|
Post by Beau Del Sol on Feb 7, 2018 21:14:53 GMT -5
Priest of Sodomy
Nun: Father?
[The door to the confessional swung open as a young teenage boy ran toward the entrance of the church and Father Jay Frost came out tucking in his shirt a half burnt cigarette hanging loosely from his lips.]
Nun: Oh my goodness Father Jay!
Jay: Goddamnit Gertrude what have I told you about bothering me when I'm talking to God?
Gertrude: But Father that seem-
Jay: Seemed what Gertrude? He wants to be an Altair Boy he was just filling out his Catholic application and I was asking our Savior for his advice. You'd understand this is you were as close to the Holy Spirit as me.
[Jay walked past the Holy Water dropping his cigarette in it as Gertrude, the nun, followed him through the church. Frost headed to his office as the organ began to echo throughout the church.]
Jay: Jeez it's the middle of the week Gertrude can't the Choir director get the music notes to Hells Bells or at least the beat to that Magic Mike movie?
Gertrude: I don't think the lord would appreciate that in his house.
[Gertrude was soft spoken and Jay looked back at her agitated. She was hot on his heels which got under his skin even more. Sometimes these damn nuns were devoted to Him.]
Jay: Listen Gertrude I'm going in my office now is there something you need or are you just lonely this afternoon?
Gertrude: Actually you got a letter from something called Action Wrestling. If you don't mind my asking what's Action Wrestling?
Jay: It's A to the Dub Gertrude. The Lord asked me to be apart of it to exorcise and extract any demons within this sinful hell hole. Plus I've got to hold John's hand.
Gertrude: John! Oh my John is back! You do need to pray over his poor soul!
Jay: No shit.
[Jay took the letter from Gertrude and took the pic comb out of his afro brushing through it as he looked over the envelope.]
Jay: Alright I need to go take care of a few things then I'm going on a short missionary to the most sinful place in America, Las Vegas. He has spoken and I need to go there and complete my mission. I will need 5 gallons of holy water, a couple carton of Pall Malls, the New and Old Testament and any other bible we have in non-English literature. That should do it. I'll be leaving in the Hearst in a couple of hours.
[Frost walked into his office shutting the door taking a deep breath and tossing his pic comb onto the desk. He sat down to an open bible, a miniature statue of Jesus on the cross, a joint casually leaned against it, a lamp, and an ashtray filled with roaches and cigarette butts. Leaning back he opened the envelope reading the contents it held inside.]
Frost: What a welcoming invitation. I hope AW is ready as I am the Lord's American Luche Libre. I was also, until now, a hidden indie wrestler. Now the rest of you cunts in my division all need the Holy Spirit and I shall cleanse your souls Monday night. We all seem to be from different walks of life and I don't know or give a shit about any of you. Come and let me baptize and pray over all you heathens. In God's name, Amen.
|
|