Post by Dandy DiVito on Dec 16, 2021 15:47:46 GMT -5
At the DiVito mansion, the brothers sit in the old familiar office space of their father.
“How was that?”
“Honestly, Dick, you a fuckin’ natural.”
A smile creeps across Richard’s face as Dandy praises him.
“I felt good about it. To get those people so pissed off that they’d throw shit at me? I might not know much about this wrestling world, but man… that felt like fuckin’ magic.”
Mr. DiVito enters the room.
“It was magic, son. That guy - Fehl is it? - didn’t know what to think. He assumed he was going face-to-face with the man of the hour, and then…” Mr. DiVito shrugs. “...nothin’. It was perfect.”
“What’s next?”
Dandy lets out an annoyed sigh.
“I got some bullshit match to put Corey Bull’s career out to pasture.”
Richard snickers.
“What?”
“Corey Bull? I’m still learning and all, but, uh, why are you in the ring against him? Hasn’t it been like, I don’t know, a decade or some shit since he won anything?”
Dandy shrugs.
“I guess that mad man booked it heself. Asked for the fuckin’ match anyway. Dude ain’t been able to hold my jock since the first fuckin’ month I was here.”
“What?! Are you telling me Corey Bull beat you?”
“Ain’t nobody beat me, Dick. You know that shit. But real early on in my career? Bull snuck past me an’ gave me my first fuckin’ L.”
Richard explodes in laughter. He laughs for an awkwardly long amount of time.
“Ok, ok, ok, Richard. Enough.”
Richard wipes tears away from his eyes as he struggles to regain himself.
“Ok. Yeah. Uh, sorry, I guess.”
Richard snickers again but catches himself.
“Sorry. Sorry.”
Richard chokes back another laugh while Dandy just stares a hole through him.
“You fuckin’ finished?”
Richard bites his lip fighting back laughter and nods.
“Yeah. A loss to Bull now would be fuckin’ devistatin’, but a loss to that big sack a’ assholes then? That was jus’ growin’ pains. Say what ya want about the big sumbitch, he’s been aroun’ fo’ eva fo’ some damn reason.”
Richard has an epiphany moment and snaps straight up with a deadly serious look on his face.
“It’s not for the title, right?”
“No. It ain’t fo’ the title.”
Richard relaxes again and bursts out into laughter again. Through laughter, he chokes out a few words.
“‘Cause the last thing the world needs is Corey Bull, World Champion!”
“Well that shit wouldn’t happen even if the belt was on the line.”
“...”
“What?!”
“I mean…”
Dandy rolls his eyes and shakes his head dismissively.
“No. It wouldn’t fuckin’ happen.”
Richard smirks. Mr. DiVito stares him down, and Richard loses the smirk and immediately straightens up.
“Besides, it ain’t just me in there wit’ Bull. They’s gon’ be a mystery man an’ Corey Black.”
“OHHHHHH! The kInG oF aLL wReStLeRS!”
Dandy rolls his eyes again, but this time to agree with Richard’s dismissive snark.
“Yup. The one an’ fuckin’ only.”
“Thank god, right?”
Dandy chuckles.
“I’m sure it ain’t as good as as showin’ up at 25 on some list that ain’t got enough sense to include my ass, but you know… Black’s finally decided to grace AW wit’ his royal bullshit presence instead a’ wanderin’ off into the fuckin’ ocean wit’ that fuckin’ coward Raven to fight a buncha bitches that couldn’t lace my fuckin’ Jordans. Nah, man. It’s cool. Trash belongs at the dump. Trash lives wit’ trash. He can have all a’ them cunts. I’ll jus’ be there to remind ‘im that when he comes back to AW to play in the big boys’ sandbox, he’s gonna get his shit pushed in. I mean, Christ, he took Lissie fuckin’ Hope to a draw? Lissie ain’t never been in a position that she didn’t wanna bottom fo’ some fella. Fuck. If he stank bad enough that Lissie ain’t lettin’ the baloney pony rub them bits, I…I gotta think the man’s done lost he touch.”
