Post by DCGAS on Oct 6, 2021 20:05:36 GMT -5
“Sup, Hazard?”
Pause. Beat.
“Ah fuck, give me a minute. We’re out of focus here. Lemme tap it a few time--”
“HONK, THAT’S WHAT YOUR MOM SAID!”
“WE GOT THE SAME MOTHER, DUMBASS.”
“PROVE IT IN COURT.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK TO SENDING PICTURES OF YOUR TITS TO MALLORY!”
Pause. Beat.
“Sorry, about that.’
Finally, Johnnie was coming back into frame as she whacked the side of the camera, squinting as she lifted it up to take in her leather jacket clad form in all of its degenerate glory. “Theeere we go. Sup, Goslings? How you doin’ there, eh? Wanna listen in to what I’m about to tell Tricky-Vikki-Fontenot? Cool. First though, peep the belt buckle.” Quickly lowering the camera to show off the leather belt that lynched her jeans to her waist, showing off the silver buckle that was goose shaped and centered with a sapphire. “Yeah, it’s a honkin’ change from the B.A.M.H. buckles, y’know, Bad Ass Mother Honkers, but we feel that a buckle’s needed for all occasions, y’know? So fuck it. That’s my merch shill today.”
Annnd, she was swinging the camera back up to face her pretty mug, jokingly floofing up her hair before she slowly faded her expression into something more serious.
“Fuckin’ crazy, right? I hit you with everything I had, Tricky-Vikki. I hit you with everything I had, and didn’t have, and you barely went down and stayed that way. That’s somethin’ else, something I can’t even knock. Here I was, thinking this’d be a one hitter quitter and I’d tattoo your chromosomes so god-honking-hard that both your ancestors and descendants would feel that shit rumbling down the ol’ genetic line in two separate directions but holy shit! Holy honkin’ shit, my cajun ami, you almost got me.”
She tapped the side of her nose, before winking, and dropping her hand all the same.
“But almost doesn’t count, and here we are again because the powers that be want to give you another shot at the head goose in charge? Fine. Cool. Would’ve rathered spent this time beating the honk out of someone I haven’t faced before, but that’s honkin’ fine. Truth is, I kinda want another shot at yo-- Nah, honk that, I need another shot at you because I don’t want you getting this in your head that you almost won, or that it was close. I need to put you down as a definitive end. I can’t have some young rook popping off on me because he thinks he can pull off a win, because of the almosts that are probably running through his head.”
Pause. Beat. She grinned that mischievous, wide mouthed, grin at the camera.
“I mean, I think like that, but I’m a neurotic, honkin’ bitch.”
Rolling those shoulders back, she kept her eyes trained on the camera.
“You fight like my sister, it’s a style I know well, and you do it just as well as she does. I had the advantage. I have the advantage again, because I still have the experience. I can fight through broken bones, cracked ribs, torn up muscles. I’m sure you can too, I’m sure you have, even. You just never did it in a professional capacity, against a bitch as mean as I am, so I’m not hating, Hazard. If anything, I’m kinda honkin’ excited, even if I wasn’t initially. I can’t honkin’ WAIT to see what you do in your career. I need you to know this, because I need you to know that win or lose, you’re gonna go far. That was your professional match against a goose who’s used to abuse, and you nearly beat me in a way that was obtuse.”
Did she know she rhymed? Peep that grin still on her face, she absolutely honkin’ knew.
“Let’s pull off an encore, and let’s see if you can change the tempo to your victory dance, Buddy.”
Pause. Beat. She shot the finger guns at the camera before..
“HEY CHARLIE, CATCH!”
The sounds of honking, cursing, and immediate footsteps off camera suggested that she just chucked the camera at her twin!
Pause. Beat.
“Ah fuck, give me a minute. We’re out of focus here. Lemme tap it a few time--”
“HONK, THAT’S WHAT YOUR MOM SAID!”
“WE GOT THE SAME MOTHER, DUMBASS.”
“PROVE IT IN COURT.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK TO SENDING PICTURES OF YOUR TITS TO MALLORY!”
Pause. Beat.
“Sorry, about that.’
Finally, Johnnie was coming back into frame as she whacked the side of the camera, squinting as she lifted it up to take in her leather jacket clad form in all of its degenerate glory. “Theeere we go. Sup, Goslings? How you doin’ there, eh? Wanna listen in to what I’m about to tell Tricky-Vikki-Fontenot? Cool. First though, peep the belt buckle.” Quickly lowering the camera to show off the leather belt that lynched her jeans to her waist, showing off the silver buckle that was goose shaped and centered with a sapphire. “Yeah, it’s a honkin’ change from the B.A.M.H. buckles, y’know, Bad Ass Mother Honkers, but we feel that a buckle’s needed for all occasions, y’know? So fuck it. That’s my merch shill today.”
Annnd, she was swinging the camera back up to face her pretty mug, jokingly floofing up her hair before she slowly faded her expression into something more serious.
“Fuckin’ crazy, right? I hit you with everything I had, Tricky-Vikki. I hit you with everything I had, and didn’t have, and you barely went down and stayed that way. That’s somethin’ else, something I can’t even knock. Here I was, thinking this’d be a one hitter quitter and I’d tattoo your chromosomes so god-honking-hard that both your ancestors and descendants would feel that shit rumbling down the ol’ genetic line in two separate directions but holy shit! Holy honkin’ shit, my cajun ami, you almost got me.”
She tapped the side of her nose, before winking, and dropping her hand all the same.
“But almost doesn’t count, and here we are again because the powers that be want to give you another shot at the head goose in charge? Fine. Cool. Would’ve rathered spent this time beating the honk out of someone I haven’t faced before, but that’s honkin’ fine. Truth is, I kinda want another shot at yo-- Nah, honk that, I need another shot at you because I don’t want you getting this in your head that you almost won, or that it was close. I need to put you down as a definitive end. I can’t have some young rook popping off on me because he thinks he can pull off a win, because of the almosts that are probably running through his head.”
Pause. Beat. She grinned that mischievous, wide mouthed, grin at the camera.
“I mean, I think like that, but I’m a neurotic, honkin’ bitch.”
Rolling those shoulders back, she kept her eyes trained on the camera.
“You fight like my sister, it’s a style I know well, and you do it just as well as she does. I had the advantage. I have the advantage again, because I still have the experience. I can fight through broken bones, cracked ribs, torn up muscles. I’m sure you can too, I’m sure you have, even. You just never did it in a professional capacity, against a bitch as mean as I am, so I’m not hating, Hazard. If anything, I’m kinda honkin’ excited, even if I wasn’t initially. I can’t honkin’ WAIT to see what you do in your career. I need you to know this, because I need you to know that win or lose, you’re gonna go far. That was your professional match against a goose who’s used to abuse, and you nearly beat me in a way that was obtuse.”
Did she know she rhymed? Peep that grin still on her face, she absolutely honkin’ knew.
“Let’s pull off an encore, and let’s see if you can change the tempo to your victory dance, Buddy.”
Pause. Beat. She shot the finger guns at the camera before..
“HEY CHARLIE, CATCH!”
The sounds of honking, cursing, and immediate footsteps off camera suggested that she just chucked the camera at her twin!