International Translation Day
Oct 3, 2021 9:38:44 GMT -5
Karlie Nash, Trey Bouchet, and 2 more like this
Post by Azurine Vebbins on Oct 3, 2021 9:38:44 GMT -5
This week’s promotional material opens with Azurine polishing her halo while Mrs. Leo Albright peruses paperwork. Based on its veiled verbiage, one document reads like drone-dictated drivel. Drafted by Action Wrestling’s Legal Department, it requests an entrance existence explanation for Mrs. Albright at Execution. “Da Adorkable Angel” massages her leading lady’s shoulders. Both women mull over pertinent phrasing more than hot cider steaming inside a kettle. Today’s stream takes place on International Translation Day. “Da Damsel in Dat Dress” nonverbally addresses her adversary via sporting a red kimono.
Leo Albright: In lieu of a manager’s license, please state your reason for parading around the entrance ramp and ringside. I doubt the Indiana Gaming Commision’s Athletic Division would process my application before Sunday, October 17th. Also, the talent professionally known as Azurine Vebbins, is my “emotional support spouse.”
Azurine Vebbins: Dat should be a rational reason, my leadin’ lady. Plus, at Tokyo Fite on July 25, audience members chanted “Dare ga u~ōkī o hitsuyō to shimasu ka?” Translated into English dat means “Who needs a walkie?” Since Execution takes place on National Mulligan Day, you’ll entertain everyone who enjoys such a scantily scandalous spectacle.
Leo Albright: How scandalous depends on who your opponent will be. Based on a recent breakdown of the Eliminator Tournament bracket, you’ve got a credible chance to challenge “Psychonic” Terra Walker for her Cruiserweight Championship. That would be “multe provokema” as far as papers are concerned. Of course, you’ve got three tangos…
Azurine Vebbins: Plenty provocative? Leo, when did you learn Esperanto?
Leo Albright: When working for Big Ticket Entertainment, one must be fluent in a United Nations General Assembly of diverse dialects. Plus, I thought you’d know when I sweetly spoke “Skuu vian monfariston” in your endearing ear. It happened a couple days ago during our heavily-hyped honeymoon. Then again, that kind of talk could just be tabloid titillation.
“Da Vivacious Variable” blushes when she remembers her kayfabe companion susurrating the seductive statement. Azurine admirably shifts attention back to the Eliminator Tournament. Mrs. Albright, meanwhile, quibbles over questions on the entrance application.
Azurine Vebbins: I have dree dances to determine destiny. My merengue versus Masuda Monday night makes or breaks my entry into a Semi-Final Flamenco. Since CruiserClash takes place on National Taco Day, how secure shall my shell be when Teijin tries floorin’ me wid strong style fixin’s? Da dude better not plan on platterin’ me wid soft Saito suplexes. Conversely, goin’ hard wid shoot headbutts might be equally egregious. Why? Because “Captain Call Your Shot” will be tête à tête against “Da Hardheaded Housewife.”
Leo Albright: I remember you tweeting how October 4’s also National Vodka Day and Golf Lover’s Day. Are those relatable to Monday’s match, ma joyeuse mademoiselle?
Azurine Vebbins: Imagine if he wants to include an intoxicant in our interlude, den Masuda should mist me wid Suntory Haku Vodka. Doubt deyr’s a stiffer sip dan what’s brewin’ in dat bottle. As for Golf Lover’s Day, my dainty derriere’s gonna club Teijin ’til he’s covered in dozens of dimples. Plus, he doesn’t have da swin’ or drive to knock me off course. One cannot advance to da next round by scorin’ a double bogey, y’know? Hence, after dis bird earns eagle by gettin’ da pin, I’ll need to commence choreography for my Semi-Final Flamenco. Whed-er it’s a Paul Mall Mambo or anoder Cheyenne Walker Waltz, it’s a fairway formality. I’m da only entrant for our side of dis bracket landin’ on green. As for who I’m facin’ for my final number? I’ll let Karlie Nash and Aphriya Adler sort it out.
Leo Albright: Save some of that sass for next week, Señorita Giratoria y Desmayo. 6-A. Does your entrance require local independent contractors acting as background performers? 6-B. Are you pyrotechnics proficient? 6-C. Will you need assistance returning to the backstage area? No. Yes, but it’s not applicable for our exact entrance. Provided you have an ADA-certified ramp, den I’ll require zero assistance to the backstage area. Whoever wrote these questions is like your alma mater mascot, Azurine, a ninnyhammer.
