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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:01:59 GMT -5
We're live inside the arena and no music, no pryo, Jimmy Garcia speaks about as fast as he can. Jimmy Garcia: Welcome to Cruiserclash and we're coming off the huge monumental event from Paramount+, Uprising where Terra Walker climbed the ladder and retrieved the Cruiserweight Championship..."Honeysuckle" by The Dillinger Escape Plan assaults the PA system, causing the lighting to go frantic in the process. A Terra Walker struts to the stage, draping the Action Wrestling Cruiserweight Championship over her shoulder, and wearing a spiked up face mask. She looks at the crowd, with their very mixed reaction towards the new champion, and then shrugs before marching down the ramp. Terra snatches the mic and rolls into the ring. She gets up and moves her hand across her throat a few times, causing the music to stop and the lighting to return to normal. The crowd deafen her with a mixture of cheers and boos. Terra smirks and leans on one of the turnbuckles. Terra: Are you gonna let me talk or are you gonna keep making whale noises whilst you stare at me?Some laugh, some hush, others still boo, but they quiet down enough for Terra to speak. Terra: I get it. I really do. This isn't the person that some of you wanted to see holding this belt. Addy was supposed to be your unsung hero. Unfortunately for you, life isn't a fairytale.Some of the crowd boos. Terra shrugs at them. Terra: Like I said, I get it. I wasn't originally supposed to be in that match. What you have to understand, however, is that I entered that match for good reason. I'm holding this title for good reason. I am YOUR Action Wrestling Cruiserweight Champion for damn good reason.She holds her title high, and basks in both the cheers and the boos from the crowd. Terra: The thing that everyone booing me should understand is that I'm not the one you should be upset at. Addy made a colossal mistake. She was so focused on getting vengeance on Regan that she forgot who the real threat was. They were both so busy having a hard on over each other that they didn't realize how quickly I rose to the top. I bum rushed my way through Masuda, who best shut his fat mouth by now.The crowd interrupts her with laughter. She smirks before lowering her hand at them. Terra: I've beaten Dumbass Bob and I've beaten Atara Themis. Honestly, the only times I've lost anything were when I just didn't care.She shrugs and laughs as the boos get heavier. Terra: Obviously, that didn't matter, because I worked smarter than everyone else in Cruiser Clash. When I said the clock was ticking, I meant it, and this right here is exactly why!Terra climbs up the turnbuckle and holds the title with both hands as high and she can. The crowd is still mixed, so she mocks the boos by mimicking a weeping gesture. A shot echoes through the Save Mart Center, as the split cheers for Terra Walker transition to a chorus of boos. Regan Voorhees strolls slowly through the entryway, her gait stiff following the Golden Mile ladder crash of eight days prior. Otherwise she's immaculate as usual, white-suited and hair in a perfect bun. The microphone tilts back and forth in her palm, held like a wine sifter. She teases words, but gives the boos a few more moments to die down before finally speaking. Regan: Sincerest congratulations on your ill-gotten prize. As you said, you weaseled your way into that championship match... And while I was otherwise preoccupied, weaseled your way to my championship. The opportunism, I can appreciate, but now that the ladder kerfuffle is over and done we must move forward with the question of... Just who is your first challenger?The slightest smirk creeps across Regan's crimson lips. Regan: As the previous champion, a champion whom, might I add -- you never actually defeated. Now, I'm sure you would argue that point, following your star-making performance at Uprising... But think about your detractors for a moment, Terra. The people who say, the people who think, the people who know you just got lucky. Addy, in her limited wisdom, elected to take herself out of the match in order to take me out. I don't begrudge anyone their spitefulness, but letting it get in the way of success is the mark of an idiot. You, however, are not an idiot. You know, that to silence your naysayers, you have to defeat me one-on-one. Pinfall, submission, batter me into unconsciousness. You know, the classics. Otherwise, your reign doesn't have a shred of legitimacy. Not until you vanquish me. But wait, there's more... Addy A.The crowd pops, Regan pauses, teeth digging into her bottom lip. Regan: Much to my delight, Addy couldn't make it to Fresno this evening.The pops turn to jeers, and Regan basks in them like a serpent in sunlight. Regan: In an effort to destroy me, she was willing to destroy us both. Wonderful job there, Addy. Though that wasn't the sort of experience that someone, even an athlete of my caliber, could just walk off. In fact, I daresay I'm not even one-hundred percent, Terra. Yet here I am, still willing to boldly, selflessly courageously face you for the Cruiserweight Championship here, tonight. All so we can prove which one of us actually deserves that title, with no pesky interference to get in the way. What say you... champ?Terra gives Regan the side eye. After a moment, she goes back to her smirk and shrug. Terra: I'm surprised you even have the balls to challenge me. You must be just that upset that you lost. I'll be honest. I really, really don't trust you. You have Bunga run over your challengers with a damn car, for Gods' sake. Sure, I took advantage of a situation that brought you to your demise, but hell, I did it myself. I didn't need backup. Who's to say you won't find some Bunga replacement?She ponders, but keeps her eyes on Regan. Tapping her chin with the tip of the mic, she seems to have come up with a decision. Terra: Tell you what. Although it was satisfying to watch you and Addy crumble whilst I grabbed my title, it would be even more satisfying to personally put you down. Whether it be a Brain Tremor, Magnitude 9, or a Psychonic Lockdown, I'll prove to everyone in this arena exactly why I'm better than you. The only reason you had this title was because I wasn't here yet. Now that I've arrived, you'll be lucky to even be at arms length of it.IM BAACKKKKKK theme music hits and the crowd cheers as JJ Biggs comes out right through the curtain. The music stops as Biggs waves at the crowd.
JJ Biggs: Alright, alright! Lets get this done! Tonight, our main event will be Terra Walker defending her Cruiserweight Championship against Regan Voorhees!
The crowd pops.
JJ Biggs: Now get out of the ring cause coming up right now is the #1 contenders match for the Tag Team Championships! Lets goooo!!
