fuck is in front of you.
You’re with RJ Collins, you’re stuffing your face at the buffet.
You talk to Dandy, you’re talking about your weed charge.
You respond to max masked, you’re acting like a retard.
Put you in a hall of mirrors you’re short of breath and panicky looking at all of your reflections and whispering ‘I don’t know who we are’. See, at the end of the day - I’m Joseph Malignaggi. I don’t act or bullshit about who I am or what I’ve done. I am who I am - you are who you hang around with. We should call you Gilderoy Lockhart, a lying narcissist who changes the narrative to fit whatever suits him at the time.
When I stepped away from the ring it was handshakes, big smiles, a hefty pension and a gold watch. When you make your BIG SAD ANNOUNCEMENT of your retirement all you will get is a pink slip and a cardboard box. What’s your legacy? You win matches. That’s all, you haven’t innovated, led or transformed a company; you adapted to your environment - I made the environment adapt to me.
Speaking of: you are not, and will never be HASHTAGBEACHKREW - you’re a coat-tail rider who just grows popularity and success by osmosis. No, you’re not even smart enough for that. You couldn’t even do this right. Pantheon, Imperium - both my shit to exert control and dominance over my peers. I used the veil of friendship and the extended hand of friendship to veil the executioner's blade in the other hand. You used #BeachKrew to be carried away by a wave of self wankery and bullshit. You just sat there and played happy families all the while the two blemishes on your professional record was sitting inches away taunting you with their very presence - the sickening thing was you never used the position to do what I was almost screaming at the television for: DESTROY WADE MOOR.
You know, that thing I did with just fat jokes?
Joey grins once more and reclines against the wall.
Joey: This is the crux of you Ryan: you’re a cowardly little wretch of a wrestler. The similarities we share superficially disappear when we get to the crux of things, when we get to backbone and the heart of a champion - you are nowhere to be found. The biggest match in Action Wrestling was at your fingertips and you just smiled and shook hands, one piece of advice I can give to you free of charge:
Don’t you ever be in the ring with him again unless your heart is steel and your mind is singular minded. I made that mistake with Fly and I regret it even now, at the end of the day though that’s on you. Will you even be able to bounce back after losing your first match in almost a year?
Press X to Doubt.
X.
Joey: You’re not even so much as trying to get your win back, where is the passion and the drive? Where is the champions heart? The second Logan snuck me for my Title I was incessant in trying to get that shit back, I was about to walk through hell to take that man’s fucking head...then Mexico happened. You haven’t so much as intimated that you want vengeance. You’ve posted like five nonsensical twitter posts about how fucking sad you are. Like...I’m lost for words. I don’t know how to react. Either you’re the shittest troll since Katherine Phoenix or you’re legitimately the biggest weak ass twat I’ve ever had the displeasure of having in my presence.
You see the difference between us yet Action Wrestling fans?
Ryan Lockhart promos give you that: ‘Oh that’s pretty cool I think I get it’ face.
Joey Flash promos give you that: ‘UGGGHHH I JUST SHITTED’ face.
Ryan Lockhart grades out as a B+ floor with an AA ceiling.
Joey Flash grades out as an S floor with an SSS ceiling.
As I said, even at this - the highest level of the game there are levels to this shit. It’s about now that you’re starting to realise that this whole match for you is cement shoes disguised as a stepping stone. Once we lock up in the ring only then will you finally realise the grandiose mistake you made
This match was decided the moment my ink began to dry on this contract. In truth Ryan, this whole thing was a fallacy and a delusion that you have been preaching for months. I’m sure you know deep down in your heart how this match is going to go, I mean of course you do. You’re a big enough wrestling fan to understand what it is you are up against. Ryan Lockhart is an exceptional professional wrestler, his form and technique is outstanding - this I can admit. His intangibles are...questionable but he can grow into them. He’s going to be a good figurehead for you guys here in Action Wrestling. These things are not in doubt. His problem is the fact that he is going against the single greatest talent that has ever stepped foot into a squared circle. I feel almost bad for what I’m going to do to you Ryan. You’re great, you just picked the wrong fucking fight.
Styles make fights right? Well in this fight it’s Joey Flash vs Joey Flash-lite. There is only one outcome and only winner. What can you bring to me that I haven’t already seen and already beaten? Your one chance in this match was me taking you light and being rusty - and well, shucks...ain’t neither of those happening. You’re getting both barrels straight to the fucking chest and I don’t see a single speck of rust. How does it feel Ryan? That for the first time in your career that this match is completely dependant on the whim of the man across from you? You’ve been in this position so many times. Emperor stood above their subservient subject who is present just for The Emperor’s entertainment, in this position, what would you do? What have you done thirty-six times in your career?
It’s thumbs down for Mr Lockhart, thumbs down for your career having taken two losses in a row, thumbs down for your meek post-title loss act, thumbs down for your overall lack of spine when it comes to taking the fight to those who have wronged you. Use this match as a lesson, thank me. I’ll be teaching you while I kick your teeth down your throat what it means to have killer instinct as a professional wrestler. Cos if I’m honest? It’s why you lost to Dandy. It’s why you lost to Wade. Come on Ryan, you miss every opportunity to counter, you hesitate on every opening they give you. I can tell you right now. You fight Dandy again? You lose. You even so much as dare to finally rectify your legacy against Wade? You’re fuckin’ finished.
Against Joey Flash? You’re not even close to being a problem to me. I’ve never once considered you as being an issue for me. You spoke my name enough, the company hyped it, the fans hyped it so here I am giving them not the fight they thought wanted - but the beatdown that you fucking deserve.
You pathetic, spineless, sheltered, weak, self-centred coward. The lives we have lived are very different, yours is one of first world struggle - middle class kid with a chip on his shoulder. I’ve had to rip, tear and claw for every single inch of success I’ve managed to drag myself to. I’ve seen the very worst in people and done shit that would haunt you. You would understand in one second if you knew half the things I’ve gone through, there’s no number to describe the experience I’ve got on you.
After all things are said and done: I’m still an Action Wrestling fan. I own a Roy Speede ‘I AM NOT LOGAN’S SON’ tee, I watched the ‘Best of John Frost’ DVD which was just some fat dude in a ghost outfit shouting the N word for two hours, I’ve even watched about a hundred ‘Karlie Nash fucks NOT MOM’ videos on PornHub.
So let me just apologise to Action Wrestling for what I’m about to do to your prodigal son. This isn’t me doing this out of hatred or anger. This is me dealing with a festering problem that has been gnawing at me for far too long now; this is Ryan Lockhart’s ‘I AM THE BEST EVER’ bullshit finally being checked by someone who not only sees through the smoke and mirror act this piece of shit has been peddling but is good enough to shut him up and shut him down in every aspect of his wrestling. This is George telling Lenny to think of the farm; beating Ryan Lockhart isn’t a want - it’s a necessity.
This is going to feel like I’m putting my own dog to sleep.
Bodybags on deck.
You’re finished."