Post by Apex Onyx on Dec 2, 2018 22:25:11 GMT -5
Birmingham, Alabama
July 24th, 2007 8:54 am
Dick Insidya Chevorlet
The showroom of Dick Insidya Motors is a classic car dealership. There is a 2008 Red Corvette Z-06 parked on one side of the show room. On the other side of the showroom is a 2008, pearl white Chevrolet SSR. In the middle of the showroom is a well-endowed woman in her early twenties. She is busy answering phones and paging sales and service people. She is not too busy to stop doing everything she is doing to greet Apex Onyx and his uncle Jay.
Apex is wearing purple Nike athletic shorts. They are loose fitting and match the yellow and purple striped socks he is wearing with his white Crocs. Normally, when Apex wears Crocs, he brings a pair of basketball or some other athletic shoe, in case some game or other athletic contest broke out. For sheer comfort, there is no better shoe than a Croc. Apex’s white T-shirt boasts a picture of Dolemite on it. It is an oversized shirt, it must be an 8 or 9 XL in order to be big on Apex’s large frame.
Uncle Jay is dressed in a light brown terrycloth outfit. The shorts are cargo style and hang a few inches below the knee. The terry cloth shirt has pockets on both sides of the chest. His outfits is reminiscent of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin would wear. Uncle Jay is rocking Coco Chanel Alligator shell sunglasses. Attached to the thin gold necklace, is a diamond encrusted “J”. Uncle Jay spared no Drakaar Noir this morning as it seems he bathed in it rather than splashed it on. Although you can smell him a mile away, it doesn’t offend. He is sockless and is sporting crocodile skin sandals. Wether you dig his style or not, it is clear that he has it. It’s also important to him to have style and be noticed, but he isn’t aggressive about it. He says hi to everybody in the place as if he knew all of them. He is clearly charming and probably the best salesman there. If you didn’t know, you might think he was the owner of the place. Uncle Jay has a way of giving off that vibe wherever he goes. Be it a nightclub, a church, a BBQ, or a board meeting, Uncle Jay had the ability to make any event seem like it was his.
Wanda: You must be Apex and Mr. Onyx. My name is Wanda, Mr. Insidya is so happy that you decided to come down. He will be right down. Can I get you a water, coffee, tea or snack?
UNCLE JAY: Please Wanda, call me Jay. (Uncle Jay has yet to release Wanda’s hand. He has changed the position from a hand shake to the position hands are in when a man is getting ready to kiss the back of her hand.) Your hands are so smooth, and the scent. Are you using Rodin lime infused hand lotion?
Wanda: …Uh…yes. That is impressive Mr., Jay. You know a lot about hand creams.
UNCLE JAY: Well Wanda, I know a lot about what makes women beautiful. I also know what makes cars look beautiful. As you know, I’m here to pick up a car. I know that you sitting in my car would make it look even better. Why don’t I come by this evening when you get off and take you for a ride?
Apex was used to this. Uncle Jay was a consummate ladies’ man. He would hit on just about anything, and was always on the hunt. Apex was always amazed that his Uncle had no kids. Jay was proud of that fact. He wasn’t one of those guys who would joke around, “I might have a kid out there, you never know.” Uncle Jay knew. He had been giving Apex condoms since he was in the 7th grade. Earlier that summer Apex finally used one with Chrissy Willis. Uncle Jay knew he had no little kids out there and liked it that way. This Wanda was a beautiful chick with a rocking body. At 25, she was 8 years older than Apex and 28 years younger than the 53-year-old Uncle Jay. She approached Uncle Jay with a folded piece of paper she has written something on.
Wanda: A ride with you sounds nice, but don’t pick me up here, I have a ride home from work. Pick me up at this address at 930.
Uncle Jay reads the note and it reads “Greystone Golf and Country Club -930- Wanda” In the note, the last “a” in Wanda is written as a heart. Uncle Jay folds the note and puts it in his shirt pocket. As Uncle Jay and Apex take their seats a sharply dressed salesman approaches. He is wearing a blue suit with a red tie and white button up shirt. His clothes are pressed and tailored and his hair is slicked back. He sports a gaudy wristwatch, and shiny cufflinks. He is probably in his mid-thirties.
Paul (the salesman): Hey Wanda, are you ready for tonight? My parents are excited, they don’t take everyone out to dinner at the club.
Wanda: I am super excited. But I just got a call from my mom. I am going to have to leave the club at about 930, to give her a ride to the airport.
