Post by Beau Del Sol on Jan 6, 2019 17:48:39 GMT -5
Gotta Get On His Level
We do things different in the country. We live different, party different, hell we are our own culture. Y'all only understand the culture from the outside and you people put blanketed prejudice and demeaning labels on us. I understand there's a few bad apples in every tree, but it's ignorant to think its possible for every damn apple on that tree to be rotten. That's ok though because I'm here to deliberate you, I will show you what the country is, not what it's like. Get ready for the most genuine look into the cowboy culture as you'll ever get. Now take a piss, grab a beer, turn the volume up and get comfortable; cause you're not gonna wanna take your eyes off this much authenticity! Roll it boys!
[It was a cold New Years Eve, especially out in the pasture, a wide open field. The wind cut through us like a hot branding iron to a calves flesh. We sat around a ginormous bonfire that licked up at the stars stretching a good 15 feet upward. It was scorching freakin hot.
Hell, we probably had a good 50 people hangin out here in the pasture. Of course I had my 1 ton Dodge Ram saddled up on one side of the fire. I had the tailgate down as I held court, sitting on it, in nothing but jeans and my white alligator vest, yea no t-shirt man.]
Elias: Bro you're fucking Zombie McMorris' tag partner how are not psyched up right now!
Beau: Yea he's a partner, not a friend. He's not to fond of a ole country boy like me. We aren't the same so what he doesn't understand he hates, an easy solution, thus the success of Zombie.
Elias: Still Beau he's a goddamn legend, hell he's THE legend of legends.
Beau: Ok? So that makes me a legend conquerer? Did you forget I took the TV strap off him?
Jim: Hell yea you did! This ain't all McMorris y'all cause Beau puts his work in to.
Kurt: Hey that guy looks scary as hell and he's like on coke all the time fool. You know what that shit does to you? You go craaaaaaazy bro.
Beau: Y'all are a bunch of fucking dick riders. Get the fuck outta here with that shit.
Elias: Cuz you know you gotta get on his level right?
Beau: On his level? You mean doing coke, right?
Elias: Fuck yea! Take the legends winning formula and make it yours.
Beau: I've got my own winning formula and it doesn't need cocaine to be successful.
Elias: You better let the fuckers know your just as crazy. JIM GRAB THE BEERS!
Beau: Elias, I have nothing left to prove here.
[Jim came wading back through the crowd like a whale hitting a land barge. His big ass looked like a fat running back juking left, right, and hurdling small fires trying not to spill a milk crate full of alcohol as he stumbled putting his momentum towards my truck safely sliding the milk crate onto the tailgate as he took an epic big mans fall rolling onto his back, all fours up in the fucking air, it's one hell of a sight ain't it?]
Elias: Haha! You left a crater the size of Texas in the ground fat ass!
Jim: Shut up you fucking midget!
Kurt: Alright y'all lets get twisted! Beau toss me two Budweiser's and I'll show you how to get on Mr. McMorris' level.
Beau: Oh boy, here we go.
Hattie: Kurt what in the hell are you doing?
Kurt: Showing Beau how to get on Zombie's level.
Hattie: By gnawing on bottle caps? Did you do drugs, do I need to call your parents AGAIN Kurt?
Beau: Haha!
Kurt: Hattie we don't need a babysitter! Your like 40, why are you here anyway?
Hattie: Ha! Honey I'm 26 and I'm here for Beau.
Kurt: And we're all 18!
Beau: Kurt shut the fuck up. You just got a stick up your ass cause that 15 year old dumped you.
Hattie: 15? Ew that's nasty and you're gonna question me! Pervert!
Kurt: Hatt-
Beau: Boy didn't I tell you to shut up.
Kurt: Bea-
Beau: Hush I said. Now show me this badassery you say you possess.
[Kurt spits the bottle caps out of his mouth and clanks the two beer bottles together, foaming them up, as he leaned his head back chugging both of them at the same time. Within seconds they were empty and he threw them to the side.]
Kurt: Hell yea! That's how you get on his fucking level Bullfrog. Aaaaaaah!
Hattie: Well Beau looks like you have challenger.
Beau: Looks that way, can you drive me home tonight if I'm to drunk?
Hattie: You're to cute. We're on your property silly!
