Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 12, 2021 11:46:14 GMT -5
Hey there folks, narrator here back once again with another day in the life of the two gents! And let me tell you right now, they are disappointed! Let’s take you to the Gents’ workshop on Kem where Teo and Andre are looking over…a table? It’s…a normal table.
“You know what this is?” Asks Jenson excitedly.
“I’m wanting to say…a table.” Posits Teo, “Yeah, I’m gonna go with a table, can’t be sure - it could be a mimic, or some kind of Table made entirely out of Marzipan. But I’m going to go with a the original table answer.”
“Well, you can’t ever be sure about mimics, but yes this is a table. But it isn’t any old table mind you! Oho, no! This is the very same table that the Heritage allegedly put us through to win the tag titles! The very table which was complicit in us being swindled, conned, mooched even!
“Wait, how did you get it?” Asks Teo, "It was a complete wreck!"
“Well, I spared no expense, my friend. I got in touch with the arena, who put me in touch with the waste disposal company, then bought the waste disposal company and had some of the guys search for this table. I know this is the one because it had a me-sized dent in it right here.”
He points at a part of the table which is now pristine.
“After the table came to the workshop, I had master woodworkers fix it up. Looks good as new, as long as you don’t look at the underside, but who looks there?”
Teo ducks and takes a look under the table.
“Huh, so that’s where all the duct tape went”
“As I said, who looks at the underside? Either way, this table is rebuilt and we’re ready to right the wrong that we suffered at the hands of those Canadian scoundrels!”
Jenson’s voice is piqued with an uncharacteristic tinge of frustration, and as he turns to his partner he crosses his arms in thought.
“What is it about us Teo that attracts such shenanigans at every turn? Every single time we’ve lost our titles it’s because of bizarre circumstances or because the odds were stacked against us.
When we lost them last week it was because we were too nice, we didn’t prepare ourselves properly for being outnumbered by outside interference, but no, no, one thing at a time... Today, we concentrate on Canadians. When we lost to the Heritage it was because of this table that we were allegedly put through. A single well-timed lie and referee incompetence robbed us of a fantastic victory. I just couldn’t stand it!
You know I’m a sucker for symbolism, so I had a thought. If we win our match this week, we are putting those guys through this, if only to make me feel better, and symbolic because it represents us rebuilding and going again.
You see, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, whenever there is a setback, whenever things go wrong, whenever things happen that we just don’t like, we accept it, move on and get better, rebuilding on the foundations we already have laid down.
This table is a perfect example of that, yes underneath it is patched up with duct tape. Yes the cracks have been filled in and it looks in bad shape at the moment, but you know what? When the glue has dried, when the duct tape comes off this table will be more sturdy than it once was.
Then we’re gonna put the Canadians through it! What better way to move on from the past than with a symbolic destruction of the thing that beat us once before?”
“The Heritage?”
“No, they didn’t beat us. They didn’t even touch us! This Table beat us, and I won’t let it get away with it!”
“But Jenson, while I certainly agree that it will be fun to watch them pick pine splinters out of their maple leaf adorned backsides, didn’t we already put the Heritage in our rear view? We beat them in like 10 seconds the last time we faced them in a fair fight.”
“Then we’ll have to beat them in 9 this time Teo! Always improve, never regress. We need to bounce back and put out a statement that we are not going anywhere, we’re just as dangerous, just as united and just as marketable as we’ve ever been!
The best way we can do that is go out there on Monday, take our frustrations out on the Canadians and stake our claim to be the next challengers for those cruiserweight tag team titles. After all, we’ve got a busy schedule, a Christmas special and Cruiserclash! And to start that party, we’re gonna give the world an early present by leaving those Canuck-leheads with redder faces than the aforementioned maple leaves!”
Jenson slaps the table with a force, wobbling it slightly, but the reconstruction holds in spite of the loud noise. Teo grins at his partner as he examines the handiwork.
“You know buddy, I gotta admit, you’ve come up with a heck of a symbolic gesture here. Truth be told that victory never quite sat well with me. The Heritage was put in the record books on the mother of all technicalities, and even though they spent the next seven days praying that Dark Dynasty would hold us back from them, well, we all know how that worked out.