After a beat, Richard chimes in.
“You know, you rarely hear a good ‘baloney pony’ reference these days…”
“Unless you’re Lissie. Then that shit’s just fuckin’ Tuesday.”
Richard’s eyes narrow.
“I gotta ask, bro… Is Lissie really as much of a…loose…uh…cannon as you say or is that just locker room talk?”
Dandy looks at his brother with deathly seriousness.
“Richard. I know that fuckin’ look in your eye, man. DO. NOT. BANG. LISSIE. HOPE. She is a festerin’ pile of sores an’ brings nothin’ but disease an’ pestilence. She is a walkin’ biblical plague, but ain’t no amount of lamb’s blood in this world gonna save you from that shit. This ain’t fuckin’ Egypt. You ain’t gon’ be Moses. You pop that peen in Lissie and you gon’ be Al fuckin’ Capone.”
“Wait…Al Capone was cool though?”
Mr. DiVito chimes in with his encyclopedic knowledge of the history of organized crime.
“He died slowly and painfully from syphilis, son.”
“Oh.”
A moment.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. Eww.”
“Yeah. Eww.”
Richard swiftly moves to change the subject.
“Who’s the mystery?”
“Wouldn’t be much of a mystery opponent if I knew, would it?”
“Guesses?”
“Fuck if I know. It could be the gym sock Bull’s been crusting to hell and back since Lissie shot him down for all I know.”
Richard shudders.
“Can we get off of Lissie already?”
Dandy stares at him just blinking.
“You hear yourself just now or…?”
Richard squirms as he shudders again.
“Yeah, so anyway… I’ma be the mo’fucka to end Bull’s career with a fuckin’ loss, and it don’t mean fuck all to me that I don’t know who one of these sumbitches is gon’ be or that the king wit’ no kingdom’s gonna be. This shit is the first moment I’ma have to make my mark as the THREE TIME champ!”
The DiVito men share sly smiles and confident nods as we fade out.
“How was that?”
“Honestly, Dick, you a fuckin’ natural.”
A smile creeps across Richard’s face as Dandy praises him.
“I felt good about it. To get those people so pissed off that they’d throw shit at me? I might not know much about this wrestling world, but man… that felt like fuckin’ magic.”
Mr. DiVito enters the room.
“It was magic, son. That guy - Fehl is it? - didn’t know what to think. He assumed he was going face-to-face with the man of the hour, and then…” Mr. DiVito shrugs. “...nothin’. It was perfect.”
“What’s next?”
Dandy lets out an annoyed sigh.
“I got some bullshit match to put Corey Bull’s career out to pasture.”
Richard snickers.
“What?”
“Corey Bull? I’m still learning and all, but, uh, why are you in the ring against him? Hasn’t it been like, I don’t know, a decade or some shit since he won anything?”
Dandy shrugs.
“I guess that mad man booked it heself. Asked for the fuckin’ match anyway. Dude ain’t been able to hold my jock since the first fuckin’ month I was here.”
“What?! Are you telling me Corey Bull beat you?”
“Ain’t nobody beat me, Dick. You know that shit. But real early on in my career? Bull snuck past me an’ gave me my first fuckin’ L.”
Richard explodes in laughter. He laughs for an awkwardly long amount of time.
“Ok, ok, ok, Richard. Enough.”
Richard wipes tears away from his eyes as he struggles to regain himself.
“Ok. Yeah. Uh, sorry, I guess.”
Richard snickers again but catches himself.
“Sorry. Sorry.”
Richard chokes back another laugh while Dandy just stares a hole through him.
“You fuckin’ finished?”
Richard bites his lip fighting back laughter and nods.
“Yeah. A loss to Bull now would be fuckin’ devistatin’, but a loss to that big sack a’ assholes then? That was jus’ growin’ pains. Say what ya want about the big sumbitch, he’s been aroun’ fo’ eva fo’ some damn reason.”
