Post by Dionysus on May 28, 2023 3:15:29 GMT -5
My breathing was labored. Per Alastor's instruction, I kept my eyes shut tight while I attempted to meditate. His cohorts slapping their hands on anything they could get ahold of certainly did not provide me with the peace and clarity I was looking for in that moment. "I need a minute," I said, opening my eyes and rubbing the soreness out of them. "The noise was too much of a distraction." Alastor shook his head. "Your mind requires focus," he stated cryptically. "In order to do so, distraction is all but necessary." I looked over at Ebb and Flow, who each held a plastic barrel in their laps and looked as though they were playing them like hand drums. "So that," I said, gesturing toward the duo, "is necessary to obtain clarity of thought?" Alastor slowly turned to look at the pair, then turned back to face me, stating, "...Perhaps a break would suffice." He waved his hand, and the pair set their buckets on the ground, leaving toward the next room. Alastor stood before me, crossing his legs and sitting down, looking me in the eye. "There is something on your mind. Tell me." Dionysus looked back at him. "I know you are looking to help me achieve my own goals in Action Wrestling, but...what other stake do you have here?" "Ahh, you wish to challenge your guide," Alastor accused. "Genuine curiosity, nothing more," I replied, holding my hands up in innocence. He did not seem upset at my question...though Alastor was also difficult to read. "I mean, you have already said there are others who share in the same ideals. So why have me lead them? You know these ideals better than I do." Alastor looked down into his lap. "Dionysus...you are a ship in need of a sail. A horse in need of reins. I am that sail. I am those reins. I am not meant to be one that leads," he continued, looking back up at me. "I am one who is meant to be a tool to serve. I can provide you with as much guidance as you desire, and you may choose to either ignore that guidance or follow it to the latter. However, regardless of your choices, whether they are righteous or damning, I will always withhold judgment. I will only abide by your command." I nodded, replying, "In that case, continue to find these others. I wish to do this in peace...alone." In silent acceptance, Alastor stood, also exiting the room. I contemplated his words as my eyes closed once more, focusing on nothing more than my breathing. A ship was sturdy but would require a crew to maintain it...surely I'm not only seen as a vessel...or perhaps he means that I was in need of direction and motivation to move forward...and this I have now. All it took was realizing what my father really was. ...Come to think of it, why was I even fixated on finding him? That passing thought lead into nothingness, having obtained a serene peace in which to be alone in my thoughts... There has been a darkness that clouded my mind for many months. Years, even. I quickly saw those closest around me leave me behind, knowing their own ambitions and chasing their own dreams. Where did that leave me? Dionysus? It left me broken. Battered. In need of new direction. Elysium provided the guiding light. And through Elysium, I have regained my focus and strength. I have found those who genuinely have my best interest at heart. Those that will go to the ends of the Earth to see my ambitions become manifest. Those who, even in the short time that I have known them, are willing to follow me and care about me. Knowing the history of this place, I want to make assurances. We are not Philidor. We are not here to take over from the top down and institute our own brand of order into Action Wrestling. Rather, we are here to care. We open our arms wide to those who want to hear what we have to say. No kool-aid to drink, no Scientology-esque backstory. Just clarity, wisdom, and peace. Nothing more, nothing less. To prove this, I will endeavor to be victorious on Clash...in the main event, no less. The old me would see my name next to someone like Billy Ray Cash and assume the absolute worst. A man who is essentially a dying breed, hailing from a now defunct federation, holding a title that may as well be worth the carboard that foil is now strapped to. But now? All I see is a man worthy of pity. Even when considered to be undisputed, you remain a disappointment. Even last week, when opportunity was before you, you failed to claim it. However, that does not mean you cannot be redeemed. I was once like you; burdened with a desire for success, and not finding true happiness. And finding my way was the only solution available. I will act as your guide. I will show you what you are capable of achieving once peace has been obtained. And these hopes may also be yours, Joule. The latest addition to the Action Wrestling flock. A victory on your debut, and a main event feature to boot. The prospects are high for you early on in your tenure here. It fills me with joy...and yet, a sadness still lingers. You see the sky being your limit, an understandable and admirable gaze to hold. But the sorrow comes in not knowing what else...or in this case, who else...is around you. All vying for that same goal; of leaving their mark, of obtaining glory, of making their name mean something. You say you do not require your gods to provide you the guidance to succeed...in which case, what do they exist for? To embrace you when you lose? Guidance, in all its forms, is a necessary component of achieving any goal. To shirk from that guidance, especially in scenarios where you desire to win, will inevitably result in failure. Why take that chance? Put simply, it speaks of the same bravado that many hopefuls that come through these doors all see; the bright lights, the glamour, the energy and the rush. But just out of sight is the inevitable grip of darkness that everyone who passes through the threshold will inevitably see. The moment of "what am I doing wrong." For some, this moment fades quickly. For others, they hit the moment and realize the door is still behind them, never fully closed. If you intend to remain here, you must steel yourself with the courage that only comes from experiencing failure. Otherwise it will swallow you whole, leaving you with bitter resentment. A ripple in a still pond is caused by a disruption to the status quo. I act as that disruption. Whether that disruption is for good or for evil remains in the eye of the beholder. All I know how to be...is me. And us. Elysium is calling. |