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Post by Kennedy Matthews on Mar 26, 2019 14:51:23 GMT -5
I will give anyone feedback. If you would like feedback please post below.
My credentials
Been efedding since 2005
Multiple time champion at all levels
Former fedhead
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Post by Estrella Luiz ✨ on Mar 26, 2019 14:52:51 GMT -5
I will give anyone feedback. If you would like feedback please post below. My credentials Been efedding since 2005 Multiple time champion at all levels Former fedhead Please? Just please try to be as unbiased as possible. Good, bad, I want it all
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Post by Kennedy Matthews on Mar 26, 2019 15:21:50 GMT -5
Roleplay: Gotta Get On His Level *The Finale* Hander: Beau Del SolOverall thoughts: You are one of the best shoot guys in the company but you left me hanging on wanting more of a glimpse as to who Beau Blaze is. ___________________________________ Rating Overview Scene Description: 3 (Needs more) Character Development: 3 (Who is Beau Blaze really?) Shoot: 4.5 (I can hear a southern accent when I read Beau. I love his "I am gonna kick yer ass" type speech Flow: 3.5 RATING: 3.5 of 5 ___________________________________ CRITICAL REVIEW - Tell us more about your surroundings. Show us as vividly as you can. I lack in this area a lot of times. Scene Description: - You gave us some good descriptions one paragraph and then lacked the next. I want to know where we are and what we are doing. Character Development: - Love that you constantly talk down to BK and check on your partner. That shows what kind of partner Beau is. I just want more of an understanding as to who Beau Blaze is. Shoot: - Solid shoot like you always do. I feel like you stayed focused on BK for the most part. Great job. Flow: - Easy read. Each moment flowed into the next very fluidly. _______________________ SUGGESTIONS - Shoot is spot on. Just give us more Character and more detail. You are a solid roleplayer. Jay aka Kennedy Matthews and Geri Miller.
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Post by Kennedy Matthews on Mar 26, 2019 15:31:57 GMT -5
Roleplay: Tiemp para un nuevo reinado Hander: Estrella Luiz ✨Overall thoughts: - Solid storytelling. Shoot was a little lacking but you are still learning everyone here. A little more research will do you wonders. ___________________________________ Rating Overview Scene Description: 4 (Love how you set the scene. Could use a bit more description) Character Development: 4 (Loving the class gap between Estrella and Robert. It adds so much to who Estrella is) Shoot: 3 (The more you read the more you will learn about everyone and you will be unstoppable) Flow: 3.5 RATING: 3.625 of 5 ___________________________________ CRITICAL REVIEW - Do more research on your opponents past accomplishments both in Adub and Outside. Scene Description: - Your descriptions are solid. Just add more. Character Development: - Your "money doesn't mean a thing to me" gimmick is amazing. It shows that Estrella is truly a spoiled princess. Shoot: - Good shoot. You are constantly improving in this aspect. If you would read your opponents last 2 RPs you can get a lot of ammo. Flow: - Each scene served a purpose and the transitions were solid. _______________________ SUGGESTIONS - Character Development is amazing. You have come so far from that loveable, I want everyone to like me girl and transitioned Estrella into a true definition of La Princesa. Keep it up! Jay aka Kennedy Matthews and Geri Miller.
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Post by Claire Hawkins on Mar 26, 2019 15:47:04 GMT -5
If you have the time then I would welcome any feedback you have.
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Post by Magic Maddox on Mar 26, 2019 16:41:59 GMT -5
First time writing for this character. Bearing in mind that the 201 word limit is 700 and that's a pretty rough bar to get under while doing everything a good story ought to do, I'm curious as to what people are thinking about the debut RP I just posted.
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Post by Hazel Overton on Mar 26, 2019 22:33:44 GMT -5
Id love to have some feedback. It's been a while since I wrote for Hazel
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Post by Lissie Hope on Mar 26, 2019 23:11:16 GMT -5
First RP I've written in six years. Would love your thoughts and I'll be happy to return the favor!
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Post by Kennedy Matthews on Apr 1, 2019 16:59:10 GMT -5
Roleplay: Witch Hunt XIV Hander: Claire HawkinsOverall thoughts: Very solid. Left me craving more. ___________________________________ Rating Overview Scene Description: 4 (Could use a little more however what you have is very easy to see in my head) Character Development: 3 (We get small glimpses of the witch. Where does she come from? I know I may have to read more) Shoot: 3 (Just as I was falling in love with it, it was cut short) Flow: 3 (Maybe I need some context but the second scene seemed.. out of place.) RATING: 3.25 of 5 ___________________________________ CRITICAL REVIEW - Tell us more about your surroundings. Show us as vividly as you can. I lack in this area a lot of times. Give us more idea as to who Claire is. Scene Description: - You gave us some good descriptions (i.e. Jenna being heavenly) I just want more. Character Development: - Have a good feel for the character. I just crave more Shoot: - Solid shoot just felt rushed. Flow: - Easy read. Each moment flowed into the next very fluidly. Second scene seemed out of place to me. _______________________ SUGGESTIONS - You are a solid RPer and I feel like with a little more description Claire can be one of the best parts of this fed. Jay aka Kennedy Matthews and Geri Miller.
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Post by Kennedy Matthews on Apr 1, 2019 17:09:16 GMT -5
Roleplay: Awakening 1 - 11:11 Hander: Lissie HopeOverall thoughts: Very entertaining. You showed why you are here. ___________________________________ Rating Overview Scene Description: 4 (I could visualize it all. May need a little more description mainly about the bruises and stuff) Character Development: 3.5 (I want more Lissie Hope. Who is she? Where does she truly come from? She has a mystique about her. Shoot: 4 (Feel as if it was cut short and/or rushed. I want to see what you do in the future.) Flow: 4 (Easy read. Maybe color would help it a bit?) RATING: 3.875 of 5 ___________________________________ CRITICAL REVIEW - Feel like this was simply a tease. I want more! Scene Description: - Only thing I wish is we got more description. Instead of saying "to hide the marks and bruises" maybe word it like "And it pained him to see his sister having to resort to wearing long-sleeve hoodies in the warm Texas summers to hide the deep red marks and the seemingly unending purple bruises, dark as the night sky." Character Development: - I want more... Great set up Shoot: - Very good shoot just felt like it was rushed Flow: - Easy read. Spacing and or Color would have made it easier. _______________________ SUGGESTIONS - As far as debut RPs go this is one of the better ones I have ever read. I want to see more! Jay aka Kennedy Matthews and Geri Miller.
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Post by Derrick Vayden on Apr 3, 2019 14:49:33 GMT -5
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Post by Alex Richards on Apr 8, 2019 19:15:23 GMT -5
If you got the time what you think of alexs first promo back?
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Post by Bazadaft on Apr 9, 2019 8:08:30 GMT -5
Maybe some feedback for me, I do need some. If you could do some for me that's would be great. Yeah.
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