The crowd pops as Regan and Terra stare at each other... and we cut to a commercial break.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:07:18 GMT -5
#1 Contenders To the Cruiserweight Tag Team Championships Tonight Two Gents. vs Dark Dynasty
Ethan Miller stands in the middle of the CruiserClash ring. Ethan Miller: The following contest is a TAG TEAM MATCH, scheduled for one fall, and is for the opportunity to face the CruiserClash Tag Team Champions, the Heritage, in tonight’s main event!The crowd is on their feet, screaming their heads off! They’re quieted down by the blaring of “Insidious” by Any Given Sin, as Lochlyn Cade and Eli Hix take the stage. Ethan Miller: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 397.25 pounds… They are the team of Lochlyn Cade and Eli Hix: Dark Dynasty!The two men make their way down to the ring, not letting the resounding boos drag them away from their focus. Jimmy Garcia: Hix and Cade have been on a roll over the last few months here in AW. Tonight they have the opportunity to finally win those ever-so-elusive tag championships that have been kept from them!As Hix and Cade make it to the ring, they sit and plot in their corner. Suddenly, and without warning, the sound of trumpet fanfare echoes throughout the arena, as though a monarch is about to enter into a throne room. The brassy sound echoes on the final note, before giving way to Shining Star by Earth Wind and Fire. And it is here that the two gents finally make their appearance... Standing on the ramp together they hold up their hands, shaking their hand in time to the opening riff of the song.. The crowd hushes in anticipation as the BWAH of the first trumpet hits. The gents fist bump at this precise moment, triggering two confetti cannons which shoot into the crowd at the same time. They grin and soak in the atmosphere as one of Jenson's LARPing crew walks towards them with a brace of t-shirt cannons on a cushion. He bows in front of the stars as Teo and Jenson take the cannons then start walking toward the ring, shooting t-shirts into the crowd, forwarded by more confetti and ribbons, showering the crowd with gifts and paper. Ethan Miller: And their opponents: Making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 395 pounds. They are the team of Teo Blaze and Andre Jenson: The Two Gents!They finally reach the ring and remove their capes, stepping onto the apron and basking in the crowd's response. Katta Pult: Jimmy you touched on Dark Dynasty’s rampage through the past few months, but what about the Gents? A record 4-time CruiserClash tag champions, and they could very well catch their fifth reign here tonight!Jimmy Garcia: Yes! And I want to state that if The Gents win here, then once again tonight, then they will break the record for the most title reigns for ANY championship in Action Wrestling!With both teams now in the ring, the referee calls for the bell. Ding Ding! CruiserClash action gets underway as Andre Jenson and Lochlyn Cade start us off. The two men circle around the ring, eyeing each other down. Then, randomly, Jenson stops. He walks to the center of the ring and holds one hand up for a test of strength. Cade looks at Jenson in disbelief, but he matches the gesture, locking his hand in Jenson’s. They both put their other hands up, and the test is on. The power shifts back and forth for a few moments. Jimmy Garcia: I don’t know what’s going through Andre Jenson’s head! This is not a good idea!Katta Pult: Wait, what is Teo doing?!As Andre begins to lose the test of strength, Teo Blaze leaps over the top rope and goes behind his partner, pushing his elbows up! Jimmy Garcia: The Two Gents teaming up on Cade here in possibly the strangest way possible!The Gents struggle to match their force against Cade’s, but after a few seconds it appears Cade is beat! Until Eli Hix gets in the ring and pushes behind his own partner! Katta Pult: Jimmy, you’ve been doing this for a long time! Have you ever seen a double test of strength before?Jimmy Garcia: I can’t say that I have! In typical Gents fashion, they’ve made this a very peculiar match in the first two minutes!The double test goes on for a solid 45 seconds before the referee gets in between, making Blaze and Hix return to their corner. As the ref is distracted with the two illegal men, Cade takes the opportunity to shove his thumb directly into Jenson’s eye! Jenson stumbles back and bounces off the ropes, running directly into a belly-to-belly from Lochlyn Cade! Cade refuses to let up, pummeling Jenson until the referee can drag him off. He delivers a few stiff kicks to Jenson’s ribs before taunting the crowd. Cade walks over to the corner and tags in Eli Hix. Hix jumps the ropes and immediately gets to work on Jenson, stomping away at his limbs. Teo attempts to stop him, but the referee quickly intervenes, arguing with Teo that he needs to leave the ring. Given the opportunity, Hix drags Jenson to the corner and sets him against the bottom turnbuckle. He drives his boot into Jenson’s throat. Meanwhile, Cade has dropped from the apron and is pulling Jenson’s arms back as far as he can. Teo finally settles on the apron, and the referee turns back around to see Jenson in the bottom corner. He dashes over and starts his count. 1! Hix takes his boot away as Jenson writhes in pain. Hix taunts the crowd, angering them even more. Meanwhile, Jenson slowly gets to his feet, rubbing his neck and catching his breath. He uses the ropes as a crutch to get over to Teo as Hix is gloating. Hix turns around and nails Jenson, sending him back to the mat. Jimmy Garcia: What we’re seeing here is simply dominance. This is why Dark Dynasty has gotten as far as they have: They will stop at nothing to win!Hix grabs Jenson’s wrist and drags him closer to Teo. He holds out Jenson’s hand, just out of reach of Teo’s extended hand, taunting Teo. Katta Pult: WAIT! Teo is locking his legs in the ropes! What is he doing!Teo locks his legs in the top and middle rope, and he leans forward, toward Jenson’s hand! Jimmy Garcia: CAN HE REACH?!Katta Pult: YES!Eli Hix is stunned as Teo unhooks his feet and vaults over the top rope! He dashes at Hix and takes him down with a shoulder block! Hix is quick to his feet, and gets taken down with another! And Another! After the third one, Hix gets up and Teo hits him with a slingblade! Jimmy Garcia: Teo Blaze is on fire! Nothing is going to keep him from those Tag Team Titles!Teo sees the downed Hix and looks around at the crowd with a smile. He leaps over Hix, and in a swift motion, hits a standing moonsault! He covers for the pin! 1! 2! No! Hix gets his foot on the rope just in time. Teo gets to his feet and drags Hix away from the ropes, covering again. 1! No! Hix gets a shoulder up! Teo begins to get frustrated, and he lifts Hix to his feet, but Hix begins to fight back. Hix delivers a left hook to the ribs. A right hook. Left. Right. He finally pushes Teo away and goes for a clothesline, but Teo ducks underneath. On the rebound, Teo hits Hix with a dropkick, staggering him back into the ropes. As Hix catches his breath, Teo walks over to him and drapes his arms over the top, before pulling the middle rope over them, effectively tangling his arms into the ropes. Teo shoots back to the opposite side, and barrels towards the trapped Hix, hitting a clothesline over the ropes! But Lochlyn Cade was right there! He catches Hix on his shoulder, and places Hix on the apron, completely unbeknownst to Teo Teo takes the free time to pander to the fans, before turning around into a springboard lariat from Hix! Hix goes for the pin! 1! 2- Teo kicks out right at 2! Hix wastes no time getting to his feet, as he drags Teo over to the corner by his hair. He tags in Cade. Cade gets in, and they both deliver boots to Teo on the mat, before the referee gets to a three count and Hix leaves the ring. Cade lifts Teo to his feet and drops him immediately with a snap DDT. He goes for the cover! 1! 2! Teo kicks out at 2½, and Cade just pounds Teo a few more times. Then, he looks to Hix on the apron, and they both nod. Cade picks Teo up and takes him to the corner. He lifts Teo to the top rope, and he transfers Teo from the turnbuckle to his shoulders as Hix gets to the top rope! Hix waits atop the turnbuckle as Teo begins to fight Cade from his shoulders! Hix is about to leap, but Andre Jenson pops up on the apron next to him and tosses him off, flying down to ringside. Teo manages to best Cade, and falls back, flipping Cade onto his head! Jenson runs back to the corner! Hix is slowly making his way back to the apron as Teo is in the Gents’ corner stalking the downed Cade. Jenson pats Teo on the back to show him Hix hitting the apron. He bounces off the ropes and goes for a basement dropkick to Hix’s leg, but Hix catches him through the ropes! Jimmy Garcia: Eli Hix is reaching through the ropes, striking Teo Blaze!Katta Pult: Keep an eye on Andre Jenson!As Hix is bent over on the apron, Jenson hits the ring. He dashes towards Hix, leaping over Teo and Hix and clearing the top rope, and hitting a sunset flip, sending Hix crashing down to the outside! Teo and Cade are both working their way to their feet, Teo faster than Cade. Teo gets to his feet and sees Cade on his knee! Katta Pult: BLAZING KNEE!Teo makes the cover! But the referee refuses to make the count! Jimmy Garcia: The referee telling Teo that he is not the legal man!Katta Pult: When Jenson directed Teo to Hix, he patted Teo on the back! That was technically a tag!Teo huffs, and gets Jenson’s attention to get in the ring! Jenson slides in and the two take their places in the opposite corners. They air-fist bump and wait as Cade makes his way up! Jimmy Garcia: BLAZING CRITICAL HIT!Jenson goes for the cover! 1! 2! 3! Ding Ding! Ethan Miller: Your winners, and the team that will face the Heritage for the Tag Team Championships: Teo Blaze and Andre Jenson, the Two Gents!!
Jimmy Garcia: Two Gents have done it! They're facing The Heritage tonight for the Cruiserweight Tag belts!
Katta Pult: What a match that's going to be!Teo and Andre celebrate in the middle of the ring as the referee raises their hands and Cruiserclash fades to commercial.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:12:52 GMT -5
Backstage!
We're shown coming to Biggs office as the door swings open with shouting and yelling. Luka Parsons: YOU CANCEL THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW, DAMN YOU! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! ITS STUPID!James Payne: You're being RACIST!Biggs is trying to calm them down. Luka Parsons: DO IT, NOW!James Payne: YOU SPINELESS COWARD! YOU'RE FORCING US TO DEFEND OUR BELTS AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!JJ Biggs: Thats enough! You're facing Two Gents tonight!The crowd pops.
