Post by Guillotine (QDT) on Dec 16, 2018 20:43:26 GMT -5
In the beginning was the Champ, and the Champ was with QDT, and the Champ was QDT. Grandpapa Lorenzo begat Papa Giacomo. Papa Giacomo begat me. Before my destiny could unfurl, I was sleeping in my cozy bed when a lesser spotted mythical creature flew through my window.
Angel "Torture": Greetings Quixote! Highly favoured one. Do not be afraid. (his halo fell off) We once knew a prosperous time when 201 was indeed Fun. ZMac trolled hard for 56 glorious days, Jay Frost was of biblical proportions and Tatters was oh so Tantalizing. But Gravedigger ate an apple and a curse fell upon us. Now we are perishing under the decaying reign of Jaice Wilds. You must travel to Wembley Stadium and end the Turmoil that Wilds is inflicting on the viewing public. Now go and be the saviour we've long prophesied!
So Papa and I traversed the arid, scorching deserts of London atop a rather plump donkey.
Quixote: What's so bad about this Jaice Wilds anyway?
Papa Giacomo: For over a decade, he's hidden behind barbed wire bats, chairs, masks, assassins, guardians and as many associates as he can to advance his career beyond what his meagre talent deserves. He is violent because he hasn't got the ability to get what he wants by any other means. He will take you to extremes but you must be true to yourself and you'll surely overcome him. He underestimates you, to his folly. Let his pride be his fall.
Quixote: I suppose we better hurry then. Why's this donkey so slow?
Suddenly the donkey coughed and sputtered underneath me.
Billy the Donkey: AW don't pay me enough for this shit. Where's Avery at? I'm always the ass.
After an arduous journey, we made it to Turmoil. My blessed fortune came to pass, not in a manger but a squared circle. We tried to celebrate but there was no room at the inn as Jaice was drowning his sorrows and probably still is. A wise man in a black and white striped garment handed me my prize of gold. There was no myrrh but my gift of Frankenstein was to come.
And we all lived happily ever after...? Not quite. Meanwhile, far away, somewhere dark and hygienically suspect, the snivelling servant brought troubling news to Queen Her-odd.
Blackpebble: Your monstrous highness, I'm afraid that the boy wonder QDT has won the 201 & Fun Title and is rendering your undefeated streak irrelevant.
Her-odd: But I'm a sweary monster damnit! I popped out of my Momma's grave. Surely I get 6 months of controversy points for that one. What can we do to stay relevant?
Blackpebble: I can wear another evening gown?
Out of NOWHERE, Papa Giacomo and I emerged in the monster's dungeon to confront them.
Papa Giacomo: Qui, you can't fight her. A man shouldn't hurt a lady, no matter how much of a bitch she is!
Her-odd: HEY!
Quixote: She's not a lady, she's a monster. And she's good. 5 matches, 5 wins. She's relying on me holding back. If I do that for a second, this title's hers. Ramona Sheen's long gone, as she proved by disrespecting her Mama's grave. She has no respect for anything sacred. Unlike Jaice Wilds who's struggling with his demons, Ramona has embraced the monster to the point it has devoured her. There's no redeeming her. I respect Jaice, there's hope for him, but Ms. Monster is vile. Also, I'm SICK of seeing Jacob Blackstone tread all over people, whether it's radio hosts, voting officials, teenage store assistants, whoever. They need to be stopped. I know we were joking before about Wilds' 201 reign but he was an honourable champion. If Monster takes my Title, this division is going to hell. There is NO chance I'm letting that happen. Even if she drags me to Hades with her, I'm leaving her there burnin' and coming back with my belt round my waist.
Papa Giacomo: I still don't feel comfortable with this.
Quixote: Hey, it's her choice. If she lives by the sword...
I pulled out my blade and sliced her frickin' head off.
Quixote: She dies by the sword!
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.
Angel "Torture": Greetings Quixote! Highly favoured one. Do not be afraid. (his halo fell off) We once knew a prosperous time when 201 was indeed Fun. ZMac trolled hard for 56 glorious days, Jay Frost was of biblical proportions and Tatters was oh so Tantalizing. But Gravedigger ate an apple and a curse fell upon us. Now we are perishing under the decaying reign of Jaice Wilds. You must travel to Wembley Stadium and end the Turmoil that Wilds is inflicting on the viewing public. Now go and be the saviour we've long prophesied!
So Papa and I traversed the arid, scorching deserts of London atop a rather plump donkey.
Quixote: What's so bad about this Jaice Wilds anyway?
Papa Giacomo: For over a decade, he's hidden behind barbed wire bats, chairs, masks, assassins, guardians and as many associates as he can to advance his career beyond what his meagre talent deserves. He is violent because he hasn't got the ability to get what he wants by any other means. He will take you to extremes but you must be true to yourself and you'll surely overcome him. He underestimates you, to his folly. Let his pride be his fall.
Quixote: I suppose we better hurry then. Why's this donkey so slow?
Suddenly the donkey coughed and sputtered underneath me.
Billy the Donkey: AW don't pay me enough for this shit. Where's Avery at? I'm always the ass.
After an arduous journey, we made it to Turmoil. My blessed fortune came to pass, not in a manger but a squared circle. We tried to celebrate but there was no room at the inn as Jaice was drowning his sorrows and probably still is. A wise man in a black and white striped garment handed me my prize of gold. There was no myrrh but my gift of Frankenstein was to come.
And we all lived happily ever after...? Not quite. Meanwhile, far away, somewhere dark and hygienically suspect, the snivelling servant brought troubling news to Queen Her-odd.
Blackpebble: Your monstrous highness, I'm afraid that the boy wonder QDT has won the 201 & Fun Title and is rendering your undefeated streak irrelevant.
Her-odd: But I'm a sweary monster damnit! I popped out of my Momma's grave. Surely I get 6 months of controversy points for that one. What can we do to stay relevant?
Blackpebble: I can wear another evening gown?
Out of NOWHERE, Papa Giacomo and I emerged in the monster's dungeon to confront them.
Papa Giacomo: Qui, you can't fight her. A man shouldn't hurt a lady, no matter how much of a bitch she is!
Her-odd: HEY!
Quixote: She's not a lady, she's a monster. And she's good. 5 matches, 5 wins. She's relying on me holding back. If I do that for a second, this title's hers. Ramona Sheen's long gone, as she proved by disrespecting her Mama's grave. She has no respect for anything sacred. Unlike Jaice Wilds who's struggling with his demons, Ramona has embraced the monster to the point it has devoured her. There's no redeeming her. I respect Jaice, there's hope for him, but Ms. Monster is vile. Also, I'm SICK of seeing Jacob Blackstone tread all over people, whether it's radio hosts, voting officials, teenage store assistants, whoever. They need to be stopped. I know we were joking before about Wilds' 201 reign but he was an honourable champion. If Monster takes my Title, this division is going to hell. There is NO chance I'm letting that happen. Even if she drags me to Hades with her, I'm leaving her there burnin' and coming back with my belt round my waist.
Papa Giacomo: I still don't feel comfortable with this.
Quixote: Hey, it's her choice. If she lives by the sword...
I pulled out my blade and sliced her frickin' head off.
Quixote: She dies by the sword!
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.