Richard has an epiphany moment and snaps straight up with a deadly serious look on his face.
“It’s not for the title, right?”
“No. It ain’t fo’ the title.”
Richard relaxes again and bursts out into laughter again. Through laughter, he chokes out a few words.
“‘Cause the last thing the world needs is Corey Bull, World Champion!”
“Well that shit wouldn’t happen even if the belt was on the line.”
“...”
“What?!”
“I mean…”
Dandy rolls his eyes and shakes his head dismissively.
“No. It wouldn’t fuckin’ happen.”
Richard smirks. Mr. DiVito stares him down, and Richard loses the smirk and immediately straightens up.
“Besides, it ain’t just me in there wit’ Bull. They’s gon’ be a mystery man an’ Corey Black.”
“OHHHHHH! The kInG oF aLL wReStLeRS!”
Dandy rolls his eyes again, but this time to agree with Richard’s dismissive snark.
“Yup. The one an’ fuckin’ only.”
“Thank god, right?”
Dandy chuckles.
“I’m sure it ain’t as good as as showin’ up at 25 on some list that ain’t got enough sense to include my ass, but you know… Black’s finally decided to grace AW wit’ his royal bullshit presence instead a’ wanderin’ off into the fuckin’ ocean wit’ that fuckin’ coward Raven to fight a buncha bitches that couldn’t lace my fuckin’ Jordans. Nah, man. It’s cool. Trash belongs at the dump. Trash lives wit’ trash. He can have all a’ them cunts. I’ll jus’ be there to remind ‘im that when he comes back to AW to play in the big boys’ sandbox, he’s gonna get his shit pushed in. I mean, Christ, he took Lissie fuckin’ Hope to a draw? Lissie ain’t never been in a position that she didn’t wanna bottom fo’ some fella. Fuck. If he stank bad enough that Lissie ain’t lettin’ the baloney pony rub them bits, I…I gotta think the man’s done lost he touch.”
After a beat, Richard chimes in.
“You know, you rarely hear a good ‘baloney pony’ reference these days…”
“Unless you’re Lissie. Then that shit’s just fuckin’ Tuesday.”
Richard’s eyes narrow.
“I gotta ask, bro… Is Lissie really as much of a…loose…uh…cannon as you say or is that just locker room talk?”
Dandy looks at his brother with deathly seriousness.
“Richard. I know that fuckin’ look in your eye, man. DO. NOT. BANG. LISSIE. HOPE. She is a festerin’ pile of sores an’ brings nothin’ but disease an’ pestilence. She is a walkin’ biblical plague, but ain’t no amount of lamb’s blood in this world gonna save you from that shit. This ain’t fuckin’ Egypt. You ain’t gon’ be Moses. You pop that peen in Lissie and you gon’ be Al fuckin’ Capone.”
“Wait…Al Capone was cool though?”
Mr. DiVito chimes in with his encyclopedic knowledge of the history of organized crime.
“He died slowly and painfully from syphilis, son.”
“Oh.”
A moment.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. Eww.”
“Yeah. Eww.”
Richard swiftly moves to change the subject.
“Who’s the mystery?”
“Wouldn’t be much of a mystery opponent if I knew, would it?”
“Guesses?”
“Fuck if I know. It could be the gym sock Bull’s been crusting to hell and back since Lissie shot him down for all I know.”
Richard shudders.
“Can we get off of Lissie already?”
Dandy stares at him just blinking.
“You hear yourself just now or…?”
Richard squirms as he shudders again.
“Yeah, so anyway… I’ma be the mo’fucka to end Bull’s career with a fuckin’ loss, and it don’t mean fuck all to me that I don’t know who one of these sumbitches is gon’ be or that the king wit’ no kingdom’s gonna be. This shit is the first moment I’ma have to make my mark as the THREE TIME champ!”
The DiVito men share sly smiles and confident nods as we fade out.