Post by Bad Ass Bob on Oct 10, 2021 5:07:58 GMT -5
Veronica Anderson pulls up in her pink convertible to the sight of a heavily sweating Badass Bob swinging a massive battle ax again and again into a mighty oak.
When you said you were working out I assumed you meant a gym..
You assumed wrong. Any asshole can go to a gold's gym and lift weights. You want a badass workout you go to the forest and you take our your rage against nature itself. Believe me I have a lot of rage.
Understandable. But now we have to spin your recent losing streak. We could blame your partner.
Fuck no! I thought I was gonna be raging against Alex but he surprised me. He fought his ass off last week. I have a whole new respect for Alex Scott after that. This week I'm fixing to demand some respect myself. I heard those fucking assclowns in Dark Dynasty talking about how they call me BA Bob because they don't think believe I'm a badass. I ain't no fake.. I ain't no fraud. It's not like I was making up fake tag title reigns I ain't even earned like some people huh Hix? I went in the ring last week and I showed Dark Dynasty what a badass really is. Now I'm really going to hammer home that point this week against Eli.
Besides we all know he's a fucking fuck anyways. Because neither of them wanted any part of Bob last week. Did they come after me? Nope.. they targeted my partner because they knew they didn't want any part of the badass. Eli didn't beat me.. he didn't even come come close to beating me! Kind of like how he didn't come close to winning the tag titles against the Gents. He's nothing but a blowhard who talks a big game but has zero possiblity of actually backing it up. I may not be undefeated but at least I'm not a delusional fuck who tries to convince people of my skills that don't actually exist! Last week Eli would have lost to a tag team who hated each other if the Schlorg Assmunchers didn't get involved. Does that seem like someone who's destined for anything great to you? He didn't even try and beat me last week which means that he knows he's boned this week after he has to face me in a triple threat singles match. Last week I kicked the crap outta both members of Dark Dynasty. Is it a stretch for me to claim I can certainly do that to one of them? Didn't think so!
Don't even get me started on Andre Jansen because I may be even more pissed off at him! When we faced off in the Survivor match he had the nerve to say I've gone through my whole career basically coming up short whenever he faces anyone and my whole career was just humiliating losses. You know why I'm a badass and you're not Jansen? Because every week I'll fight my ass off against whoever is unlucky enough to get matched against me. Can you say the same? No.. because while I still fight win or lose.. you gave up the fight. You realized you couldn't hack it on your own so you decided to freeload off your more talented partner. Teo Blaze is the last WCF world champion. How many singles titles have you ever won? You're just like Hix.. you guys should form a tag team. Because you want to act like you're better then me without actually putting in the work or actually having the skills. You have no partner to rely on Andre this week and facing Bob is going to worse luck for them then your cursed dice ever were you nerdy fuck. I'm fixing to make both of you eat your words hen you have to explain why Badass Bob kicked your asses in this triple threat match. I end the losing streak.. and I make two arrogant fucks eat their words. You both secretly know I'm a badass and you won't be able to hide from the truth when I pin both you fuckers at the same time.