James Payne: Cancel the match.. right now or else.
JJ Biggs: Or else what?!
Payne and Parsons intimidate Biggs back into the wall..
James Payne: You're going to have a thunderstorm of pain rain down on you like you've never felt before!
Biggs smirks and steps back toward them.
JJ Biggs: The match happens, tonight. Now get the hell out of my office.
James Payne: You just made the biggest mistake of your life.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:13:47 GMT -5
The Karlie Seg
Knuckle up blast in the arena, the crowd boo as Karlie makes her way to the ring. She walks around the ring and grabs a chair and tosses it into the ring, then snatches the mic from Ethan Miller. Karlie enters the ring, unfolds it and sits down. Karlie Nash: Normally in this situation I would sit here and threaten to hold up the show until I get what I want, but I don’t have to do that, because no one cares what Karlie Nash wants. I’ve busted my ass week and a week out for this show, Red White and Bruised carried an entire division on our back. When my partner had a fireball thrown in her face, CBS focused on the views on twitter and the AW Youtube channel, rather than show any concern about my tag team partners well being, and promptly awarded The Dark Dynasty a tag team title shot. That’s the type of people CBS and Paramount Plus want representing their brand, people like the Dark Dynasty, Roddy Zalez and the walking STD Addy A, but I digress.Karlie takes a short pause. Karlie Nash: So before JJ Biggs, Torture, or some loser idiot in the production truck cuts my mic, I do what I came out here to do address my opponent tonight Quid. Who is Quid? You may ask well I’ll tell you he is a guy who wears a mask because he thinks it makes him mysterious. Quid is the guy who I’ll beat tonight without breaking a sweat, Quid is the guy who will probably get handed an undeserved title shot, while I’ll have to put over cruiserclash’s next flavor of the month. Who is Quid, Quid is like all of you an irrelevant nobody that’s not worth my time.Karlie stands up and places the mic on the chair and exits the ring, she briefly acknowledges the group of cougars in the front row then exits the arena
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:14:57 GMT -5
Terry Colt Jr. vs. Paul Mall
The opening riff of Halestorm’s “Shoot To Thrill” hits on the PA system, as the second guitar joins the first Terry Colt Jr appears on stage looking humble but determined. There’s no pyro or real changes to the lighting, just Terry standing in his wrestling gear and wearing a simple track jacket with a towel around his shoulders, as the song progresses he heads down the aisle giving a small nod of appreciation to a couple of fans before he reaches the ring. He climbs into the ring, looks out to the crowd nearest to his corner and raises his arm with a ‘thumbs up’, after a few moments he lowers his arm and begins to remove the towel and track jacket, passing them through the ropes to a ringside attendant. As the music fades he performs a few stretches using the nearby ropes. Ethan Miller: In this corner, weighing 197lbs and hailing from The Rough & Ready Ranch. Terry Colt Jr!Katta Pult: We’ve got a great one here with a couple of recent signings to CruiserClash.Jimmy Garcia: Yawn!!Katta Pult: You’re gonna be that guy, huh?A sound of a thumb flicking a lighter reverberates over the PA system as the lights dim to black. It is immediately followed by the synth of a recognizable 80's classic. At the entrance curtain, the formation of a silhouette can be seen: its only distinguishing characteristic is a cherry of a lit menthol near the head. Ethan Miller: Making his way down to the ring, from Winston-Salem, North Carolina!As "Rock me Amadeus" begins to pick up, the lights return to reveal the Surgeon General’s sworn enemy and the highway’s best friend taking a drag from the cancer stick and exhaling extravagantly. Ethan Miller: Weighing in at 200 pounds, he is the Natural American Spirit...Paul Mall!The trucker-slash-acrobat makes his way down the aisle with the cigarette in his mouth, making sure to criss-cross the barricades to slap the outstretched hands of the fans who give him a rousing ovation. As the AW crew have set out a courtesy tray for him at his corner, he pops the ash into it as he climbs into the ring. Scaling the turnbuckle for his obligatory “#1” gesture, Paul (still smoking) performs a back-flip off the ropes to further delight the audience. Katta Pult: Let me guess… You’re rooting for Paul Mall.Jimmy Garcia: Yawn!!Katta Pult: I’m going to need a new broadcast partner this week.Jimmy Garcia: Oh, come on Katta. I’m just pulling your leg. Just call the match while I take a nap.Ding Ding Ding Colt and Mall begin fighting each other as the bell sounds! Paul Mall takes Terry Colt down with a single leg take down! He hits him with a few forearms but Colt gets up and gets to his feet as Mall goes for another take down but Terry throws him off to the canvas. Terry Colt runs and flies towards Paul but he catches him and places him on the canvas once again. Paul Mall springboards off the ropes with a cross body for the pin attempt. 1… 2… Kickout! Katta Pult: Paul Mall nearly caught Terry Colt with that surprise pin attempt.Jimmy Garcia: Paul got some impressive air there and I think Colt was memorized like a deer in lights.Katta Pult: Colt’s responded with an abdominal stretch as they both get to their feet.Jimmy Garcia: An abdominal stretch on CruiserClash? Yawn!!Katta Pult: You’re a real ass tonight aren’t you?Jimmy Garcia: You’re talking and Paul Mall hip tosses Colt onto the canvas and then follows up with a nicely placed drop kick onto the chin.Katta Pult: WOAH!! That sent Colt over the top ropes onto the floor!The referee begins his count as Paul Mall dives thru the middle and top rope with a suicide dive. Terry Colt side steps the move allowing Paul to his the ringside barricade. The fans in the front row scatter like ants trying to escape a blazing fire. Terry Colt slides into the ring as the referee continues counting. 5… 6… 7… Katta Pult: Paul Mall is getting to his feet slowly. I’m not sure he’s going to make the count.8… 9… Jimmy Garcia: He’s showing some gumption getting back to his feet and rolling into the ring at the last possible moment.Terry Colt is not giving Mall any chance to rest, bringing him back up to his feet with a sense of urgency. Colt begins throwing forearm strikes at Paul who falls back into the ring ropes. Colt follows up with a stiff leg kick to the ribs and then another. Colt whips Paul across the ring and as he rebounds Colt with his patented Crackshot! NO!! Paul Mall escapes and hits his Camel Crush!! Mall covers Colt. 1… 2… 3… DING DING DING Jimmy Garcia: Paul Mall with the win out of literally nowhere. I sure didn’t see that coming. I expected Colt to win this one!!Katta Pult: We just appreciate you staying awake Jimmy.Jimmy Garcia: Zzzz’sPaul Mall gets to his feet as the referee raises his arm in victory. The crowd is more into the new guys than expected and both men congratulate each other. Katta Pult: We’ll be right back folks with more action.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:18:49 GMT -5
A Segment!
