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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 5, 2019 19:38:52 GMT -5
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Post by Corey Bull on Jun 6, 2019 17:38:26 GMT -5
Roleplay: Everest
Handler: ODIN
Overall thoughts: Burn central
Rating Overview
Scene Description: 5
Character Development: 5
Shoot: 5
Flow: 5
RATING: 5 of 5
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CRITICAL REVIEW
Loved this rp. Top to bottom, I have to say it hits the marks. I know that I went 5 for 5 in Character Development, but I feel that isn't really needed because of how Developed Odin already is. Its obvious to anyone that reads this...you know this character. I like the idea that he brought in current events (The issues at Everest have been in the news a few times the last 2-3 weeks) and meshed them with his assault of TFK (And Alex Richards and Noble Savage if ya wanna get cereal)
Also, Banana Bafoon is now a thing....
And of course, my favorite line, because I could actually see Odin rolling his eyes in my head.
THE ALL FATHER: “ indeed. A roll up into a Boston crab and a cocky pin. Stop, I’m getting a chubby. “
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SUGGESTIONS
I don't really see anything to suggest. You hit the right marks with your character, solid, solid performance.
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Post by Wade Moor on Jun 6, 2019 18:22:26 GMT -5
Odin a damn legend for a reason and this promo is a shining example. It wasn’t just rootin, tootin, shootin’ cowboy stuff, it was a methodical, calculated breakdown of TFK. I honestly would have punched my computer screen or chucked my phone across the room lol.
You make the shoot flow so effortlessly. I think I’ve said this before but honestly I don’t know what mind-space you inhabit while you’re writing but gah dayum the gah dayum my guy.
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 6, 2019 19:39:15 GMT -5
Odin a damn legend for a reason and this promo is a shining example. It wasn’t just rootin, tootin, shootin’ cowboy stuff, it was a methodical, calculated breakdown of TFK. I honestly would have punched my computer screen or chucked my phone across the room lol. You make the shoot flow so effortlessly. I think I’ve said this before but honestly I don’t know what mind-space you inhabit while you’re writing but gah dayum the gah dayum my guy. I wish I knew where my head went. I normally load up on nightmare fuel and set phasers to kill
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 6, 2019 19:41:07 GMT -5
Odin a damn legend for a reason and this promo is a shining example. It wasn’t just rootin, tootin, shootin’ cowboy stuff, it was a methodical, calculated breakdown of TFK. I honestly would have punched my computer screen or chucked my phone across the room lol. You make the shoot flow so effortlessly. I think I’ve said this before but honestly I don’t know what mind-space you inhabit while you’re writing but gah dayum the gah dayum my guy. Did u throw a fit when we did like 6 pages of Shia clap gifs? Lol
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Post by Wade Moor on Jun 6, 2019 19:54:11 GMT -5
Odin a damn legend for a reason and this promo is a shining example. It wasn’t just rootin, tootin, shootin’ cowboy stuff, it was a methodical, calculated breakdown of TFK. I honestly would have punched my computer screen or chucked my phone across the room lol. You make the shoot flow so effortlessly. I think I’ve said this before but honestly I don’t know what mind-space you inhabit while you’re writing but gah dayum the gah dayum my guy. Did u throw a fit when we did like 6 pages of Shia clap gifs? Lol I’m surprised my POS computer at the time didn’t crash to be honest lmao I think the only time I legit raged against you was when I first started as Colin Marshall and ZMAC was my crash course introduction to efedding lol
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 6, 2019 19:55:56 GMT -5
Did u throw a fit when we did like 6 pages of Shia clap gifs? Lol I’m surprised my POS computer at the time didn’t crash to be honest lmao I think the only time I legit raged against you was when I first started as Colin Marshall and ZMAC was my crash course introduction to efedding lol Fuckin rip lol
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 8, 2019 0:48:25 GMT -5
Fuck, me.
I’m gonna keep it simple stupid, as a fashion connoisseur, you had me at “ Bare chest. Oakleys. Cargo shorts. Zinc on his nose, Ricky Flippys on his feet: sandals made out of the skin of many jobbers that the All Father has killed over the years. The All Father slurps on a pina colada while smoking a blunt and list’ning to that Rosta Gud Gud.”
Talk about a sense of style, add in Everest and James F’N Cameron, I love Thaddy, but you showed him “Who’s your daddy, Thaddy?”, whoa deja-vu, even before you said one word. I think Shadowlove got off lucky only having to face ZMAC over the years.
I loved how THE ALL FATHER treating Thaddy like it was just another day at the office and breakfast, Jenna B., and Miley Cyrus was most important meal of the day.