Paul: No problem, I can go with you. My parents will understand.
Wanda: No, no. don’t do that. She’s going to pick me up at your parent’s country club and drive to the airport. I’ll drive her car to her house and Tiffany is going to give me a ride home. My mom is looking forward to some girl time on the drive, so I will just catch up with you tomorrow. Big deal, I’ll miss dessert and coffee.
Paul: Yeah, your right babe. You and your mom can catch up and my parents and I can talk about how awesome you are. Are these the two special guests that are here to see Mr. Insidya?
Wanda: Yes they are. This is Mr. Onyx and his nephew Apex.
Paul: Hello gentlemen. Great season last year Apex, I look forward to seeing it again your senior season. I graduated from Barry Madikkin High class of ’92. Played QB, we sucked.
UNCLE JAY: Paul Bearhart! Sure I remember you. You threw for 37 TD’s in 1991.
Paul: I sure did, we went 0-11.
UNCLE JAY: So football didn’t work out?
Paul : Sure it did. I played at Division 2, University of West Alabama for 4 years. Had a great time, free education.
UNCLE JAY: Now your selling cars for Insidya?
Paul: Well yes. I’m the sales manager here and at his other 11 lots in the Birmingham area. It’s pretty good money and I’m making more money than I ever could on a football field, which is zero. And besides I get to work around great people, and great looking people. Speaking of great people let’s go find Peter, he has your cars ready.
(As the men walk off, Uncle Jay turns to look at Wanda and she blows him a kiss and licks her lips. Apex can’t help but feel bad for Paul. He seems to genuinely like Uncle Jay. I mean, who wouldn’t. The guy just rattled off your high school stats from 2 decades ago. Paul has no idea that Uncle Jay is going to be about 9 inches deep into Wanda later and there is nothing Paul can do about it. Good for you Uncle Jay.)
Peter Insidya is standing next to a metallic emerald green 4 door Impala with a kit on it to lower it. The windows are damn near black. The emerald green Enkei wheels match the paint job perfectly. The wheels are low profile and it is not clear that the car could make it over a speed bump. Peter Insidya shakes hands with Uncle Jay and Apex.)
UNCLE JAY: Peter, I cannot thank you enough for making all this happen.
Peter Insidya: Now don’t thank me, it’s the least we could do for the University of Alabama’s next great football star and his uncle.
UNCLE JAY: Were you able to make that modification we talked about?
Peter Insidya: I was. That is the first time I have ever been asked to mount a small bar behind the rearview mirror to hang things on. We went ahead and took care of putting a few on there for you. Go ahead, open it up check out the interior.
Uncle opens the car door; think of the marijuana smoke billowing out Spiccoli’s van in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Now if you could see the scent being delivered by the no less than 70 Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the newly mounted bar designed for the sole purpose of hanging air fresheners; that is what it would like. As Uncle Jay slips into the leather interior of his new whip, the mixed scent of Drakaar Noir and evergreen air freshener fills the car and it smells just like, well just like Uncle Jay. Not everyone can pull off what Jay can pull off. With most people what he does would seem tacky, with Uncle Jay, it seems classy.
UNCLE JAY: Very impressive sir. You nailed it. Thank you so much. Now what did you get here for Apex?
Peter Insidya: Well Jay, you said you wanted something a little less flashy for Apex. So we went with this 2005 Chevy Aveo. We know it is nothing special, but again, Uncle Jay said he did not want to draw attention to what we are doing here.
APEX ONYX: I get it. Look I’m thankful for everything that you are doing for me and my uncle. I just hope I can pay you back one day.
Peter Insidya: Pay me back? You don’t owe me nothing. Friends don’t owe, they do because they wanna do.
UNCLE JAY: You know, I’m kind of a sports movie buff. That happens to be a direct quote from Rocky 3.
Peter Insidya: What?! You know that? I stole that line from Rocky years ago and have been using it ever since. I guess I gotta find a new line. Gentlemen, enjoy the vehicles. The keys are in the ignitions, they are registered to and insured by the Hymon Burston Foundation for a Better Alabama. You are each listed as authorized drivers. And Apex, I’m sure once we get you on campus up there at University of Alabama, we can find you a nicer ride. Uncle Jay, check the glove box, I believe Hymon left an envelope in there for you.