Jimmy Garcia: We appear to have some time to kill. You want to give your hall of fame speech?Katta Pult: I hate you.Jimmy Garcia: Or I can give mine since I'll probably get into the hall of fame before you seeing as I was the voice of UCI and CruiserClash.Katta Pult: I can hurt you Jimmy.No music plays as Bad Ass Bob walks out, not wearing his usual ring attire instead he appears to be wearing a suit. He walks slowly towards the ring a dejected yet determined look.. as if he's trying to savour this trip to the ring. Jimmy Garcia: It seemed like Bad Ass Bob was starting to overcome his recent struggles in the ring but after his poor performance in the battle royal it has lead insiders to wonder what's wrong with Bob.Katta Pult: As a former wrestler I know... he's just overrated. He's not that good... He's...Bob continues his slow walk to a poor response from the fans. Very few boos or cheers. He finally enters the ring pulls out a microphone and begins to speak. Bad Ass Bob: You got to know when it's time to call things quits. Last week it was obviously what I was good at. My place is not it's the wrestling ring it's in the office. I've enjoyed my time here but I have to face facts. Bad Ass Bob is no mo..Bob is cut off by loud music. Really loud music. As if someone bribed the sound tech to play his music at least three times the normal volume. Fever For the Flava by Hot Action Cop plays as Steven Osbourne steps through the curtain flanked by a classily dressed woman in a mid length skirt. He takes literally forever to get to the ring seemingly hitting on every single lady on his way to the ring to the annoyance of the woman flanking him who encourages him to get into the ring but he pays no attention. Jimmy Garcia: That's former APW star “The Super Sexy Boogeyman Slayer” Steven Osbourne! Making his first appearance here on CruiserClash alongside his manager Veronica Anderson.Katta Pult: That's why I haven't actually beaten you up Jimmy. Then I'd have to do my own research.Steven goes under the ring and pulls out a massive mirror admiring his own obnoxious pink leisure suit ring gear in it before taking a microphone from Veronica's purse, slapping her on the ass to a death glare then rolling into the ring. Steven Osbourne: You know Bob.. it is an honour to share the ring with you. We have so much in common. We both have great nicknames. You're Bad Ass Bob. And all the others call me the Super Sexy Boogeyman Slayer! We're both great wrestlers. I have held the APW Junior Heavyweight champion twice... and the APW North American championship twice. And you... well you just keep trying Bob. I look like the twin of an sexual god. You look like the bastard son of Weird Al.Bob snatches the microphone away from Steven Osbourne. Bad Ass Bob: Would you just get the hell out of here and let me retire with class?Steven takes the mic back with a smirk. Steven Osbourne: You want to retire? I think that's a great idea Bob. I mean you've accomplished all you could... nothing. But it's time for a new breed here in Action Wrestling. But for some reason they don't seem to want to sign me to a contract. So I have a solution. Instead of retiring why don't you sell me for spot on the roster for this..Steven reaches down his pants into his thong and pulls out a single, dirty dollar bill. Bad Ass Bob: I'd never sell my contract to the likes of you.. now get out of my ring you piece of trash.The crowd actually starts to get behind Bob showing some fire again. Steven continues smirking. Steven Osbourne: I don't think you get it Bob. Either you give me your spot or I take it. I have women to sleep with and Action Wrestling is just the platform for that. Addy A, Lissie Hope, Jason's sister Regan.. the possibilities are endless. And you won't get in my way. Let me remind you.. I finished in the top three in the Evolution battle royal and you didn't even get on the card. You'll always be Below Average Bob to me...Bob tackles Steven unloading on him with a series of rights and lefts before screaming for a referee to get the fuck in here. Jimmy Garcia: Looks like we have an unscheduled match!Katta Pult: Is it really smart for Bob to risk his contract on a match he never prepared for?Jimmy Garcia: It looks like it the way it's going so far. Bob tosses Steven across the ring by his long hair. Then he does it again actually ripping some of the hair out. Bob is choking Osbourne with his own hair! Bad Ass Bob showing that bad ass fire that has been missing lately.Steven starts to escape.. but he's taken off guard by Bob's wrong side headlock as he reigns down punches into the face of Steven before taking him down hard with a bulldog. The crowd cheers as Bob starts to stomp the life out of Steven. He rolls him over and gives him the wishbone.. then does it again. Katta Pult: I don't think that's going to help Steven's chances with the ladies. Now Bob slingshots him right into the corner.Jimmy Garcia: Then clotheslines the back of his head Bad Ass Bob is all over the arrogant Osbourne tonight and it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.A running powerslam gets a two count for Bob. He then knocks Steven around the ring with a series of elbows before dropping him with the dirty delete his monkey flip into a double stomp. Bob makes the cover. 1... 2... 3! No! Jimmy Garcia: I don't know how Osbourne got the shoulder up there but he did. Bob flips off the ref.Bad Ass Bob: That was fucking 3!Katta Pult: Steven like the ring veteran he is slides out of the ring for a breather. Now look at this.. Veronica Anderson leaps onto the ring apron to help out her man. She's trying to distract Bob.Bob merely flips her off. Jimmy Garcia: Bob don't give a fuck about valets he's a badass. It does looks like the referee is paying attention to Veronica though. I don't know if that's gonna help anything though as Bob drops to the floor in pursuit of Osbourne. He charges him and oh my god!Steven executes a drop toe hold on the charging Bad Ass sending him head first through the mirror. The crowd does not approve as Steven drags Bob out of the glass, slapping him several times Steven Osbourne: You're the Jannetty here!Steven dropkicks Bob into the ring post then tossing him back in then scooping Veronica off the ring apron cupping her ass and carrying her around the outside of the ring to celebrate. Veronica shakes her head and gestures at Osbourne to follow up in the ring. He sets her up and rolls in nonchalantly covering Bob. 1.. 2.. Kick out! Jimmy Garcia: Bob showing some heart here in kicking out after those brutal moves on the floor. Steven is no pushover. He retired Masada's uncle Judei after defeating him in back to back matches in APW.Steven goes to the top rope connecting him with a missile dropkick before dropping a series of knees onto the face of Bob then covering again. 1.. 2.. Another kick out! Steven heads up to the top rope... and lands a moonsault. Steven Osbourne: See Bob? I even have a better moonsault than you!Steven pins again. 1.. 2.. Jimmy Garcia: Apparently he doesn't as Bob kicks out once again. Bob does have a beautiful moonsault.Katta Pult: You really think that's going to matter?Belly to Belly from Osbourne follows as he lifts Bad Ass Bob off the mat before going to the top rope... Jimmy Garcia: Steven leaps with his Sexexecution... his version of the rana.. but Bob some had something left.. he counters it with the I'm Sorry Did I Just Break Your Neck powerbomb! And I hope he did!Katta Pult: Both men are down though. Bob can't follow up. The referee is counting. You think if they both get counted down Bob still has to give up his contract? I really hope so.5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. 9.. Bob dives to his left covering Osbourne. 1.. 2.. Shoulder up! Bob and Steven both try to pull themselves up. Steven gets up first but Bob executes a double leg takedown into the thesz press unloading on Steven with hard blows. He gets up stumbling around the ring trying to recover then unloads with a big boot on Osbourne knocking him into the ropes. Bob backs off then blasts Steven with a roaring elbow causing his eyes to roll back into his head. Jimmy Garcia: There's the Bad Ass Trip! Bob launched himself across the ring with a cross body knocking both of them to the floor! He's risking his own health to show he has what it takes in Action Wrestling!The crowd is actually into it. A bit of a Bob chant starts. Bad Ass Bob wills himself to the feet on the floor. He grabs Steven pulling him to his feet.. only to be grabbed around the ankles by Veronica Anderson out of the referee's view. Bob turns to try and get separation.. only to be hit with a massive uppercut low blow! Jimmy Garcia: Damnit! If not for Veronica Anderson's interference Bob would have won this match ages ago.Katta Pult: That's why you hire a manager. Veronica is just doing her job and doing it well.Jimmy Garcia: Damnit... That's the Missionary Position! Steven hit a praying mantis powerbomb on the floor. Bob is out cold.Steven struts several steps then takes Veronica by the hand and drags her into the ring. Steven Osbourne: You know Ronnie.. after this amazing performance.. after the way I kicked Bad Ass Bob's ass all on my own.. I deserve a reward and so do you. So rip off your top.. show them tits..I'll whip out my Big Stevie.. and we can show everyone in this building exactly what they are missing.Veronica looks shocked.. the crowd looks shocked but quickly turns to massive boos.. Jimmy Garcia: I think we now know why Action Wrestling wouldn't touch Steven Osbourne as he bring the old fashioned sexual harassment.Bad Ass Bob slides into the ring and taps Steven on the shoulder. He spins around and immediately is caught with the Aim Low superkick to the balls. Katta Pult: That could be a disqualification... but I think after what Steven just did they are letting it go.Bad Ass Bob shoots Steven off the ropes and drills him with a vicious Wing and a Prayer Redux right hook. Jimmy Garcia: I think he knocked out a tooth. Good!Bob goes to the top rope.. and shuts Steven up with his moonsault! 1... 2.. 3! Ethan Miller: Your winner of the match Bad Ass Bob!The crowd gives Bob perhaps the biggest cheer of his AW run. Bob grins and flips the fans off.. getting more cheers. Then flips Veronica off.. then flips off Steven twice before leaving the ring. Veronica pauses.. then drives her high heel shoe into Steven's groin grinding it in before exiting the ring seemingly trying to catch up with Bob. Jimmy Garcia: What a CruiserClash! We just saw a former APW Champion! We'll be right back!