Beau: Well, I know that but I may need help in bed.
Hattie: Boy behave yourself. You want a bottle of Grey Goose?
Beau: Yea let me make Kurt look like a bitch, ha!
Hattie: Shouldn't be hard hun.
Beau: Who am I?
Crowd: BULLFROG!
Beau: I said WHO THE FUCK AM I!?
Crowd: BUUUUUUUUUULLFROOOOOOOOOOG!
Beau: You're goddamn right I am and I have had people pushing me all night to do wild shit to get on McMorris' level. People I have nothing to prove, he's beat me and I've beat him, for a championship. Just because I'm a rookie and he's a legend doesn't mean I have to prove shit. I've held my own, I continue to hold my own, and nobody can say I can't keep up with the Zombie in the ring. He can hate me, he can get on my nerves, hell he may wanna fight. That's all fine because we both understand business. When we are in that ring we are brothers and we will fight to the death and give each other every fucking thing we have, but outside of the ring all I can say is: Fuck that obnoxious douche. How you gonna shoot on your own partner you dick, haha. Genuine McMorris, we'll get that shit worked out though, or we'll just be the most successful but implosive tag champions in history, why? Cause who's gonna stop us? No one and heres why! Kurt you better be watching boy!
Beau: Y'all don't get it fucked up! Ain't a damn thing changed around here, Zombie better keep up with me. Blaze is out bitches!
Hattie: Are you really leaving!?
Beau: Damn right. You gotta know when to leave girl.
Hattie: So that means your leaving me then! Aw shucks Beau.
Beau: Haha girl get in the truck, we gonna go spotlightin.
Kurt: More like moonlightin!
Beau: Will you shut up! Jeez!
--------------
Lets cut the shit and get right down to it. I'm glad all of y'all are swallowing the jizz train of me and Zombie having a dysfunctional relationship. Ya don't say do ya jackasses? Of course we do and it distracts y'all but doesn't effect us which means we're even better than we look? Pun intended? Who cares? Y'all do and before you pull the old riding coattails card please do your research first. I'm not better than ZMAC every night but goddamn I hold my own every night. I hold down Cocaine Cowboys every night, I pull my own fucking weight, I'm not same damn sandbag like Andre Holmes.
Boy I don't know a whole lot about but what I do know is it seems Zombie knows you really well. The way he talked about you I swear I could taste the same taste Z got off your grimy gravy ass and my mouth is already watering. I love me an EBT bitch, and I know Z does too. I know your a decorated wrestler, a veteran, but you ain't no Beau Blaze, you ain't no Zombie McMorris and you don't click up with the Cocaine Cowboys, hell we hardly click up, haha.
Andre this is just another match for you I'm sure, it should be for me too, neither one of us have anything to lose, except I'm genetically engineered to be different. God didn't make me to be good, he made me to be great and that's why I have to snatch your soul Monday night... To feed my pride. You see it's the only thing a man can truly be measured by, kinda like kicking alotta ass in the ring when you don't need to but people still build you up for it. Maybe you do have the skills but you don't have the brain for the business. You hop around companies like a broke crackhead hops around drug dealers and you look like one too!
But thank God you have that golden haired goddess on your side...
Because I think that's the only reason Zombie is showin up anyways. Casey we haven't had the pleasure to meet but I'm sorry if you and ZMAC have to square up in the ring. I know you think he's repulsive but we have to win because the Cocaine Cowboys don't lose. You'll be fine, you are a decorated wrestler as well, you can hang right? I know what you've done here in Action Wrestling and I respect it, I respect you and I believe you'll be a true test of skill. I need that, I need to measure where my talents are as a wrestler. Push me Mrs. Holliday, let's put on a show and give the fans what they want, right before you enter 8 Seconds of Hell.
Andre, Casey take a seat so I can teach you real quick. See this wrestling formula, it's easy math for this match, hell I think Zombie did it in crayon even. Basically the answer is infinity defeat for you two high and mighty over hyped wrestler that have never been in a ring together. Chemistry is a real thing you two don't have but you need, go watch mine and Z's last match, that's chemistry. You better get ready because ZMAC is always lookin to whip ass and I'm always up for a good fight, if you can even give us a good fight. Haha.
On. His. Level.