------
Birmingham, Alabama
July 31st, 2007 11:17 am
Chris Eugene’s (Friend of Apex) Garage
(Chris Eugene and Apex Onyx are in Chris’s garage lifting weights. Chris throws a plate on one side of the bar as Apex adds weight to the other side. Chris looks out into the street where Apex’s new car. He looks a little disappointed.)
Chris: So what’s up the ride A?
Apex: You like it bro?
Chris: I mean, it works, so that’s cool. But it’s nothing like that whip your Uncle Jay got. How does that work? I mean that car dealership hooks you and Jay up with rides, right?
Apex: Well yeah.
Chris: Why do you think they do that man?
Apex: It’s got something to do with where they want me to go to college.
Chris: right. It’s about where you want to go to college. Its about you man. Why is Uncle Jay rocking a $70k car and you have the equivalent to a Pinto?
Apex: Well…he’s…he’s my uncle dude. He sets all that stuff up. I don’t care what I kind of car I’m driving. I just want to play football.
Chris: Alright man, if you're cool with it. But remember , Uncle Jay never scored a touchdown, never took a hit from a blitzing linebacker. Just remember that Ape..
--
(Apex is alone in a dimly lit small gym. He is shirtless and wearing short athletic shorts. He is sitting on a weight bench with a towel slung around his neck.)
Apex: Chris Hell No. As in, do you have a chance to beat me, Hell no. I guess I could congratulate on your win. But man, when you wrestle once a year, it’s not hard to be well rested and ready to win. Well I don’ t care how well rested you are, you're not ready for this. This, (Apex points at his chest) this is better than you are today, this is better than you were yesterday, and this is better than you will be tomorrow. Bottom line, I am better than you can ever hope to be. Hell No, you quit the game recently huh? Then you decided to revamp your image and come back. Good for you clown. You’ll be asking for some more time off after I get through with you. Guys like you are not meant to share the ring with guys like me. I devote everything I have to this sport and you just come and go as you please. I don’t really have a problem with you coming and going. In fact, in some ways, I support it. After you Come to ring at Clash, you will need to Go directly to the hospital. See, I’m all about the come and go. Speaking of coming and going, how’s Sakuya? Tell her I said hi. Maybe while you recover, I could show her a good time. Let me know what you think, I know she’s down. So don’t forget to ask her about it. And don’t forget this. No matter how high you climb in this business, you will always be below the Apex.
July 24th, 2007 8:54 am
Dick Insidya Chevorlet
The showroom of Dick Insidya Motors is a classic car dealership. There is a 2008 Red Corvette Z-06 parked on one side of the show room. On the other side of the showroom is a 2008, pearl white Chevrolet SSR. In the middle of the showroom is a well-endowed woman in her early twenties. She is busy answering phones and paging sales and service people. She is not too busy to stop doing everything she is doing to greet Apex Onyx and his uncle Jay.
Apex is wearing purple Nike athletic shorts. They are loose fitting and match the yellow and purple striped socks he is wearing with his white Crocs. Normally, when Apex wears Crocs, he brings a pair of basketball or some other athletic shoe, in case some game or other athletic contest broke out. For sheer comfort, there is no better shoe than a Croc. Apex’s white T-shirt boasts a picture of Dolemite on it. It is an oversized shirt, it must be an 8 or 9 XL in order to be big on Apex’s large frame.
Uncle Jay is dressed in a light brown terrycloth outfit. The shorts are cargo style and hang a few inches below the knee. The terry cloth shirt has pockets on both sides of the chest. His outfits is reminiscent of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin would wear. Uncle Jay is rocking Coco Chanel Alligator shell sunglasses. Attached to the thin gold necklace, is a diamond encrusted “J”. Uncle Jay spared no Drakaar Noir this morning as it seems he bathed in it rather than splashed it on. Although you can smell him a mile away, it doesn’t offend. He is sockless and is sporting crocodile skin sandals. Wether you dig his style or not, it is clear that he has it. It’s also important to him to have style and be noticed, but he isn’t aggressive about it. He says hi to everybody in the place as if he knew all of them. He is clearly charming and probably the best salesman there. If you didn’t know, you might think he was the owner of the place. Uncle Jay has a way of giving off that vibe wherever he goes. Be it a nightclub, a church, a BBQ, or a board meeting, Uncle Jay had the ability to make any event seem like it was his.
Wanda: You must be Apex and Mr. Onyx. My name is Wanda, Mr. Insidya is so happy that you decided to come down. He will be right down. Can I get you a water, coffee, tea or snack?