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:19:39 GMT -5
Ethan Miller: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, Introducing first from Part Unknown, Quid
4'33" by John Cage plays in the arena, Quid walks to the ring and enters.
Knuckle Up by Snowgoons blasts in the arena as Karlie steps on the stage with her back to the crown.
Ethan Miller: Introducing from Grand Marais Minnesota and accompanied to the ring by Tracy Dixon and Hilda Meyer weighing one hundred and seventy two-pounds, The Premier Athlete Karlie Nash.
Karlie walks to the ring ignoring the crowd, she climbs the ropes from the outside, and gives a thumbs down to the fans, then lowers her hood and smirks at the crowd, she steps down from the ropes inside the ring, removes her hoodie and stretches in the corner.
Jimmy Garcia: We haven’t seen much of Quid here on Cruiserclash.
Katta Pult: Probably a good reason for that.
As Karlie is getting last minute instructions for Tracy, Quid jumps her from behind and the bell rings.
Jimmy Garcia: Quid with the Pearl Harbour job on Karlie.
Quid stomps on the back of Karlie, then drops an elbow to her lower back, Quid picks Karlie up and drops her with a neckbreaker and covers.
One Two Kickout.
Quid climbs the ropes and nails a rising Karlie with a double axe handle and connects with a leg drop and covers.
One Two. Kickout.
Quid again lifts Karlie up, hooks her and drives her to the mat with a hard suplex and covers.
One Two Kickout.
Jimmy Garcia: Quid has been in complete control of the match since the opening bell.
Katta Pult: And before it.
Quid picks Karlie and hooks her head and slams her to the mat with a DDT. Quid turns karlie over and climbs the ropes and dives off with a splash. Quid picks Karlie up and slams her to the mat Quid drops several quick Elbow drops followed by another leg drop and covers.
One Two Karlie gets her shoulder up at the last possible minute.
Quid shows a little frustration after Karlie kicks out, he picks Karlie up and tosses her out of the ring. Quid slides out and picks Karlie up and whips her into the barricade, Karlie hits hard and rebounds out, Quid connects with a clothesline, and slides back into the ring as the referee counts. Karlie just beats the ten count.
Jimmy Garcia: Katta,we’ve watched many Karlie matches here on Cruiserclash, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her get beaten this bad.
Katta Pult: Honestly, Jimmy this is sad, Karlie is one of the best wrestler’s Cruiserclash has, but she hasn’t recovered from the early attack , and has mounted zero offense in this match.
Quid stalks Karlie as she attempts to get up, Quid charges for a clothesline and Karlie ducks, Quid turns around and Karlie cold cocks him with a right hand, Karlie then kicks Quid in the gut and hooks him and lifts him up for a vertical suplex, Quid fights it and manages to drop behind Karlie, Quid nails karlie with a back suplex and covers.
One Two Kickout
Quid sensing he has the mat in the bag, and throws one punch, then two, he throws the third and Karlie ducks, then drives her knee into the gut. Quid bends over Karlie, hooks his head and unleashes with a series of knees to Quid gut. Karlie whips Quid into the corner, and unloads with extremely stiff knees strikes, the ref calls for a break. Karlie breaks at four. Quid starts to pull himself, karlie nails him with a European Uppercut, then holds him and delivers a headbutt, Karlie clinches Quid, and unloads with a series of knees strikes, then hooks Quid and drives him to the mat with Butterfly suplex and locks in a neck crank.
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie is back in it, and she’s mat wrestling the mat wrestler.
Katta Pult: The way she is cranking on Quid's neck she might twist his head off.
Karlie breaks the hold then lifts Quid and kicks him in the back, then connects with a rolling neck snap, Quid pops up and karlie kicks him in the chest. Karlie picks Quid up and places him over her shoulder and drives Quid to the mat with a Death Valley driver, Karlie hooks Quid's leg and drives it hard to the mat, Karlie then locks in an Indian Death lock.
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie is busting out moves we haven’t seen in a while, Quid is a mat grabbling expert, but Karlie knows what she’s doing on the mat.
Katta Pult: People forget just how good Karlie’s mat game is.
Karlie wrenches on the ankle, as the ref drops down to ask Quid if her wants to submit he shakes his head no, karlie quickly grabs the ropes for extra leverage, Karlie releases the hold then lifts Quid and chokes him in the ropes, the ref counts and Karlie breaks at four, and argue with the ref to allow Tracy to choke Quid on the ropes. Karlie places her knee and the back of Quid's neck and uses the ropes for leverage, and the ref counts to four and Karlie breaks, again she argues with the ref this time, Hilda punches Quid in the face.
Jimmy Garcia: Karlie resorting to the questionable tactics.
Katta Pult: I don’t see any questionable tactics, what match are you watching Jimmy.
Quid stumbles out of the ropes, Karlie is poised to deliver her trademark Unsportsmanlike Conduct lariat, but instead she connects with brogue kick.
Katta Pult: Break Ya Ugly Face, karlie just connected with one of Nikola’s trademark moves
As Quid staggers to his feet, Karlie runs the ropes and connects with an outright vicious Unsportsmanlike Conduct. Karlie lifts Quid and gets him into position, and lifts him vertically, and violently drives Quid the mat with the Upper Body Injury. The force of the moves causes Quid to bounce off the mat then fall face down on the mat. Karlie covers.
One Two Three.
Ding Ding.
Ethan Miller: Here is your winner, Karlie Nash
Jimmy Garcia: This was a great bounce back win for Karlie here tonight, she survived the early attack from Quid and pulled out the win.
Katta Pult: The Upper Body Injury is a scary move, I don’t care who you are if Karlie hits it you're not getting up.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:22:08 GMT -5
The Roddy Z!