I know it may not be particularly Gentlemanly to say, but frankly I feel that knocking around those two chumps will be exactly the palate cleanser we need before we go into Cruiserhavoc to reclaim what is ours. But when you’re right, you’re right. The Heritage has not yet paid sufficiently for the wrong they committed on the Gents, on the fans, on the history of those belts! And frankly, who better to deliver that payback than the duo who has represented this division since our formation?”
“We’re Champions of the division by the classical definition, whether we currently possess the belts or not!”
“But some things? Some things are not about championships. Some grudges are personal, and if the Heritage had beaten us clean as a sheet for those belts? If they had stood up and shook our hand afterward? Hell, we’d probably be sending them Christmas cards.”
“But that’s not what they’re about, is it?”
“Nope. Since those two have walked into this ring, they’ve been about three things in equal measure.”
“Number one!”
“Using those big mouths to try and sell the world on their abilities, embellishing and aggrandizing every single thing they’ve ever done to the point that they try to sound like mythical heroes!”
“Aaaand number two!”
“Proceeding to completely fall flat on their faces at every opportunity given, only fighting when they are actually forced to, and barely able to keep themselves from tapping out to a headlock!”
“Don’t tell me, it’s number three!”
“Making excuses to justify every single failure. Blaming management, calling their opponents cheaters, saying that they weren’t ready. Hell, I’m surprised that they haven’t used food poisoning as an excuse yet!”
“That’s not the Canadian way!”
“That’s their modus operandi, their way of functioning, that’s just who they are. It’s a sad package adorned with just the barest modicum of characterization to keep them from being a generic example. Do you know why we always call them the Canadians?”
“I do, but remind me anyway”
“It’s because if not for that label, if not for their homeland, there would be nothing to say about them! They’re a pair of low-down, good-for-nothing tricksters who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag with a chainsaw!”
“And they’re about to learn what it feels like to go through a table. Except in their case, they won’t have Dark Dynasty to cushion the landing.”
“But hey, boys, you should probably be thanking us. I mean when we right that wrong, put them through that table, it will be the first legitimately entertaining thing you’ve ever done.”
“Consider that a christmas present, a Secret Santa.”
“Because you won’t see it coming till it’s too late.”
With that, the Gents share a signature fist bump and return to their work. As the scene fades, the camera pans over one final shot of the reassembled table.
“You know what this is?” Asks Jenson excitedly.
“I’m wanting to say…a table.” Posits Teo, “Yeah, I’m gonna go with a table, can’t be sure - it could be a mimic, or some kind of Table made entirely out of Marzipan. But I’m going to go with a the original table answer.”
“Well, you can’t ever be sure about mimics, but yes this is a table. But it isn’t any old table mind you! Oho, no! This is the very same table that the Heritage allegedly put us through to win the tag titles! The very table which was complicit in us being swindled, conned, mooched even!
“Wait, how did you get it?” Asks Teo, "It was a complete wreck!"
“Well, I spared no expense, my friend. I got in touch with the arena, who put me in touch with the waste disposal company, then bought the waste disposal company and had some of the guys search for this table. I know this is the one because it had a me-sized dent in it right here.”
He points at a part of the table which is now pristine.
“After the table came to the workshop, I had master woodworkers fix it up. Looks good as new, as long as you don’t look at the underside, but who looks there?”
Teo ducks and takes a look under the table.
“Huh, so that’s where all the duct tape went”
“As I said, who looks at the underside? Either way, this table is rebuilt and we’re ready to right the wrong that we suffered at the hands of those Canadian scoundrels!”
Jenson’s voice is piqued with an uncharacteristic tinge of frustration, and as he turns to his partner he crosses his arms in thought.
“What is it about us Teo that attracts such shenanigans at every turn? Every single time we’ve lost our titles it’s because of bizarre circumstances or because the odds were stacked against us.
When we lost them last week it was because we were too nice, we didn’t prepare ourselves properly for being outnumbered by outside interference, but no, no, one thing at a time... Today, we concentrate on Canadians. When we lost to the Heritage it was because of this table that we were allegedly put through. A single well-timed lie and referee incompetence robbed us of a fantastic victory. I just couldn’t stand it!
You know I’m a sucker for symbolism, so I had a thought. If we win our match this week, we are putting those guys through this, if only to make me feel better, and symbolic because it represents us rebuilding and going again.