UNCLE JAY: Please Wanda, call me Jay. (Uncle Jay has yet to release Wanda’s hand. He has changed the position from a hand shake to the position hands are in when a man is getting ready to kiss the back of her hand.) Your hands are so smooth, and the scent. Are you using Rodin lime infused hand lotion?
Wanda: …Uh…yes. That is impressive Mr., Jay. You know a lot about hand creams.
UNCLE JAY: Well Wanda, I know a lot about what makes women beautiful. I also know what makes cars look beautiful. As you know, I’m here to pick up a car. I know that you sitting in my car would make it look even better. Why don’t I come by this evening when you get off and take you for a ride?
Apex was used to this. Uncle Jay was a consummate ladies’ man. He would hit on just about anything, and was always on the hunt. Apex was always amazed that his Uncle had no kids. Jay was proud of that fact. He wasn’t one of those guys who would joke around, “I might have a kid out there, you never know.” Uncle Jay knew. He had been giving Apex condoms since he was in the 7th grade. Earlier that summer Apex finally used one with Chrissy Willis. Uncle Jay knew he had no little kids out there and liked it that way. This Wanda was a beautiful chick with a rocking body. At 25, she was 8 years older than Apex and 28 years younger than the 53-year-old Uncle Jay. She approached Uncle Jay with a folded piece of paper she has written something on.
Wanda: A ride with you sounds nice, but don’t pick me up here, I have a ride home from work. Pick me up at this address at 930.
Uncle Jay reads the note and it reads “Greystone Golf and Country Club -930- Wanda” In the note, the last “a” in Wanda is written as a heart. Uncle Jay folds the note and puts it in his shirt pocket. As Uncle Jay and Apex take their seats a sharply dressed salesman approaches. He is wearing a blue suit with a red tie and white button up shirt. His clothes are pressed and tailored and his hair is slicked back. He sports a gaudy wristwatch, and shiny cufflinks. He is probably in his mid-thirties.
Paul (the salesman): Hey Wanda, are you ready for tonight? My parents are excited, they don’t take everyone out to dinner at the club.
Wanda: I am super excited. But I just got a call from my mom. I am going to have to leave the club at about 930, to give her a ride to the airport.
Paul: No problem, I can go with you. My parents will understand.
Wanda: No, no. don’t do that. She’s going to pick me up at your parent’s country club and drive to the airport. I’ll drive her car to her house and Tiffany is going to give me a ride home. My mom is looking forward to some girl time on the drive, so I will just catch up with you tomorrow. Big deal, I’ll miss dessert and coffee.
Paul: Yeah, your right babe. You and your mom can catch up and my parents and I can talk about how awesome you are. Are these the two special guests that are here to see Mr. Insidya?
Wanda: Yes they are. This is Mr. Onyx and his nephew Apex.
Paul: Hello gentlemen. Great season last year Apex, I look forward to seeing it again your senior season. I graduated from Barry Madikkin High class of ’92. Played QB, we sucked.
UNCLE JAY: Paul Bearhart! Sure I remember you. You threw for 37 TD’s in 1991.
Paul: I sure did, we went 0-11.
UNCLE JAY: So football didn’t work out?
Paul : Sure it did. I played at Division 2, University of West Alabama for 4 years. Had a great time, free education.
UNCLE JAY: Now your selling cars for Insidya?
Paul: Well yes. I’m the sales manager here and at his other 11 lots in the Birmingham area. It’s pretty good money and I’m making more money than I ever could on a football field, which is zero. And besides I get to work around great people, and great looking people. Speaking of great people let’s go find Peter, he has your cars ready.
(As the men walk off, Uncle Jay turns to look at Wanda and she blows him a kiss and licks her lips. Apex can’t help but feel bad for Paul. He seems to genuinely like Uncle Jay. I mean, who wouldn’t. The guy just rattled off your high school stats from 2 decades ago. Paul has no idea that Uncle Jay is going to be about 9 inches deep into Wanda later and there is nothing Paul can do about it. Good for you Uncle Jay.)
Peter Insidya is standing next to a metallic emerald green 4 door Impala with a kit on it to lower it. The windows are damn near black. The emerald green Enkei wheels match the paint job perfectly. The wheels are low profile and it is not clear that the car could make it over a speed bump. Peter Insidya shakes hands with Uncle Jay and Apex.)
UNCLE JAY: Peter, I cannot thank you enough for making all this happen.