We head back into the arena as "Happy Endings" by Mike Shinoda ft. iann diorr and UPSAHL play on the PA. The crowd immediately start pouring out boos as Roddy Zalez, a smirk on his face, hits the stage. He's wearing a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He's got a black vest and tie on, both accentuating the black slacks and brown Salvatores. To top it all off, the All Access X Championship sits over his shoulder. The smirk on his face and Raybans over his eyes go without saying. Jimmy Garcia: Roddy, looking as cocky as ever coming off that win at Uprising.Katta Pult: And what a win it was against Karlie Nash.As Roddy walks down the ramp, he is flanked by Doc Knockem in a black suit jacket, white button-up shirt, black tie, black slacks, and brown cowboy boots. He also has a white cowboy hat on his head. He just looks as intimidating as always. Jimmy Garcia: And there's the main component. Doc Knockem, once against proving to be Roddy's main back-up.Katta Pult: Doc provided the distraction, and yes, got way too handsy with Amanda, one of Karlie's...beaus, let's say, but it was the championship to the skull that sealed Karlie's fate.Jimmy Garcia: Yeah don't remind me...Roddy ignores the fans jeers, walking tall (as tall as he can) down to the ring while Doc Knockem trails with a six-pack of beer in hand. In the ring, we can see an easel set-up with a sheet over something. The two eventually reach the ring, taking the steps and entering one after the other. They reach the center of the ring as the music fades away. Doc walks over towards the ropes, saying something to Ethan Miller. After a few moments, Ethan obliges. Ethan Miller: Ladies and gentlemen. Introducing, much to your viewing pleasure.The crowd's boos come back in full force. Ethan Miller: Accompanied by "Hard Hitting" Doc Knockem. Hailing from The Palace of Paradise in St. Petersburg, Florida. Weighing tonight at a stunning 197 pounds. He is the CURRENT...and longest REIGNING...CBS All Access X Champion...he is THE...Young Dynasty. Roddy...ZALEZ!Doc signals to Ethan, who walks over and hands his mic over to the big man. Doc then hands the mic over to Roddy who cleans it off a bit. Doc reaches down and uncaps two bottles of beer, handing one to his cohort. The crowd has not stopped booing. Roddy Zalez: Have we been here before?Roddy raises a bottle as the crowd continues their boos. Roddy Zalez: Yeah...yeah we have...it was Azzy...then it was Kaine...ah man, it's almost...it's almost like I'm right, or something.This doesn't get the crowd any happier. Roddy Zalez: Well...when in Rome...let us have a toast...He and Doc raise their bottles up high. Roddy Zalez: Not to the legacy of Azurine Vebbins that died when I beat her a week after she won...MY...championship...Let those boos continue. Roddy Zalez: Not to the legacy of Damian Kaine that never had a chance to live at all when I finally beat him...and isn't it fuckin ironic that despite losing the match that mattered the most...he ended up losing the match that mattered more. How's that for karma, Mr. "I know I’ve said the same shit week in and week out"?The boos from this aren't receding. Roddy Zalez: Not even...to Miss Karlie Nash...whose legacy, we honor here tonight. And I honor her...in the way she would most want to.Doc grabs the sheet with his open hand, tearing it off to reveal a blown-up picture of a black-bar-censored naked older pornstar. Roddy Zalez: By pretending to give a shit about MILFS...Roddy nods his head before Doc sends the picture forward into the mat, effectively blocking the picture from view of everybody. Roddy Zalez:...and then proceeding to fail at every other situation.The two men then tip their bottles back, swallowing about half of each. ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLEASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLEASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLEASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLERoddy Zalez: Yes, I know Karlie is for treating women like that.The boos return in full force. A plastic cup of beer even finds its way into the ring. It misses both Roddy and Doc, but it's noticed all the same. Roddy Zalez: Security, I want that vandal thrown out of the arena. And if any of you idiots in Fresno, California think that that's suitable enough of an attitude...then all I have...is this...to say.Roddy and Doc then pour their bottles over, emptying whatever's left onto the back of the picture. Roddy Zalez: That...was for Karlie Nash...as a memory...to whatever failure she decides to be part of next.Roddy takes off his Raybans, hooking them in his collar as the boos continue to pour. Roddy Zalez: I'm the CBS All Access X Champion. I'm the one on CruiserClash stealin the show every week. Not Addy, not Terra, not Reagan, sure as shit isn't Two Gents or Heritage. I'm the guy making CruiserClash seem like a watchable show. So if anybody out here in the back...thinks they can beat me for this...wonderful...beautiful...magnificent championship...then you're welcome to get in line. But keep in mind...just like you can challenge and try to beat me...so to...can you become nothing but another tribute...to the wasted beer bottles that I spend on any of you pathetic losers.Doc hands Roddy another bottle of beer as he takes another drink from it. Roddy Zalez: You can't stop destiny...you can't stop my dynasty...and you can't stop...Roddy...Zalez!Roddy finishes off the beer in one breath, ignoring the beer that spilled out onto his front. Once it's empty, he tosses the bottle away before leaving. Jimmy Garcia: Strong words and an even stronger challenge from Zalez.Katta Pult: Yeah but with Doc Knockem and a bottle of beer always close by, who is going to be able to outlast both...and THEN have to deal with Roddy himself?With that, as we see Roddy and Doc taunt passing audience members, we fade to a commercial.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:27:24 GMT -5
Masuda Teijin vs. DeSean Daniels
"Industry Baby" by Lil Nas X plays and DeSean Daniels makes his way to the ring. Jimmy Garcia: Another bright, young addition to CruiserClash.Katta Pult: But he's up against a seasoned veteran in Masuda Teijin.Pulses of light flashbang the arena before going completely dark. “Kikotei” by King Gnu power chords bring a somber yet focused Masuda Teijin to the stage. Fans cheer as he makes his appearance on the ramp while lights remain low like a platinum dusk. Teijin wears a black-silver coat studded by miscellaneous bits of metal shaped like skulls and spines. Bursts of blinding white pyro fire off around him at the first break into its rapid chorus. He doesn't budge. Ethan Miller: On his way to the ring by Yokohama, Japan… weighing 200 pounds… Masuda Teijin!Tejin walks slow but assuredly to the apron but stops to take in the chorus. His messy mounds of golden hair glisten in the limelight. Teijin circles around for a flyby of the commentary table, letting his open coat ripple by them. He then hops onto the apron with a couple spins to where he’s leaning off ropes for a smug pose towards a disapproving audience. Ducking and stepping into the ring to the ring’s center, he begins a final presentation—exacerbated by boos and the song’s droning chorus—ends with him goading more hatred with summoning waves. He then disrobes to his ring gear and leans in his corner for everything to begin. Jimmy Garcia: He doesn't seem too interested in this match.Katta Pult: Some athletes mentally prepare differently than others. When I was competing in the Olympics--Suddenly her microphone cuts out. The opening bell tolls and the competitors circle one another before locking up, as competitors often do. DeSean takes early control by pushing Masuda back to the corner, but Masuda reverses and backs out of the lock-up, then unleashes his fury with a series of kicks. Masuda backs up and charges in. DeSean jumps up and catches Masuda with a jumping knee, which staggers Masuda to the middle of the ring. DeSean comes out and clocks Masuda with an inverted roundhouse kick. Masuda hits