You see, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, whenever there is a setback, whenever things go wrong, whenever things happen that we just don’t like, we accept it, move on and get better, rebuilding on the foundations we already have laid down.
This table is a perfect example of that, yes underneath it is patched up with duct tape. Yes the cracks have been filled in and it looks in bad shape at the moment, but you know what? When the glue has dried, when the duct tape comes off this table will be more sturdy than it once was.
Then we’re gonna put the Canadians through it! What better way to move on from the past than with a symbolic destruction of the thing that beat us once before?”
“The Heritage?”
“No, they didn’t beat us. They didn’t even touch us! This Table beat us, and I won’t let it get away with it!”
“But Jenson, while I certainly agree that it will be fun to watch them pick pine splinters out of their maple leaf adorned backsides, didn’t we already put the Heritage in our rear view? We beat them in like 10 seconds the last time we faced them in a fair fight.”
“Then we’ll have to beat them in 9 this time Teo! Always improve, never regress. We need to bounce back and put out a statement that we are not going anywhere, we’re just as dangerous, just as united and just as marketable as we’ve ever been!
The best way we can do that is go out there on Monday, take our frustrations out on the Canadians and stake our claim to be the next challengers for those cruiserweight tag team titles. After all, we’ve got a busy schedule, a Christmas special and Cruiserclash! And to start that party, we’re gonna give the world an early present by leaving those Canuck-leheads with redder faces than the aforementioned maple leaves!”
Jenson slaps the table with a force, wobbling it slightly, but the reconstruction holds in spite of the loud noise. Teo grins at his partner as he examines the handiwork.
“You know buddy, I gotta admit, you’ve come up with a heck of a symbolic gesture here. Truth be told that victory never quite sat well with me. The Heritage was put in the record books on the mother of all technicalities, and even though they spent the next seven days praying that Dark Dynasty would hold us back from them, well, we all know how that worked out.
I know it may not be particularly Gentlemanly to say, but frankly I feel that knocking around those two chumps will be exactly the palate cleanser we need before we go into Cruiserhavoc to reclaim what is ours. But when you’re right, you’re right. The Heritage has not yet paid sufficiently for the wrong they committed on the Gents, on the fans, on the history of those belts! And frankly, who better to deliver that payback than the duo who has represented this division since our formation?”
“We’re Champions of the division by the classical definition, whether we currently possess the belts or not!”
“But some things? Some things are not about championships. Some grudges are personal, and if the Heritage had beaten us clean as a sheet for those belts? If they had stood up and shook our hand afterward? Hell, we’d probably be sending them Christmas cards.”
“But that’s not what they’re about, is it?”
“Nope. Since those two have walked into this ring, they’ve been about three things in equal measure.”
“Number one!”
“Using those big mouths to try and sell the world on their abilities, embellishing and aggrandizing every single thing they’ve ever done to the point that they try to sound like mythical heroes!”
“Aaaand number two!”
“Proceeding to completely fall flat on their faces at every opportunity given, only fighting when they are actually forced to, and barely able to keep themselves from tapping out to a headlock!”
“Don’t tell me, it’s number three!”
“Making excuses to justify every single failure. Blaming management, calling their opponents cheaters, saying that they weren’t ready. Hell, I’m surprised that they haven’t used food poisoning as an excuse yet!”
“That’s not the Canadian way!”
“That’s their modus operandi, their way of functioning, that’s just who they are. It’s a sad package adorned with just the barest modicum of characterization to keep them from being a generic example. Do you know why we always call them the Canadians?”
“I do, but remind me anyway”
“It’s because if not for that label, if not for their homeland, there would be nothing to say about them! They’re a pair of low-down, good-for-nothing tricksters who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag with a chainsaw!”
“And they’re about to learn what it feels like to go through a table. Except in their case, they won’t have Dark Dynasty to cushion the landing.”
“But hey, boys, you should probably be thanking us. I mean when we right that wrong, put them through that table, it will be the first legitimately entertaining thing you’ve ever done.”
“Consider that a christmas present, a Secret Santa.”
“Because you won’t see it coming till it’s too late.”
With that, the Gents share a signature fist bump and return to their work. As the scene fades, the camera pans over one final shot of the reassembled table.