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Post by Beau Del Sol on Aug 19, 2018 17:13:38 GMT -5
Any advice? What do you guys think... a little worried I’m doing the cowboy gimmick to genuine for people to enjoy it who know nothing about what I’m writing.
Please tell me if it’s entertaining, if the RP topic sucked or the RP in general all advice is welcome. Wanted a critique as my first story with Bullfrog!
Thanks in advance. Really need the advice guys and gals!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2018 0:07:58 GMT -5
Without beating around the bush, this was a decent start for Beau Blaze! My favorite part was definitely the CD. I like the backstory, and using your opponent's nickname for the bull was a fun approach. Your shoot, however, could have been better. Now, I like the way Beau words things. The cowboy vibe is definitely there, and his voice is present, and stands out. The problem is that this felt like a response shoot, which I'm not a big fan of. I understand that he's a new character, so all you had was his bio and a short fake Twitter exchange, but he was dealt the same hand, and used what he could to shoot on Beau. So, next time, keeping an even playing field, especially since you're a face, is a more optimal way to go. My other issue with your shoot was that it seemed a bit rushed, which is understandable, because I've had to pull off some rush jobs myself. But this brought out a bit too much repetition and poor grammar at points, which made the shoot harder for me to read.
So, to summarize, your CD was solid, and your shoot had some goodness to it, but it needed a bit of refinement, and it could've done without the response bits. This was a decent RP overall, though, and it got me excited to see more of Beau Blaze! I really like the concept, and I think you can execute it well. I look forward to reading more from you!
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Post by Beau Del Sol on Aug 20, 2018 8:51:36 GMT -5
Thanks L and the shoot was rushed and I was running off NO sleep lol. Much appreciated!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2018 11:31:39 GMT -5
Haha! I gotcha! Looking forward to seeing more from you then! Good stuff overall. 😊
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T.F.K.
Professional Wrestler
Tailor Made For Greatness
Posts: 549
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Post by T.F.K. on Aug 21, 2018 7:01:12 GMT -5
As I told you in the chat, I dig you writing face. Beau is just a good ol boy cowboy at heart and I can see his bull riding approach to wrestling as a good story. I imagine him taking on men much bigger than him and comparing his challenges to some Tall Tale worthy stories about massive bulls in his neck of the woods. The thing I like about this character compared to Frost is the fact that he's relatable... I know I said that and others may have scratched their heads, but I saw Frost as too over the top with his entrance all the way to some of his "cinematic" esque promos. I think Beau is grounded in the real world and I see win or lose, you can always revert back to his bull riding with life lessons. I mean Bull riders thrive on the excitement of the ride and if they get bucked off(lose a match) they learn from it and they dig down deeper. I guess this was more of my praise of the character so far instead of the rp, probably because i feel L hit on some crucial pieces already. I too am not a fan of rebuttal rps and the shoot could've been more forthcoming. As I said, I dig his voice and I like the dad character, in a way It's the approach I have with Jefferson King to TFK, just I see Jefferson way more sleazy. Lol I look forward to digging more in the brain of the Bullfrog and I'm glad you explained why he had the nickname because I honestly had no idea before the rp. Keep it going brother and feel free to reshare the love of feedback.
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