the mat and rolls to the ropes, then under the bottom rope to the apron. He pulls himself up as DeSean charges at him. DeSean goes for a forearm strike but Masuda pulls down the rope and DeSean goes tumbling over and to the floor. Masuda looks back and he nods his head, then holds onto the ropes. Jimmy Garcia: Is it time for an Asai Moonsault?! He rarely uses that aerial maneuver!Before he has a chance to springboard, DeSean pulls him off the apron. Masuda lands on his feet and DeSean turns him around and gets in a quick uppercut before whipping Masuda out and then back into the edge of the ring. DeSean rolls Masuda back into the ring. Masuda rolls to the center of the ring as DeSean gets back in. DeSean hits a running shooting star press. Katta Pult: DRAGON’S FLIGHT!Jimmy Garcia: AND THERE’S THE COVER!ONE! TWO!! KICKOUT!!! DeSean pulls Masuda up to his knees and then pumps his fists before kicking Masuda across the chest. After a few more kicks, he stops to pump his fists harder. The fans are into it, man. He goes for a big kick and Masuda pops to his feet and hooks DeSean’s leg, then pulls him in close and plants him with a yuge t-bone suplex. Jimmy Garcia: DeSean Daniels got some serious air off of that suplex before crashing!Masuda covers DeSean. ONE! TWO!! KICKOUT!!! Masuda locks on an armbar and then pulls DeSean up off of the mat. He backs DeSean up to the corner and then releases the hold. Without hesitation, Masuda lights him up with stiff af knife edge chops. Jimmy Garcia: OH MY GOD! LOOK AT DESEAN'S CHEST! HE'S BLEEDING!Katta Pult: LOOK AT THE SMILE ON MASUDA'S FACE!The chops eventually wear Masuda down and he backs off, trying to catch his breath. A moment later, DeSean bursts out of the corner and he takes Masuda down with a shotgun dropkick. Both men are down and the fans are going bonkers. DeSean kips up! He gets to his feet and calls for a superkick! He shoots across the ring and goes for a superkick but Masuda ducks and rolls DeSean up! ONE! TWO!! THREE!! DING DING DING Jimmy Garcia: MASUDA STOLE ONE!!Katta Pult: What a win for Masuda!Daniels gets up and can't believe it and superkicks Masuda anyway! Masuda is out and rolls out of the ring as DeSean Daniels just shrugs it off! Jimmy Garcia: Well, at least he got the Superkick on him!As DeSean makes his way to the back, the lights in the arena turn off. The titantron turns out, and between the sounds of static and the beeps of off-air television, we eventually see these words. CONGRATULATIONS DESEAN
YOU KICKED MASUDA IN THE HEAD
BUT DON'T CELEBRATE TOO MUCH YET
YOUR FUTURE ISN'T QUITE AS VICTORIOUS
ONE VICTORY
FROM ONLY ONE MATCH
I'M IN THE SAME BOAT
SO I PROPOSE A RUBBER MATCH
YOU AND ME
ONE MORE TIME
AMERICAN MADE
DON'T WORRY MUCH ABOUT CELEBRATING
Ị̶̙̝͔̤͉͚̮̟͚̈̓̑͑̍̆͊̔̽̋̌͑̅̿͠Ṯ̶̘̞̺͇̹̱̟̖̟̳̗͎̐̑͆̒̓̀̂̋̚͜͜͝'̴̼̹͆̏̓̎͌̑̑͂̍̽̃̿̕͠͝Ś̷̪̩̩̋ ̴͎̱̜̣͚͎̫͉͓̀̅̀̓͗̌́͆̑͌͊̚͠Ḩ̸͉͍͖̭͗A̴̧͚̙͖̭͖̦̫͗̽̏͋̄͝Ŗ̴̢̤̳̟̟̖̰̼͖̞̈́͂͐̃̿̓̃̕̕̚͜͜͠ͅD̸̨̢̤͎͈̮͔̪͍̣̘͛̊̐̏͒̔̅͊̆͐̊ ̷̪͌̄̒̐̈́̽̈́͗̆̓́̕T̷̨͉̟͔̈́̉̀̚̕͝Ơ̶̡͉̳͙͕͕̣͍̘̻̲͑̀͊̆̽̓͗͋̓͂̄͘͝ ̶̧̧̛̛̺͖̜̯͍͇̞̯̖̏̌̊̔͘C̸̡̺̩̱͇̠̪̰̲͔̭̠̹̩̙̈̌̓̏̂̕͝E̸͎̔ͅL̶̨̹̹̞͙̄͛͒̈́̋͑̎̽͝͝͠Ȩ̵͇̝͈͍̙̻͕̯̣̲̟̟̦̀̐́͗͒̑̈́̍̓̀͒͝B̷̥̖͖̣͖͔̺̮̞͕̦̺͕̦̩͒̽̏R̶̜̝̦̄͌̒̓͌̊̋̍͌Ą̴̩̘͚̦͎̺̮̹̘̩̠̖̰͇̋̓̔̾̍̽T̵̛̛̝̞͌͆̿̊͆̾̎̆E̶̡̬̥͚͛̇̽̍̾ ̴̡͈̻̖̓́͊̉̂̆̆̾̀͘̕͝W̴̡̺̦̻̜̩͓͎͕̜̐́̆̇͂͗̌̅̌̕͜I̷͙̻͗̈́̋̀T̷̨̟̥̟̟͍̪̪̾̋H̵͚̺͔͖̀͛́͑̔̄̐̉̀̅̈́̎̃̌͝ ̸͚̰̂̐́̿͂̽͌̀͛̈́͘͝Ḅ̷̢͎̮̠̺̜͖̮͎̤̪̣̋R̵̲̬̟̙͉̖̊̔̀̑̈̇̾̿̏̕O̴̟̭̙̮̍̀̒̑̃͂̔̓̀͒̍̋̂̐K̴̨̳̯̩͔̬͇͇̓̋̽͂̽̈́̇̿͘͝͝ͅȨ̶͈͕̪͕̺̜͔̝̻̪͆ͅN̵̨̟͇̯̳̏̂͗͛́̈́̅ͅ ̵̗̄̿̑L̵̥͌̈́̽̆̃͒̀̄̉̃̊̌͋͝E̷̻̣͕̻̲̘̲̗͈̍̌͊̿͂̋̔̈́̓́́͘Ģ̶͖͓͖͔̺̠͈̯̤̝̙̩̱̐̆̊S̴̢̗̫͚̭̦̻̯͈̣͓̭̈́̂̾͜
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:28:35 GMT -5
POOF!
Backstage, we find Jade Riley chasing an irate Magic Maddox down the hallway in an attempt to conduct an interview with Magic while he speed walks… somewhere.JR: Magic! Magic! Where are you going?MM: Jade, now’s not a good time!JR: But where are you going?MM: Jade! NOT! NOW!Jade stops following and turns to face the camera as Magic continues down the hall in the background. JR: Well, I tried to get a word with Magic Maddox regarding his, uh, legal situation with Action Wrestling’s Flop, but… he’s just not having it. In the background, Magic comes to a door and starts pounding on it. Jade hears the commotion and waves to the camera operator to follow her toward the scene. As the camera approaches, Magic’s screaming rings through loud and clear. MM: FLOP! COME OUT OF THERE, YOU JUDAS! Magic pounds on the door over and over until it just casually swings open and Magic’s eyes go wide. MM: WHAT?! Magic storms off as Jade looks into the camera confused as she gestures for the camera to get a shot of what’s on the other side of the door. On a standard barstool, a note lays beside a rancid hotdog. The note reads:
Why did God let Norb die? Why, Magic? Why?
The shot fades on the note.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:41:47 GMT -5
Two Gents vs. The Heritage(c)
We're back live on Cruiserclash and theres a SCUFFLE backstage! That's because Payne and Parsons have attacked Two Gents in gorilla position!! Jimmy Garcia: What the hell!Payne and Parsons throw Teo and Jenson through hte curtain onto the stage! The crowd is booing as Jenson is kicked by Payne and then thrown down the ramp causing him to roll to the bottom of it! Katta Pult: Look out!! There is a ref trying to stop all of this!Parsons picks up Teo and slams him down onto the ramp stiff as fuck! Teo rolls down the ramp and protects Jenson from more strikes and boots from Payne.
Jimmy Garcia: What is going on?!
Parsons and Payne pick up Teo and Jenson and throw them into the ring and The Heritage demand the ref to ring the bell!
The ref is saying no and trying to wave off the match!
Jimmy Garcia: This match can't happen! They just brutally attacked Two Gents!
The ref is talking to Teo and Jenson and theyre telling the official they want it to continue!
The crowd starts to cheer!
Payne and Parsons are ready in the corner and the ref rings the bell!!
DING DING DING
Katta Pult: It's official!!
Parsons rushes across the ring but Jenson moves and Parsons crashes into the turnbuckles!
Payne turns around and Teo hits A BLAZING KNEE!!
Jenson hits a dropkick on Parsons causing him to crash out of the ring!
Payne is out and Teo and Jenson jump on him for the pin!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
DING DING DING
Jimmy Garcia: WHAT?! WHAT!? WHAT!?
Katta Pult: TWO GENTS ARE CRUISERWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ONCE AGAIN!!
The crowd is popping like crazy as Jenson and Teo get up and celebrate and embrace!!
Jimmy Garcia: I CANT BELIEVE IT!! FIVE TIME CRUISERWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!
Katta Pult: NO ONE HAS EVER WON A CHAMPIONSHIP THAT MANY TIMES IN ACTION WRESTLING!
Teo and Jenson grab their Championship belts as Payne and Parsons are PISSED the fuck off on the outside!
Katta Pult: TEO AND JENSON!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! FIVE TIME CRUISERWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!
We fade out as Two Gents celebrate on the turnbuckles!
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:45:42 GMT -5
Backstage Again!
Payne and Parsons are backstage in a small hallway breathing heavy, frustrated, kicking things.
Parsons: AHHHHRRR!!!
Parsons punt kicks a production box over.
Payne: He's going to pay.. HE'S GOING TO PAY!!
Parsons: You're not.. you're not really going to call him, are you?
Payne: I.. already did.
Parsons: Oh no.
Payne shoves Parsons.
Payne: WAKE UP! ITS TIME WE TAKE WHATS OURS!
The scene fades out.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:55:50 GMT -5
Jim Muds Performance Review
We're in JJ Biggs office with Ned the Intern as Jim Mud walks in, confident, with a mouthful of chew inside his bottom lip. JJ Biggs: Ahh, yes! Here we are. I've been waiting for his!Mud stands there and adjusts his trucker hat. JJ Biggs: For months and months you ran this show into the ground, you bullied your way into General Manager, you fired me.. YOU FIRED ME!The crowd cheers for Biggs.
JJ Biggs: So, there is no performance review, you son of a bitch! BECAUSE.. YOU..
he takes a deep breathe as the crowd is ready to explode.