Azurine Vebbins: Agreed, Leo. Finally, to Masuda Teijin: 'Domo arigato for dis dance."
The streaming transmission transitions to an indecipherable test pattern.
Leo Albright: In lieu of a manager’s license, please state your reason for parading around the entrance ramp and ringside. I doubt the Indiana Gaming Commision’s Athletic Division would process my application before Sunday, October 17th. Also, the talent professionally known as Azurine Vebbins, is my “emotional support spouse.”
Azurine Vebbins: Dat should be a rational reason, my leadin’ lady. Plus, at Tokyo Fite on July 25, audience members chanted “Dare ga u~ōkī o hitsuyō to shimasu ka?” Translated into English dat means “Who needs a walkie?” Since Execution takes place on National Mulligan Day, you’ll entertain everyone who enjoys such a scantily scandalous spectacle.
Leo Albright: How scandalous depends on who your opponent will be. Based on a recent breakdown of the Eliminator Tournament bracket, you’ve got a credible chance to challenge “Psychonic” Terra Walker for her Cruiserweight Championship. That would be “multe provokema” as far as papers are concerned. Of course, you’ve got three tangos…
Azurine Vebbins: Plenty provocative? Leo, when did you learn Esperanto?
Leo Albright: When working for Big Ticket Entertainment, one must be fluent in a United Nations General Assembly of diverse dialects. Plus, I thought you’d know when I sweetly spoke “Skuu vian monfariston” in your endearing ear. It happened a couple days ago during our heavily-hyped honeymoon. Then again, that kind of talk could just be tabloid titillation.
“Da Vivacious Variable” blushes when she remembers her kayfabe companion susurrating the seductive statement. Azurine admirably shifts attention back to the Eliminator Tournament. Mrs. Albright, meanwhile, quibbles over questions on the entrance application.
Azurine Vebbins: I have dree dances to determine destiny. My merengue versus Masuda Monday night makes or breaks my entry into a Semi-Final Flamenco. Since CruiserClash takes place on National Taco Day, how secure shall my shell be when Teijin tries floorin’ me wid strong style fixin’s? Da dude better not plan on platterin’ me wid soft Saito suplexes. Conversely, goin’ hard wid shoot headbutts might be equally egregious. Why? Because “Captain Call Your Shot” will be tête à tête against “Da Hardheaded Housewife.”
Leo Albright: I remember you tweeting how October 4’s also National Vodka Day and Golf Lover’s Day. Are those relatable to Monday’s match, ma joyeuse mademoiselle?
Azurine Vebbins: Imagine if he wants to include an intoxicant in our interlude, den Masuda should mist me wid Suntory Haku Vodka. Doubt deyr’s a stiffer sip dan what’s brewin’ in dat bottle. As for Golf Lover’s Day, my dainty derriere’s gonna club Teijin ’til he’s covered in dozens of dimples. Plus, he doesn’t have da swin’ or drive to knock me off course. One cannot advance to da next round by scorin’ a double bogey, y’know? Hence, after dis bird earns eagle by gettin’ da pin, I’ll need to commence choreography for my Semi-Final Flamenco. Whed-er it’s a Paul Mall Mambo or anoder Cheyenne Walker Waltz, it’s a fairway formality. I’m da only entrant for our side of dis bracket landin’ on green. As for who I’m facin’ for my final number? I’ll let Karlie Nash and Aphriya Adler sort it out.
Leo Albright: Save some of that sass for next week, Señorita Giratoria y Desmayo. 6-A. Does your entrance require local independent contractors acting as background performers? 6-B. Are you pyrotechnics proficient? 6-C. Will you need assistance returning to the backstage area? No. Yes, but it’s not applicable for our exact entrance. Provided you have an ADA-certified ramp, den I’ll require zero assistance to the backstage area. Whoever wrote these questions is like your alma mater mascot, Azurine, a ninnyhammer.
Azurine Vebbins: Agreed, Leo. Finally, to Masuda Teijin: 'Domo arigato for dis dance."
The streaming transmission transitions to an indecipherable test pattern.