Post by Psico on Feb 11, 2018 23:41:29 GMT -5
Ladies, gentlemen, & lolis of legal ages. Welcome to the first Action Wrestling promo of Mr. Minimal Effort. You want to buy a kilo of effort? WELL I AIN’T GOT THAT MUCH! However, if you’d like to buy some kilos of other things then we may be able to work something out. Completely legal things of course. Like cocaine. Wait, no, that’s illegal. I meant porn, yeah, that’s legal to sell. Anyway back to what I was saying though. Welcome to the first Action Wrestling promo of Mr. Minimal Effort. Protect your anus at all times & keep your arms inside the vehicle. Do that & you should be fine. Now what exactly does Mr. Minimal Effort mean? Exactly what you think it does. I’m going to be the last guy in the gym & the first guy to leave. Adrian Peterson’s nickname is all day while mine would be more like half day with a thirty minute break. Wait, I know what you’re thinking. Gasp! He’s not taking this seriously. Gasp! He’s underestimating his opponents. Gasp! HE’S DEFILING THE SANCTITY OF THE WRESTLING INDUSTRY!
Speaking of tits, how about calming yours people? When you’re an eagle you can soar effortlessly & still get the job done. When you’re a hummingbird you have to put in twice the effort just so that you can hover around like a glorified insect. You see, that’s the difference between me & everybody else. They’re working so hard because they have to & I’m not BECAUSE I DON’T! It’s a pretty simple concept to grasp really. I show up, I slap a couple of people in the face with my Psico stick, & I walk out with victories. This isn’t a new formula. It’s what I’ve always done. But guess what?
What can I say? I am to the wrestling industry what Smile.dk is to the music industry. That’s right, I’M THE GREATEST! Don’t besmirch the name of Smile.dk either. I will punch you in the dick. If you don’t have one I will drug you & have you sex changed just so that I can punch you in the dick. But enough about me, I think it’s time that we talk about my opponents.
Keg? BRO! You’re still alive? I’m sure I’m not the only one who had that reaction when I saw his name on the roster. A reaction that was immediately followed by…. “I wonder how long he’ll stick around this time?” Those are the types of reactions that the name Keg draws because at this point his name might as well be “Flake”. I may be Mr. Minimal Effort but this guy is Mr. No Effort At All. My prediction? He doesn’t drop a promo & he doesn’t make it out of Vegas without me leaving a mushroom shaped bruise on his forehead. Then he slithers off into the abyss like he always does.
Danielle Wynter & I have already traded words via the inter webz. That was enough for me to determine that dis ho be trippin. Apparently I was punked when she said I wore a mask because my face was ugly. Is that what passes as being punked these days? Using an insult that has been used against masked wrestlers 289,995,859,504,309 times. Let me tell you Wynter, such punked, much embarrassed, wow. If that’s the level of intelligence that you’re hiding behind that false bravado of yours then this is going to be a cake walk.
Jay Frost & Zero? One of them is a bizaro world off brand version of me while the other is a card carrying member of NAMBLA. If Jay Frost get's in my way he's going to get baptized but not in the way that he wants. In the way where I hit him so hard that he astrally projects and then I dick whip his soul into the 12th row. As for Zero, c'mon. Him beating me would be like Leader 1 beating Optimus Prime. Yeah....