Post by Ms. Monster on Nov 30, 2018 1:06:36 GMT -5
The scene opens with the camera focused on Jenna Bauer. Jenna is standing in front of a backdrop in the backstage area of the Clash area ready to conduct an online exclusive interview with Ms. Monster.
Jenna: Jenna Bauer here for this week’s AW Internet Exclusive with Ms. Monster!
The shot widens to find Ms. Monster standing alone beside Jenna.
Ms. Monster, uh, you seem to be missing something. Where’s Blackstone?
Monster stares a hole in Jenna before groaning out a response.
MM: He’s putting on a dress.
Will you be ringside with Blackstone for his match tonight?
Are you really going to interview me about my manager’s match?
Uhhh, no…?
Good.
...You’ve got 10 opponents this week.
The whole division.
Shall we do some word association?
Fine.
Koji?
...
Do you know how this works?
I don’t associate anything with a man who has never made an impression on anyone.
Preston Edwards.
...Look, Jenna. I’m not going to bullshit you. You can rattle off all the names that aren’t Jaice, Knight, and Geisel, and the response is all the same: they mean less than the paper their contracts are written on. I can’t be bothered to give even one shit about them. Jaice, Knight, and Geisel though? I have some thoughts.
Why do those stand out to you?
Because aside from me and the champ, they are the only names worth shit in this division, the ones worth my consideration. They are the only real threats.
Threats to you or to win the match?
The match. There isn’t a single one of these professionals who could hope to threaten me. Jenna, I’m undefeated for a reason. I am the best hope this company has for a 201 champion that can hold their own in this division and others. Teddy raps... Great. Rhyming doesn’t win matches. The only hope this kid has at the 201 belt is if somehow I don’t win this #1 Contender Battle Royal, because when I do, I’m dethroning QDT and Geisel’s never going to take the damn thing from me. I’m not going to offer him off-colored ham or ask him to talk for trees, but I will knock every one of those goddamn teeth down his throat. Teddy’s going to need to collect his shit for a few days if he wants to put his original teeth back in his mouth.
That’s, uh, graphic.
After that, Knight, right? His biggest win came when he had the advantage of being an unannounced opponent. Well, he’s announced for this one, and I’m not surprised. Simply put: he’s fucked. Dangerous, but one thoroughly fucked boi.
Then the most recent champion, Jaice Wilds. That guy stepped in to the 201 roster in a self-deluded effort to breathe legitimacy into the division. To bring 201 some star power… Well, I’ve got a question for Jaice. How’d that go for you? How did your illustrious title reign feel? The only things shorter than your title run are my dick and the time between when that Battle Royal starts and the time I throw your ass out of the ring. If you can’t defend your championship even one time, what do you really bring to the table? Nothing.
You have a…?
Look, here’s the rundown on the rest...
Vega: He’s still here?
Stein: I thought she was off blowing Vega.
Koji: Less than worthless.
Kelley: I’ve seen thicker yard sticks, and I’ve never had any trouble breaking those damn things in half.
Spicy: I’m more intimidated by the idea of losing the battle to curry shits than I am of losing to that walking billboard.
Edwards: Don’t you need to actually accomplish something before the front office allows you to play with the adults?
Cage: I guess the Fred Durst fashion show circuit is entering the off season and he’s back again.
Well, there you have it, I guess. Monster, good luck to you, and good luck to Blackstone. I think I speak for everyone when I say I hope to all that is holy that he is able to keep his clothes on tonight.
The scene fades as the camera zooms in on Ms. Monster’s sinister snarl.
Jenna: Jenna Bauer here for this week’s AW Internet Exclusive with Ms. Monster!
The shot widens to find Ms. Monster standing alone beside Jenna.
Ms. Monster, uh, you seem to be missing something. Where’s Blackstone?
Monster stares a hole in Jenna before groaning out a response.
MM: He’s putting on a dress.
Will you be ringside with Blackstone for his match tonight?
Are you really going to interview me about my manager’s match?
Uhhh, no…?
Good.
...You’ve got 10 opponents this week.
The whole division.
Shall we do some word association?
Fine.
Koji?
...
Do you know how this works?
I don’t associate anything with a man who has never made an impression on anyone.
Preston Edwards.
...Look, Jenna. I’m not going to bullshit you. You can rattle off all the names that aren’t Jaice, Knight, and Geisel, and the response is all the same: they mean less than the paper their contracts are written on. I can’t be bothered to give even one shit about them. Jaice, Knight, and Geisel though? I have some thoughts.
Why do those stand out to you?
Because aside from me and the champ, they are the only names worth shit in this division, the ones worth my consideration. They are the only real threats.
Threats to you or to win the match?
The match. There isn’t a single one of these professionals who could hope to threaten me. Jenna, I’m undefeated for a reason. I am the best hope this company has for a 201 champion that can hold their own in this division and others. Teddy raps... Great. Rhyming doesn’t win matches. The only hope this kid has at the 201 belt is if somehow I don’t win this #1 Contender Battle Royal, because when I do, I’m dethroning QDT and Geisel’s never going to take the damn thing from me. I’m not going to offer him off-colored ham or ask him to talk for trees, but I will knock every one of those goddamn teeth down his throat. Teddy’s going to need to collect his shit for a few days if he wants to put his original teeth back in his mouth.
That’s, uh, graphic.
After that, Knight, right? His biggest win came when he had the advantage of being an unannounced opponent. Well, he’s announced for this one, and I’m not surprised. Simply put: he’s fucked. Dangerous, but one thoroughly fucked boi.
Then the most recent champion, Jaice Wilds. That guy stepped in to the 201 roster in a self-deluded effort to breathe legitimacy into the division. To bring 201 some star power… Well, I’ve got a question for Jaice. How’d that go for you? How did your illustrious title reign feel? The only things shorter than your title run are my dick and the time between when that Battle Royal starts and the time I throw your ass out of the ring. If you can’t defend your championship even one time, what do you really bring to the table? Nothing.
You have a…?
Look, here’s the rundown on the rest...
Vega: He’s still here?
Stein: I thought she was off blowing Vega.
Koji: Less than worthless.
Kelley: I’ve seen thicker yard sticks, and I’ve never had any trouble breaking those damn things in half.
Spicy: I’m more intimidated by the idea of losing the battle to curry shits than I am of losing to that walking billboard.
Edwards: Don’t you need to actually accomplish something before the front office allows you to play with the adults?
Cage: I guess the Fred Durst fashion show circuit is entering the off season and he’s back again.
Well, there you have it, I guess. Monster, good luck to you, and good luck to Blackstone. I think I speak for everyone when I say I hope to all that is holy that he is able to keep his clothes on tonight.
The scene fades as the camera zooms in on Ms. Monster’s sinister snarl.