The deadly Canada Losers Assass squad Sept 23, 2021 20:39:16 GMT -5 Trey Bouchet and Johnny Bacchus like this
Post by Hazard on Sept 23, 2021 20:39:16 GMT -5
Hazard can be seen hanging out in his 1999 Toyota Camry, one foot up on the dash and the other hanging out of the car, he sends a quick text before looking up into the camera. “Ar- Are we filming?”
The camera quickly goes up and down to signify a yes.
“NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME! ALRIGHT FUCK IT I GUESS WERE FILMING.” Hazard throws his arms into the air, clearly pissed at the lack of warning. He motions for the camera crew to get into the car. The back seats are filled with fast food wrappers and gatorade bottles. “I would say sorry about the mess but I don’t really give a shit, cry about it if you want.” He shrugs while the camera crew gets into the car, quickly pulling off after. Looking at the man behind the camera he asks “If you got some questions you wanna ask about this match while i’m handling this bit of business, now would be the time to do it.”
The cameraman gulps, clearly made uncomfortable by Hazard's erratic personality. “How are you feeling about your upcoming match against Johnnie Sinnz of Deadly Canada Gooses Assassanation squad?”
The car suddenly brakes to a screeching halt. “The fuck is a Deadly Canada Goose Assassa-, don’t answer that I don’t wanna know, but I do know that i’m fucking excited for this fight. This is gonna be my first match in Action Wrestling so you best believe I'm gonna give this shit my all, you can bring every single one of them gooses it won’t fucking matter! You got any more dumb fucking questions you wanna ask or nah?”
“wHaT? Are you fucking deaf, you know what? Hand me that fucking camera and get the fuck out of my car!” Viktor kicks the shitty excuse for a camera crew out of his car, while jacking their camera so he can do the interview himself. “Alright that’s better, I couldn’t hear my own thoughts with those bumbling idiots moving around so much. Alright, as you already know I'm Hazard and I'm gonna be fighting Johnnie Sinnz. I know, I know I thought I was fighting the pornstar too, but sadly it’s just some fucking loser trying to get famous by leeching off of my boy’s name.” Viktor continues to drive, screaming at other drivers even if they’re in the right of way, occasionally honking his horn.
“GODDAMN PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN DON’T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE!” Viktor takes a deep breath, slowly breathing it out like a deflating balloon. “Calm down Vic, it’s alright you’ve got this” He says trying to calm himself down. “Alright, where was I? Oh right that bitch Johnnie Sinnz and her dumb fucking goose crew. What are you gonna do, Cobra Chicken? Bite me? I’d like to see you try.”
The car screeches to a halt as Viktor looks out the window, while turning his new camera to what he sees he says “Is that what I fucking think it is?! Oh this couldn’t be anymore perfect, I can finally fucking show you what happens when a canadian goose steps to Hazard.” As the camera turns, an actual Canadian goose pops up in frame, resting near a lake. Hazard gets out of the car and starts chasing the goose until he finally catches it by the neck. He brings it back into the car, still grabbing tightly onto its neck.
“So Mr. Goose, how do you feel about the deadly Canada losers Assass squad’s chances of winning this match against THE GREAT Viktor Fontenot?”
“HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!” The goose honks frantically as it tries to escape Hazard's grasp but it can’t.
“Alright that’s enough out of you.” Hazard snaps the Goose’s neck in one quick motion, killing the bird. “Ok well I think I proved my point so bye bye!” Hazard waves and smiles at the camera before turning it off.