Peter Insidya: Now don’t thank me, it’s the least we could do for the University of Alabama’s next great football star and his uncle.
UNCLE JAY: Were you able to make that modification we talked about?
Peter Insidya: I was. That is the first time I have ever been asked to mount a small bar behind the rearview mirror to hang things on. We went ahead and took care of putting a few on there for you. Go ahead, open it up check out the interior.
Uncle opens the car door; think of the marijuana smoke billowing out Spiccoli’s van in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Now if you could see the scent being delivered by the no less than 70 Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the newly mounted bar designed for the sole purpose of hanging air fresheners; that is what it would like. As Uncle Jay slips into the leather interior of his new whip, the mixed scent of Drakaar Noir and evergreen air freshener fills the car and it smells just like, well just like Uncle Jay. Not everyone can pull off what Jay can pull off. With most people what he does would seem tacky, with Uncle Jay, it seems classy.
UNCLE JAY: Very impressive sir. You nailed it. Thank you so much. Now what did you get here for Apex?
Peter Insidya: Well Jay, you said you wanted something a little less flashy for Apex. So we went with this 2005 Chevy Aveo. We know it is nothing special, but again, Uncle Jay said he did not want to draw attention to what we are doing here.
APEX ONYX: I get it. Look I’m thankful for everything that you are doing for me and my uncle. I just hope I can pay you back one day.
Peter Insidya: Pay me back? You don’t owe me nothing. Friends don’t owe, they do because they wanna do.
UNCLE JAY: You know, I’m kind of a sports movie buff. That happens to be a direct quote from Rocky 3.
Peter Insidya: What?! You know that? I stole that line from Rocky years ago and have been using it ever since. I guess I gotta find a new line. Gentlemen, enjoy the vehicles. The keys are in the ignitions, they are registered to and insured by the Hymon Burston Foundation for a Better Alabama. You are each listed as authorized drivers. And Apex, I’m sure once we get you on campus up there at University of Alabama, we can find you a nicer ride. Uncle Jay, check the glove box, I believe Hymon left an envelope in there for you.
------
Birmingham, Alabama
July 31st, 2007 11:17 am
Chris Eugene’s (Friend of Apex) Garage
(Chris Eugene and Apex Onyx are in Chris’s garage lifting weights. Chris throws a plate on one side of the bar as Apex adds weight to the other side. Chris looks out into the street where Apex’s new car. He looks a little disappointed.)
Chris: So what’s up the ride A?
Apex: You like it bro?
Chris: I mean, it works, so that’s cool. But it’s nothing like that whip your Uncle Jay got. How does that work? I mean that car dealership hooks you and Jay up with rides, right?
Apex: Well yeah.
Chris: Why do you think they do that man?
Apex: It’s got something to do with where they want me to go to college.
Chris: right. It’s about where you want to go to college. Its about you man. Why is Uncle Jay rocking a $70k car and you have the equivalent to a Pinto?
Apex: Well…he’s…he’s my uncle dude. He sets all that stuff up. I don’t care what I kind of car I’m driving. I just want to play football.
Chris: Alright man, if you're cool with it. But remember , Uncle Jay never scored a touchdown, never took a hit from a blitzing linebacker. Just remember that Ape..
--
(Apex is alone in a dimly lit small gym. He is shirtless and wearing short athletic shorts. He is sitting on a weight bench with a towel slung around his neck.)
Apex: Chris Hell No. As in, do you have a chance to beat me, Hell no. I guess I could congratulate on your win. But man, when you wrestle once a year, it’s not hard to be well rested and ready to win. Well I don’ t care how well rested you are, you're not ready for this. This, (Apex points at his chest) this is better than you are today, this is better than you were yesterday, and this is better than you will be tomorrow. Bottom line, I am better than you can ever hope to be. Hell No, you quit the game recently huh? Then you decided to revamp your image and come back. Good for you clown. You’ll be asking for some more time off after I get through with you. Guys like you are not meant to share the ring with guys like me. I devote everything I have to this sport and you just come and go as you please. I don’t really have a problem with you coming and going. In fact, in some ways, I support it. After you Come to ring at Clash, you will need to Go directly to the hospital. See, I’m all about the come and go. Speaking of coming and going, how’s Sakuya? Tell her I said hi. Maybe while you recover, I could show her a good time. Let me know what you think, I know she’s down. So don’t forget to ask her about it. And don’t forget this. No matter how high you climb in this business, you will always be below the Apex.