Introducing Schizophrenia
Sept 21, 2021 22:05:50 GMT -5
Ned the Intern, Trey Bouchet, and 2 more like this
Post by schizo on Sept 21, 2021 22:05:50 GMT -5
The scene opens in a very modest apartment living room. Its a very bare place, very mismatched in decor, and not in anyway following with any sort of organization. Lets just say the feng shui is way off. But on a very plain couch we see the main characters of this story. While only one figure sits there, a tablet in hand, there are actually four stories going on simultaneously within one body. Their names are Jamie, Brea, Chrissy, and JoAnna/JoJo. Together they make up the four parts of one person who wrestles under the name Schizophrenia. And while each identifies as she/her...collectively they identify as they/them....so please respect that. Anyway... "It says he used to be on the NBC Nightly News..." Schizophrenia says to themselves out loud, looking at a tablet and smacking a piece of gum between their teeth. "That isn't the same Brian Williams Chrissy..."they responds to themselves, "And stop smacking your gum. Its annoying." Schizo huffs, "How am I supposed to know that Momma Brea? And if you want me to stop smacking my gum, then just do it." With that Schizo smacks her gum a couple more times. "Guys, can we just get back to the task at hand?" Schizo says, before spitting the gum into the trash can at their feet. "There, the gum is gone, now lets focus on the important thing, our first opponent in Action Wrestling," Schizo forcefully says to herself before swiping on the tablet. "I...I just said that." "And I made sure everyone heard it." Schizo continues to scroll through search results for "Brian Williams" on her tablet, "Ugh, so many people named Brian Williams!" "I think I found the problem guys," Schizo says to herself, before clearing the search bar and retyping "Bryan Williams". "Really? That's what was wrong?" Schizo says slapping her forehead. "Apparently, because there he is, Action Wrestling roster bio..." Schizo confirms to herself before clicking the link. "...is there anything else out there about this guy? Not very much here." Schizo asks herself. "There isn't a lot about us out there either kid." Schizo responds. So quick backstory for all you new viewers who have never had to delve into the unique mind that is Schizo. Schizo is somewhere between 30 and 40 years old, with estimates somewhere towards the later. You see, Schizo has never actually been identified, they are a Jane Doe. Where they're from, what their real name is. Nobody knows. The only things known about them is they began wrestling around 2005, and was at that point either in their late teens, or early 20s. They have no known relatives, and no one can identify them despite their being involved in wrestling shows for over a decade and a half. While there was this one other wrestler named Jeff King who tried to convince them that their name was Julian King, and they were his younger, half sister. That ended up just being a ruse. It was some real art house, independent movie plot twist bullshit that nobody liked anyway. Demonic possession, implied cannibalism, just...you know...batshit crazy stuff that everyone should just act like never happened, alright? If something did come from it, somehow King was able to use his connections to get them a birth certificate, and social security number. So for the first time since they became....uh..."them" they were able to actually make a paycheck and get a bank account and shit. So they guess it wasn't the worst thing. It allowed them to also fade back into obscurity when they wanted to and get a normal job from time to time. So yea, long story short, the government considers them Julian King. But that's strictly for purposes of being alive in society. Julian King is as much their name as Jane Doe. So why professional wrestling? Because professional wrestling is a business of characters. And is there a more outrageous character that you know of than them? Anyway, back to Schizo. They minimize and lock the screen on the tablet before placing it on the couch cushion next to themselves, not satisfied by the results of their...not entirely extensive Google search of Bryan Williams. "I can't believe we're getting back into the wrestling thing anyway guys," they say, "You know how much money we could make through Instagram modeling....or OnlyFans?" "Eww..." "Yea, we're not doing that Chrissy." "Besides, its not as fun." Schizo huffs, "I think that stuff is fun. And its a lot easier." "No Chrissy, we all have to share this body...we're not showing it off like that." "I don't even think I can legally..." "Hey, just because you're a kid...we're 30, or 40 years old...completely above board." "Chrissy, no, drop it." Schizo crosses their arms and sinks into her seat pouting, "We never do what I want to do." Schizo rolls their eyes, "What about Tijuana?" "Hey, that wasn't my fault, Bill Murray talked ALL OF US into that." Schizo nods, "She isn't completely wrong there." "I mean, who says no to going to Tijuana with Bill Murray?" "Bill Murray just happened to be there, he wasn't the reason we WERE there." "Also true." Schizo sighs, and leans back in their seat. "Does this mean Imma have to get vaccinated?" they ask. "We...we are already vaxxed." "I'm not vaxxed." "That isn't how it works." "Yea dingbat, one body, one blood stream..." "Wait...you guys got us vaxxed? When?" "Uh, remember when we told you we were getting that collagen injection." Schizo's eyes suddenly go wide, "Wait...but...how?" "Don't question it, just accept it." Schizo crosses her arms in disgust, "Joe Rogan didn't get vaxxed...I'm just saying." "Well you did, so buck up kiddo." Schizo reaches back for the tablet, "Well what made you guys decide on Action Wrestling anyway? Why not go back to S*bleep* T*bleep* or like...one of those other places we used to wrestle for?" "Because S*bleep* T*bleep* is shit, and has been shit for years." "And none of the other places we used to wrestle in are even around anymore." "Also, Sara Pettis is there, and you know, we have some connection to her." "Yea...but...do we? I feel like that has always just been implied." "Idiot, her mom trained us." "...wait...who?" "Becky...you know the woman that trained us in S*bleep* T*bleep*" "....I never realized they were related." Schizo lets out an audible sigh and they slap their forehead, "I swear you would miss the sun in the sky if you tried to find it." With that, we bring an end to this introduction to the life of the collective known as Schizophrenia. Hopefully this was insightful for you to see what it is they have to deal with on a daily basis. Many people think Schizo can be a hoot, and that they're something that takes some time to get used too. But maybe over time you'll come to understand, and enjoy. With that, we fade to Gradient |