JJ Biggs: ARE.. FIRED!!
The crowd POPS!! They all start to chant YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Jim Mud looks around and just smiles.
JJ Biggs: Whats up? Nothing to say?!
Jim Mud: This morning, I accepted a hefty buy-out from Philidor Holdings on my contract. So, you think you won? But.. I couldn't care less, bud.
JJ Biggs seethes with frustration as Mud spits into a water bottle.
Jim Mud: You shouldn't call people names, bud.
Mud smiles as the crowd boos as Mud just walks out forever.
Biggs eyes him up and down as the scene fades out.
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Post by Action Reel on Sept 6, 2021 22:57:14 GMT -5
Regan Voorhees vs. Terra Walker(c)
The Action Tron alights with an image of a black-and-white claymation pig. The swine, clad in top hat and tailed-tuxedo puffs greedily on a cigar, a porcine robber baron. A buzzsaw screams through the scene, teeth rending the wealthy swine in two as red splatters the screen. Blood trickles down, sullying the white background to spell out... REGAN VOORHEES The buzzsaw screech stops as the lights go red, turning the arena to a killing floor. Amid the crimson sea of humanity, a pristine white spotlight tracks up the aisle to the entryway, where it finds Regan sitting crosslegged, her head bowed beneath the hood of her translucent white raincoat. Beneath the see-thru fabric is her sanguine-tinted ring gear, accented with a pattern of weaving white vines adorned with blossoming black camellias. Her pre-match meditation over, the Duchess' eyes snap open as she vaults limberly to a standing position. On her way to the ring she ignores the crowd, instead taking the time stretch her arms and neck. With a saunter, she climbs the ring steps, pausing at the ropes to pull her hood back and shake loose a mane of shoulder-length blond hair. One hand over the ropes, she glances to the crowd, offering them the slightest of photogenic smirks. From there, she removes her raincoat, neatly folding it on the top rope for the ring attendant, before finally entering the ring. Finding her corner, Regan does a quick stretch of each leg, before hooking her elbows under the top rope. Leaning forward, she gives her opponent's corner a dagger's stare as she waits for the opening bell. Jimmy Garcia: I can't believe she's getting a Cruiserweight Championship match tonight!Katta Pult: Terra has an ego too and wanted to defend it! If Addy was here, she'd be kickin' Regans ass right now!"Honeysuckle" by The Dillinger Escape Plan ambushes the PA systems. The lights go frantic, with multiple colors flashing, and multiple spotlights searching around, causing the anticipation and anxiety throughout the crowd. One spotlight spots Terra Walker within the ruckus crowd, who are now going berserk with excitement at her appearance. Ethan Miller: Making her way to the ring. She hails from Oxford, England, and weighs 132 lbs. She is "Psychonic" TERRAAA WALKERRR!She pushes through the ruckus crowd with aggression, until she finds a willing group that crowd surfs her to the barricade. Once there, she stands atop it, and lets out a valiant war cry, the crowd following suit. She walks on the announce table, not caring about the commentators, leaping off afterwards to slide into the ring. Terra rushes to the ropes and let's out another war cry, causing fireworks to shoot above her, crossing rapidly in an X shape. She stands on the bottom turnbuckle, ready to slaughter anyone in her path. DING DING DING Terra is attacked and Regan throws stirkes! She whips her into the corner and Terra smashes into the turnbuckles and stumbles out and Regan hits a dropkick to the head of Terra! Terra goes down and Regan pins! One! Terra kicks out and gets to the ropes and Regan stomps on her back! Regan picks her up and whips her into the ropes and Regan jumps up hitting a crossbody knocking Terra down and covering! One! Terra kicks up and Regan goes into the corner holding her ribs! Katta Pult: Yeah, its starting to come back! The pain! Regan is still hurt from that Ladder smash last week at Uprising!Terra comes in with a kick but Regan, ducks and rolls her up! One! Terra kicks out again! Regan grabs the leg and slides under the ropes and slams the back of her knee on the apron! Terra yells out in pain as Regan springboards off the ropes and drops an elbow to the back of the knee of Terra! Jimmy Garcia: WOW!Regan pins! One! Two! Terra kicks out! Regan gets up and whips Terra into the turnbuckles and Regan is taunting for the finish! She rushes in but Terra comes out with a lariat sending Regan down! Terra fires up to her feet as Regan stumbles up and Terra hits a spinning neckbreaker! Terra covers! One! Two! Regan kicks out! Terra gets back to her feet as Regan crawls to the corner. Regan is up but Terra comes in smashing her in the corner with a body splash! Regan sits down in the corner! Terra calls for her signature! Katta Pult: She's looking for Landslide!Terra rushes into the corner but the ref stops Terra as Regan is calling for the officials help! Jimmy Garcia: What just happened?!Regan is pointing at her knee and the ref kneels down! Terra wants the match to continue but was just stopped dead in her tracks! Katta Pult: I don't get it! Regan says her knee is hurt!The ref is checking on Regans knee BUT THE CROWD BOOOS!! Jimmy Garcia: HEY! HEY!! HEY!!JOEY FUCKING BUNGA GRABS THE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FROM ETHAN MILLER AND SLIDES INTO THE RING! Katta Pult: OHHH COME ON!!Jimmy Garcia: NOW WE KNOW WHY REGAN WANTED THE TITLE MATCH!! JOEY BUNGA IS HERE!!Regan keeps distracting the ref with her "injured knee" and Bunga SMASHES THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT AGAINST THE BACK OF TERRA!! TERRA DROPS DOWN TO HER KNEES!! Jimmy Garcia: GET OUT OF THERE !!Bunga gets the fuck out of the ring and ducks down as Regan calls the ref off and moves him out of the way and slides over and grabs Terra and shoves her down and goes for a cover!! Katta Pult: NOT THIS WAY!!REGAN COVERS!! ONE!! TWO!! ADDY A SLIDES INTO THE RING AND STARTS PUNCHING AT REGAN!! THE REF RINGS THE BELL!! DING DING DING Jimmy Garcia: ADDY!! ADDY! ADDY!! ADDY A IS HERE!!Katta Pult: THE MATCH JUST GOT THROWN OUT!! I DIDNT KNOW ADDY WAS HERE!!Terra rolls out of the ring as Addy keeps punching away at Regan!! Bunga slides into the ring and stomps on Addy!! THE CROWD GASPS AS ADDY JUST STOPS AND LOOKS UP!! BUNGAS EYES OPEN WIDE AND HE TRIES TO GET OUT OF THE RING BUT ADDY GRABS HIM BY HIS SHITTY ASS HAIRCUT AND THROWS HIM TO THE TURNBUCKLES!! Katta Pult: ADDY A TAKING OUT FRUSTRATION ON REGAN!!BUNGA IS EATING EVERY STRIKE ADDY IS THROWING AT HIM!! REGAN TURNS ADDY AROUND BUT ADDY BLOCKS THE STRIKE AND STARTS HITTING RIGHT HANDS ON REGAN!! MORE RIGHT HANDS ON REGAN!! MORE RIGHT HANDS ON REGAN!! SHE WHIPS REGAN INTO THE CORNER AND REGAN SMASHES INTO BUNGA!! ADDY GOES FOR MORE BUT JJ BIGGS, NED THE INTERN AND 10 SECURITY GUARDS GET INTO THE RING AS THEY HOLD ADDY BACK AND REGAN AND BUNGA COLLAPSE OUT OF THE RING.. Katta Pult: MY GOD!! ADDY IS UNLEASHED!!ADDY IS DEMANDING MORE SHOTS AT REGAN BUT BIGGS AND THE OFFICIALS ARE KEEPING HER BACK.. Jimmy Garcia: WE'RE OUT OF TIME ON CRUISERCLASH!!Katta Pult: ADDY A WANTS REGAN BAD!!Regan is trying to stand up and is grabbing Bunga to follow her.. Addy A is being held back into the corner.. Biggs is trying to talk her down.. The graphic appears and CruiserClash goes off the air..
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