Post by Sam Kidsgrove on Dec 16, 2018 17:04:12 GMT -5
Being British
By V. Jones
FADE IN
BLANK SCREEN - SAM KIDSGROVE VOICE OVER
KIDSGROVE
What does it mean to be British? Well for one thing it isn’t what you think it is.
A British flag shows on the screen, An orchestral version of God Save the Queen starts to play as highlights of various British sporting successes play, such as England winning the world Cup in 1966. England winning the Rugby World Cup in 2003 and the Olympics in 2012.
KIDSGROVE
Our tiny island, off the coast of Europe has contributed so much to the world. We brought about industry, created an Empire, our language is the language of science, poetry, music and literature. We’ve done alright for ourselves. But that’s not what it means to be British.
The EU flag now shows, taking over the British flag, before a montage of the years Britain was at the forefront of peace and prosperity under the EU banner, before the EU flag burns, allowing the British flag to take its place.
KIDSGROVE
It could be argued that to be British is helping unite the whole of Europe, bringing the continent to the most prosperous, peaceful time in history. Offering our services as a nation and a people for the greater good. Equally it could be argued that the fact we are the first to leave this Union is also British. A plucky nation willing to make a go of it alone when bigger powers just don’t work out for them. But no, this isn’t what it means to be British.
The video package transitions to wrestling, Sam Kidsgrove fighting for the US title, Sam Kidsgrove fighting for the International title. Sam Kidsgrove being taken out afterwards, followed by his much publicised health issues spread across the internet.
KIDSGROVE
No, what it means to be British is the fight. We’re a nation that loves to fight, we’re a nation that loves an underdog and we’re a nation that loves a good fashioned rags to riches story. Now I know that I have my critics, you’re likely sitting there shouting “But you’re filthy rich and don’t live in the UK! So what are you talking about? In fact, one of the biggest questions I get is “Why do you bill yourself from San Francisco by way of Draycott?”. Simply put, I am representing the true British way of life. You see we are an immigrant nation, we are an expansionist nation, we’re truly an International nation. Fuck these narrow minded Brexit folk, we’re Globalists, we created Globalism and we are the kings of it, kings of our own destiny. This is why I am known as Mr International. This is why I am from San Francisco and Draycott. I bring my Britishness to both places and I am British because I like to take risks and expand my brand, taking it International and embracing the help and support of everyone in the world.
The package now transitions to Lincoln Kuechly, still photos showing him mainly not doing much other than walking around various places.
KIDSGROVE
This fella, he isn’t what it means to be British. For a start he’s from London. Now people from London are not necessarily bad. Now don’t get me wrong, I love London - It’s why I worked tirelessly on Destination:London to bring Action Wrestling to Wembley stadium, it’s why I came back - to perform in front of 90,000 of my countrymen and make them proud as a real champion of the UK. I could not have been more proud of that night, except for you know, TFK and his stupid moron John Frost trying to ruin it with a cheap shot from behind. Good play by the way, I’ll get you back, it’s just a matter of time. But I digress. London isn’t perfect, London has a lot of unsavoury nonsense - unfortunately Lincoln Kuechly represents everything that is wrong with London. He’s a self entitled whinging baby of a man. I mean honestly, I’ve never seen anyone with so much entitlement, as soon as I saw him whinge the first time about something or other in catering and moan about how his fucking panini wasn’t gluten free or some shit I knew straight away, ah yeah, he’s from London. London, the city that gets it all in the UK - the city that lives in its own bubble, the city that is so self unaware that it doesn’t actually realise that outside of London Britain is pretty shitty for a lot of people. He’s one of those. He doesn’t realise, in his own little bubble that people have it worse than he does. He whines and bitches about the AW management and then comes to pick up his paycheck then goes missing for months. At the time of this recording, we’ve not actually seen Lincoln Kuechly since November. Wait? He was at Wembley? Hah, I genuinely didn’t even notice - that’s how pointless this fella is. He’s the most useless spoke in the most annoying faction in Action Wrestling, I mean honestly. What do FightSmart actually see in him. You have 2 genuinely talented guys there propping up a complete irrelevance in Kuechly who can have one good match in 2 months while trying to coast on his undeserved reputation. That’s not British, you work hard as a Brit, you work fair as a Brit and you have a sense of right and wrong. What Lincoln Kuechly actually is is Brexit. He has this idea that he’s brilliant, he has this idea that he’s going to be one of the best in the world, he has this idea that he can do all this on his mediocre talent and not have to work to get the result. He is in fact the Theresa May Brexit deal of the AW. He is half baked, half arsed and mostly pointless. The guy actually needs to grow some balls and take action rather than whinge on the sidelines. What happens after Monday night? Does he disappear for another few months? Probably, who knows with him? I had motherfucking diabetes and still managed to show every week for these fans until it became too much and I was taken to hospital THE VERY NIGHT I won the US title. Even then I tried to defend it. This is how I will defend my International title. This is how I will defend my legacy, I will fight, bring all of myself to everyone, title fight or no title fight, I’m going to bring it to you, I’m going to take you on, I’m going to be at 100% whether this is a dark match, mid card or main event - I give it all. You better be ready for this because I, unlike London, can fight. I can battle and I have more heart than anyone of those entitled whingebags in London can actually muster. Now I apologise to the real brave people in London, the people who work 3 jobs just to be able to eat, the people who have to do really tough, hard jobs to appease some rich fat cat gobshite that lives in Canary fucking Wharf. Those people can fuck right off, same as Lincoln Kuechly. Work hard for one day in your fucking life, treat people around you with respect or the revolution will come and punch you in the fucking face.
FADE OUT
END