As far as shoot goes, Odin is Odin, ZMAC is ZMAC, comedic viciousness at its best. Like dissecting frogs in science class.
The coup de grâce for me was, your choice of song, I know that I’ve used songs in some of Shadow’s RP’s to make a point and send a message, but The Rains of Castamere from the GOT soundtrack to end Thaddy’s misery was. . . classic.
Overall thought: Legendary from a Living Legend.
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 8, 2019 1:24:40 GMT -5
Thank you very much, Shadow
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 8, 2019 1:33:39 GMT -5
You’re very welcome, my friend. Thought I owed you one.
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Post by Guillotine (QDT) on Jun 10, 2019 20:03:41 GMT -5
- Purely shallow aesthetic bullshit here. I like the LOOK of your RPs. You've segmented stuff well, the font colours and sizes are good and there's variation. Rightly or wrongly, this gets me through the door of actually reading the RP.
- Personal preference time. I don't like the word count thing. It's courteous and all but it just takes me out of the suspension of disbelief a bit. Just my taste.
- Lots of references in opening description. I like it as I know those concerned. It's conversational and fun. Maybe add in a little Shadowlove-esque verbosity to mix it up a little. I enjoy the conversation style narration but I also think it's a nice space for some flowery shit.
- Imagery good - Odin on Everest is epic and appropriate. Your shit talking dialogue is immense. Sometimes I can find it a little hard to understand without reading carefully though. But I'm a dumbass so LOL go crazy. "Tryin to make smoke signals with your pussy farts" - amazing line.
- The shoot is hard hitting and both elevates Odin and relegates TFK. Some of the arguments are a little generic and not too specific to TFK (at least in the opening bit of dialogue) but your phraseology is so unique it doesn't matter a whole load.
- The pre-empting of TFK's shoot worked well.
- Starting Part 2 now. Characterisation great but I suppose the taste of a somewhat straighter narration suits my palette better. Your dialogue is so quirky and powerfully individual that the description being more descriptive and less referential would help it stand out more. Plus with too many cultural references, there's a higher chance of things going over people's heads.
- Special attraction quality to Odin comes across really excellently. You sell that shit bigtime and it feels legitimate, even to those who don't know of your history (I, of course, do).
- Jenna's questions are a bit nondescript but I guess that's the point as she's not the focus here.
- Talking about actual wrestling moves in an intelligent, strategic way is refreshing.
- Scanning through Part 3 now - the straight shoot. This is where you really excel, my man. I like all the mentions of film editing software and the like.
- QDT mention - you had me at hello <3
- You have an incredible knack at making the in the box stuff radically out the box. The shoot is written and presented in such a bizarre, creative way. However, the ideas behind it are not as fresh as the execution IMHO. It's a little bit like the words could apply to any random wrestler. It's hard and nasty but I want to see a bit more that shows close knowledge of TFK. Perhaps that's Odin's deal - he doesn't give a shit about others. Why should he? He's the man. But I wonder if there's a way of maintaining this total self assuredness while adding elements that show that the opponent has been pondered on a deeper level. Does that make sense?
- Final thoughts... an exceptional talent and a great RP that beat a wonderful competitor in TFK. My negative comments above are mostly taste and perhaps, if taken on board, it wouldn't be true to your character. I don't know. I'm just offering you something because you are so generous to the roster here in making us better that I wanted to do more than just suck your dick.
Feel free to ask me to elaborate on or clarify any of the above. You are seriously the man. You got creativity coming out of every pore.
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 11, 2019 18:28:48 GMT -5
Guillotine (QDT)I understand your takes. Like the word count thing. I put it before the promo ( or after ) but If I'm watching a moving I dont need to see that the screen play was 120 pages. I think with Odin I'm at the spot were everyone eventually wants to be. through all my years and hard work I'm a legend and I'm still regularly using Odin so if I dont have something to do with him, the shoot can be bland, like you said, even if I do it in a unique way. John Cena, Taker, Brock, Orton, how do you make those guys who are icons be even more powerful? Then in regards to TFK, like I said in my rp, hes not the first guy to act like or the last that I've handed him his ass. I think its trying to keep things fresh, you know? I'm a legend. now what? I just have to keep going forward. I just want to see what else I can do to have ppl enjoy my work.
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 11, 2019 18:51:36 GMT -5
I can’t hardly wait. *moves a few feet left of TFK, and points towards him. Who’s your buddy?* lol
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Post by Odin Balfore on Jun 11, 2019 19:01:17 GMT -5
ive spent 2 days reviewing promos instead of writing mine lol
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Post by Shadowlove on Jun 11, 2019 19:19:49 GMT -5
I will give you 5 out of 5, if Odin no-shows this week lol *promise*
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